


Daughter of the Moon

by Bitchimo



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Action/Adventure, Arranged Marriage, Dalish Elven Culture and Customs, Dalish Elves, Dalish Origin, Death, Elves, Elvhen, F/M, Flashbacks, Fluff and Angst, Grey Wardens, History, Mental Breakdown, Nightmares, Original Character(s), Plots, Side Story, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Tags Contain Spoilers, elfy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-21
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:01:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 31
Words: 171,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3294728
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bitchimo/pseuds/Bitchimo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The young first Ithilwen is sent to the conclave to observe and report back to her clan, but somethings goes horrible wrong. Not only is she changed, but also forced to take a new path in life. </p><p>I'm swedish, and may therefore have made grammatical mistakes. Please don't be afraid to correct me. Thank you for reading.</p><p>EDIT : PROLOGUE.<br/>I have rewritten and edited part one, prologue.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part has been rewritten and super edited. It was originally published early feb. 2015

 

"Garas quenathra, dal'en?"

 

The young girl simply stared at the divine creature before her.

Because to her, to her he felt _divine_.

She stared. Stared at his coat, the long flowing robe that looked like it was made from the deepest part of the ocean, glimmering as green and blue water. She stared at his movements who floated forward as graceful and proud like that of a predator. Not the mighty bear or the cunning fox.

But the wolf.

Because just as he looked divine and beautiful..

He seemed alone.

She only continued to stare as he came closer and closer. It was first when he bent in her front and inspected her eyes that she remembered her father's warnings about the woods and ruins around her.

 

_"Be weary around these forests, daughter. Spirits of a former world lingers."_

 

"Elgar'na?"

The man frowned slightly as he without permission let his long fingers trace the edge of her jaw. She stiffened up a bit as she felt how cool they were in comparison with her hot, swollen skin.

"Banal'elgar, Dal'en."

She thought it strange how she could find herself as lost as she did when she looked him in the eyes. How he with a simple gaze of his ocean-iris seemed to know everything about her, while she none about him in return.

Truth was the man thought the exact thing back about the young elf resting inside his shrine. And not just for the obvious reasons like the way her face that had been mistreated. Neither did the incredible bad state of his asylum that now looked so badly injured help to settle his worries.

Everything and everyone were different now. And as he gazed upon the girl in front of him he only felt more remorseful. Who would even beat a child like the sick individual had done? Humans? He knew of their cruelty long before even had met one. They liked to practice their evils on the ones least deserving off it.

But then again, that would mean she came from a city. And by the looks of it this was no such area. It remained just as vacant as when he had built it. This was not a place of the new people, neither the old. It was too quiet for that. Not even the native residents of the woods would voluntarily come here.

Yet here someone rested. But not through unawareness. The man's brow frowned deeper as he breathed in around him.

This child had magic, he were certain off it.

Someone like her wouldn't willingly come here. Nor would she be able to defend herself, not in this state.

"Garas quenathra?" He repeated as he looked at he girl that only remained silent this time around. In fact, she looked like she didn't even see him.

It was then he realized that she might have trouble breathing because of her swollen and bruised up face.

When his palm hovered over her she instantly stiffened up and her hands took hold of his wrist.

"Hamin, dal'en." He whispered, as he felt her shivering. "Ma tel'enfanim."

She stared for a long while. Had it not been for the blood he would have thought it to be a frown cutting those deep scars in her forehead. Finally her hands left his, but remained in tight fists as they landed at her sides.

For the first time he smiled, gently as his large, smooth palms slowly caught her cheeks.

His magic tugged at the muscles under her facial skin, knotting them back into their original pattern. As her face started to take it's normal form the man in front of her he begun to smile. The wounds were smaller then he first had thought. She would not have any lingering scars to remind her of her experiences.

"Ma melava halani. Ma serannas." She let out a quick sigh.

And when her eyes steadily opened he thought could see himself in them.

Big, ice-blue eyes, but just as warm as sunlight and as deep as the sea.

She drowsily smiled back and soon fell back against the base of the tree where she was resting. The elderly elf slowly and gently leaned forward and loft her up in his arms, went up and turned towards the entrance that long since had been overgrown. He once more felt dis-encouraged as he observed the walls and the state of long since vanished paint as he went through the ruin.

Most of the walls had cracked and the floor had all but vanished under the earth.

Beautiful and terrible at the same time.

The forest had taken the liberty to move in during his far too long sleep. Yet another miscalculation from his side. Hopefully it would not cost him too deeply. Because even if the Magic might not flow as heavy as it once had  he still had a few hidden cards in his sleeve.

He nearly choked on his breath as he saw the outside world for the first time in eons.

The trees that once had been saplings now were far thicker and much higher than he ever thought to be possible. And as he spun around he saw the highest tower utterly destroyed by the Dahl'amythal that once had been gifted by his long since dead friend. And underneath it, he took notice of his own image, standing tall and full with pride among the rubble of a long lost past.

It had been golden once, like the flow of his own hair that he cut free. He would forever walk nude in this new world he had created. The nostalgia soon vanished as he felt the young girl in his arms nearly slip away from his grasp. His eyes instantly went down and as he gazed on her features his eyes slimmed into a smile.

While he had been golden, she was like an image of silver.

The next generation of elves.

He could not help but to frown as he saw her do, but then looked up one last time towards his former self.  He would join her soon and help her through it. But first he had to take her somewhere safe.

His eyes fell shut as he breathed out one long sigh and stretched out his neck.

South.

One step and he was there.

The songs and plays of laughing children led him right to a encampment of sorts. It looked a bit odd in his opinion and the ones in the camp looked a bit different. Thinner, smaller.

Weaker.

He scoffed silently in his head.

 _Slaves_.

For one short moment he looked down on the girl, wining in his arms. Her clothing surely looked like she belonged there. He was just about to turn, with the girl still resting in his arms. It was clear to him that they lacked the right mind to raise children and alone without any knowledge around he would be easy pray. An apprentice would do him good.

But when he saw an elderly woman catch a young boy in an embrace he instantly changed his mind. They were her family and cared deeply about her. Taking her away would be just as cruel as when his oppressors had killed his friend.

And so he placed her next the bulk of a tree as his hand roamed over her silver hair. She was sniffing and breathing hard. Just as he was about to rise he felt himself getting thrown back.

His deep frown eased as he saw her hand, clasped around the jawbone around his throat. He hesitated for a moment, but then let his hand close around the tooth she was holding. A smile broke out on his face as he saw how the tooth that now rested inside the inside of her small palm was enveloped by her tiny white fingers.

 

She ran.

 

He could see her from far away as she was being hunted by other children, along with a big dark shadow trailing it's fingers around her neck. She didn't even scream, merely stared as the black shadow devoured her. The older quickly ventured forward, positioning him between the girl and the shadow.

 

 "Din, Era'Harel."His words boomed around them and soon the shadow stopped in it's tracks as he rose his two hands. 

" **Harillen.** " The shadow growled as it went around the two. " **Tel'Din'an?** "

"Masal Din'an."

" **Tel'eth FEN!** " The shadow growled as it was enveloped up into a dark, dark smoke.

And just as quickly as it vanished the environment started to change.

Where there had been great hollow dark trees there now was big blooming rose bushes. The muddy ground had turned into green grass and where there had been an endless road there now was an ocean.

The man nearly tripped as he felt the girl behind him attack him with a tight embrace. Blushing he turned his upper body as she rubbing her watery face in his green robe. A smile broke out as his fingers slowly followed the wild bob of hair that would dash freely around in the wind. Suddenly she looked up and when he grinned wider she rewarded him by smiling back, despite having red puffy eyes. Their hands met and he led her to the edge of the cliff smelling the salt in the air. They both breathed astonished as they could spot Seagulls diving into the water and erupted with glittering fishes in their peaks. As the sun was setting and the waves hit the shore hard and without mercy.

"Elgar?"

Before the man had the time to correct her she spoke again. "Sahlin then'thaneras."

The elder elf cocked his brow slightly as his eyes still remained on the horizon.

She was intelligent. To figure out that they are in the Fade should not surprise him as much as it did.

"..Falon'nuvinen ma? "

This time he turned his head and observed her for a long moment. Her elvhen was rather fluent. The occasional miss in her grammar was not a surprising thing for someone of her age. But that was besides the point.

Did he dare to promise her friendship when they likely never would meet again? He shouldn't. But neither did he have the heart to tell her no.

So he smiled and squeezed her hand a little bit tighter.

 

"Dareth shiral, Father of wolves."

Suddenly he he looked up, then down on the girl who smiled towards him. His hand instantly fell on her head and gave her a final, gentle pat.

"Dareth shiral, Daughter of moon."

 

And in an instant the girl was gone. He stared out on the sea that steadily grew golden and became an ocean of sand.

 _The world truly has changed.._ He thought to himself as he saw the bones of the old empire rise up and down in the layers of sand that only escalated.

 

He had much to do in this new world.

Much to correct.

 

 `~)*(~´

 

"I can see you, Dalish."

 

She felt her face warm up even more as she observed him from the side.

She had not meant to poke him too hard with the stick that she instantly threw far behind her. She just wondered if he still was alive. The fellow she had seen him fight with just a moment ago weren't. Quite impossible when you lack your head.

He had seen her and from the sounds of it he in turn sounded incredibly stern and annoyed.

How could she had been so, so careless? Poking someone with a stick? Why did she poke someone with a stick? And not just some random stranger.

The one she had poked was a Templar and a human at that. And if he kept true to the stories about them he would given the chance chop her up, cut off her ears and rape her like all humans did. It was just as she had caught her own two pair of ears out of fear that she noticed him having a hard time to breath. She could even see the blood pulsate up from the cracks in his coal-black chest-piece.

For one moment she stood still, unsure how to proceed.

She had killed before.

But killing a Templar could lead to something worse. Second, there was really no reason to have him killed. Even if Kirkwall had been in complete disarray and more and more Templar's had been travelling through the woods.

If she killed him, she would doom her clan to a most certain death.

But did she dare to help him instead? Because that was her two options.

Save, or kill. Leaving him was out of the question. He had seen her, seen her face and knew she were Dalish. If she left him for the wolves he might want revenge for her decision. Then she thought back to her fathers teachings. He had been wrong about many things. He could just as well have been wrong about humans.

 

It had only been a few months since the whole city of Kirkwall had been terrorised by the flocks of Qunari. It made everyone paranoid. Every clan they met warned them to stay away from the human villages. The Templar's are getting violent. None is safe any longer. Not even non mages.

 

"Is there something you need? Otherwise leave me to my death already."

She jumped a little as she was brought back to the current situation. His voice might have been stern, but it sounded strained.

"Do you really wish to die?" She asked after a moment.

A bitter laugh suddenly left his lips. "Ehh, no, I would prefer to die with my sword in my hand." 

"That is still dying!"

"You're very observant, elf."

Unamused by the sarcasm she turned on her heel.

Fine, if he wanted to die so be it.

She had already made it toward the other end of the small glade where she had seen him fight. She really shouldn't help him. Not after witnissing him kill that mage from earlier. But then again, he had been a bandit.

A bandit who had threatened to kill others.

After a moment more of walking she abruptly stopped and looked over her shoulder.

If she left he would die.

Was it really alright to just leave him there, on his own? Because she did have the means to help. To save him.

She didn't like using it, but what ther choise did she have?

After another minuit of inner battle, damning her own resolve she trotted to his side and quickly leaned down.

 

The man on the ground stared as he saw the shadow return and hover over him. His fist tried to seek out the sword, but he noticed that it had been thrown to far to the side for him to reach. He twitched a little when he felt her hair flow over his ear.

AS he looked back she took placed her hands on hiis breastplate, fidgiting with the strapps. Too weak he tried to remove her hands, but she pushed his back and threw away the breastplate.

The feeling of her cool hands against his naked and sore skin was rather sudden and made the Templar cough violently. It was when he felt the warmth that he once again stiffened up.

A mage.

He did not fear the girl though, for she was shaking like a leaf in the wind. If anything she feared him more than he her.

His ears buzzed with a slow tune, like a whissle and soon he felt incredible warm all over his body. His long since tired limbs grew strenght and his eyes became less blured. After another moment the tone faded and the ight surrounding her vanished.

He felt his face turn hot as she cupped his cheeks with both of her hands. The feeling of her warmth spread across the right side of his face and soon his eyes became even more focused.

He even thought himself see her brows frown as her hand traced the right side of his face, letting her finger follow his upper lip.

"Ir abelas, shem, there will be a scar here."

He blinked a few times, but then stared.

Her hair was the same like silver.

 

The air around suddenly changed. She had already risen to her feet when he paniced and grabbed her wrist. The man immediately let go of her as she felt her freeze and stumbled on his words

"I'm sorry! I Just.. I just wanted to thank you. --You could have left me to die here, but you didn't." The girl placed herself on her knees again, the man had risen up on his elbows.

"I am not an animal." She answered bluntly.

The man frowned "Why would I think that?"

The girl hummed in thought for a moment before answering. "Most do."

He huffed out some air in amusement. It was when he realized that they both had been silent for quite some time before he spoke again. "Still, I think I owe you something!"

"No need." But as she said that while jumping to her feet. Just as she had done so she went back down again. "Well, there is something.."

He felt a flush brew as she leaned closer. "If.. If it is within my power then you may have it."

 

And when he could spot the shadow of her hand as it approached his cheek he felt his heart skip a beat. Just as it was about to land it stopped right before his jaw. "Can..Can I touch your hair? "

"My hair?" His eyes widened.

Truth was that the he Templar heard this sort of questions before. But not through genuine affection.

The Brothels were not places he liked to go. But it had been a neccecity since people easily hid amongst the artisans for easy bribes. The question the Dalish mage just had made sent his mind back to some randow and awkward positions he'd rather forget. She must have noticed his hesitation, because she suddenly spoke with a stuttering tone.

"O-on your face."

He stared a moment, but then left out an awkward chuckle. "I see why not."

Her fingers landed on his jaw, brushed and ventured over his his chin, slowly and very lightly at first. After a while she became more eager as she scratched the surface. _This is a new thing I need to add to my weird list_ , he thought to himself as he felt her dot his chin and jaw with her fingers.

He observed her features even more closely and could feel his cheeks burn hot. He hadn't noticed it earlier but she had increadibly bright and blue eyes.

His eyes then fell up on her ears. They were smaller then most elves but still had that sharp edge. She was very close to him and he couldn't help himself from letting his fingers catch the tip of her left ear.

She shivered then and even he in his bad state could spot her whole face turning pink. The Templar turned rather red himself as his hand quickly dashed back.

"I'm sorry! I..Uh," He stuttered as he removed his eyes from hers. "I've always wondered what elven ears feels like.."

He blushed as he looked away. He could feel her stare at him and then the most curious thing occurred.

She laughed.

He turned his head and gazed at the young girl as she laughed harder and harder. She practically fell down on her back besides him folding her hands around her abdomen and kicked her feet high up in the air. After a while she calmed down, giggled from time to time.

He fell down on the ground next to her and they gazed upon the setting sun as everything once more became pleasantly quiet. Birds sang and he could hear the pouring water from the stream just a half a mile away. She let out a laud sigh as he saw her head turn his way.

"I'm sorry for being weird."

"Eh, I've had my fair share of weirdness." The man answered with a soft chuckle. He felt his cheeks burn even hotter as he could make out the bright smile of her grin as giggled again.

They didn't say much more after that. Just looked up at the sky as the suns arms streched out over the tips of the trees. It was when he looked up again that she flew up. Grass and leaves fell from her hair and she quickly picked up her bag with herbs that she had dropped at the side.

"Ir abelas, but.."

"I know."

He had already risen to his feet, a bit dizzy but she caught his hands, holding him steadily. His eyes widened as he felt her shake.

"I'm a Templar but I won't kill you. Not when you have your clan." He whispered as he tried to see her features better and closed his fingers around her hands.

She quickly looked up to observe the man so close in front of her. He was a whole lot taller and broader than she would have been able to see when he was on the ground. Her cheeks flushed when she took notice of his eyes and face.

He was incredibly handsome now that she could see beyond the layers of blood. She felt a giggle as she saw his blonde hair that had tangled with leaves and branches from the ground. Without asking she quickly stretched out her arm and caught once, pulling it out, slowly as she could feel his breath against her cheek.

He stared, but then smiled brightly as she giggled and rose the tiny branch.

The girl nearly swooned in the next moment as she felt his lips brush lightly on her knuckles of the hand that still held it.

"Thank you for your aid, Milady."

The templar wondered if he might have overdone it when he heard her stutter again.

"Ah, yes. thank you for.." Her face burned even harder. "The eh.. Thank you for.."

She released his hands as she backed away, slowly. He looked after her as she became a small dot between the trees. His hand then let his fingers trace the new scar on his upper lip. He would never see her again.

 

And he did regret not asking her name.

  

 `~)*(~´

 

He had never been as angry as he was now.

 

Cursing, swearing in the native and lost tongue alike he stomped through the forest. He cursed his mother and he especially cursed the whole clan for their behavior. They had always picked on her. She did not deserve it but they did that anyhow.

But now they would send her away to do their dirty work.

They all had always been ready to have her thrown to the wolves.

The thought of her leaving harmed him in more ways then one.

If she vanished she might never return. And if she didn't he would feel lost.

Because she had yet to give in to his affections. In fact, she had been totally oblivious of them. Even though he had given her time and opportunity. He love her. He always had, ever since they started to hunt with each other.

They had been partners ever since she started to refuse using her magic. Sadron was the only one, besides his mother, that knew of how cruel her father could be. How he had forced her on everything. Magic, Vallaslin. Absolutely everything.

But she never cried, never despaired. She simply did what was expected. She worked harder so that they would become happy. It never helped.

 

No matter what she did she would always be the child who had killed her own mother.

Unfair. She was a child.

 

He would be dishonest if he said he didn't like her from the beginning either. Like all the others he had believed the rumors of her magic going wild. But when he was assigned to be her bethroed he had started to learn more about her.

She's wise, clever. Quiet, but honest.

He imagined his bride-to-be in his mind, her silver hair that the others always would remind her off. Her snow white skin that always remained white no matter how she was exposed to the radiant light from the sun. Her blue eyes. Her pink lips and the smell of wild flowers. He imagined how those sweet fragments allays clinged to her.

Then he imagined her falling, with a templar sword driven through her chest.

He did not dare to let her go.

She would be killed. Because she was a mage it was even crazier to let her do this all on her own. He found himself waling towards the lake that they had camped close too. He saw saw her by the edge her feet dangling down in the water. It was bit late on the evening, but the sun had warmed the water during the day. Her head rested in her arms, a warm smile was stitched to her face and she hummed with a light tone.

She never smiled. Ever. It filled him with curiosity and suspicion. He walked to her and placed himself besides her. Her smile had vanished, she had put on that blank expression again. Never showing emotions.

"You smiled." Sadron said with teasing tone.

"I did no such thing " She simply responded. His bethroed had always been cold with the others, even him. _Not so strange_ Sadron thought as he observed her from the side. They had been cold to her, from the very moment she was born. But He had never seen the happy girl that obviously had been sitting at the rock earlier. He felt intrigued.

"Why wont you let me come with you?"

"Because your mother never mentioned having a partner for this trip."

"You never asked?"

"I didn't." His brde answered. "If she wanted me to have you with me she would have said so in the first place."

"I am a grown man with the right to choose my own path now. Just like you can."

"That may be in some cases, but the Keeper always decide in the end. Do not push this, Sadron. You know that Deshanna won't change her mind anyhow."

The young man looked away, angry and about to rise.

 

It was first when he remembered that this would be their last conversation for a while that he cooled and retook his seat on the rock. But not without jumping closer to her this time.

"I will miss you, emma'asha." He whispered softly after a few moments while observing her face.

Sadron soon fell forward with with fear in his eyes as he saw the rings caused in the water where she had fallen.

Oblivious, yes. Incredibly so. Because the eyes that stared up on him clearly couldn't tell what he had felt for so long.

A smile grew on Sadrons face and he leaped down, next to her with a bright laughter. She simply stared, words stuck in her throat as he returned back up to the surface.

"Wait a mome--"

She never managed to finish before she felt his hands catch her cheeks.

 

 

He fell further than she had intended but didn't stop to check if he was alright or not. All she had in mind was to flee. She had already swum far towards the shore when she could hear the boy shout after her as fast as she could. When could feel the earth at her feet and she started to run.

"Wait!"

She ignored him and kept up her pace, cursing silently as she felt the tears sting in her eyes. Her robes had been soaked with water and that slowed her down even more. Sadron was faster and in a few moments he had wrapped her in his arms holding her back against his chest. They both breathed heavily and stayed stayed quiet for what seemed like an eternity until she couldn't take it. The feeling of his breathing body close to hers felt wrong and unnerving.

"Let go of me, Sadron."

"No, not until you calm down." He gasped and repositioned himself better.

"Why are you doing this?"

The words confused Sadron even more. "Haven't you ever noticed, emma'asha? Haven't you ever noticed how I always concindred you more than my lethallan?" He whispered in her ear with a tender and softly.

The water didn't taste too great as he flew backwards and stared back up on the raging force.

"Do not presume to call me that ever again, Sadron! "

 

He didn't rise from the water this time around, simply stared at her, shocked while she paced back to their camp.

 

He couldn't find her unill the very next morning. The moment when she was about to leave.

She had a bag ready and as usual the short swords she always used on their hunts tucked at her hip. He thought she looked outstanding in the a thin blue robe and light chain-mail over her arms and thighs.

Sadron was observing the others. Some seemed relived over her going. Others didn't show. The parents and elderly however did seem rather angxieted over her departure. What if she would die? They would have no first if she did.

And what would her father say if she died?

Sadron scoffed as he walked passed some of his age generation who had spat the ground where she had walked. When Sadron approached her gaze darkened. He frowned back and nodded towards the end of the camp.

He stopped by a great statue of Fen'Harel that stood tall and proudly just outside their first guard post. The hunter instantly vanished as soon as he saw her approach, cursing.

"Lethalla-- Sister. Before you go, a.. A word."

Sadron never stumbled on his words and she did somewhat ease the frown she held. Sadron went down in his pocket and dragged up a small pink stone entangled in a thin leather thread thread. He walked forward to her before she could sway him away and let the necklace fall over her shoulders. She gazed up on him again with confusion in her eyes.

Sadron let out a small sigh and cupped her face between his hands.

"Ar lath ma, lethallan."

Her eyes grew twice their original size and both her ears and cheeks became pink. He laughed, while she in turn tried to turn her face away. He gently forced it back to look at him.

"I know we're betrothed in name only, but I always have. Ever since I saw you from the first time in your crib I knew I would watch over you. I knew I would shoulder you. I knew I would be yours and you, mine."

He smiled as he closed in, but just as he brushed his lips against hers her head went aside.

"Ir abelas, Sadron, but I don't know if.." She could feel his breath hitch against her face, but he didn't lose his grip of her.

"When you return, we could speak more about it. Until then.." Here he had leaned back in over here and gave her a chaste kiss on her forhead. She picked up the stone in her hand

"It's pretty.."

"Keep it, as a promise."

She looked back at him again and he smiled softly down on her. She forced a smile of her own.

 

She avoided the big cities and kept to the small roads, avoiding contact with mages and Templar's alike. Those she met she ignored, pretending to look like a simple Dalish out picking herbs. For the most part they walked by, sometimes she needed to run.

It was when she stood by the docks in Kirkwall, when she stood before the sea that she felt something new.

Eager.

The wind smelled like salt and it brought the memory of the elderly Elf back to her where she gazed upon it's wrath and beauty. The small pink stone had been placed next the little wolf tooth around her neck.

No one had ever loved her before. Not even her father.

 

A sudden sting entered her chest as she thought back to the human Templar. The one she had helped about three years ago. Other elf's would have scorned her for thinking about him. She did it as well.

The warmth in her chest when she thought of his blonde, golden hair and honey-coloured eyes was misplaced.

 

Her clan was her path. Sadron was her path. No matter how much she hated it. She could not cast that away.

 

Not for anything.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I updated the Prolouge because it needed some serious editing. 
> 
> Elgar - Spirit
> 
> Sahlin then'thaneras - Im waking up from this dream
> 
> Falon'nuvinen ma? - Do you want to be my friend?
> 
> Falon - Friend
> 
> Vallaslin - Blood writing, the name on Dalish facial tattooes
> 
> Haren - Elder, teacher
> 
> Dal'en - child
> 
> Emma - I am
> 
> Hamin - relax
> 
> Ma melava halani - You helped me
> 
> Garas quenathra, dal'en? - What are you doing here, child
> 
> Ma serannas- Thank you
> 
> Hamin, dal'en. Ma tel'enfanim. - Relax, child. You have nothing to fear from me
> 
> Din Era'harel - Vanish, demon mage. 
> 
> Masal din'an - Translation unknown. A form of a threat, since din'an means death/dead
> 
> Tel'din'an? - You're not dead?
> 
> Harillen - traitor/trickster
> 
> Tel'eth na, FEN! - You're not safe, wolf!
> 
> All characters belong to Bioware.


	2. The sky is green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The young first Ithilwen is sent to the conclave to observe and report back to her clan, but somethings goes horrible wrong. Not only is she changed, but also forced to take a new path in life. 
> 
> Note : I'm swedish and may therefore have made some grammar/spelling mistakes. Do not be afraid to correct me as this is meant to help develop better skills as a writer and help my spelling. Anyway, hope you'll like it.

 

Chased.

She were being _chased_.

 

She could not see them. But she heard them.

 _Smelled_ them.

And she would feel them, through her very core as she slaushed forever forward in total disorray. Panic, fright.

And it hurt.

So far it had clung to her and refused be shaken off. It remained, like it was trying to eat her up.

And then, the area.

Black, green and so much blue. Flowing, _blowing._

that mountain, that city.

But it was to steep. The wall she climbed too high. The rocks, slippery and sharp, but forward.

Harbour, away from terror. Away from death.

And so she climbes, climbes untill her fingers shreds. Even as she climbs she can hear them come. They will take her.

They will eat.

But just as she was about to fall she sees her.

Or it.

When she is about to fall it's golden hand reaches out and closes around her wrist.

And in the next moment she can smell something else. Reeking, sticking.

Red.

 

"Oi! Who are you? What were you doing inside that thing?!"

 

A lion.

Kind, and protective. And as his helmet falls she can see his hazel eyes stare back. She smiles when she reaches for his jaw.

 

_"You.."_

 

~*~

 

"Explain _this._ "

 

"I can't! I don't know what that is, or how it got there!"

"You're lying!"

The darker woman grabbed her then, ready to slap her right across her face. The elf made herself ready and glared, but before the lavette even came she was taken back by another, a hooded woman with red hair and pale skin.

"We need her Cassandra!" Here she turned back, observing the one on the floor. "Do you remember what happend? How this began?"  

"I remember.. Running. Things were chasing me and then.. A woman?"  
  
"A woman?" Her interrogator repeated.

"She reached out to me but then.. Ah I cannot.. It's all a blur."

"Go to the forward camp Leliana." The darkhared woman called Cassandra said to the other. "I will take care of the elf." Leliana nodded quickly and then exited the dungeon, leaving her with the other ward. Cassandra walked towards the prisoner crouched down and exhanged her chains with a rope instead.

"What _did_ happen?"

She tried to catch Cassandra's eyes, but all she got was furrowed brows. 

"It..Will be easier to show you."

                               

The light hit her eyes and she had to half shut them, but once she saw from where the light once had came they grew twice their size. An enormous green hole in the sky. In the middle of the hole a pillar with green light beamed down to the earth. Thunder orchastred in the sky, the sound jumped across the mountain tops around them, making it harder to hear when someone spoke.

"We call it 'the Breach'," Cassandra explained while walking forward as she angerly gazed towards he sky. "It's a massive Rift into the world of demons that grows larger with each passing hour."  

Here she turned around, watching for any sign of guilt on the other. "It's not the only such Rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave."

Her eyes grew yet again. "An explosion can do _that?_   "

" _This_ one did." Cassandra walked towards her. "Unless we act now, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world."

 

The both of them turnes as they heard a cracking sound.

The pillar of green light hummed with smaller lightening bolts. Cassandra instantly spun back as she heard the scream of her prisoner.

She had fallen to the ground, unable to keep her ballance by the sudden pain that went through her arm. The mark was humming with an overflowing energy as it kept trailing itself up alonside her arm, bit by bit.

Cassandra fell on her knee by her side. "Each time the Breach expands the mark spreads. And it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn't much time."

The other woman looked up with round eyes. "What do you mean, key? What do you intend to do?" 

"Closing the Breach." Cassandra answerd bluntly. Before the other managed to say something more she cut her off, "Wheter that's possible is something we shall discover shortly. "

The marked woman gazed upon the Breach and then down on her hand.

"Alright, let's go."

She jumped up on her feet and instantly nodded towards the large stone bridge. "Lead the way."

 

People observed her with both anger and fear in their eyes. She didn't blame them.

She was an outsider and they didn't know her.

They had walked outside the gates when Cassandra cut of the rope on her hands. The younger gave the older a quick nod as they jogged towards the Breach.

They didn't get far before an energy bolt from the Breach had fallen down upon them, destroying the bridge they were crossing in the process. They fell down to the frozen lake, but didn't have enough time to look for injuries.

Two demons had been transported with the Bolt and they were already approching. Cassandra yelled for her to get back while she engaged them both, yelling for their attention.

This could be the time to escape. But as she looked down on her hand she changed her opinion in an instant. The other demon saw her and quickly floated towards her. She spun around, unsure how to attack it before she spotted two daggers laying on the ground, which she sweeped up in one motion, and jumping on the nearest demon in the next.

Her mana felt strange. Like it was about to bubble over. The shade managed to slip past her, but she threw the dagger int it's back, causing it to fall. Pleased with the outcome she walked towards Cassandra who suddenly snapped and rose her sword.

"Drop the daggers, NOW!"

Both fell to the frozen ice with a loud klirr, when the other suddenly brought down her weapon.

 

"Wait.. I cannot protect you, and I cannot expect you to be defenseless.. "

She turned around while sheeting her sword making her way up the hill while the other went down and picked up her poor excuse pair of daggers.

"I should remember that you agreed to come willingly."

The other's head tilted up and looked into Cassandras eyes. She instantly blushed and quickly dove down her head again. "I just did what anyone with a sense should.. "She mumbled. The ward had heard her but didn't answer. 

 _No, you stayed offering  your aid while others would have paniced and run._  

 

They continued on their path, crossing several small frozen ponds before finding a stairwall taking them to higher ground. When she could hear the clinking of swords she instantly ran faster.

"I can hear someone fighting!"

Cassandra instantly snapped and rushed alongside her. "We're getting close to a Rift then! Hurry!"  
  
  
  
When they reached the top Cassandra pointed at a copmany with men, a dwarf and an bald elf. They were surrounded by several shades and wraiths. She took a deep breath and instantly dashed to their aid without a moment of haste, jumping in front of a shade that attacked the bald elf and cut it down with a single swing and jumped the to the dwarf.  She flew gracefully from enemy to enemy, while Cassandra and the men managed to offer defence for the elf and the dwarf.

 

When the enimies were gone she turned and saw the bald elf right in front of her as he grabbed hold of her wrist.

 

She stilled as soon as she saw his eyes.

 

She gapsed as she noticed the cleft in his chin.

His clothing were different now.

When she had met him the first time four years ago he had looked like a god or pherhaps something out of a fairytale, but now he was dressed in rags stitched together, along with an old witherd staff on his back.

 

But while she gawked, he snarled in irrittation as he threw her palm up and towards the green Rift.

"Quickly! Before more come through! "

As soon as it made contact she felt herself drifting. A pain of a different kind as she was being sucked out from her own shell. The other noticed and instantly caught her closer, holding her arm positioned steadily.

The rift seemed to collapse right in the air. As if it had been made from air it just vanished. She looked to the side and at the man holding her.

He didn't recgnise her?

"What did you do?" She gasped as she kept staring at her old saviour.

The man simply smiled and slowly let his hand leave hers. "I did nothing. The credit is yours." 

For one moment she frowned and looked down on her hand when reality settled back in. "You mean  _this_."

"Whatever magic opend the Breach in the sky also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized that the mark may be able to close the rifts opend in the Breaches wake- and it seems I was correct."

"Meaning it could also seal the Breach itself." Cassandra filled in as she took place next to her.

"Possibly." The other elf said as he looked on Cassandra with his eyes. Then they went over to her, as he observed her shape and face with a smile. "It seems you hold the key to our salvation." 

  
"Good to know! Here I thought we'd be ass-deep in demons forever."

  
The three of them turned and spotted the dwarf approach. "Varric Tethras. Rogue, storyteller and occasionally unwanted tagalong." Just as he said the last part he winked at Cassandra, who gave him a rather angry snort back.   
  
Confused she shifted on her feet. She had never really spoken or even seen any dwarf before. "Are you with the chantry or.." She didn't continue as the man on her right began to snicker. 

"Is that a serious question?"

She looked on the other, feeling her cheeks turn hot in embaressment, while the dwarf mostly ignored him. "Technically I'm a prisoner, just like you."

"I brought you here to share your story with the Devine. Clearly that is no longer nececcary." Cassandra surly added at her left.

"Yet, here I am! Lucky for you, concindering current events." The dwarf mutterd between clenched teeth.

She smiled as she brought her right hand forward for the other to grasp. "It is good to meet you, Varric."

"You may reconsider that stance, in time." The Elf added as Varric shook her hand.  

"Aww, I'm sure we'll become great friends in the valley, chuckles." Here he faked a heartbroken expression and let his hand wipe away an imaginary tear from his eye.

"Absolutely  _NOT!"_ Cassandra interrupted as she dashed in between and then sighed. "You're help is apprichiated Varric but --" 

"Have you been in the valley lately, Seeker? Your soldiers aren't in control anymore.  _You_.  _Need_.  _Me_."

The dwarf gave her a sinister smile and after a few seconds she fell back with yet another disgusted snort.

"My name is Solas," The elf said as he turned around to face her. "If there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see that you still live."

 _Solas, Pride. Fitting_ , she thought.

 

"He means ; I kept that mark from spreading while you slept." Varric filled in as he jokingly tapped her back. 

"You seem to know a great deal about it all."

"Solas is an apostate, well versed in these matters." Cassandra added.

"Technically all mages are apostates now, Cassandra." Solas corrected her. He then gave his attention back to her. "My travels have allowed me to learn much about the fade. Far beyond the experience of any circle mage." He looked a bit troubled as he caught his hips. "I came to offer whatever help I could give with the Breach. If it is not closed  we are all doomed, regardless of origin."  
  
She aprooved silently, but felt that there was more to it then that. No one was that sensible in her opinion.

"That is a commendible attitude." She said after a small consideration.  
  
"Meerly a sensible one. Although sense seem to come to a short supply right now." He turned to the other woman. "Cassandra, you should know the magic here is unlike any I ever have seen.."

He suddenly trailed off, looking at her weapons adn then up at her. "Your prisoner is no mage.. Indeed I find it difficult to imagine any mage have such power."

"Understood." Cassandra answered shortly. "We must get to the forward camp, quickly."

 

"You are Dalish, but clearly away from the rest of your clan." Solas asked as they set off. "Did they send you here?" 

She frowned slightly but then turned her head to the side so she could see him better. "What do you know of the Dalish? " It had been meant as cuiosity, but unfortunately he had taken her question as suspicion and continued.

"I have wandered many roads in my time, and crossed paths with your people on more than one occasion."  
  
  
_Your people_.    
  
  
  
He seemed irritated. 

"We are both of the same people, Solas."

He seemed to have a hard time embracing her words as he dove down his eyes. "The Dalish I've met felt.. Differently on the subject." 

She hastely turned to look back at him as she felt the confusion building up.

She had never thought less of the elves living in the cities. In fact most of them had been very hospitibal during her journey. She wished more of her clan members would be as open as them.  
  
Varric grunted as she was about to open her mouth. "Can't you elves just get along for once?"

She stared, but then turned back her head in embaressment. She agreed. This was a discussion for another time. She swallowed down a hard lump in her throat when she realized. 

  
If there even would _be_ another time.

 

She didn't have any chance to think even deeper about it though, for another wave came from the breach and the magic started to glow on her hand. This time she couldn't keep down a pained hiss as she felt the agony climb even further up on her limb. Her other arm instinctively grabbed her left, trying to hold it still as it fiercely trembled around.

"That.. Can't have been good.." Varric whisperd from far behind.

 _Wait, how could I hear that?_  

The others instantly ran up alongside her. While Solas grabbed her hand before she had the chance protest. His face nearly turned white as he looked up on Cassandra. "The mark is growing. We need to get to the Breach quickly. We do not have much time."  

Cassandra put one of her hands on her back, giving reassuring strokes. "I know it is difficult, but we must press on." Te Seeker looked at her with concern in her eyes that she hadn't expected from her. She on the other hand forced a smile on her lips, trying to avoid showing any weakness.

" Don't worry, I'll close it."

They quickend up their pace. They came up to the hill and found another Rift. Two soldiers guarding the gate to the forward camp yelled for help. She quickly launched herself in the direction of one of the shades. Cassandra drew attention from some of the others, while Varric and Solas supported them with arrows and ice. This made it possible for her to jump back and fourth between the enemies, driving them into confusion. Solas eyes would from time to time follow her as she jumped back and forth across the hills.

_She really is something else. Even in her own destruction she would stagger forward, helping whoever she can without any doubt or question._

Solas felt a knot in his abdomen tighten as she dropped to one of her knees, shuddering but then went up again. She had done nothing to deserve her treatment and even when she was accused of his crime, she helped doing what's right.

As the Rift closed she turned around, panting out. "Let's go!" 

Solas eyes grew when he saw how the mark had spread even further, it now colord parts of her chest and her throat.

While she walked first through the gate the rest of them exchanged worried looks behind her back.  
                       

 

 

"Closing the Breach is the most important issue for the moment. Let us focus on that first."

 

" _You_ brought this on us in the first place!"

Cassandra, Leliana and the Chancellor by the name of Roderick started to yell at each others throats again, arguing of wich path would be quicker to the Breach. They didn#t stop until her arm suddenly her begun to glow again.

Cassandra saw her pupils shrink and she felt pain in her chest just as if the mark had been on her own hand. And so she caught the elf's shouder and caught her attention back.

"How do you think we should proceed with this?"

The elf suddenly growled with a whole lot deeper voice. "Now you're asking me what _I_ think?"

Solas tapped her back, gently.

" _You_ have the mark."

"And you're the one we must keep alive." Cassandra filled in. "And since we can't agree on our own.."  

After looking back and forth across the bridge the elf with the marked hand stared down on her own two feet. "The Mountain path. I don't think I can.."

Cassandra had frowned at first, but when she saw the arm twitch her brows rose. Her eyes quickly ventured over to Solas who nodded and then took the elfs arm over his shoulder. She launched up her head with gritted teeth in an instant.

"I can walk on my own!"

"We won't be able to rest. It's alright. I'll help you."

His eyes were harsh but his tone soft as he looked down on her from above, whispering like a father to a daughter. She finally gave in, allowing him to rest his arm around her waist. "Ma serannas.." She sighed and she could feel him stiffen up slightly.

 

"Be it on your conscious if you fail, Seeker."

  
She instantly escaped Solas grasp, turned around and closed in to the man who had damned the Seeker His face became white as she gave him a hard, unforgiving stare and lifted her unmarked hand in threatening pose. 

"This decision was mine. Do not blame the Seeker for something she never did. At least she stood her ground and helped, while you did nothing!"

She turned back and walked towards Solas who still held out his arm. She brushed him off and walked passed him, ignoring the stares and the rant from the Chancellor far behind them.

 

"That is Commander Cullen and his men." Cassandra pointed down as soon as they made it outside the mines they had travelled through. There was a battle in front of the temple. "If they are going to have a chance we need to get going!"

Afterwards they would reaize an direct assault might have been easier than the whole climb. Not only did they encounter more monsters, but Rifts as well. Some of the soldiers who had vanished still fought for their lives. As they fled back the marked elf stared down on a large, burning ruin further down.

 

"The temple of sacred ashes." Solas stated as soon as he stepped to her side.

"What's left of it.." Varric grunted.

The hill was incredible steep and it took her all amount of the power in her legs to keep her straight. The ground looked like it was made from black sand. Rocks glimmered green and black all around. And highest, right up above their heads they could glare directly into the Breache's eye.

Cassandra slowly pointed at a black ring on the ground right before a cracked wall. "That is where you walked out of the fade and where Commander Cullen found you. His men said a woman was in the Rift behind you. No one knows who she was."

She looked at the ring and felt a headahce march.

"Was she golden?" She asked. Cassandra frowned.

"Golden?"

"..Banal." She whispered as she continued in with a head filled of questions.

Varric kept starng up at the broken ceiling as they entered. "The Breach is a loong way up.."

They met up with Leliana and some men with bows as they observed a Rift, bigger then the ones they had seen earlier. It was connected to the green pillar that they had seen beaming from the Breach in the sky. Cassandra ordered them to take a defensive position and be ready to attack.

"This is your chance to end this, are you ready?"

"I am, but I don't know if I can reach the Breach, much lesser close it."  
  
"No," Solas said as he grasped her shoulder and pointed at a Rift located under the pillar. " _That_  Rift was the first and it is the key." He didn't take notice on how she kept staring at him from the side because of his statement. "Close it, and perhaps it seals the Breach."

 

As they ventured through the temple they saw giant formations of red stones growing from the shattered floor and walls. She kept wondering why Varric seemed so disturbed by the view.

She felt as well. It was as if it reeked. She quickly let her arm cover her mouth as she had trouble breathing inside the room.

"You do know this is Red Lyrium, Seeker." Varric asked at the side.

"I see it, Varric." 

"But what it's  _doing_  here?" 

"Magic could have brought it from deep within the temple, corrupted it." Solas suggested with a humm as he looked around.

"Ah, It's evil! Whatever you do-- " Here he caught her hand from let her fingers close in on of the formations. "Don't touch it."

 

" **Keep the Sacrifice still.** "

The four of them stopped as they heard the voice.

"What was that?" Cassandra asked her while she caught her head with her hands.

She had heard that voice. Somewhere.

_"Someone! Help me!"_

 

"That was devine Justinia!" Cassandra cried as she hurried down.

Solas hummed with an astonished voice as he observed the halls. "Echoes of what happend here, the Fade bleeds into this place."

Just as they had reached the center they heard her scream. But not from herself, but the eccho dancing around the hall.

 

_"What's going on here?"_

 

Cassandra had already taken a hard hold around her throat. Solas tried to interweine together with Varric but she kept her grip steady.

"You WHERE there! Tell me what happend!"

She gnawed her teeth together as she felt a fire in her lunges. "I don't remember!" 

Cassandra let go, but not without pushing her back. She remained silent while Varric trotted over to her side, giving her arm a small squeeze.

"..Don't worry, Varric. Her anger is understandable."

"Still doesn't mean that you should suffer for it." She finally looked down on the dwarf and offored him a weak smile, then looked up. Solas observed her from the side, raising his brow.

 

She nodded. 

_Go on._

  
"This rift is not sealed, but it is closed... Albeit temporarily." Solas now turned to Cassandra who still with aching teeth. "I belive that with the mark, the Rift can be opend and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side."

"That mean Demons! Stand ready!" Cassandra yelled as she rose her sword. Varric threw her a bottle with water that she quickly devoured.

  
Cassandra and her warriors placed themselves in a tight line a couple of meters away from the rift, preparing to charge, while Leliana and the rest of the bowmen jumped to higher ground, ready to support with arrows. Ithilwen stood in the middle, waiting for Cassandras signal to open the rift. Solas and Varric stood close behind her, ready to shoot first in case an enemy would engage her.

She saw Cassandra nod and rose her arm unwilling at first.

Again the tugging pain, the constant nagging fright entered her as she felt as she was about to loose herself. Everything became quiet as the Rift glowed even more brightly. 

First when themonsterous hand grabbed the edge of the Rift, pulling itself forward through people began to scream. It stood there then, mighty and proud. A fearsome laughter echoed through his throat and into the room and he grew. Literally. It was a pride demon, unlike anything she had ever seen. It gazed down with its many eyes.

  
"NOW!"

 

Cassandras command had barely woken her up from her frozen state before she managed to escape his flash. She blinked once, twice. Then she rolled under it, cutting it's thighs in the process. it stumbled forward, grunting , but quickly regained it's ballance. The giant turned around slowly, trying to aim a slash for her. She easily avoided it by jumping to the left. Leliana's bowmen kept shooting arrows in it's back, causing it to turn for them instead.

She took her chance and rose her arm, filling the Rift more with the marks power.

It caused it to explode and the demon fell to it's knees, lost in it's blur. She jumped up on it's back, dipping her daggers in the flesh where the head and neck meet several times before it tried to launch her off. She grabbed it by the shoulder and glided along it's arm down, landing on the ground without effort.

A shade had sneaked up on her and gave her a big slash across her back with it's claws. She hissed at the pain and jumped back. The pride demon was going for her as well. She avoided the lightening chain and the shade while Leliana and Varric engaged the pride demon, making a path for for her that she instantly used. More shades poured through and she had a hard time to stay awake, for blood flooded her back.

She gave one last attempt by throwing herself at the pride demon, climbing up by using arrows in it's back. It swirled around in circles, but she kept her pace, taking one step at a time.

When she reached it's head she rose and cut several times where she had attacked before. It's black blood spurted from the wound and the beast started to stumble. One last attempt, and she drove her dagger the whole way through the neck and dragged it from the inside to the edge. When the giant monster fell She held onto it's head and tossed herself at the side when landing.

 She rolled around for a bit but got to her knees quickly. The Rift started to glow differently. She made her way to it and threw her hand up in the air, intending to close it. However a wave from the Breach made the mark spread again.

She yelled at the pain but continued to hold her hand in the air as she saw it slim closer and closer together. She finally fell when a  wave of energy pushed her back a few meters.

She collapsed as she met the wall, hitting her head so hard that everything became two shapes. She could hear people aploud, laugh and cry while she started to doze off, feeling life fleeting from her. The last thing she saw was the pillar disappear up in the air.

But the Breach, the Breach remained just the same.

 

_I FAILED._

_Fenadis.._

 


	3. Herald

Cold--No warm.

_Hot_

 

It felt as if something as hot as fire had claimed it. Her whole left side of her body was even hotter then her right one. Weak and confused she felt her eyes flutter. And as soon as they began to squint she felt how the cold light stinged. Especially her left eye. It felt even more sensitive. Such as light and how the colours were more vibrant than ever before.

First when she heard a quick gasp and the clirr of a bottle braking against the floor her eyes would open up complealtly.

And as her gaze roamed the room she noticed something else.

The sticking sensation of elfroot in her nostrils.

 

The one who had fragnanced the room looked up from her lower position on the floor, gasping with a wide smile. "You're awake!"

 

But as the other rose up on her elbows in the bed the guest's expression quickly changed from one of curiosity to fear.

"Is something the matter?" The elf in the bed asked. The other didn't answer, just started to walk backwards, slowly with a white face. When she tried to reach out to reassure the stranger elf that that there was nothing to be afraid she turned and flew out of the room, shouting in fear

"Demon! There's a demon in the Heralds cottage!"

The girl resting in the bed snapped at this and instantly took an observation to the room. But just as her feet found the floor she felt the effect of gravity pull her down to the ground again. The rush with adrenalin had made her even more dizzy and her eye as well as her whole left side of her body screamed in pain.

Especially the hand.

Throbbing.

Gnawing.

And when she  heard men scream from the other door she fell in utter panic. Afraid, dizzy and unarmed she would stand no chance against the monster that the other elf had screamed about. Desperate she slowly started to crawl against the door and the only escape. When the three men in soldier attires threw opend the door and placed themselves over her she instantly let out a sigh in releif.

 

But just as she reached out her hand one of the men aimed for her with his blade.

Her releived expression was instantly replaced with shock as she fell back on her elbows. The sword flew down towards her, but she managed to dodge it just in time. The man grunted as his sword got stuck in the floorboards, while the other two went after her on the side. She avoided them as best as she could, throwing herself back and forth all over the room until one of them managed to slash her arm, sending her into the corner. She held her arm and stared at the soldier, not finding the words to scream for mercy.

 _This is it._ _Sadron!_ _Solas!_

And as she saw him rise his blade above her she closed her eyes and held tightly around her ears, afraid and ashamed of her death.

She felt weak and pathetic. She could even hear the disaprooval of her father inside her head as she felt the change in the air when the sword leaped against her.

But it never came. Instead she felt strong, gloved hands on her shoulders, shaking her. After a few seconds she pried open her eyes slowly and a familliar pair met hers, filled with concern.

 

The man before her had blonde curles, honeycolord eyes and astonishingly enough a thin liniar scar upon his upper lip.

She stared. Blinked, then stared again.

He wore a different outfit now, just as Solas had done. A simple plate armor, but with a red fur across his shoulders. He seemed to talk with her, for his lips were moving, because she had yet to remove the hands that she still held tightly against her ears.

"Herald. **HERALD**!"

His hands took hold of hers, removing them.

And when she heard his voice, she knew.

 

It was him.

 

The templar she had met in the woods outside of Kirkwall.

 

He looked at her, for quite some time before he turned to one of the soldiers.

"Bring the Apostate.. Solas? I don't think she's compleatly awake yet."

"Wha..I.. Where am I?"

He turned back, suddenly smiling with a crooked and releived smile. "Ignore that, Jim." He once again caught her shoulders, bringing warmth to them. "You're back in Haven, lady Herald."

"Haven?" She repeated, but then quickly looked up as she felt the hair in her neck rise and caught his his collar. "And what of the--"

"The Breach has been sealed, for the moment." He assured her with a calm tone and understanding gaze. "But we are safe."

She let out a deep sigh, closing her eyes and frowned as she took hold of the necklace around her neck.

"I hate to tell you this, Herald, for I know that you still need your rest. But you need to speak with Seeker Pentaghast. At once."

She once more opened her eye to look back at the man before her. "Who?"

The templars brows furrowed in confusion. "Seeker Cassandra Pentaghast? You met earlier whe--"

"Yes, now I remember." Another breath escaped her. Cassandra never really did introduced herself after all. "Alright. Where is she?"

"In the chantry. Don't worry, I will escort you."

"Escort me..?"

 

As soon as she stepped outside she understood what the man in her company had meant by escort.

 

People had heard of her awakening and stood close to her door, hoping to get a glipse of her. Why she couldn't figure. The Templar took notice of her hesitation and gently let his arm take hers as they began their walk through the silent and gasping crowd. They parted, slowly as the man holding her arm guided her all the way to the chantry. She continuinsly kept tripping on her own feet because of the blanket over her head. 

"There she is!" One of them in the crowd said with an astonished tone as she passed a certain gathering by one of the small stairways along the way up. "That's the Herald of Andraste!"

Suddenly confused she clinged even closer to the templars side as she heard that. She saw him lookdown through the small gap between the blanket and the outside as he smiled.

"Don't worry. I won't allow them to choke you."

At first she stared at him in fear, when she realised it had been meant as a joke. She tried a onesided grin, but it didn't really work. He resumed to look forward as they walked up the rest of the way to the large chantry building that she only had seen a few times since her arrival.

 

He didn't recognize her.

 

Of course he didn't. She had aged and she wore different clothes. Not to mention that she had recieved har Vallaslin.

 _Maybe it's for the best._ She thought as he opened the large green door to the chantry. It would certainly only make things awkward for the future.

Just as the they entered he let the blanked he had draped over her fall to the side. For a moment he observed her with a strange expression. But that was exhanged with a frown as soon as they both heard the bickering between Cassandra and Chancellor Roderic fom the end of the hall.

"How long have they been arguing?"

"For three days, Lady Herald." The Templar answered. "Don't worry. He's not worth getting irritated over." Here he twitched when he saw her arm. "Who did this?"

She instantly looked back on her arm that looked just like before. "What.. Oh. No, it's just a scratch."

The Templar sighed. "I should have him courtmarsheled for this."

"Don't worry, sir!" She hurried to say as she grabbed onto his arm. "We all makes mistakes. It wasn't his or the young girls fault."

He observed her for a moment more, but then gave her a strong smile. "Not everyone."

When she started to feel her cheeks turn hot he let out a small cough, rubbing his neck. "I mean--It doesn't seem to be serious, but I advice you to let a healer take a look at it. Once your meeting is concluded, that is." Before he managed to say anything else he turned as he heard one of his reqruits calling for him.

"I will leave you to your business, lady Herald."

There it was again.

Herald.

What did it mean?

The Templar bowed politely, turned on his heel and walked through the door. She stood there for a while more, observing her saviour as he talked with the soldier. He wasn't the same as the man she had met in the forest all those years ago. He seemed a little bit different.

Happier in a way.

 

Litte did she notice how he turned and looked after her as she walked towards the chamber in the other end.

 

_"The elf failed, Seeker!"_

 She could hear them through the door. Roderic didn't exaktly help her confidence and did spoil her rather good mood, but she had to speak with them. She couldn't run from this. And so she knocked on the door and awaited it to open.

One of the guards that had been inside opened it, immediately recognizing her and made way for her, letting her step inside

"Ma serannas." She told the guard as he allowed her passage. He nodded back after a moment, but kept his eyes on her even as she had walked passed him and as he took his station.   
  
"SEIZE HER!" Roderic yelled as soon she had enterd the room. "I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial!"   
  
"Disregard that," Cassandra growled to the guard who was about to unsheath his sword. "And leave us."  
  
The two guards raised their hands to their hearts, turned around and exited. The guard that had let her through turned around one last time when he closed the door, eyeing her without anyone really noticing it.

  
  
"You walk a dangerous line, Seeker." Roderic snarled after a short paus. Cassandra meerly ignored him and looked at the new parcitipent of their meeting.  
  
"The Breach is stable, but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it."

"And _you_ live." Roderic grunted as he stared down on the elf. "A convenient situation for you, unlike for the others that had to pay the price."

"Someone was behind the explosion at the conclave." Leliana who she never even had seen inside the room said as she stepped out from the darkest corner. "Someone most holy did not expect. Perhaps they died with the others--Or have allies who yet live."

Roderic looked as if he was ready to explode himself. He was that red in his face when the hooded woman came with her accusation. " _I_ am a suspect?!" 

" _You_ and many others!" Leliana spit back in anger.  
  
This time Roderic screamed as he pointed towards the other end of the table. " _She_  is standing right over there there!  _That_ mark is proof enough!"  
  
"Which she used to help us seal the Rifts." Cassandra interrupted wtih her arms crossed above her chest. "I heard the voices at the temple. The Divine called for her to help."  
  
"So her survival, that  _thing_  on her hand-- All a coincidence? "  
  
Cassandra ignored him, only looked at her this time. "Providence. The maker sent her to us in our darkest hour."

"Are you really sure?" The 'Herald' asked the Seeker with low brows. "Why would even your Maker send someone like me? I am an Dalish elf."   
  
"So? Humans are not the only ones doing the makers favour." The Seeker asnsered while the other stared back with her brows twitching. She didn't know if she was going to laugh or cry. This was truly unbelievable. They had gone mad. All of them.  
  
"The Breach remains and your mark is our only hope of closing it." Leliana said as she caught her right shoulder. "Surely you can understa--"   
  
"This is not for you to decide! " Roderic yelled while waving his hands in a disliking posture.

 

A sudden bash woke them up from the heated discussion. Because there on the table Cassandra had thrown a thick worn old book with the emblem of an eye, pierced by a flaming sword.

"You know what this is, chancellor. The writ for the Divine, granting us the authority to act." 

 Cassandra stood proud and tall as she nearly shouted inside the small chamber, staring at Leliana and the rest alike.

 

"As of this moment I declare the Inquisition reborn!"

  
  
Cassandras eyes glowed vibrantly as she made her way around the table and towards Roderic who began to walk backwards instead. 

"We will close the breach, we will find those responsible and we will restore order. With or without your approval. "  
  
The man looked back at the elf one last time, grunting as he passed by her

 

"How fitting that a  _abomination_ should be the Herald for a heretical organization."

He left, banging the door in his exit.  
  
"This is the Devine's directive : rebuild the Inquisition of old, find those who will stand against the chaos." Leliana sighed as she looked over the book that Cassandra had placed on the great table. "We aren't ready. We have no leader, no numbers and now no chantry support."  
  
"But we have no choice: We must act now.." The Seeker said as she turned her head, facing the elf. "With you at our side." Here Cassandra reached out her hand. "Help us close the Breach."

She looked down on the hand for quite some time.

If she accepted, if she said yes she would need to stay. She would not be able to return for quite some time. But as she looked down on her own left hand she saw something else.

If she didn't accept she risked dying.

  
  
And so she looked back on the Seeker and took her hand.

 

 ~*~

 

"You might want to look yourself in a mirror, Herald."

 

It took her a moment before she even had realized it was her Cassandra had meant. As she looked up both Cassandra and Leliana looked at her with worried expressions colouring their faces. Her brows instantly deepened as she looked on the mirror that the Seeker held in her hand-

"Why? Is there something wrong with my face?" 

"This might come as a suprise.." The Seeker uttered with an hushed tone as she held the mirror in front of her. She stiffened up as she did and instantly grabbed the thin peice off glass, only to have it thrown to the floor, breaking it to a million peices.

 

She did nearly not even recognise the girl staring back on her.

 

All her life she had only the water of the streams and lakes to look back at. But now, even more clear the image staring back with horried eyes looked alien to her.

Because just as her left hand glowed, her left eye glowed.

Her left eye, her _hurting_ eye was different from how it used to be. The thin, lizzered like and sharp pupil along with the Rift-green Iris didn't belong to her. It belonged to the mark. And it had begun to settle, to transform her.

Suddenly pieces started to fall into place. Why the elf at the cottage had called her a demon, the templar had covered her face. Why the chancellor had called her a abomination.

She was a monster, just as those she had fought.  
  
"What did the mark  _do_ to me?"   
  
"We do not know.. It happend when you closed the Rift under the Breach. Solas thought that may have been too much at the time."   
  
"How am I supposed to be able to help now? I look like a monster!" She whispered as she hooked her eyes on the millions of copies scattered on the floor stared back on her. "I won't ever be able to show up in public ever again."   
  
Cassandra instantly let her hand catch her shoulder as she looked towards the other. "Leliana, fetch Solas. Bring him here."

 

~*~

"Oh shit, what  _happend_ to you?"  

 

Varric could never really be taken by suprise, but this certanily hit him wrong.

He instantly covered his mouth, wishing he had remained quiet. He wanted to look like this was nothing, for he could tell from the way her fists had grabbed the stockings on her legs that she was at the edge of a panic attack.  
  
But she had already seen it.  She kept her mouth shut, staring forward with a clenched jaw.  
  
"This certanily is strange.." Solas murmured while examening her face. She was instantly reminded of another time as he had been this close.

The time when he had healed her from her injuries in the woods, so very long ago.

She hoped that he would be able to remove the monster within her now too.

 

His long slender fingers slowly traced her her cheek and skin under her transformed eye.

"Do you feel any different?"

  
"There is.. I have better vision on my left eye." Her left hand reached her face out of instinct and came in contact with Solas hand. They exhanged looks only for a short moment, but it was enough to make her blush. Her hand instantly fell back to her side again.  
  
Solas chuckled inside his mind.

She certainly was a sweet child and shy for such a radiant warrior. But he came to his senses when he saw how devastated she looked. His mood dropped, for it was his fault to begin with.   
  
_A sweet child, indeed. One that does not deserve this kind gruesome fate and responsibility._  
  
"I may not be able to reverse the effect, but I could place an illusion on your eye, making it look like it used to before."  
  
"But it would not be restored?" She sighed with a troubled voice.   
  
Cassandra snapped her back as she placed her hand on her shoulder, squeezing it softly.   
  
  
_Should he continue?_  
  
  
She turned and looked back at Solas "Do it."   
  
Solas eyed her shortly for one moment more before he slowly let go of her face, grabbed a chair that had been close and placed himself before her. His hands rose to the sides of her face and right beneith her sockets. "This will not hurt. Just be still."

His right hand slowly moved over to her front as it steadily closed in to her left eye. Out of reflex she wanted to blink for the vision of his closing finger felt rather uncomfortable.  
  
"Hamin, dal'en.." He whisperd and she took a deep breath and felt her tense back and limbs relax. It stinged as soon as his indexfinger came in contact with the surface of her eye. Some sort of green fluid filled the socket and then it went dry. Solas looked on the floor and the broken peices, then turned and went inside one of his pockets, revealing a thin shard of glass and held it before her face.  
  
"It will not last, just as with any illusion spell. But it should suffice untill we find out more about it."  
  
She blinked several times and even moved her face in different angels and even tried to make sure she was awake by pinching her cheek. Then she gasped with a releived smile.

Her eye had returned to it's old shape and colour. The pain still lingered, but she looked like herself again.

 

Before Solas knew what had happened she had grabbed hold of his free hand and squeezed hard when her head fell low.  

"Ma melava halani. Ma serannas ma falon."

  
His eyes, slowly and steadily grew twice their size as she let go of his hand.

 

She isn't a mage. And yet there she were.

He had thought that the girl looked familiar.

But to think that she was one he had met when had woken all those years back had never even crossed his mind.

She had grown.

The child he has remembered had become a woman. And her face, even though it carried the wretched vallaslin looked beautiful. Solas stayed quiet and shocked for a few moments before he found himself again, regaining his cool temper.

 

She would be dangerous.

  
Cassandra and Varric remained clueless around the whole ordeal. Unsure who to talk with as she flew up from the chair and ran outside. Instead, they simply exhanged worried looks, then looked at Solas, who still was placed on the chair lost in his thoughts.

 

  
~*~

 

" **I wish to be rid of it**!" 

  
  
At first Cassandra stared from the outbreak. It had been a simple question and she had turned into a whole new person right in front of her.

She looked worn, tired and the sockets under her eyes had become darker since the day before.

 

"We have need of it yet." Cassandra said with an indifferent tone as she looked her over.

"So you mentioned." The elf responded dryly as her eyes glared forward.   
  
"What's important is that your mark is now stable, as is the Breach." When she looked away the Seeker squeezed her shoulder, gaining her attention once more. "You've given us time and Solas belive that a second attemt might succeed--Provided that the mark has more power. The same level of power used to open the Breach in the first place. That is not easy to come by."  
  
Her face slowly softend and she sighed.  "What harm could there be using something we hardly know anything about?"   
  
Cassandra smiled because she had taken her dry response as a joke. "Keep yourself to that sense of humor. We may need it." Here she let go of her shoulder and opened the door, letting them both inside. "You have the mark and should be part of every decision we make."

She frowned as she let her hands fall to her hips. "I don't have any mlilitary experience."

"But you have a sense for tact and responsibillity. You'll learn along the way."

 

"I agree with Seeker Penthagast."

 

She turned when she heard the man she had recognised from before.

The Templar stood with his hands resting agains the pommel of his sword, sheated in a belt at his side. Cassandra gave him a quick nod and then gestured towards him.

"May I present Cullen Rutherford, commander of the Inquisition's forces."

"Herald." He nodded with a small smile. She looked him over for a short moment and then gave him little nod back.

 

He was the man that had saved her from temple a few days ago, then. The one who had found her as she walked outside the Rift.

 _How ironic._ She thought as she silently observed his features. 

She had been thinking about him. About his smile ever since they met in the woods. It had been hard to do anything else for quite some time. Even as she had ventured back to the same spot the only proof left was the dried up blood in the grass.

Eventually the fantasies of him had died out. Only to be reawakened now.

 

_"I love you."_

 

Her face instantly burned as she heard his words inside her head.

She had made a promise, long ago. Even if she didn't want it.

 

  
  
"Andaran atishan."

 

Startled she looked up as she heard another woman inside the room, taking notice of her enormous golden dress with wide sleeves and ribbons. She smelled incredibly sweet and her hair was well adjourned.

"You speak elvhen?"  
  
"That is the entirely of it, I'm afraid." The Ambassador chukled back. 

"This is lady Josephine Montilyet, our ambassodor and cheif diplomat." Cassandra smiled and then looked to the side. "And of course you know sister Leliana."   
  
Leliana made a small nod towards her. "My position here invlolves a degree of--"  
  
"She is our spymaster."  
  
"Yes, tactfully put, Cassandra," Leliana gave the Seeker a glare, wich she ignored. Silence now fell over the room. The advisors then looked at the Herald, who seemed to have her mind somewhere else.   
  
She stood there lost in thought for a moment, still thinking about the man in front of her untill she heard Cassandra make a small cough.   
  
"Ah--uh, nice to meet you all." She bowed her upper body as an apology. "And if I may intoduce myself as Ithilwen, First of clan Lavellan."

 

The four other people in the room instantly dropped their mouths.

"First? You're a mage?" Leliana asked with a deep frown.  
  
"I apologize for the deception. But I did not dare to reveal it at first in fear of getting beheaded." The rest of them hummed as she continued. "Now that were supposed to work together I see no benefit in hiding it."   
  
"This changes matters compleatly. " Cassandra sighed as she caught her head. "Not only is the Herald a Dalish elf, she's a mage too."  
  
"Then maybe we should keep it hidden?" Leliana suggested from the side. "So far you've been able to hide your magic without any risk of exposion."  
  
"No," Cullen interrupted as he let his hand fall to the table. "It would only harm us in the long run. Better to display that card now rather then having it used against us later."  
  
"We could use it to our advantage, actually." Josephine smiled at the side.  
  
"Hmm, true," Cassandra hummed. "I  _did_ mention earlier that the mark needs more power in order to seal it for good."  
  
"Which means we must aproch the rebel mages for help." Leliana sighed.

" I still disagree," Cullen sighed. ",templars could serve just as well."   
  
"We need power, commander. Enough power poured into the mark--"

  
  
"Might destroy us all!" The commander growled as his hands banged against the table. Ithilwen froze up a little as she saw the vein in his neck pulsate.

" Templars could supress the breach, weakening it so-- "  
  
"Pure speculation." The spymaster snorted.  
  
" _I_ was a templar. I know what we are cabable off."  
  
"Unfortunately neither group will even speak with us yet." Josephine reminded them and then turned back her focus on Ithilwen who stood with her hands folded behind her back. "The chantry has denounced the Inquisition, and you specifically."  
  
"They still think I'm guilty." She sighed.  
  
"Some are calling you, a dalish elf, the Herald of Andraste. That frightens the chantry. The remaining clerics have declared it blasmephy and us herritics for harboring you."  
  
"Chancellor Roderics doing, no doubt." Cassandra muttered with a thin lips.  
  
"--It limits your options." Josephine continued. "Approaching the mages or templars for help is currently out of the questions." Josephine was about to continue but was interrupted by Ithilwen.  
  
"Wait, wait! What do you mean they call me the Herald of Andraste?"

"People saw what you did at the temple," Cassandra sighed. "How you stopped the Breach from growing. They have also heard about the woman seen in the Rift when we first found you. they belive that was Andraste."  
  
"Even if we tried to stop that wiew from spreading-- " Leliana started.  
  
"--Which we have not. " Cassandra finished.

Leliana glared back at her for a long time but then turned back to Ithilwen again. "The point is ;  _everyone_ is talking about  _you_."  
  
"It's quite a title, isn't it? How do you feel about it?" Cullen asked with a crooked smile.  
  
"I am  _not_ chosen by anything! I was at the wrong place at the wrong time." She snarled in an instant. Cullen laughed.    
  
"And I am certain the chantry would agree with you."  
  
"People are desperate for a sign of hope. For some, that is you." Leliana said as she gave her a soft smile.   
  
"And to others a symbol of everything that has went wrong." Josephine hummed as she wrote on a phargament on her wooden board.

"So if I wasn't with the inquisition.."

Ithilwen didn't think her confidence could hit rock bottom, but it just had. She would certainly be hunted by glorified clerks and Andaste fanatics for the rest of her life.  
  
"Eh, let's be honest." Cullen snorted with a smile. "The Chantry would have banned us even so."  
  
"And not having you with us is not an option." Cassandra added.  
  
  
"There is something you can do." Leliana let out with a brighter tone after a moment of silence. "A chantry cleric by the name Mother Giselle has asked to speak with you. She is not far and knows those involved far better than I. Her assistance would be invaluable."

  
  
"Alright, I and a small group will prepare for departure tomorrow morning and talk with this Mother." 

 

Ithilwen felt her confidence bubble, but it was quikly replaced with fear. She had barely walked outside when a couple of priests came running. Just as she was about to back away they caught her in the arms, all five of them talking at the same time. Luckely for her, Cullen was comming for her aid just in time.   
  
"Sisters, please. The Herald is quite weary from our meeting."  
  
They went away, eagerly talking between themselves, looking back from time to time. Ithilwen took the time to breathe and sighed. "Ma Serannas, Commander." She instantly looked up as she felt his hand on her shoulder .  
  
"I'm-- I mean we are here to protect you, lady Herald. Do not be afraid to ask for anything."

He was about to leave when he felt her hand grab his wrist. He stopped and turned around with a polite nod.  
  
"Yes?"

Ithilwen instantly blushed and let her hand lose his wrist. She wished she hadn't stopped him. After a moment, fumbeling with her hands she looked up. He remained just as before with the smile covering his features.  
  
"Please do not call me Herald, at least call me by my name."  
  
"I uh.." He sturred for a moment. "Ithi-- Lady lavellan."

She couldn't help but to feel the dissapointment show, but quickly let her smile take over. "Ma Serannas, Commander Rutherford. I was thinking.. Are you busy or.. Do you have time to talk?"  
  
The commander's smile faded. "I apoligize, but I have a meeting I need to get to."  
  
She instantly flushed and pushed him a little forward. "Of course! Do not let me keep you! Dareth shiral." She had turned walked away for a bit, only to turn back after a few steps and walked back to a very confused Commander.  
  
"I uh, I.. I.." She swallowed. "I wanted to thank you for resquing me. At the temple. And this morning. And just now.." She looked at him, directly in the eyes this time.   
  
His cheeks turned a little bit red."I, of course."  
  
Once again silence filled around them and the two of them must have been standing there for quite some time, because both jumped high as a boy rushed forth and gasped for air as he held his knees.

"Commander! Rylan was asking for you!"  
  
"I'm sorry for taking up your time! good day, Commander."  
  
Cullen stood there for a moment, deep in thoughts as he observed her walk down towards the inn. The recruit left him the report. Cullen never really looked at him, just took it in his hand while staring at the shape that slowly vanished down the hill.  
  
  
 "Good day, Lady Lavellan.."

 

 

"The hero of Andraste, a blessed hero sent to save us all."

 

Ithilwen turned with irritation prickeling her brain. She had thought him of all people not to be devout.

Solas could clearly see how that bugged her, but kept the smile just the same. He was leaning against a wooden wall of a small house. She joined his side, but kept her eyes gazing at the view over the village and as the sun settled above the treeline.   
  
"Am I riding in on a shining steed?" She asked with a sour tone.

Solas didn't let that disencourage his amusement and smiled big as he observed her profile. "I would have suggested a griffon. But sadly, they're extinct. Joke as you will, posturing is necessary."   
  
He slowly walked forward, placed himself next to her, admiring the view with her. "I've journeyed deep into the fade in ancient ruins and battlefields to see the dreams of lost civilizations. I've watched hosts of spirits clash to reenact the bloody past in ancient wars both famous and forgotten." Here he observed her face even deeper as she looked around and back at him. 

"Every great war has its heroes. I'm just curious what kind you'll be."

"Ma'banal ghilana shem hanin, Solas."

 

He looked at her with amusement. "I see. Then why do you think you're here?"

"Not as a prophet." She sighed and caught her face with her hands. "These people expects some sort of miracle. Fenadis. I cannot grant them that."

"Think like that and you're already lost." Solas whispered, in which she turned up. 

"I'm not lost. I'm just telling them the truth. I joined because I'm--" Here she stopped in her tracks and looked down on her hand.

"Because the mark is needed."

"That cannot be the only reason." Solas stated as he observed her hand fall. "Why go all the way from the Free Marches if not in search of adventure?"

"And I suppose that's why you visited that temple." She asked with her head going to the side. "Your sense of adventure."  
  
"Among many things." Solas smiled. "As a mage you would know how any building strong enough to withstand the rigors of time has a history. How every battlefield is steeped in death. How both attract spirits. They press against the veil, weakening the barrier between our worlds. When I dream in such places, I go deep into the fade. I can find memories no other living being has ever seen. "  
  
"What we saw wasn't the old temple, however." Ithilwen stated by his side. "You used your skills to transfer us somewhere else. Did something horrible happen there?" 

Solas looked at the girl besides him.

The truth was far uglier than what she had suggested, but went along with her version either way. "I figured you didn't need more violence at the time."   
  
She looked back at him and after short moment of silence she spoke again. "You are correct. Ma serannas, I needed that." She then looked over the village as the sun just waved goodbye and gave way for the stars on the pink sky.

"I never heard of someone going that deep into the Beyond before. It must be amazing."  
  
Solas eyes smiled a little. "Thank you. It's not a common field of study, for obvious reasons. Not so flashy as throwing fire or ice." His mouth went up in an even wider smile, "The thrill of finding remnants of a thousand-year old dream? I would not trade it for anything."

  
She nodded, silently. They stood so for quite some time.  
  
  
"I will stay then. At least untill the Breach has been closed."   
  
"Was that in doubt?" She asked with curiosity.

"I am an apostate mage surrounded by chantry forces and unlike you, I do not have a devine mark protecting me."  Solas calmed down, took a breath and looked back at the setting sun once more. "Cassandra has been accommodating, but you understand my caution."  
  
Ithilwen looked back at the sun as well. "You came here to help, Solas. I won't let them use that against you."

"And how would you stop them?" He asked with his brows frowning.  
  
"However I had too."   
  
Solas stared, suprised but pleased none the less. "I..Thank you."  He began to rush his words, wanting to end the conversation. He turned around, wanting the light in his back when he felt  heat upon his cheeks. "For now, let us hope the mages or the templars have the power to seal the Breach."  
  
Ithilwen bowed her head respectfully and went her way. Solas looked at the grown woman he once had met as a child.

She was unlike any creature he had met.

Confident and strong.

He saw Varric from a distance, giving him a knowing smirk. The elf ignored him. He had no desire of indulge himself in such meaningless affairs. The girl certainly woke interest. Many had looked upon her and felt different afterwards. But he couldn't.

  
  
For he did not deserve the luxery of affection.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This part has been rewritten.
> 
> Translations :  
> Ma serannas - Thank you.  
> Andaran atishan - Dalish/elvhen greeting  
> Ma'banal ghilana shem hanin - Im not here to guide the humans towards salvation


	4. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen and co travels to the Hinterlands, hoping to find Mother Giselle
> 
> Retwritten and edited early 2016.

"So, now that Cassandra's out of earshot, are you holding up alright?"

 

Curius she looked to the side. Ithilwen hadn't even seen the dwarf when she walked by the small fireplace on the way to the tavern. So intruiged and eager to focus on anything else rather than the pain tugging in her palm she turned back and walked to him.  
  
"--I mean," Varric continued as she placed herself on the log next to him. "You go from the most wanted criminal in Thedas to joining the armies of the faithful. Most would have spread that out for more then one day."  
  
Ithilwen gave him a weak smile.

He was clever. Far more clever than most. He would could instantly tell that she in fact didn't feel too great. But neither did she wish to trouble him with her problems.  
  
Because she didn't really know anyone in the Inquisition. She had't even spoken with Sadron when she felt bad. Opening up to the dwarf did feel inviting, but she didn't trust him, Even if he had been the most open of them all.  
  
"I'm fine, Varric. But I appreciate your concern. I will be alright."  
  
"Come on, elf." He grunted with a frown. "Both you and I know that cannot be the case." He muttered something more in disapproval before rising from the log. "But fine, if you don't want to talk about it you don--"  
  
She cut him short, regretting her poor choice of an answer and took hold of his sleeve with her right hand. He just wanted to help her "Ir abelas, Varric. I just.. " She sighed. " I'm not--"

She stopped when his hand found her lips, silencing her.  
  
"That's alright kid." He regained his smile. "I didn't want to put pressure on you. Just making sure you're alright. You have a great responsibility now. Don't be afraid to take some air now and then, yeah?"  
  
"I.. Ma serannas, Varric."

They were sitting calmly, staring into the embers by the fire for quite some time.

The people of the village had yet to awake. Most of the lifestock even slept.

"You're not weirded out?"

"About?" She asked amused.

"Well, I dunno, the Breach?"

She gave away a little chukle. "I'll admit I do have some doubts about it all."   
  
"Doubts?" He nearly shouted. "I still can't believe someone walked out of the fade and lived to tell the tale. For days now we have been staring at the Breach, watching demons and Maker knows what fall out of the sky. Bad for morale would be an understatement."  
  
"If it's that bad, why did you stay?" Ithilwen asked as she looked to the side. "Didn't Cassandra say you were free to go?"  
  
"She did, and I'd like to think I'm as irresponsible as the next guy, but..  _This?_  " Varric looked up to the giant green dot hiding amongst the clouds. "Thousands of people died on that mountain. I was almost one of them. And now, there's a hole in the sky. Even I can't walk away and just leave that to sort itself out."  
  
"It was by pure luck I escaped, Varric." She eyes him from the side. "Nothing more."  
  
"Good luck.. Or bad?" He smiled back as she rose up on her feet. "You might want consider yourself running at the first opportunity. I've written enough tragedies to see where this is going. Heroes are everywhere ; I've seen that. But the hole in the sky.. That's beyond heroes. We are going to need a miracle. "  
  
She waved him goodbye as she continued to the Tavern. She wasn't used to this kind of treatment. Whenever Sadron got a no he didn't ask more, didn't question it. She had a lot to learn in the days to come. How not to upset or insult people was one of them.  
  
  
But she did it, again. The tavern girl almost fainted behind the counter when she walked through the door.

"Oh, you're her! You're the herald of Andraste!"  
  
Irritated by this continuing phrace that had been thrown at her these last two days Ithilwen almost spat. "I am not the Herald of Andraste."  
  
"Oh, I beg of your forgiveness, milady."

Ithilwen caught the bridge of her nose with an exhausted sigh.

"Ir abelas, Flissa. I didn't mean to yell at you. It's alright, you did nothing wrong. I just don't believe I am--"

Here she instantly stopped herself.

 

Flissa really,  _really_   seemed to beleive that she had been chosen and godsent. Telling her no would be unkind. But then again, telling her yes would be equally as false. So instead she swallowed her pride and looked up again. "Anyway, what do you have to eat?"  
  
The woman by the counter smiled and reached her a bowl along with a large mug. "Whatever you see here."  
   
She thanked the woman and placed herself in the corner by one of the windows. It was still dark outside and few people had entered the tavern, leaving her to actually take it easy. Tired she gazed out through the worn glass.

She hadn't been able to sleep at all last night. Even worse than usual. The pain kept her painfully awake. If this continued for long she wouldn't be able to take it.

 

"A cup of tea, thank you."

 

Flissa smiled and went away towards the kitchen, but soon returned with a steaming pot.

"She's a bit quiet, isn't she?" She told him. He twitched and looked back up at the woman.

"Hm?"

"I said that she's quiet." Flissa repeated. "The Herald I mean. She just sits there, with her bowl but doesn't touch it." He frowned as he looked back on her by the corner while Flissa continued. "And she didn't eat the other day either. Strange that one. I know our grub isn't the best, soldier pay, but after all the work she's been put through she should be starving." 

"She didn't eat her rasions yesterday?"

"She didn't even come over yesterday." Flissa said as she shook her head to the sides. Cullen slowly turned and looked back at Ithilwen again.

She did look a bit lost.

And she probably didn't take notice on how everyone in the tavern seemed to have lost their appetite. All they could focus on was her small shape, right there by the window. And she probably couldn't tell how astonishing she were to them either. 

"The food we had brought her hasn't even been eaten, if you ignore the crows flocking the bowl we found outside her house. Poor girl, she most be deeply troubled."

Cullen nearly snapped his neck as he returned his focus to the barmaid.

Didn't eat?

That was very unusual for an elf and especially for a Dalish one. Pepople who struggled often took food and water where they could get it. He had learned that ever since he moved to a city instead of a lonely tower.

Elves were treated poorly on the markets and often had it worse than the beggers. If he had thought Denerim bad, Kirkwall was worse. Especially for the Fereldan refugees that had fled the Blight. He himself was not too popular in the beginning.

Cullen frowned deeper as he eyed Ithilwen who rested by the table.

She was a bit quiet and reserved, true. But ever since they first met he had a nagging feeling going through him.

She _reminded_ him of someone. 

 

_"She is the key."_

Solas had been right.

Just like the many around he had been ready to have her throat slit for being a threat. Had this just been a few years earlier he would most defenitaly have done so out of fear.

  
"Good morning, Herald." He suddenly heard Leliana and turned.

She had taken seat right across the table where Ithilwen was sitting. The elf smiled weakly and had her bowl pushed aside.

"Anath'ara."

"It's good that I caught you. I have something I would like  to talk with you about."

Ithilwen frowned and leaned forward. "Something wrong?"

"In a manner of speaking.." Leliana whispered, but when she saw Cullen she retreated back. "It's something  would like to do in private however. Hello, Commander."

Ithilwen looked to the side as Cullen took the chair next to her.  
  
"Ah, Commander. I didn't see you there."  
  
"Good morning." He simply greeted, but kept his eyes on the bowl at her side. "You already finished?"

The elf stiffened up, but then looked on the bowl at her side. "I.. I had something earlier."  
  
Cullen hid the frown he felt comming while Ithilwen blushed a little and slowly went to sip on her new drink.  She instantly made a small frown in confusion after tasting the brew and stared down in it.  
  
"Something wrong with your drink?" Leliana asked as her lips pursed into a small grin. Ithilwen shook on her head a little in turn.  
  
"Yes. Or, no. I can't tell what this is."

Leliana took her cup and gave it a slow observation. "Tea." Here she looked up and back on the elf and handed it back. "You don't like tea?"

"Never been a fan, but it's better. This is a bit different from the tea the Dalish makes. It's sweeter. "  
  
"Honey, I'd wager." Leliana smiled.  
  
"Ohh."

"If you dislike it you could have some mead instead."

"Oh, no thank you." Ithilwen said as she replaced the cup on the table. "I don't drink."  
  
"So you don't drink nor like tea?" Cullen asked with curiosity.  
  
"Well, the Dalish blands are.. They taste like herbs, mostly. And alcohol.. Well. My father had some rather strong opinions regarding that."  
  
"I thought clans didn't have mothers and fathers." Cullen questioned as he looked her over.  
  
"Every clan has their quirks. Some do and some don't. My father and I lived in the same aravel and ate at the same time, just as families and villages do."  
  
"What about your mother?"

Cullen instantly regretted the question when he saw her freeze in place. He especially regretted it when he saw the sad frown on her forhead.

"I didn't know my mother."

  
"Good. You're up and about."

The three of them looked up as they heard the Seeker. She stood ready by the door, fully armored and ready with a bag under her arm.

 

"I've taken the liberty to assign you a pack of your own. Are you ready?"

~*~

  
"A word?" 

Ithilwen nodded and walked off with Leliana, towards the other end of the stable.

"The grey wardens in Ferelden and Orlais have disappeared. The others doesn't listen to me, but I have found traces of one out there in the Hinterlands. If you're able, could you look him up?"

"I see why not, while were there."

"Good." Leliana sighed with a releived expression. "His name is Blackwall."

  
Ithilwen weighted the map in her hand for a moment as she looked over the others in the other direction. "How come you're so eager to find the wardens while the others aren't?"

"I.. Have a friend in the warden's. She wouldn't leave, not like this." The Spymaster sighed with a troubled frown. "If there's even remotely a chance to get news I'd like to get it. Having an elite like Blackwall would do good for the Inquisition as well. Two birds with one stone."

A humm left Ithilwen as she walked outside the stables. "I agree. We will look for him."

   
  
"Dareth Shiral, Commander." Ithilwen said as she looked down from the red stallion Cullen had borrowed her and Solas. Cassandra had a horse of her own, but Varric had to borrow a pony, while Ithilwen and Solas would share.

Cullen smiled and looked up. "Take care, lady Lavellan. Be careful."   
  
Cullen kept looking after the group as they disappeared on the road. He knew it was necessary, but he has disapproved of the other elf sitting before her in the saddle. A sudden hushed giggle made him twitch. And as soon as he turned he spotted the Ambassador and Spymaster giggle behind risen hands.  
  
" Wha--What is it? " Cullen barked as he felt a flush on his cheeks.   
  
"Oh, nothing sugar lips." Leliana teased.  
  
They both lost their inner struggles and laughed hard when the Commander, red as a tomato, turned on his heel and almost ran back to his training recruits. The slacking students yelped when they heard their Commander filled with rage order them to raise their shields.

"He's to obvious for his own good." Leliana sighed with another giggle. "Well, enough chitchat. Time for work."

 

~*~

  
  
"So, how come you don't use one of them fancy staffes like every other mage out there, Silver?"

Ithilwen turned, suprised but then looked at Varric who rode up behind her.

Their search of mother Giselle had been successful, as for finding master Dennet. They spent two weeks in the hinterlands, helping the refugees with clothes, food, beds and herbs. But nowhere they asked and no matter how much they kept looking they couldn't find Blackwall. And so they went their way back to Haven, taking a smaller mountain path in order to avoid the trouble from the mountains that roamed around.

She should have seen it comming that Varric would know of her skills faster than the others. She grew a smile as she looked at the dwarf.

"What? Me? Ooh, I've never had a nickname before!" She clapped her hands in a silly gesture while giggling like a small child.

Varric did not let himself getting distracted. "Ooh, come on and answer the question already! I'm a master when it comes to deflecting the truth."  
  
"You know me so well." She grinned back.  
  
"I must admit that I'm just as curious as master Tethras." Solas added from behind.  
  
She turned a bit further in the saddle, observing Solas on his grey horse next to Cassandra.

"Dragging a staff with you while walking on the middle of the road practically screams apostate." She deflceted. Solas hummed a little.  
  
"True, but what if you need to use magic? A staff is far more convenient than using your hands."  
  
"I don't."  
  
"You never use magic? Ever? " Cassandra had risen one of her eyebrows.    
  
"I'm a hunter, not a mage."

"A hunter with magic."

The three of them almost dropped their jaws as her head turned with lightening in her eyes. "Just because I have a tool doesn't mean I need t-- "When her head suddenly went to the side and just as she had done so an arrow pierced a tree next to her.

 

~*~ 

 

"Not very well organized." Cassandra sighed as her sword found itself in the sheate on her side.

"Although they  _did_ have good equipment, for bandits I mean. Could it be that they were founded by someone to lay siege to this villa?"

 

The Villa in question had been underpowered. With so many gates they were bound to be attacked sooner or later. Ithilwen hummed as she looked around, taking a smaller observation of the things worth inside.

 

Spices, cloth and wapons filled up several rooms. Things that belonged to the robbed convoys not far away. It defenitaly smelled of some sort of set up and a larger operation.

"It could be possible." Cassandra stated as she looked around. "I don't think there's more to gather up. All ready to head back home?"

 

Home.

 

Yes, Haven was supposidly home now. It felt a bit strange, but likeble, Ithilwen thought and smiled. Her thoughs were interrupted as she felt Varrics strong hand on her arm.

 

"Hey, Silver. I think I got something."

"Oh? What is it? "

"A key to a Deep Roads entrance, right here in the Hinterlands." Varric said as he frowned with the key in hand.

Concerned she turned complealty around. "Something wrong?"

Varric let out a troubled sigh. "These men might have been part of the carta, smuggling Lyrium. If so we should watch our backs. They don't like having their plans disrupted."

"The Carta?"

 

"Oh, right. Elfy." Varric laughed and let his hand rub the back of his head. "They're underground villans, usually smuggles and cutrhroat. They deal with anything illeagal on and under the surface. Mostly castless."

  
"Castless?" She asked again, even more confused.

 

"Long story short," Varric said with a sigh. "They're doomed to walk in the mud. If you lack the right cast you can't get a better life. I'll explain it further when we get back in Haven. The key is bound to one of the letters. It speaks about darkspawn outbreak."

 

Ithilwen caught her chin. "I see. With the Wardens gone we might be the best solution for the time being."

 

"I was a bit more interessted in the vault that they've been unable to open." Varric grinned. "Might be worth checking out."

"You may be right." Ithilwen hummed again. "Though I feel that we should make our way to Haven first. We will look at it the next tim we go here."

"You're the boss, Silver."

~*~

"Do you have tattoes  _everywhere_  on your body?"

 

Solas looked up as he heard the Seeker's astonished tone from behind the linnen wall working as protection against the cold and undpredictable weather.

 

They had been forced to seek shelter because of the rain. And stuck as they were in the middle of rocky mountain path left them with few options. Luckely enough they had passed a small cave half an hour ago which they sought refuge for the night.

Now as their clothes hanged to dry Cassandra had insissted for Ithilwen to take a change of clothes from her. Varric was too busy to get the flame going to even notice how the womans shadows danced against the tent they had hanged up. But Solas saw them.

All too well.

"Ah," Ithilwen's shadow huffed as it looked down on it's own shape. "Yes."

"Didn't that hurt?" 

"Yes.."

This made Solas stop in his tracks and look over the shadow who pulled on a new shirt. Her answer only made Solas even more confused about the younger elf. Other Dalish seemed so proud about ther Vallaslin. But here she clearly displayed something else. Not regret, but  _something_.

Solas quickly retreated back his head forward as the two of them reentered the cave come back from behind the wall. He had an incredible hard time to ignore her naked legs and released, wet hair that hanged alongside her chest and back. He had never seen her hair free before. It was long, almost reaching the back of her knees.

"You can change now, if you'd like."  
  
"That would be nice." Varric grunted as hee quickly dispatched his wet shirt and threw it to the floor as he escaped behind the tent. First when Ithilwen had placed herself next to Solas he noticed something hang around her throat.

A small pink stone, together with a black tooth.

_His_  tooth.

 

Some warmth spread inside his chest. She kept it? All this time? 

Once more he found himself in the position and dreamy land of Nostalgia. She hadn't really changed much. She was still as quiet. Now that he knew more of this world he understood why she looked like she did. Why the Dalish did what they did.  
  
"Solas, aren't you going to change?"

He twitched and looked up at the Seeker who stared down on him. He felt like a child, caught stealing sweets. And so he went up on his feet and made it to the other end of the cave and tent they used as for a wall, dissapearing behind it.  
  
"HEY!" The dwarf grunted as the tents wall flew up. "Take it easy, Chuckles!"  
  
"Ma'seranna ma, Master Thetras."  
  
Ithilwen frowned as she saw Varrics hairy rump free from their wet trousers, but then turned back to look on the fire. Cassandra covored her eyes and muttered all sorts of curses and looked down on Ithilwen, forgetting the wiew of the dwarfs buttox. Instead she was filled up with curiosity over the marks that she'd seen earlier.

"Are they common?"

Ithilwen looked up with a risen brow and Cassandra felt the awkwardness settle in. "The tattoes."

"Oh." The elf said and rolled up the sleeves of her grey tunic. "Every Dalish are granted Vallaslin. It's a sign of maturity."

"Yes," Cassandra said as she looked her over. "I know. I meant.. Does everyone receive full bodied.."

".. I'm not entierly sure to be honest. I've only met two other clans in my life, if you ignore the occasional traveller."

"Don't you elves have these large gatherings once or twice?" Varric asked from behind the tent.

"The Arlathven." Ithilwen said as she looked up. "After the war everyone agreed that it would be safest not too meet up. I know Templars usually don't go for our keepers, but we've been forced to defend ourselves in the past."

"Against Templars?" Cassandra asked, shocked by the sounds of it.

"No." Ithilwen shook her head. "I've only met one Templar before I came here."

"Did he attack you?"

Ithilwen instantly stiffened up with round eyes. "No! He--"

She stopped and looked out, in which Solas frowned from behind the tent as he wiped his back.

"He was very kind.. He  _is_  kind."

 

"Is that did came to the Conclave? 

 

The tone on the dwarf was teasing. Even Ithilwen could hear this.

"No." She said as she sucked up her breath. "I didn't come to act as an abassador or the like. I was only meant to keep watch."

"Not exaktly descreet by going in an Dalish armor." Varric said.

"I have no knowledge about the life of a villager, besides what I've seen, which isn't much."

  
"Huh.. It occurs to me that I actually don't know much about you." Cassandra said after a moment of silence.   
  
"What do you wish to know?"  
  
"I'm.. Not sure. Where are you from?"  
  
Ithilwen frowned as she looked to the side. "You don't know?"  
  
"I suppose I could ask Leliana, she has dug a frightful pile with information about you. But I didn't want to ask her. I am asking you."  
  
Cassandra couldn't help but to think that Ithilwen tensed up at that. "My clan roamed the Free Marches for the most part, like the Planasene Forest. But never close to the coast. We kept inlands avoiding cities and the open land."  
  
"Oh, I never knew that you kept that far north."  
  
"We mostly stayed in the woods. Kirkwall was the first city I ever had seen."  
  
"Oh? You've been to Kirkwall?" Varric asked with curiosity behind the wall.  
  
"Yes, I took ship there."  
  
"Did you see anything in particular?" Varric turned up from behind the wall and seated himself on the other side of the fire.  
  
Ithilwen hummed in thought for a moment. "Well, the red statue.."  
  
She couldn't help but to twitch as she saw the incredible happy light in his eyes slowly turn dark. "Yes, of course you saw that."  
  
" What about your clan? Will you.. Will you return once all of this is over?"

Varric gave the Seeker a nod with an half grin, but soon felt the hair on his arms rise when Ithilwen quickly spat towards the fire.

Even Solas, behind the wall nearly lost his own footing as he came back to the fire.

  
"If I ever go back, it will be too soon."

~*~

"Is there something on your mind?"

  
  
Ithilwen didn't even look up as she heard Solas exit the cave. She had already heard him walk towards her.

She stood pressed next to her horse who Dennet had called 'Duke.' A darkbrown gelding, strong and increaibly large, even for his race. The old stablemaster had pursed his lips as she quickly flew up on his back only a week prior.

Why she hadn't been able to understand.

"You seem a little distracted, dal'en."

"About?"

Solas dove his head with a smile. "That I cannot figure. You're the Herald, dal'en. You need to--"

"Banal'herald ma!" She spit as she looked away. "Ma banal Andraste'enastel." Solas brows dove while she sighed and leaned into the wall. "Ir'him, Elgar."

He suddenly chukled and went closer. "I'm not some mystical being either." He sighed and leaned on the wall with his shoulder. "You're the only one your kind who have treated me as such."

_Your kind._

She felt herself stiffen up. "My kind? And what are your opinions on elvhen culture?"

Suprised he looked down on her. "I'd thought that you'd be more interested to share  _your_ opinion on elvhen culture. You are Dalish, are you not?"

"And how is that bad?"

He even dared to snort as he shook his head.  
  
"They are children acting out stories they heard and repeated wrongly a thousand times."  
  
"How are you so certain that you know the truth?"  
  
"While you passed stories, mangeling details  _I_  walk the Fade.  _I_  have seen things that  _you_  have not."  
  
This almost tipped her over.

" _The Fade_." She snarled as she walked away from him.  "And how much truth is displayed in the realm of the Beyond?"

His eyes widened. "You're a mage! You should--"

 

" **I should know better than to trust what spirits mimics!** "

 

Solas stared and she, she covored her mouth.

Never before had she bursted out such anger, towards anyone. Save Sadron the time when he tried to hold her back.  
  
"Ir Abelas, hahren." She huffed as she took her own head, avoiding his questioning look. "I did not mean to yell. I sometimes forget the hardships my people can bestow the ununitiated. If the Dalish have done you a disservice I would make that right."

Solas hands rose as he stepped closer. "I..You are right, of course.. The fault is mine. For expecting what the Dalish truly could acomplish. Ir abelas, Dal'en. If I could offer any understanding you have but to ask."

  
  
Solas had regretted his harsh words. The girl simply tried to get to know him better and all Dalish clans were not the same as the one's he had met earlier. She might be different.

Just as his hand fell on her shoulders he could not help but to twich.

Her left arm. It felt..

Both of them turned as they heard the russeling of a chainmill. And before Solas had the chance to stop her she had passed him and tripped the large man to the ground.

  
"O--OI!" The bearded man in the chainmill hollored as her knife were about to have his throat cut. "I'm a friend!"   
  
Her hand stilled for but a moment. "How many are you?"  
  
"One."

The bloke on the ground gasped a little as her knife dug deeper and pinched his skin.

"And why should I believe you, hmm? Far as I can tell you're a bandit. None will miss the likes of you." Ithilwen said with a tone that came to frighen both Solas and the man on the ground equally as deep.

Because there was a certain hunger in the way she spoke. That as if the thirst for his blood gnarled at her very core.  
In an instant Solas had walked forth and reached for her wrist.

"Don't kill him. He's a grey warden."  
  
An incrediblyy green eye stared back up at him, then down on the man on the ground.

 

"..Blackwall?"

 

~*~ 

 

The Grey Warden in question looked at the young elf with a sort of reverence as the other tended to her on the other side of the cave.

Because she, she was the Herald of Andraste. A prophet in flesh and blood.

It felt a bit strange to see an elf, but when it came down to it he saw it as an amusing thing. The royal bastards that he once had worked for would have a field trip with this.

 

"I had trained a couple of farmer lads that lived there to handle on their own, since the bloody bandits has been haunting them." He began as he looked back on the Seeker. Here he chukled heartely as he combed his beard with his fingers when remembering the messy piles of corpses. "But nothing ever happend, for they all had been slaughtered in their own little hamlet."  
  
"Ohh,  _Those_ bandits!" Varric let out with a snicker.  
  
"Yep," Blackwall countered.", they had been worked through an intensive military training for two weeks, but suddenly none to release it on."

"And how did you know where to find us?" Cassandra asked, a bit surly.

Blackwall shrugged. "'Them villagers told me that you took care of it, and that you had been looking for me.  And that you headed this way. It was by pure chanse that I saw you." He paused, looking at Ithilwen and Solas that had returned to the fire. "I, ehh, heard the two of you outside on the road."

For the first time since taking him down outside Ithilwen took the time to actually observe the warden.

There was something fishy about him. Why were everyone else gone and he still walking around the land, complealty unaware of his order's dissapearence? It didn't feel right. When she caught him stealing glances she adverted hers, a bit uncomfterble and went up on her feet again.

 

Silently she stepped outside the cave and rested against the wall where her horse stood.

He munched on the hay that they had brought with them, for no grass grew there. He eyed her as she came walking, but ignored her after a while, continuing eating his meal. She let her hand flow over his mane. It was thick and long. He had a white sign and black nose, and one blue eye. She found him fasinating and beautiful. The dalish didn't use horses, but Hallas. And for the most part they didn't ride them.  
  
It was when she blinked that she felt her eye sting again. Irritated she sighed and tried to cocentrate on something else.

It didn't really work. No matter how much she tried to revert her thoughts into motivation the aches slowly slipped back. This time she coould not ignore how tired she did feel. How tired she felt about the constant agony in her palm or how angry she felt about the sleepless nights.

  
  
_"We can talk about it when you return."_

 _  
  
_ Duke tensed up as the rock wall trembled at the contact with her closed fist.

She hadn't felt this irritated in years. She felt trapped again, not by her father, but by a fucking shemlen orgininization. She cooled down and took a deep breath. She aimed to move but felt something holding her back. She looked back at the  wall behind her and felt a cold wave rush through her core. Her hand had cracked the very mountain, for it had sunked in a bit. She stared at it for a moment. Blinked. Then snatched back her hand, holding it at against her chest in a defensive position.   
  
_  
I did **that**?  
_  
  
Fear replaced the anger she untill reacently had felt.

  
Fear of what she had become. 

 

`~*~´

 

  "Mamae, is it true what they say?"

 

The older woman slowly shut her eyes and turned as her oldest son stepped inside the Aravel.

As a keeper it was her duty to ensure the safety of her kin and the young. A responsibillity that was incredibly hard to handle at moments. Especially when the one expected to lead question your every judgement when possible.

Her own mentor prefered the ways of the road, which left her with the position as leader. Earlier she would have been able to let her own first shoulder that burden. But with her gone, that posibillity had been removed.

Or well, so she had thought.

Everyone in the camp had been disturbed by the news of the explosion. And they had been even more devestated about the news of the continuation of the war between the Templars and Mages.

 

But most of all, her son had been mourning.  
  
His eyes that had looked empty and without purpouse now glowed with a new fire.

"Is it true that she is alive, and a prophet trapped in hands of the humans?"

   
His mother sighed once more as she moved aside, letting her son take place next to her. "I belive it may be so, yes."  
  
The boy instantly hooked the curtain close to the aravel's exit. "Then I will go to her."  
  
The mother of the young hunter instantly grabbed hold of her son's shoulder. "No, you will not. I will send for a letter to have her released and brought back to us. I dare not provoke the humans, even more then what they have been."  
  
"Provoke them?  _They_ were the one that took her in the first place, calling her a godess in the shoes of man!"  
  
"And  _we_ sent here there."  
  
"Banal, mamae." The hunter countered. " _You_ forced her there."  
  
"She did what any of the elvhen would have done. She is my first, and know the danger better then anyone. Hamin, Dal'en. This discussion is finished."  
  
"Don't you see? This is madness!"   
  
"Madness?" Her tone went from reason to anger.  as she pointed towards the door. "Who are you to speak of madness? You alone severly beated a girl no more then sixteen summers old, and for what? A joke?"

The boy's teeth grinded together as deflected his gaze from his mother.

 

_"That abomination bitch deserved to die! I'm glad she's gone."_

  
"She called her an abomibation, mamae."  
  
"And that makes it right?"  
  
Here he finally snapped and rose from his knees, unable to hold his voice low and calm.  "You all have been hating her ever since she was born. She did nothing, but you treated her like monster, like Fen'Harel himself had been whispering in her ear!"  
  
"Do not turn this on me, dal'en."  
  
"Yes, I will turn this on you, mother." He continued as she found her feet. "You had every chanse to stop this, but you let them continue!  You let him harass her. You let him kill her with every strike-- "

The lavett almost send him back to the floor.

"That is enough, Sadron." The keeper growled. "You will not go to that village and I will hear nothing more out of you. Have I made myself clear?"  
  
The hunter slowly turned his head back, only to quickly make it for the exit ".. Yes,  _mamae_. You made that perfectly clear."  
  
Exhausted and with a deeply troubled mind the Keeper looked back to the table where the note still rested. And once more she found the goosefeather to resume her writing, signing her name before letting some wax of the candle have it sealed.

 _  
  
_ Truth was she felt increadibly anguished by the whole ordeal.

Sending her own first was a mistake she shouldn't have comitted. Just because they lived closer to cities than any other Dalish clan did not mean they were haunted by the shemlens. But she knew the human race and the foolishness they consorted with. She dared not demand for the return of her apprentice, but she had no other choice. Because as much as she feared the tortches and spears, she feared the day when Erumollien would return more.

  
  
For he would not turn a blind eye to her mistake.

 

`~*~´

  
  
"So  _this_ is a deep road entrance. It's grand!"

  
  
"The Durgen’len do have rather  _peculiar_ taste." Solas said far behind Ithilwen who with a dropped jaw cooed for the artwork by the pillars.  
  
"Hey, call us by our real titles, Chuckles."  
  
"Ma'nuvinen, Master dwarf."  
  
"And stop with that! I have a name you know."  
  
"As do I, child of the stone."

The two men exhanged rude stares for one moment, but then smiled in the next. Blackwall stood ready next to ithilwen who held a small note.  
  
"What did the letter say, exaktly?"  
  
"Something about an Darkspawn infistation. I had thought about sending our forces here, but I fear that we can't wait any longer. The trip back to Haven takes at least three days, and that's just us. I don't want to risk the blight spreading while the forces mobalizes." They continued up the path to the door.   
  
The Warden eyed her from the side as she put the note in a small pouch strapped to her thigh. "Mm, good point."  
  
Ithilwen made a small nod and then turned to Varric who had the key ready and about.  
  
"This thing is rather heavy." Ithilwen said as she weighed it in her hand.  
  
"It's dwarven. They make everything stand out, even when it's not supposed to." Varric grunted.  
  
"I wonder what it is made of." Cassandra looked curiously at the piece in their leaders hand.   
  
"Probably gold, or silver." Varric suggested.  
  
"Really? Isn't that rather foolish? What if you lost it? Or someone stole it and melted it down?"  
  
"They keep spares, Seeker." Varric answerd.  
  
Ithilwen enterd the key and tried spun it, but not without effort. Just as Blackwall was about to have a try for himself she changed to her left hand instead. The three four other people stared as they heard a laud 'clonking' sound and saw the door turn aside with a scream.  
  
"And there the element of suprise just got thrown out from the window."   
  
"Guess were doing this the hard way."

 

She instantly covored her mouth as she felt the reek.

Sweet, and like rotting corpses.

Cassandra frowned and placed her hand on Ithilwen's shoulder. "What's wrong?"

"Can't you smell it? It stinks!"

The rest of them frowned even deeper as she shook her head. "Must be the water or something.." Ithilwen muttured and went forward.

If there was something Ithilwen had yet to learn it was that dwarves don't play fair. Especially not carta dwarves. They were small and had to rely on tricks in order to harm their enemies. Even the warriors with giant maces and axes threw sand in her eyes. And even though they played dirty Ithilwen found it rather impressive being able to move with such grace when having such small and stubby legs.

By the second she smelled the incredibly bad odur for a second time she spun half a circle and spotted something nasty down below.

And that,  _that_  was the first time she'd ever seen a darkspawn.

Just as the stories had painted it up, it looked like a man. But it did not carry itself like one. Just as the dark tales spun by the fire it were pale like a rotting corpse, tainted. And the blood it spit as he throwing knife found it's throat was black.

She could tell that the thing she had smelled inside the cave all originated from the likes of them.

  
  
"Darkspawn!" Cassandra snarled while Ithilwen turned aside.  

"Blackwall. Do you know how many there are?"  
  
"It's... Hard to say." The man hummed. "I think there's more down under there." He pointed at a wodden bridge beneath them, there seemed to be three levels down. "I can spot a hole there, probably from were they emerged."  
  
"Then that's where we're going."

 

~*~

"Stand back. I will seal off the exit."

 

Ithilwen huffed out some air while Solas and Cassandra took a closer look at where the darkspawn first had kept comming from.

"Nasty little buggers." Varric sighed close to Blackwall who let his shield rest against the floor. "How you wardens stand to fight them is beyond me. No glory and no tressurepile waiting by the end. Just cold ol' death."

"It's not always just about Archdemons and Blights."

"Oooh touchy."

  
"HAHREN!"

 

Varric and Blackwall both shook as they saw Ithilwen dash by them, towards the hole.

Before Solas had the chanse to react he bounced back. Everyone gawked as they saw his limb body fly across the slim path. And when Ithilwen saw him fall over the edge she followed, despite Cassandra's objections.  
  
  
She had barely caught Solas in the arm as she clung to the side of the wall.

"Hahren!" She shouted as she felt his grip slip from hers. And as she looked up she spotted Cassandra, shoked to see her by the edge. To busy fighting they wouldn't be able to aid her. Cassandra looked back at her, notecing that she was about to fall.

Ithiwen let out a huff and let go.

When they fell she grabbed hold Solas by his torso, keeping him close as she quickly made the kick downwards and pushed all of her mana through her feet, making it bounce both her and Solas back over the edge.

 

And now Ithilwen saw what she had sensed.

The monster was twice the size of the monster she earlier had seen. And between it's large fists it held a giant maul that it kept hammering down around itself.

"It's an Alpha!" Blackwall shouted from the other side. "It commands the others!"

Ithilwen screamed in her anger as she jumped up on it's back and slashed away the buckles on it's chestpeice. But then it started to spin. With one final slash she took the chestpeice with her in her fall.

"Now!"

Cassandra didn't hesitate and threw her sword right at it. It shook and stumbled a few steps, before falling over the edge.

"Go!" Ithilwen screamed to the others. "I'll take care of the rest!"

She spun around for a moment, looking for something to seal off the exit with. When she didn't her eyes went to her own two hands.

It had been a long time.

But she saw little choise.

Blackwall could undeniably hide the astonishment as he saw the large rocks loft and throw themselves inside the hole, sealing it off. And as he turned he saw an incredible tired elf grab hold of her own eye.  
  
"There wont be another darkspawn comming through any time soon." She sighed as she turned. Blackwall stared at her. Looked towards wgere the monsterous Hurlock had tripped over the edge, then the sealed exit and then back at her as she ran passed him, like nothing ever had happend.

  
  
"You're awake. Good." Cassandra sighed as she patted his Solas shoulder. The elf sighed as she saw the shapes around him shake.

And when he felt the magic in the air his eyes widened.

Her magic was more defined than he ever thought possible. And she, she looked outstanding.

"Solas, how are you?"

He shook when he heard the worried voice of the Seeker and exhanged the goofy smile he had been holding with a serious frown.  
  
"Yes. It got a bit hairy there.."  
  
"Tell me about it." Varric laughed. "Here I thought we would all have to get for a swim if it hadn't been for Silver."

Solas looked up again and saw Ithilwen come running with Blackwall. She panted, but smiled as they locked their gazes.

"Hahren!"  
  
The two others shook as they saw Cassandra rise from the ground and grab hold of Ithilwen who just was about to kneel.  
  
" **Never** do that again!"  
  
Ithilwen's rather pleased expression vanished as she was pushed backwards. "But, what should I have done? Let him fall?"  
  
"Yes. You should." Solas said as he rose back onto his feet, leaning on his staff for ballance. "You took an unneccecary risk. You cannot afford that in battle."  
  
"But, you could have died!".  
  
"That doesn't matter. "  
  
Solas nearly felt like hitting himself when he saw the hurt expression. "How can you say that?"  
  
"Enough." Cassandra interrupted. "We will return to Haven at this instant. Do. You. Hear. Me?" She growled and gave Ithilwen a hard stare while holding up a warning finger towards her, who in return angerly snarled and turned.

  
  
"Ma'nuvinen, _Seeker_."

 

~*~

  
"I'll admit. I thought you'd be.."

 

Suprised she gazed up on the warden who had fallen back and walked right besides her.

She took a time to inspect the older man. At first she had taken a disliking to him. Because when it came to it, he seemed to good to be true. Seldom had she met a man, or woman, who were ready to spill their own blood for others. Ready to sacrifice their freedom so that others could live a simple and good life.

Yet these wardens did it without a moments notice.

It made her doubt her own resolve.

The man in question kept staring at her and she sighed.  
  
"You thought I'd be human?"  
  
"..Yes."    
  
"Better than being called a knife ear." She joked, if a bit sourly. She instantly wished she hadn't, seeing how poorly he reacted.  
  
"It was a foolish thought. Should have known better then to say anything. It's not who you are but how you do it that's important."  
  
"Blackwall." Ithilwen said as she caught his shoulder. The man turned his head and nearly stumbled when she hooked her eyes in his.

"I don't blame you for thinking that way. Humans are everywhere, it's expected. you're not the first, and wont be the last. Keep going on about you being dense and I really wont forgive you."

He stared for a moment, but then smiled and gave her a nod.  
  
"Just.. One question, then. How do you think you fit in with it all?"  
  
She halted. Blackwall had taken another step, but fell back again to her side.

Because that was a question that put her on the spot. So far she only did what she had been told. But mostly because she was the only one being able to seal the Rifts. Hadn't she had the mark..  
  
Would she have stayed and helped anyhow? Because of her own free will.. Or because of curiosity for Solas and Cullen?

"I don't know. I hope to help, but I don't know if I will be able too."  
  
"Even if you're unsure, it's a worthy goal. One that I am willing to support." His hand had found her shoulder. "Do not doubt yourself, lass. From what I've seen you have showed strength and honor that few would be able to muster." Here the Warden grew an intensly cold stare as he looked forward.

"For me, I'll be satisfied so long as we find the bastards that killed the devine. They owe us some answers."

  
Ithilwen frowned, along with the Warden as they both looked up on the green eye gazing down on the two of them from above the temple far to the south. 

  
  
"Agreed."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Retwritten and edited early 2016.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Anath'ara - Dalish greeting.  
> Ma serannas - Thank you.  
> Vallaslin - Dalsh tattoes. Means bloodwriting.  
> Banal'herald ma - I'm not an Herald.  
> Ma banal Andraste'enastel - I'm not chosen by Andraste.  
> Ir'him, Elgar - I am me, spirit.  
> Ir abelas - Forgive me/I'm sorry.  
> Hahren - Elder.  
> Dal'en - little child.


	5. Revelations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen and co returns to Haven and talk about next step in order to close the Breach.

 

 

Cassandra helped Solas place himself on one of the logs surrounding the fireplace. He had been rather dizzy and feared he would get a concussion. He hadn't drawn any blood, but a blue spot colord the back of his head.

Ithilwen had stood at the back of the camp, observing Solas injury. Having treated Sadrons wounds for years had given her some knowledge, and she wanted to help Solas as well, but didn't know if it would be right. He had avoided her the whole walk back to the main camp. She knew he was angry at her. But the image--The expression stuck to his face as he fell over the edge had burned into the depth of her mind, and it was horrible.

Cassandra left Solas at the log, going for some water. Varric and Blackwall had decided to go and sell off some of the trinkets they had found in the Villa the day before.

Ithilwen saw the field surgeon and asked him for some healing salve. He gave her a bottle and some tissues to wipe the leftovers with.

She made her way to her friend and placed herself behind him. Her eye glowing wild and green with concern. She observed the bruice at his head. It hadn't been to big of a injury, but there could be internal wounds as well. She opend the bottle and placed some of the salve on his bruice. He hissed and tilted his head a little at the contact, for it was cold. She made small circular movements with the tip of her slender fingers, he relaxed and sighed. She stood there for a while, massaging the bruice. When it was done she closed the bottle and let her hand fall over his shoulder. He twitched then, looking up at the woman that now stood besides him.

" Oh.." He hadn't realized it had been her. He had some cuts on his cheek and nose, but it would heal by itself. The wiew however didn't help Ithilwens confidence. He looked bad, for he was pale and had bags under his eyes.

" How is your head? "

" I wont lie, it hurts. " Her face took an even darker turn. Solas felt himself panic, wanted to reassure her. " But it feels better now. "

They kept looking at each other without saying anything for a while. The camp buzzled with movement. Cassandra was comming back with a flask of water, but saw the two of them, and turned on her heel. She would come back later.

" Ir abelas, hahren. About before-- It was foolish of me. I got caught in the moment.. " She couldn't hold back her hand from gliding along his cheek. It stopped at one of the minor cuts, right under his right eye. " I was afraid to lose you. " He felt hot, his heart flutted. _Do you even know what effect you have on me, woman?_

" Dal'en.." He caughed, looking away again. " I was wrong as well. You helped me and I appearded ungratefull. I am not. "

They fell in silence again. After a while she realized that her hand still rested on his cheek. She dragged it away quickly and the tips of her ears became pink.

" Anyway, err.. We should probably get back to Haven as soon as possible. Are you up for the ride, or would you like to stay here? "

" You're the leader, Dal'en. It is up to you. " Again, that sultry old teacher act.

" Solas.. " He shut his eyes, gave up and sighed.

" Then let us go back. I don't know about you, but I long for a real bed. " He looked back at her. She smiled. That childish and pure smile full with life and exitement. As she went away his mouth became a thin line. _It_ _will be tradgic to see that innocence disapear._

He rememberd something, and quickly called her back.

 

" Dal'en, Then! Na inan! "

" Sahlin? "

" Emma souveri. Na inan, sahlin. "

" Ma serannas, hahren. "

 

They made their way to Haven. Blackwall had borrowed Ithilwen horse Duke, as she was riding Cullens red stallion. He had also taken the liberty to ride next to her which made Solas feel even more out of place, but Varric would pester him from time to time. Cassandra was at the back keeping lookout for eventual enemies. They had made it quite far befor they stopped for the night. As the valliant gentleman Blackwall was he stood ready to help Ithilwen down from her horse. She wasn't used to that sort of chivalry, not only because she hadn't known human customs, but because more and more people had seemed to act that way around her. And as the ignorant child she was she couldn't have recognized the flirtatious looks and jokes thrown at her.

It made life easier for Solas however.

And for Cullen, he soon noticed. He awated them at the gates outside Haven. He blushed as soon as he saw Ithilwen, and his hand flew up, rubbing his neck.

He cleared his voice. " Lady Lavellan. We've been awating your return. "

" _Some_ more then others. " Leliana added behind him. Ever the sneaky bard had mysteriously appeared out of nowhere. Cullen gave her a hard glare, which she ignored.

Cullen had intended to help Ithilwen down from the horse, but wasn't fast enough for Blackwall was already there. He saw the younger mans flusterd face and couldn't help himself from giving the blonde a knowing grin.  _She have smitten all of her soldiers, it seems._

Solas, Cassandra and Varric dismounted and observed, but was interrupted when owner to the pony that Varric had borrowed came flying. She cried and told the poor animal that she never would let it out of her side again while squeezing it half to death. Cassandra and Varric laughed while the parents came running, offering apologizes to the dwarf. Even Solas smiled a little at the scene.

Leliana had her eyes on Blackwall, recognizing the Griffon emplem.

" Warden Blackwall, I presume? We've been expecting you. Would you mind following me? I have some questions regarding the Grey Wardens. "

He looked at Ithilwen, who gave him an acknowledging nod. She was with them.

" Then I will take my leave. " He turned and plucked her hand to give it a soft kiss. His beard tickled her knuckles. " Lavellan."

" Warden. " She nodded in farewell. He gave her a wink, turned and walked away with the spymaster. She had gotten used to his ways by now. She thought it a human thing, but didn't realize what they did was out of the ordinary.

Blackwall chuckled as Leliana gave him a evil smirk as they made their way up to the chantry.

" Don't tease our commander, warden. "

" Just this once. " He answerd. Leliana could easily see that the man didn't have those sort of feelings for the girl, and that he only teased the others. He was twice her age, and had grey in his hair. It would take a lot for him to concinder the girl a woman he wanted to seduce.

She then thought back to her old friend. She had also been rather oblivious to men, and it took Alistair a lot of effort to court her. He had asked her desperately for advice, and the thing that had worked was that corny rose. She had even frozen it and kept it in her quarters still, even if she hadn't had contact with the king for several years. She missed him dearly, but they couldn't be together.

 

And now she was gone.

 

Both Leliana and Alistair had been desperate, for she wasn't the only one. Even Oghren, Valenna, Nathaniel and Sigrun had disappeared from thin air.

Shale had no clue, as she still hanged around the Keep. The mabari, Duncan, had died from old age, as was Wynne. Sten had become Arishok. Aaron Amell had stayed with Alistair since the tower had fallen with Connor and his apprentice. They had not really gotten along in the beginning but now they were as close as brothers. And Zevran was out somewhere, causing trouble no doubt. Morrigan was gone since the blight had ended. 

But now she had a lead. Blackwall was a warden and could help.

 

Ithilwen and the Commander had been walking together through the village. She had hoped to speak privately with Cullen before heading into the chantry.

" Commander, do you have time to-- " She never managed to end her sentence, for they saw an angry mob outside the Chantry. The courtyard was buzzeling with irritation between the inquisitions mages and templars. Cullen gave her a quick apology and went ahead. She knew that he needed to go, but it didn't help her from feeling even more lost. She paced up her speed, standing a few meters away from the heated argument that took place.

" Your kind killed the most holy! "

" LIES-- your kind let her die! " An elder mage argued back.

" Shut your mouth, _mage!_ " The young templar drew his sword, ready to strike the mage, but Cullen interwiewnd.

" ENOUGH! "

" Knight commander! " Both the mage and the templar lowerd their weapons.

" That is not my title. " He growled low while eyeing them both. "We are NOT templars any longer. We are ALL part of the Inquisition! "

" And what does that mean, _exactly_? " Chancellor Roderick stepped forward from the arguing masses. Ithilwen felt the anger brew in her. She wasn't in the mood for another of his hysterical preachings. She felt it hard to press the irritation down and keep a cool charade. She kept her place, not wanting to worry Cullen.

Cullen didn't seem impressed nor suprised. " Back already, Chancellor? Haven't you done enough? "

I'm curious, Commander, as to how your inquisition and its herold," He eyed Ithilwen as he turned around, inviting the audience to listen, " -- Will restore orders as you've promised. "

" Of course you are. " Cullen simply muttered. " Back to your duties. All of you! "

The crowd diminished, some stayed a bit longer, hoping to get another glimpse of a fight, but the commander's glares made them squirm back. Ithilwen walked forward, hoping to talk some with the commander before entering the chantry. But Cullen had been continuing the discussion with Roderick.

" Mages and templars were already at war. Now they're blaming each other for the divine's death. "

" Which is why we require a _proper_ authority to guide them back to order! "

" Who, you? Random clerics who weren't important enough to be at the conclave? "

Roderick, unsurprisingly enough, snapped and began anew. " The rebel Inquisition and it's so called- _Herald of Andraste?_ I think not! "

" Chancellor, so far you're the one who's insisted we can't work together. " Ithilwen gave him a cool stare, while feeling the anger bubble.

" We might, if your inquisition would recognize the chantry's authority. " The man looked at her with a smug expression.

" There is no authority until another Devine is chosen. "

" In due time. Andraste will be our guide. Not some heretical elf abomination walking on a mountainside. " The words hurt her. And he could see it. But she didn't snap. Didn't want to give him the satisfaction, even as every inch of her body trembled for desire of his blood. Cullen however found it quite easy to let his hand grasp his throat.

 

" Do watch your tongue, _chancellor_. You may have the liberty to stay, but I shan't tolerate another insult. "

 

He was at the edge of snapping his neck, for his fingers slowly tightend around the throat.

Commander, please. " Her velvet voice soothed with calmness. She had lost her anger, it had been replaced with fear of what he might do to the chancellor. She had put her hand on his that grabbed the clerics throat. Roderick's surprised eyes fell on the girl as she spoke with him.

" I have never claimed to be the Herold of Andraste, you know that, chancellor. " Cullen still had a firm grip around his throat. He squeeled his next words.

" Paint however you like, elf. You may utter those words now, but in time your inquisition will not be afraid to use that excuse whenever it's convenient. " He looked back at Cullen, the fear had left him. " You think nobody cares about the truth of Justinia's death? We _all_ grieve her loss. "

Cullen closed the distance between them, holding the man closer to his face. With a low growl he utterd his next words. " But you won't grieve if the herald of Andraste is conveniently is swept under a carpet. " In a sudden and harsh motion he let go of the chancellor, pushing him back.

He stumbled a moment, before he regained his ballance. " Clearly your templar knows where to draw the line.. " Roderic uttered as his own hand traced the red marks around his throat.

Cullen glared for a short moment before he spoke again. " He's toothless. There's no point turning him into a martyr simply because he runs at the mouth. " He took hold of Ithilwen in her arm and dragged her with him into the chantry.

" The chancellor's a good indicator of what to expect in Val Royeaux, however. " He let go of Ithilwen when the door had closed. He had snapped, but even if it was foolish he hadn't regretted it. He turned and looked back at the herold.

She, on the other hand, had transformed compleatly. Her eyes was nailed to the floorbords.

" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have--No, I'm not sorry. He needed to learn his place. " Ithilwen tilted her head back up at Cullen who rested his arm agains the pommel of his sword at his side.

" It doesn't matter. I'm fine, Commander." She sighed, but could feel herself tremble. He has _frightened_ her. The sweet man she had met in the woods seemed so far away. She forced herself to look back at him.

" You shouldn't have.. " But she couldn't lie. He knew that she had been grateful for his aid. Even if it had frightend her. They stood there, silent for a while before she whispered in the emtpy corridor.

" Thank you. "

He let out a long breath in his releif. " Don't mention it. "

 

They ventured to the war room. Mother Giselle, Cassandra and Leliana had already taken their stations around the war table. Cullen and Ithilwen joined them.

" We all know of the chantrys denouncement and I'm familiar with those behind it. " The mother began, and the others listend. She aimed her attention to Ithilwen. " I wont lie to you, some of them are grand standing, hoping to improve their chances of becoming the new devine. Some, are simply terrified. Fear makes us desperate. But hopefully not beyond reason. I advice you to go to them and convince the remaining clerics that you are no demon to be feared. "

Ithilwen laughed in her mind. _Oh, I should be thankful they didn't see me yesterday._

Cullen didn't hold back his disagreement. " You can't be serious. "

" Having the Herald address the clerics is not a terrible idea." Josephine added, while tapping her left hands finger against her cheek in thought.

" They have only heard frightfull tales of you. Give them something else to belive. "

" Mother isn't wrong ; at the moment, the chantrys strength is that they are a united in opinion." It was clear that the ambassador and the mother had simular ideas.

The spymaster, like their Commander shared a different opinion. " And we should ignore the danger to the Herold? "

" You needn't convince them all. You just need some of them to doubt. " Mother Giselle tried to reassure them, but it had not really worked, for most of them just exhanged worried eyes with each other.

" What do you think? " Cassandra asked next to Ithilwen. She looked up at the seeker, then back at the crowd gathered around the table.

" I don't know.. Will this even help? "

Cullen looked at her, then spoke. " I agree. It just lend the credence to the idea that we should care what the chantry says. "

" I will go with her. " Cassandra adressed the mother. " Mother, you said that you could provide names? "

" Yes, seeker." Giselle nodded.

" But.. Why? this is nothing but a-- "

" What choice do we have, Leliana? Right now we can't approach anyone for help with the Breach. " She turned her head to the Commander.

"Use what influence we have to call the clerics together. Once they are ready, we will see this through. "

 

" Herold, if you have a moment. " The mother walked away from the table and joined Ithilwen at her exit. They walked out together and stopped in the corridor. " How fares your quest in sealing the breach? "

" Frankly I'm not entirely sure. I have nothing to compare it too, but I've sealed any rift I've come across. "

" The task of sealing the breach is a heavy burden. Your humility is a nice pace, but be careful not to let it rule you. People will take advantage of that. The Chantry especially. "

" But isn't the Chantry all about being honest and helping people? Why would they take advantage of someone like that? " Ithilwen felt confused.

She chuckled. " Ahh, child. That is a nice sentiment, but I'm afraid the lust for power poisends even the most pure. We live in a world full with danger. Honesty may unfortunately lead you to your downfall. It is sad, I agree, but this is a dangerous time. But rest assured, you have people here to help you through your work ahed. "

" We remember Andraste. But even she did not to carry the chant of light alone. She had generals, advisors. Even her a husband, for a time. Do everything within your power, but remember those who would help you. " The mother gave her a gentle smile.

" Thank you mother, I will. " Ithilwen felt that she had a lot to learn about the chantry, and was eager to listen to the willing teaching mother.

" Take it for whatever it is worth. You walk a difficult path, and there is little enough I can do to aid you. In any case, I hope this inqusition proves less brutal then it's predessesor. "

" What do you mean? " Ithilwen looked at the mother with a reawakened interest.

" The original inquisition was formed after the first blight, well before the chantry as we know it. The inquisitor's were hunters of zealous, tracked and killed cultists and not to mention dangerous mages. As Andraste grew to power, the Inquisition came to her service. Instead of hunting those who would do harm, the inquisitors spread the chant of light.. With force. "

Ithiwlen felt shocked, and disgusted. " And we're named after that? No wonder everyone seems so nervous around us. " She tilted her head a bit to the side. " Who chose that name? "

" Divine Justinia herself. " Ithilwen couldn't avoid her eyebrows from furrowing, and the mother saw it. She too grew a serious expression. " I understand this was not a popular decision. In any case, once the chant of light had spread far and wide, there were less need of zealots. The inquisitors became the seekers of truth, and eventually the templars. "

" This is a dark chapter of history for the Divine to revisit. " Ithilwen sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

The mother features became soft, and chuckled once again. " True, but do you know what truly impresses me most about the original inquisition? " Ithilwen listened, raising her head from her hand.

" They fought horrific battles, killed and died for their cause, and when it was time, they put their swords away. Perhaps the name was Divine Justinias message? That when the inquisition is needed it will strike without mercy. But once it's work is done It will put it's sword away. "

Ithilwen thought for it a while. It was a nice sentiment. Hopefully she wouldn't let her power rise to her head. " I shall not take any more of your time. " Ithilwen bowed, and when she was about to go the mother spoke again. " Oh, and Mistress Lavellan? " She tilted her back to Mother Giselle.

" Do not be afraid to speak with me again. I see that you have troubles of your own and are willing to listen. " Ithilwen gave her a soft smile and nodded. She went through the corridor and out to the courtyard.

 

Ithilwen had retreated to the tavern, alone. She felt tired. Not only because of the lack of sleep, but the whole Herald thing seemed to become even more complicated. She feared for her travel to Val Royeaux. Would she be able to handle it? She looked at her marked hand. The green magic slumbers deep within it. And she could do nothing about it. Others saw it as a sign of the maker. Even alone in the tavern people would hush and stare at their so-called-prophet .

She layed down her head between her arms against table. Sitting by a chair had been a new experience as well. Life was so different from her nomadic lifestyle compared to the village. Not only the obvious changes, like shoes, beds, chairs and tables and let's not stop with the food! But the spirit of the place. This was home. Somewhere people could let down their roots and have a life. She had come to care for Haven, for it brought stability, a nice set of change from being afraid of outstaying their welcome when traveling with the Dalish.

The elves in the cities felt more open and honest, if a bit ignorant, than her brothers and sisters in her clan. _Well, of course. They think me a monster, while these sees me as a god._ Maybe she would do better to convert to the maker.

_What, and deny my heritage?_

 

 _What_ heritage?

 

Solas knew _far_ more than her brethren. Even more than her father.

She felt herself breathe harder. What would _he_ do to her clan once he found out she was gone? Did they think she was dead? Maybe it was just as well. She didn't feel any sort of kinship with them and they not with her, but she knew _him_. He would kill them, slaughter them on the spot, no doubt. And Sadron.

It felt like a knife pierced her heart whenever she imagined him. He would blame himself. He probably does.

But there was nothing she could do about it. They had no time or the resources to look for them and she had other things to do. She rose up from her chair and ventured back to the ambassadors room. She had to leave some samples for Minave. She hadn't talked much with her, but from what she understood she had been part of a dalish clan just like Ithilwen. But she was thrown out, because she had magic.

Just another evidence that the dalish had a shrewd and wrong ideas on how to take care of their own. She had pretended that they were all saints while in truth they were just as horrible as despicable as she had been told that the humans was. There were no difference between them, besides the length on their ears.

 She almost threw opend the door to the ambassador's courters and was greeted by a nobleman with a mask on his face. Ithilwen stared while observing the man. Why did he dress like _that?_

 

" The inquisition cannot remain, ambassador! For you cannot prove it was founded by Justinia's orders! "

" This is an innopportune time, Marquis, more faithfull flock here each day. " Josephine gave Ithilwen a grateful look as she had opend the door. _Perfect timing!_

" --But allow me to introduce you to the brave sould who risked her life to slow the magic of the breach, Mistress Lavellan. " Ithilwen bowed in a simple fashion, while the guest seemed to stretch himself longer. He put his right foot before the other and let his hands rest on his hips, while tilting his chin upwards. He looked like a peacock and Ithilwen thought he was trying to insult her, but she kept her face blank.

" And this is of course the Marquis Durellion, one of Divine Justinias greatest supporters. "

" AND the rightful owner of Haven. " The Marquis ended his pose and stood relaxed on the floor. " House DuRellion lend this land for pilgrimage. This inquisition is not a benefactory arrangement. "

" This is the first I've heard of Haven having an owner outside the chantry. " Her brows furrowed just a bit, but enough to anger the noble.

" My wife, lady Machen of Denerim, claims Haven from an ancient treaty with the monarchs of Ferelden! We were honored to lend this place too late Divine Justinia. She is.. She was a woman with supreme merit. " His face, even though covered behind a mask, showed sadness. But only for a moment, for anger caught him once again. He pointed his finger at the elf before him.

" I will not let an upstart order remain on her holy grounds. "

Ithilwen felt the anger bubble up. He would let people die rather having them staying on land that was borrowed to them just to keep face? She cooled and spoke with a pleading voice. She knew most people seemed to listen to her when she looked like a small child.

" Marquis, please. The people here will have no where else to go. They will freeze and starve to death if we turn them away. Let us do what we can. At least for the time being. "

" We face a dark time, your grace. Divine Justinia would not want her passing to divide us. She would, in fact, trust us to forge new alliances to the benefit of all. No matter how strange they may seem. " Josephine had did it. The Marquis has softened and stood weak before the two woman.

" I.. Of course. I could at least think about it, lady Montilyet. The inquisition might stay in the meantime. "

" Thank you, this means a lot to me. And the inquisition. " Ithilwen bowed humbled and gave him a heartfull smile. But it was only a sham. Truth was she felt like she could squeeze him to death between her hands. The man seemed pleased and went for the door. Ithilwen made sure to watch the Marquis exit the chantry before continuing her conversation with the ambassador.

" Do the DuRellion actaully have claim to this place? "

" His grace is claim isn't as strong as he presents it. Despite their Ferelden relations, the Durellions are orlesian. IF the marquis wishes to claim Haven, empress Celene herself must negotiate with Ferelden on his behalf. Her current concerns however are a bit larger than minor property disputes. "

" I apologize for the intrusion. Had I known you were in the middle of a meeting I would-- "'

" You did little harm. The debate was mostly benefictional as practice for those to come. "

" You expect more people in Haven? "

" Undoubtedly. And each visitor will spread the story of the inquisition after they depart. Meeting you can only increase our reputation. You are the Herold, after all. Josephine turned and walked to her desk. She placed her notepad on the left side while placing herself in her cushioned chair. " An ambassador should insure that the tale is a complementary as possible. "

" If you don't mind me asking.. " Josephine waved off her insurity. " I don't mind. Ask away. "

" What brought you to the inquisition? "

" Sister Leliana approached me. We've been acquainted for quite some time. For better or worse being the inquisitions diplomat has become as interesting as she promised. "

What sorts of dealings have you had with the nobility?

" For some years I was the royal court ambassador from Antiva to Orlais. The nobility of Thedas is a rather singular for. Those I'm not acquainted with I know through reputation. "

" Oh.. We sure are lucky to have you in the Inquisition then. I would never be able to do that. "

Josephine chuckled. " Thank you, let us hope so. Thedas politics has become..adutated as of late. I hope to guide us down smoother paths. but please excuse me, for I have much work to do. " Ithilwen gave her a bow and turned to exit.

" Oh, and Mistress Lavellan? " Ithilwen turned half around to look at Josephine. " Don't be to hard on yourself. I cannot close rifts or throw fireballs. We all have our own uses. " The ambassador gave her a happy smile and waved in farewll. Ithilwen blushed, smiled and nodded. She greeted Minave, gave her some samples and went her way.

 

 

Ithilwen was lost in thought after her conversation and didn't see where she was going when she exited the Chantry and had bumped into Solas who almost fell backwards at the impact.

" Wha-- Oh, Solas! Forgive me. I didn't see you there. "

" Ahh, don't worry, dal'en.. " His eyes still were closed, and his hand rested on his forehead. He obviously wasn't alright. He looked tired.

Ithilwen put her hand on his shoulder, which made him open his eyes and look at her.

" Are you sure you should be up, hahren? " She gave him a worried look.

" Hamin, dal'en. I am fine. I only wished to speak with you. "

" Of course. But let us retire, for I feel weary. "

 

They went to her small house. It was cold, but the servants had taken the liberty of placing a thick carpet on her floor since she didn't use shoes. It felt nice between her toes.

" I must remember to thank the servants later! This is amazing! " She cooed over the soft material under the souls of her feet. "Come! Feel it for yourself " She took hold of Solas shirt and dragged him over to her place on the carpet. She had not intended to, but he had been dragged with such force that he almost fell on her. She remembered the rock wall that she had crushed and blushed. " Ah, sorry, I did not mean to pull so hard. "

Solas stared at her and wondered where she had gotten such strength. He then felt the carpet under his feet. It did feel nice. They stood quiet for a while before he saw her shiver. It was freezing.

She bend down at the small fireplace and made an effort to turn on a fire with her flint, but solas simply gestured at it, making it turn a flame. Ithilwen looked back at him with a smirk.

" I could have done it. "

" I know you could. But it would have taken longer. "

She fell to the floor with her legs crossed, patting on the ground before her. Her face had taken a serious turn. He placed himself before her with his hands on his knees.

" And that is the reason I wish to speak with you, dal'en. "

She froze, then she sighed and gave him a serious expression.

" I know where you intend to go, but hear me, hahren. Using magic is not important to me. "

" I know that you feel so, but ignoring your gift could be as dangerous as using it. "

" Please, Solas. Enough. "

But he hadn't had enough. She was a fool. Ignoring her abillites could result in something else, what if she would turn into a demon, or be trapped in a situation where she could have used magic to get out?

" No, Dal'en. You need to listen. What if we were to be overnumberd, or fall into a trap like we did in Valhammar? " She tensed up, her figners digged into her knees. Why did he need to torment her with that memory again?

" Yes, you used magic that time, but imagine the consequences if it would have missfired? What could have happend? I beg you, dal'en. " His hands had found her shoulders. " You have a gift! Let me teach you how to-- "

 

" It's not a gift! "

 

She picked up his hands and threw them away from her. 

Solas looked at her with shocked eyes. His hand were hovering in the air before his chest. He had never seen her that angry before, it was most unusual for her. " Why do you say so, dal'en? "

" My whole life has been decided for me. Because of magic. I will not let it control me any longer. " She had risen to her feet. He felt his head bult again and could not catch her as she went up. Anger swirled around her, made the air thicker. Before Solas could stop her she had walked to the door and opend it. She tilted her head so that she could eye Solas with a cold stare and snarled one last time.

 

" I wont. "

 

The door banged hard in her exit.

Solas stayed, for he did not have the energy to follow. Even as she had left the room it still felt heavy with irritation, and it affected him as well. Could it be because she hadn't slept?

Varric had told him a few days ago that he noticed a certain change in her. She felt angrier. She would not sleep and hardly ate. Then, he had seen her crush the rockwall outside the cave with her branded hand.  

_"You need to talk with her, none of us can. "_

He felt bad about pushing the issue, but he knew that she couldn't ignore it. Magic wasn't something you just threw away, or a hobby that you tired from and could place at a shelf. She needed to learn. He would wait for her.

 

But she never returned. Hours had went by before Solas finally lost interest and decided to return to his bed. He put out the last embers in the fire and headed outside. He saw Cullen come running.

 

" Solas! Have you seen the Herold? "

" No.. Not for a while. She hasn't been in her house. "

" Maker. " Cullen rubbed his temples, he was sweating, and his breath harsh from running.

" What's wrong? "

" We fear there may be an infiltrator from the Val Royeaux here, disguised as a guard. We've found several bodies behind the chantry two hours ago. Some of them I recognized, they had been stripped off their armors. "

Solas face turned white. " Ithilwen. "

" I fear that as well. "

" Then let us haste. "

Cullen had only told his captain and not any of his guards of the new threat. He did not want to risk alerting them and had talked with her inner circle instead. Blackwall and Cassandra had joined Cullen and Solas, while Josephine, Leliana and Varric looked out in the fields. Cullen ran down through the gate and heard Captain Rylen call for him from one of the watch towers along side the wall.

" Commander! The Herald is walking alongside the lake! And there is a company of men close to her! "

Solas and Cullen turned to face each other. She would not be able to handle all of them on her own.

 

She stood before the lake. The moon was up and lit up the ice on the frozen lake and it was beautiful. She had seen snow before she travelled to Ferelden, but not in this amount. She didn't wear shoes, but Solas had put an enchantment on her cloth, creating a small shell from the cold. She was still angry. She thought him to understand her, but he was just like her father, forcing her to become something she's not. At least he would not convert to violence.

Solas had turned out to be quite different from the man she had imagined all those years. The gentle teacher and father figure she had met in the temple now appeared as harsh, cold even. He wouldn't speak much, but he answered her questions, though with suspicion and hesitation. It's like he didn't want her to know him. He was just there for the breach and would run along as soon as it was dealt with.

Cullen on the other hand had guided and protected her. But he had not recognized her. Was she really just another elf? The thought felt bitter and sharp. _Or am I really overthinking things?_

She had presumed a lot of things. Mostly about her father being wrong about the world, being wrong about humans. But here she had first hand experience. She had seen how selfish people could be. How they exploited each other for their own gain.

She knew her clan wasn't much better. She had never felt any familiarity from them, except for Sadron. Would it be so horrible to marry him anyhow? Was love that important? He cared for her and that would be enough. But then she thought of his kiss. It had been deep, and filled with want. And she couldn't return it.

Wouldn't that love and care turn into hate and resentment in time?

 

"Pardon, Lady Herold. May I have a moment of your time? "

 

She lost her chain of thought, looked at the guard that stood with five other men a few feet away. She recognized him from the time he had opend the door to the war room a couple of weeks ago. What she found strange was his accent. It was orleasian. All the other guards of the Inquisition had a Fereldan origin.

" Is there something I can help you with? " She answered politely, but she didn't feel up for a chat about the maker. She had been caught by several villagers in the Hinterlands, begging for answers, and no matter how much she wanted too she could not give them pleasing answers. Cassandra had objected, but Ithilwen would not lie to them.

_" I don't belive myself to be the Herald of Andraste. "_

Some had cried, others spit at her naked feet, and one has ever tried to beat her. She don't blame them. They had lost so, so much, and then there's this hope of a new prophet. And she told them she did not believe. That was a lot to take in.

The guard walked over to her. His eyes shined with a strange flame. She had seen it before, but not from one of her allies.

 

" Oh, but you can certanily help me.. "

 

Before she could avoid it completely, the guard had stabbed her with a dagger. He had just pierced her side, but missed any vital organs. He cursed, but held her in the arm. She pushed him with her mana, for she had left her daggers in her house. He flew back and landed on one of his companions. The six men had drawn their weapons, and two of them were even mages.

She gasped from the sudden sting in her abdomen. Blood flowed from her wound, made her grey west stick to her wound. It quickly became red. She would stand no chance against them all on her own, and the safety from the walls was to far away. The guards had seen her being attacked for she could hear them ring the bells and yell in panic, but they would not be able to aid her. Not all the way out here.

She was alone.

But that also meant she would unleash her mana without any consequences. She felt her blood pump, hard. The charm had fallen off again, and it glows with anger at her hunters. She would show them what it really felt like being the prey. Some tensed up when they saw her eye, while the others became even more determined. She was a demon, and would die like one too.

She bowed down, feeling the flow of the energy around her. Her hands left her wound, and flowed before her in a circular move, drawing the mana like you would drag a rope. Anger and hate filled her very being. Anger was strong, unyielding. She was at her peak, not having to rely on magic in battle let her have a deep supply at her disposal.

They closed in on her quickly, trying to surround her. She let it happen, better to have them close for the impact. When she felt she couldn't wait any longer she spinned in a circle, kicking the flow of her magic at her enemies. They flew from her and landed on her backs. A few of them went up again. She smirked wickedly. their struggles would just make her victory all the sweeter. But she hadn't realized one had avoided her kick. She felt the daggers in her back.

Like a feral beast she turned around hissing at the rouge. The daggers still hanged from her back. Her hand closed around his arm she closed in on him in a heartbeat. She threw her jaws against his throat, ripping it out in one fast movement. She was lost in a trans and followed her instincts. Her nails worked as claws, and she aimed for the next soldier. She easily flew over him, scraping his chest and throat. When he stopped moving at the ground she jumped back up and saw a new target. He was shaking with fear and held his sword up.

" No--No more! I yeild! "

She stood there for a moment, breathing hard. But after a few seconds she leaped against him raising her claws. She didn't manage to get to him though, for another of the fake guards had bashed her down with shield. She stared up the guard, eyes filled with rage, her mouth and hands dripping with blood.

Suddenly Solas was standing there, using his staff to block the blade that had been aimed for her, but not without difficulty. He was wounded after all and staggered backwards, having a hard time to keep his staff up. Finally he pushed him away with his mana but fell on one of his knees. Luckily enough for them the enemy had passed out from the wave of energy. Cassandra and Cullen attacked the other men, one after one fell dead to the ground, but Blackwall had captured two of them, including the one Solas had pushed back.

Solas turned around to Ithilwen, who still was on the ground. He reached out his hand in order to pull her up, but in return she clenched her teeth around his wrist. Her eye pulsated, the eye white has become black and the veins in her left side of her face glowed green. Her hand glowed as well and twitched from the raw power it held.

Cullen had trotted over to the elves and gasped shocked at the state of the Herold. Not only was she covered in blood, her eye looks even more vicious than ever before. And she had bitten Solas. Actually bitten him. Solas felt the pain, but didn't move a muscle.

" Hamin, Ma eth dal'en. Na harillen halam. "

She still held her teeth around him, ignoring his words. He began anew and whispered soothing sounds to Ithilwen, calming her down. Solas put his free hand on her cheek, let his mana flow into her mind and called for her. The others stared at them.

_" Ithilwen. "_

Her eyes widened in recognition, then started to slowly close and he felt the grip around his arm loosened. Exhausted from the experience she fell forward, landing in Solas arms. She had dozed off. He sighed and lifted her up. He held her there for a moment, releasing the breath he didn't know he had held. He turned around to face the Commander.

" What.. was that? " Cassandra asked.

" I do not know. " Solas whisperd.

 _Of course you know. She's becoming **you**._ The guilt hammerd hard into him. This had never been his intent. He looked down on her blood covered face. She was but a child, and yet she would be the one to carry this burden for him.

" Is it because of the mark? She's never had this kind of problem before. " Cassandra, despite her fears went forward to Solas and patted the girls head.

" Then we make sure it doesn't happen again! " Cullen grunted. He looked at Ithilwen who slept safely in the other elfs arms.  _She will never be able to forgive herself for this._

" What do we do with this? " Blackwall held their new prisoners.

" Do whatever you want, just keep that--that _thing_ away! " The younger man yelled out.

" Throw him in the dungeon. I wish to know their plans. " Cullen ordered.

 

Solas didn't allow anyone in to the small house. He slowly dragged out the daggers from her back and placed her in her bed on her belly and began to undress her upper body. The injuries on her back began to sow themselves together. Astonished he stood by her side and observed the process. The wounds had simply vanished. Probably because of the flow of magic in the mark. Solas furrowed his brows. This was unlike anything he ever had seen.

Not many has the ability to self heal. Some of their elven patrons had, long ago. But to think that she might become immortal would be.. He decided to go and make something hot for her to drink in case she would wake up. He had just returned through the door and began to mix some potions together when he heard her voice behind him

 

" Hahren? What are you doing? "

 

He turned around, shocked and with a dropped jaw.

" Wha.. Something wrong? " She blushed and let her eyes slide to the carpet. And yes. Something was wrong. Severely wrong. Dried blood was still covering most part of her face and hands and her clothes had been ripped into to shreds. But she simply stood there, oblivious to it all.

Then she noticed her bloodstained toes. Then her clothes, and her clawlike hands.

" Wha.. What is this? "

Solas couldn't look away, nor utter any words. She looked him in the eyes, pleading for answers.

" Did I do this? "

" It wasn't your fault, dal'en. The mark did this to you. "

Her eyes doubled in size. " What do you mean the mark? "

" You.. You was lost in a... Before we managed to stop yo-- "

" I really am a monster. " She looked at her blood covered hands.

" No, this was not your doing. " His hands found her shoulders.

" YES it was! I felt the anger! And I embraced it! " He felt her shudder in her left arm. He remembered Varric's words.

_"You need to talk with her, none of us can. "_

" Dal'en.. Are you hurting? "

She frozed and he forced her to look at him. " Is the mark causing you pain? "

Tears started to flow through her eyes. " How did you.. " Panic caught her then, she closed her hands around the collar of his shirt. " You cannot tell anyone! Especially not Cullen, or Cassandra! They would worry! " She saw her red hands and let go of him and gasped. " I killed them. I killed them with my own hands. " His eyes had widend but he quickly regained his cool, letting his hand flow over her hair.

"Atisha, Dal'en. it was not your fault. They attacked you. "

" But I butchered them! Like a savage dog! I gave in! "

" You need to be able to control it. Anger may make you stronger, in a sense, but magic defines your spirit as well. If you only use anger as a source it will pollute you. "

" I don't know how to do it otherwise. "

 

 Solas smiled and took hold of her shoulders.

 

" Hamin, dal'en. I will teach you. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meetings, so. Many. MEETINGS.
> 
> But seriously. I thought that the meetings in the War room were a little dull in game, and I had not really introduced Mother Giselle earlier. Some Josephine time as well. Her coversations are a bit boring in the beginning, but she is a stunning character.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Ma - you, mine, my  
> eth - safe  
> atisha - peace  
> dal'en - little child  
> hahren - elder, teacher  
> felas - slow  
> na - your  
> Hamin - relax, calm  
> harillen - struggle  
> halam - the end, finished  
> Hamin, Ma eth dal'en. Na harillen halam - Relax, you (r) safe, child. Your struggle ( is ) over  
> na inan - your eyes.  
> " Emma souveri. Na inan, sahlin. "- I am weary. Your eye, now.


	6. Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen decides to give magic another chance.

 

 

Solas led Ithilwen to the center of the frozen lake, close to where the battle with the fake guards had took place two days ago. He turned and faced his student. Ithilwen could see the traces of blood from her battle and it pained her deeply. The memory was still fresh within her mind.

" Do we really need to be here? Right over there I.. "

" You will have to fight your fears. No more running away. Trust me. "

She closed her eyes and sighed. " I trust you. "

" Then let us sit. "

 Solas walked backwards a few steps and fell on his knees. Ithilwen did the same.

" Before we begin, do you have any knowledge about the four elements, Dal'en? "

" You mean water, air, earth and fire? "

" The very same. "

" What does that have to do with anything? "

" Do you know which element you're connected with? " Solas eyed his pupil with a strange expression. She thought he looked kind of hungry, but not the sort of hunger where you need to eat. She then thought back to every lesson she had with father and Deshanna. Every battle. What her mana felt like. 

" Air. "

Solas smiled, and his eyes became even more intense. " And do you understand why it's so important for you to rely on happines and joy instead of anger? "

" Air is the element of the soul. "

" Correct again. Wind, as you just told me, is part of every living thing that exists. It is the representation of all that we cannot see: our souls, our spirits, our minds, and our hearts - of that what lies beneath or beyond as some scholars say. Purity of the spirit and the heart, clarity of thought within the mind, focus of intent, unhindered sight, are all under the control of the clear soaring unfettered Element of Air. "

" This is not part of what I learned with my keeper. "

" No, I suspect not. I learned magic differently, by studying old memories in the fade. Before, during the age of Arlathan. The ancient elves focused on one of the elements and made it a part of themselves, an through it became the different schools that we uses today. "

" So what you're saying is that we draw our power from the elements around us? What about all the talk of the Beyond? "

" In a sense, we do draw our magic from the fade, but it is possible to get that from around us from the element which our spirit is connected with. A real master may use all of the elements. " He took pause and thought for a quick moment before continuing.

" For example, earth and water is connected with the Creation school, for it uses the natural flow from earth and water around us in order to create something from something old. It transforms, while others destroys. Creation requires considerable finesse, more than any other school, and is therefore rarely mastered. Entropy is the opposing force of Creation; for this reason it is often called the School of Negation, and that is born from fire, which swallows and destroys. "

" Which element speaks to you, Solas? "

" Water. It is the element of support. All living things need it, but to much and you will drown. Like the sea it have two sides of one coin. It can flip and reveal another side. "

" Is there any difference between my clans magic and the magic taught in the circles? "

" No, and yes. Magic is magic, just as water is water. But it can be used in different ways. Dalish magic is more practical, not needing chantry approval. Although most frown upon blood magic. Superstition. Much of it is more subtle. Legacy from when the elves were immortal. The dalish have a fond love for the nature, and therefore mostly use creation, an honorable goal, since there are few masters in that school. You having air is a bit unusual. "

" And there's no difference with blood magic and normal magic? "

Solas chuckled heartily. " Lucky for you that Cassandra isn't within earshot. Most modern cultures forbid blood magic. Publicly even Tevinter disapproves of it. But as I said, magic is magic. It matters only how it is used. But as you may have heard blood magic makes it harder to enter the fade, maybe because it draws it's power from blood, and not the fade. You understand why I never bothered to learn it. "

Ithilwen thought for a short moment. " I don't really have enough knowledge or experience to judge. " 

" A wise attitude. But even inaction is still an action. Always be aware. "

Another question came to her mind. " Did the ancient elves use magic in order to expand their lifespans? "

Solas got a sad expression. " No. It was simply part of being elvhen. The subtle beauty of the magic was the effect, not the cause of their nature. Some spells took years to cast. Echoes would linger for centuries, harmonising with new magic. In an neverending symphony.. " He sat quiet a while, before adding one last line. " It must have been beautiful. "

Ithilwen felt the change of mood, and felt it was time to learn whatever he wanted to teach her. " So, how will make the mark listen to me? "

" I fear it never will listen completely. It is part of you now, and so you must accept it as if it was your own foot. But you cannot give in to its power either. "

" So, I can't yield, nor I can fight it? Then how will I be able to-- "

" We will begin with small steps. You have learned to draw your magic from your anger, and you need to regain the balance with your spirit, for the mark feeds from it as well. By meditation and circulation of your mana. "

" It's.. It's that simple? Just releasing my mana? " Ithilwen looked at him in confusion. Solas smiled back.

" Not just releasing it. We will cast in small pulses and then take it back. You force back your mana, and that puts your soul out of balance, it is a sort of a shock. You need to be calm. "

Ithilwen took a deep breath. " I'm ready. "

" Wind is felt. But to successfully become one with the wind your heart needs to be pure. It needs to be free of lingering hates. Try to find purpose in your past. Forgive and look past old grudges. Don't look back at your past as a leverage, but as a stepping stone to who you have become. "

 

Ithilwen and Solas meditated till the sun stood at it's peak. Solas energy felt like waves of the sea, pulling itself back and then returning with strong force. It felt soothing, but it made her loose her concentration a few times. Once she even opend her eyes to observe the man in front of her. She couldn't hold back a gasp. Like pulses mana flowed back and fourth to him on the ground. He glowed like a stone in the water with a green and blue shimmer. She stared at him, forgetting to breath. His features were relaxed and he looked like complete different person, younger and without any sort of troubles.

" Concentrate, dal'en. " His voice had come so suddenly that she felt like she had jumped two meters up in the air. His eyes remain closed. It felt even harder to concentrate now. She could hear Solas chuckle.

_The NERVE! Here I am trying to do my best and he laughs!  
_

" Hamin, dal'en. Don't give in to the aggression.Think positive and try to understand your anger. Find a happy memory and hold to that thought. Let it guide you. "

She snorted, shut her eyes and fell into her thoughts once again. A happy memory. Happy happy happy. Her mind fell to the first meeting with Cullen. The scrubble his chin. It made her smile, but it was to impulsive, and heartfluttering! She needed something calm and with serenity.

 

The muddy ground had turned into green grass and where there had been an endless road there now was an ocean. He took her hand in his and rose up from the earth. He smiled, a beautiful and calm smile, his ocean grey eyes danced in the setting sun. He led her to the edge of the cliff and they could smell the salt in the air. The waves hit the shore, hard and without any mercy. Birds dived into the water, erupting with fish in their peaks. She squeezed his hand, she didn't want it to end. She wanted to be there forever, with him.

 

" Now cast. "

 

She cast away a pulse with her mana. It flowed away.

" And take it back, gently "

She called back for it, not in the way she had called for it before. She would have dragged it back with force and it would have hit her hard. Instead she let out a small hum. Slowly the mana crept back, puffs of snow trailed back on the ice and it started to surround her. It felt like a small breeze started to circulate around her.

" Good. Again. "

She threw away a smaller amount and it returned to her once again, filling her being. It whisperd around her. Strings from her silver white hair dashed around in the gentle pulsating wind.

" One last time. " He observed her now. Small snowflakes surrounded her in the air, they glimmered in the sunlight. It had been trashed up in her spell and and trailed up in circles around her. This time she blew out mana from her mouth, a long and peaceful breath. A soft tune hummed from her throat. A feminine mild tone, like an echo. Astonished he gazed upon his pupil. She continued casting and reversing her mana like a true master. They had been doing this for hours and she never seemed to run out of energy. He went forward and touched her shoulders gently.

" This is a good place to stop for today. " She slowly opend her eyes, and looked at her teacher. She gave him a soft smile and rose up from the ice. The two elves walked back in scilence. There was no need for any words. The pain would still linger in her eye and hand, but it did not bother her as much as it had earlier. She had someone she could trust, and that was help enough.

 

 

Cullen was busy overseeing his recruits train at the encampment outside of the village. But his thoughts were somewhere else. He had been visiting her for these last two days, but when he went to her house this morning she was gone, as was Solas. It irritated him that the elf clung to her so tightly. He had done this before, when Cullen found her at the Breach.

There was nothing Cullen could do to ease the pain she so obviously displayed, stuck in her sleep. The mark had been growing for days, but she would remain unconscious. Sometimes she would fly up with tormented screams, screaming in elvhen. It took them several men to be able to hold her down, they even chained her and put cloth in her mouth so she wouldn't bite her tongue off.

Solas was the only mage willing to be close to her, and would stay with her day and night. But this time Cullen felt more.. Defensive about the matter. He had only known the girl for a short while, but she had an affect on him. Her smile would remain in his thoughts, her shadow was even more visible then the people surrounding him. She haunted him. For good and for worse. His Lieutenant woke him up with a question he hadn't heard. Instead he saw one of the recruits slack off.

" YOU there! " Cullen raised his hand to the shivering recruit. " It's a shield! Block with it! Had this been a real fight you would have been dead. " He tilted his head to the left in order to speak with his right hand man. " Lieutenant. Don't hold back. The recruits must prepare for a real fight, not a practice one. "

" Yes commander. "

Cullen turned to the left and almost bumped into Ithilwen who suddenly had appeared out of thin air. He stared at her for a few seconds before regaining his posture. She wore a different outfit. The clothes that had been given her by the inquisition had been destroyed in the battle two days ago. Now she wore a blue tunic that was was very low in the front. with bare arms and grey stockings that traced her long legs down to her feet. He had seen her Vallaslin before, but not the ones stretching out on her arms. He felt himself blush as he observed the line over her breasts.

She stood quietly besides him, waiting for him to speak. He wanted to talk about the evening on the ice, but felt himself chicken out. They couldn't talk about that, not now. Not here, but he also had a hard time to come up with a subject. He didn't need to conjure one in the end though. She made that choice for him.

" Training the newest members of the Inquisition, Commander? "

" We've.. " He cleared his throat and spoke with more confidence. " We've received a number of recruits. Locals from Heaven and some pilgrims. None made _quite_ the entrance you did.

" Ah well. I like to stand out. " She joked with a sad smile

" That you do.. " He felt himself losing control and getting hotter. She certainly has a way with a crowd.

" So, how did you end up in the Inquisition? " She looked at him now, with curiosity in her eyes. He had a hard time to return to reality and actually answer her question.

" I was recruited in Kirkwall. " He began to walk down the path between the training men in order to observe those in the back. She followed him at his side. One of Leliana's scouts rushed forward giving him his report. _Thank the maker._ He would not have to look at her now.

" I was there during the mage uprising--I saw firsthand the devastation it caused. Cassandra sought a solution. When she offered me a position I left the templars to join her cause. Now it seems we face something far worse. "

Ithilwen looked away, gazing upon the training men. One of them met her eyes for a brief moment and seemed to quicken his pace. He aimed for his opponent with hard strikes. Unfortunately the other one found an opening and felled him. He looked on Ithilwen in embaressment while the others laughed. She giggled as well, pulling her hand to her mouth, which made the poor young man even more distressed. One of the reqruits friend hanged his arm around his shoulders and gave him reassuring shakes. After a while she finally spoke.

 

" Do you think the Inquisition will work? "

 

Cullen stared at her with his jaw dropped. Did she doubt them? Did she doubt  _him_? The feeling from doubt never felt good, and hearing that from their icon made it even worse. " Of course! " She looked back at Cullen. He felt like reassuring her--No! Make her _belive_ their cause. Belive in _him_.

" The chantry lost control of both the templars and the mages. Now they argue over a new Divine while the Breach remains. The Inquisition could act when the Chantry could not. Our followers would be part of that! There's so much we could.. " He trailed off. The discussion was getting heated again. " Forgive me.. I doubt you came for a lecture. " He turned away his burning face. She had been through a hellish night and didn't need him to go on.

" No, but if you have one prepared I'd love to hear it! " 

He chuckled at her joke. " Another time perhaps. " He eyed her from the side only for a breif moment and there! A smile. Not that awkard embaressed smile she so often displayed, but a confident and.. She winked? She did! She actually winked! He felt his cheeks turn even hotter. He needed to get out of here, his legs went weak. " I ehh.." He cleared his throat.

" There's still much work ahead.. " He didn't know where to avert his gaze. Luckily enough for him the scout from before came back with another message.

" Ser! Sir Rylen have a report on the supply lines. " Cullen turned back one last time to Ithilwen.  _Payback time._

" As I was saying.." He gave her the most suggestive smirk he could muster before venturing forward together with the scoat, only to hear her gasp behind him. He felt himself smile even wider. So she wasn't immune to his charms. _Good to know._

 

Ithilwen still stood where Cullen had left her. She felt her cheeks burn red and hot. Her hands flew up to her face and she shook from side to side, trying to keep down the whimper that she wanted to scream out. Cassandra had observed the little display from a distance, chuckeling into her hand. She really was something.

 

Leliana had brought Ithilwen to the war room. Almost everyone from her inner circle was there, except from Varric. Cullen stood deep in thought while observing one small sea chart that layed displayed on the great table.

" Fill me in, Commander. "

Cullen snapped back, noticing Ithilwen and Leliana. He cleared his throat and began to speak so that everyone in the room could hear. " Mother Giselle have ordered for a meeting in Val Royeaux, you are to attend in about one week.

" That is good news. "

" We have admitted a sea captain to take you there in secret. Since the last assassination attempt.."

Blackwall took on a dark expression and banged his hand in the table. " So it really was planned? Do you know by whom? " 

" It must have been planned from the very beginning. I recognized the man that attacked me first. He used to guard this very room. "

Cullen looked surprised at the calm elf. She showed no expression whatsoever. Earlier she would have covered in the corner. " But he cannot have been alone, right? Was he sent by a higher authority? "

It wasn't to difficult to find that out since.. " Leliana eyed Ithilwen. " Well, since your accident. " She tossed a parchment, marked with a chantry symbol on the table.  " According to our little assassin, a certain Cleric called Anastasia is the employer. She has been known to risen high in a short time. I will notify you as soon as I know more. " Leliana kept her face blank.

" Then what should we do? Should we attack back, or let it rest? Accusing her would not work I assume? " Blackwall inspected the piece of paper on the table.

" No, probably not. The only lead we have is our prisoner, and he is an assassin. He might as well be lying. " Cullen stated.

Josephine placed her notepad on the table, allowing her hand to rest on her chin. " But what would be her motive to begin with? The Chantry want the Herold humiliated publicly. Removing her now would not gain them anything. "

 

" Maybe the one that blew up the temple of sacred ashes. " Ithilwen suggested coldly.

 

They stood there for a while, absorbing what just had been said. A mother might have been behind the murder of Divine Justinia after all. It felt bitter, and unnerving, to say the least.

Cassandra gasped, then let her hands fall to the table. " Then.. We have a clue, a suspect! "

 " Doesn't matter, Cassandra. With our low influence we are in no position to charge her, nor hunt her. If we cannot charge her for the attempt of my life we have even a lower chance to accuse her of the murder on the Divine. We must deal with the Breach first. Maybe then the Chantry will listen to our pleads. " Ithilwen looked at her with calm eyes.

Solas observed Ithilwen quietly. He knew the girl  for being intelligent. But this sudden change was surprising, even to him. Where had she learned to keep her cool like that?

Cassandra shut her eyes, sighed and rose from the table. She was right. They stood no chance for the meantime. At least they had a clue.

 " Anyway, as I said before you are to take ship to the capital. That way we limit the chance of infiltration and you wont have to make any stops on the way. We've already appointed a seacaptain to take you there. "

" Do we even know this sea captain? " Josephine asked.

 

" It's admiral now, actually. "

 

A dark skinned woman with a blue handkerchief around her black hair entered the war room together with Varric. She carried a lot of jewelry, earrings, piercings and most noticeable a heavy necklace portraying a cobra made by pure gold, ornate with gems. She placed herself at the center of the room with her hands at the sides of her curvy hip. A blue admiral jacket cladded her shoulders, but the front piece of her tunic hardly covered her enormous breasts. She wore high boots up to her knees since she lacked pants. Cullen groaned in disapproval from the other side of the table.

 

" Well, this is Isa--" The woman cut Varric off

"--Isabela, Queen of the Eastern Seas la di da. " She laughed and moved forward and placed herself right before Ithilwen. The Admiral eyed her hungerly with her golden eyes.

So _you're_ the precious little herald? " She chuckled with a hearty tone. " I now understand why people are so eager to get their hands on you. I admit I would not mind a taste for myself. " She stroke her finger across Ithilwen's chin suggestively. Ithilwen, as clueless as ever just looked at the woman before her, unsure how to handle the situation. The confidence she had displayed earlier was gone now.

Cullen blushed and with lightning speed he had run around the table and placed himself between the pirate and Ithilwen.

And of course Cullen! _Commander_ now as I understand! My, I haven't seen you since the rebellion. " She rolled her long jeweled index finger around one of his golden locks. " Heard anything from the guard captain? "

" They have been invaded by Starkhaven. "

" Ah, right. His Royal Highness. "

Varric grunted behind the pirate. Isabela took the hint, closed in on Cullen, planted a a little kiss on his cheek and continued her way to the war table. Ithilwen blushed hard and turned to the table as well. Cullen, who was used to the pirates ways saw Ithilwen and blushed himself. He wanted to bang his head against the wall. What if she misunderstood? _Why, Maker? Why?"_

We will go from the West Hill. My ship and crew is waiting for us at the docks there. It will take about one week to reach Val Royeaux. Everything is ready if you wish to leave now. "

" Then we will leave first thing tomorrow. "

" Of course your holiness. I _eagerly_ await your command. And do not be afraid to come and talk with me, _anytime_. " She stroked Ithilwen cheek and winked suggestively before exiting with the grunting dwarf.

" Geez, Rivani, take it easy. Been stuck on the seas too long, have you? "

" Oh you have no idea, Varric. There don't happen to be a brothel around here? "

The door closed and Ithilwen stood dumbfounded for quite a while. She felt like she could crack at any moment. All her calm that she has gained from meditation with Solas had just been destroyed. Solas looked at the girl besides him. He didn't know if he should laugh or comfort her. Finally the girl cleared her throat and turned to the others at the war table.

" Well.. That was.. Different. "

The others looked at each other for a short moment. Then all of them started to laugh.

 

They were ready for departure. Cullen and Leliana watched Ithilwen and Josephine talk with some of the dockworkers. They had been honored to meet the Herald and wouldn't miss it for the world. It had been decided that Josephine would follow her on this trip, since Cassandra wasnt the best when it came to teach. Ithilwen would have to learn how to handle the nobles in Val Rayoux, and traveling by ship allowed her more time to do that then while going by horse. Varric and Solas had joined her for her trip. Even Blackwall had offerd to come. Ithilwen and Varric turned one last time to Cullen before going omboard.

" Do be careful, Lady Lavellan. " Cullen took hold of her shoulders and gave her a worried expression. Ithilwen gave him an rather amused smile back. " I promise, I wont' speak with any strangers. "

Cullen sighed, felt like giving her a smack in the back of her head. " Oh ho ho, very funny. " She giggled.

Suddenly Isabela hanged one of her arms around Ithilwen and placed her other hand on Varric's shoulder. " Ahh, the ever so charming Commander. Don't worry, she's perfectly safe with me! " She gave Ithilwen a small kiss on her cheek. Ithilwen lost her inner struggles and blushed pink.

Cullen groaned and watched them depart to the ship. Leliana giggled besides him.

 

Ithilwen waved off Cullen and Leliana eagerly from the ships reeling, Blackwall and Varric stood besides her.

" Are you that exited over the trip, Silver? " 

" Oh yes! " She leaned in and out from the reeling. " This is much better then the time I took ship from kirkwall! Last time I hid in a barrel in the cargo hold and only had a piece of old bread to hang on to. I don't know if I got seasick or food poisoned. "

" That's the worst thing you've ever eaten? Hah! I had this imported ham from the Andersfells once. It tastes like despair. " Varric shook his shoulders and head with a disgusted shudder. " Literally. "

" Haha! Then you probably got to wash it down with with an expensive wine. I once had a two year old hardtack cheese. You hardly could scrape off the blue anymore. "

" How.. How is that even possible? " Ithilwen looked at Blackwall with an amused and shocked expression, her brows twisted. She was about to laugh. 

" You just try no to look. " He gave her a grim look, but then fell in laughter.

 

The trip didn't become so exiting after all. Ithilwen had hoped to spend some time outside on deck,observing the sea but Josephine had her cooped up in her cabin. She had to learn how to walk, how to talk. It had been fun in the beginning, but after a while it became tiresome and repetitive. One of the hardest changes was to her own suprise learning how to appreciate her bed. She was used to the hard and cold ground, not the softness from cushioned madresses. But since they had to share quarters sleeping on the floor would make it impossible to move around. Sometimes Ithilwen snuck up on deck and would climb up to one of the platforms and fall asleep there. Blackwall had carried her back and tucked her in her bed. Josephine and Blackwall began to speak more often, and that allowed the opportunity to be outside.

They were close to their destination, but decided to have dinner before they arrived at the docks in Val Royeaux. All, with the exception from from Isabela and her crew was there. Josephine placed herself at the dinner table with a heavy sigh.

" We'll finally reach our destination within the hour. I tire of this old smelly ship. It's like being trapped in a cave. Oh, I wont be able to get the stench of fish from my dresses for weeks! "

" Josephine, no one forced you to stay under deck. " Cassandra laughed.

" Speaking of which, what's it like living under ground, Varric? " Ithilwen asked Varric.

" I don't know Silver. I was born up top. "

" So you never miss life beneath the earth? The call of the stone? " Solas inquired with curiosity.

" Oh no, whatever the stone, capital Ess is it was gone by the time my parents had me. "

" But, do you _miss_ it? "

" How can I miss what I never had? " Solas was about to answer when Varric cut him off, he lifted his hand in a swift gesture.

"-- But let's say I had this sense, that connection to the stone ; what would it cost me? " He paused and let them take in what just had been said. " Would I lose my friends up here? Would I stop telling stories? " He lowered his hand on the table and looked at Solas with a serious expression. " I like who I am -- If I want to hear songs, I go to the tavern. "

Solas studied the dwarf for a short moment. " You are wiser than the most. Mind if I ask you another question? "

" Go ahed. "

" Is true that the entire dwarven economy relies on the lyrium trade? "

" Mostly. We got the nug market cornered as well. " Varric added with a small grunt.

" And the dwarves have never studied it? "

" If they have they certanily haven't shared anything up here. Why? "

" It's the source of all magic. Save what the mages brings themselves. Dwarves alone hold the ability to mine lyrium safely. I wondered if they sought to learn more. "

" Ehh, the folks back at Orzammar don't care much about anything but tradition. " Ithilwen remembered something, and turned her attention to Varric.

" Back at the temple of sacred ashes you seemed disturbed by the red Lyrium we found. "

" Ahh, yeah. "

" And the red statue in Kirkwall that I told you about-- "

" Is also red Lyrium. "

" But how did it get there? "

" It used to be Knight-Commander Meredith. Cullens old boss. "

" So it's true? She really did turn into a statue? " Blackwall looked with a shocked expression at Varric.

"Absolutely true. She's still there. Bringing an extra dose of horror the gallow tourists."

" No one's moved it?-- I mean her? "

" And make it impossible for children to play ´who's brave enough to poke Meredith?` "

" They don't actually do that! " Blackwall hesitated, but spoke again. " Do they? "

" No. No one's brave enough to poke Meredith. "

" But what _is_ Red Lyrium? " Ithilwen inquired.

Truth be told, I don't really know. My brother Bartrand and I found an Idol made from it during a deep road expedition almost ten years ago. He ran off and left me with Hawke to die. We found our way out, but he was already gone, with the blighted thing. " Varric took a sip from his mug then continued.

" Years later he turns up and had gone mad. He had sold the idol but kept a small piece for himself, which drove him crazy. I turned it over to a friend of mine who has been studying it, but so far we've found nothing. "

" You kept it? Wouldn't that be dangerous? "

" Yes, but this was before the knight-captain turned all crazy. We didn't know it by then. Normal lyrium is kept in special containers, we took the same kind of measurement with that. "

" How did she even.."

" She was the one that had bought the other half. She had enchanted her sword and carried it around. It turned her mad, slowly. Then she abused the power she gained from it and transformed into.. Well. Whatever she is now. "

" I apologize, Varric. It was insensitive of me to ask you this. "

No, it's not your fault, Silver. Don't worry about it. " They did not get to speak much more about it, for Isabela yelled down the hatch.

 

 " Oy oy oy! Time to head topside my dear privateers! We've reached our destination! "

 

The city was builded around several Islands with gigantic stone bridges connecting them, which made it even harder to locate the great meeting. Luckily for them Leliana had given them a map back in Haven, and had dotted which alleys and areas they should avoid. Some of the townships had different themes, like different building structures and colors. Red and yellow seemed to be most popular right now, for the newer builded houses were painted in those colors. Flowers, roses in pink mostly, would cover the walls and spread perfume fragrance, covering the stench from the water. It may have been beautiful, but so much people could only spoil it with their garbage. Grand statues were all over the city, mostly with religious backgrounds. Cassandra pointed out several of the most famous faces, like the Chevalier Aveline who won the great turney and made it possible for woman to become warriors, of Maferath, the betrayer, who sold his wife Andraste to the Tevinter Imperium. They were going to the grand cathedral, and knew they were on the right path, for bells were ringing louder and louder.

Unfortunately there wasn't enough time to observe the grand beauty which the city offered. Several priests, all dressed in black met them on one of the bridges they had to cross. Cassandra observed them as they walked with confident steps against them over the bridge.

" The city still mourns. "

The group with pristest had heard Cassandra, and when they saw Ithilwen next to her they began to shriek, turned on their heels and ran from once they came.

" Just a guess, Seeker, but I think they all know who we are. " Their dwarven companion muttered.

" Your skills of observation never fail to impress me, Varric. "

As they reached the end of the bridge a young woman came running to meet them. She stopped and bent to her knee in greeting. " My lady Herald. "

Cassandra recognized her. " You're one of Leliana's people. What have you found? "

" The chantry mothers await you, but.. So do a great many templars. "

Ithilwen felt a knot in her abdomen, and couldn't hold back a groan. This were going to complicate things.

" There are templars here? " The scoat hesitated.

" People seem to think the templars will protect them from.. From the Inquisition! They're gathering on the other side of the market. I think that's where the templars intend to meet you. "

" They wish to protect the people? From us? " Cassandra almost yelled in her anger.

" You think the order's return to the fold, maybe? To deal with us upstarters? " Varric suggested.

" No, I know Lord Seeker Lucius. I can't imagine him coming to the chantry's defense. Not after all that's occurred. " Cassandra turned to the scout. " Return to Haven. Someone will need to inform them if we are.. Delayed. "

" As you say, Milady! " The scout passed them and Cassandra walked forward, taking the lead.

 

" Let's go, then. Better not keep those mothers waiting. "


	7. Templars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen and co meet up with the Mothers. But not everything goes according to plan.

 

Cullen walked around in the war room, his arm resting at the pommel of his sword, but would sometimes reach up to the crook of his neck, a tix that he usually displayed whenever he felt worried or nervous. He would not rest. The assassination attempt still haunted him and even if he had taken every measurement of making sure of a safe arrival has been made he still didn't trust himself. They would have arrived any day now, but it was so far off. If something did happen he could do nothing.

" Don't worry so much, Commander. She has friends with her. Varric-- " Cullen Snorted, Leliana glared at him for a short moment then continued.

" --Cassandra, Josephine, Blackwall and Solas. "

Leliana observed the templar as tensed up at the elfs name. She knew he held a dislike for the old hermit apostate. She too thought him too smooth, even though he had helped them greatly in the past. After a while Cullen began to trash around once more, picking up reports from the table, only to let them fall back again. She knew the man was a bit of a worrywort. Lumen had told her that when they had saved the tower during the Blight.

Her memories took her back to that gilded cage they had found him in. Unfit in his armor after weeks of starving, hollowed eyes and cheeks. Hair falling in a mistreated bundle from his ears. The young templar had been through much during such a short time.

Then, after the Blight, he was transported to Kirkwall. The only circle that wanted him was Kirkwall, or rather the only person who wanted him was Meredith. The woman had been good and fair once, but driven mad with power. A shame, for she had done both good deeds for the mages and templars during her service. To see her spoiling all those years felt bitter.

Lumen had felt the same way with Loghain. The man had been driven to exhaustion and paranoia, and wanted to protect his country. But Alistair saw the short straw. She had always supported him, her fellow Warden. But in this she would not waste a precious hero and experienced general because of vengeance.

Alistair had never been angrier. The woman he loved, stood before him urging him to spare the one that killed his mentor. But in the end she had given in. Alistair, in his rage killed him on the spot, but not before Loghain managed to give her a bow of chivalry. He had finally realised the error of his mistake. That was a victory in it's own way but he would never be able to correct the crimes he had committed.

Later that evening when Leliana and Lumen has been sitting before the fireplace in her quarters at the Arls estate she explained her actions at the Landsmeet more clearly

_" Forgiveness is a powerful tool, and it may be used upon anyone. But someone must always take the first step. Loghain wasn't entirely bad, for he too wanted to save his his country. The ends doesn't always justify the means, but I feel nothing but sadness for his death. He was our country's legacy, a hero no matter his crimes and like any mortal he made mistakes. I wish more will come to understand him in the future, but both you and I know the living. We are all part of a selfish breed, and will forever spoil facts with our own views and agendas. Hopefully there will be debates, and not one universal truth in the history books. "_

Leliana had pondered her words. Even when Marjolaine had sent assassins after her and her friends Lumen would not let her pull the string on her bow.

_" This isn't you. Do not destroy what you builded for years only to be thrown on the pyre with her corpse. "_

The young elf had a lot of nerve, assuming to know her. But she had already from the first moment, back in Lothering. One look, and her life was displayed before her very own eyes. It was uncomfortable, but once she had opend up to her she knew she could trust her. She was fair and had honor. She never went back on her word, even in her dealings with enemies. She would not lie. Had she not been an elf or a mage she would make a good Divine. Wynne had urged her to return to the tower, to try and rebuild the Circle of Magi. She declined, she was a Grey Warden now. She couldn't turn back, even if she was conscripted against her own will.

Ithilwen reminded her of Lumen, in a lot of ways. Not just their appearance. But the way they viewed things. Ithilwen wanted to save as many as possible. Lumen of course has more experience and self confidence. She, unlike Ithilwen, did not show any kind of emotions.

When they had returned to Ostagar for their kings corpse Alistair had snapped. She did not seem to care of what was happening. When she had tried to calm him he threw her hand away.

 _" You don't know what it's like! You don't have any sort of conscience. It's like you don't even are alive! "_ Wynne had tried to calm him down, but it was Aaron's punch that really did it.

_" Don't you dare say that to her! She's a mage! Showing extreme emotions in the circle could lead you to your death! Why do you think Jowan's gone? "_

And then, all of a sudden she had been pierced by a darkspawn spear. Alistair had lost control and killed everything in sight. She was alive though, for Wynne had been there to save her from bleeding out completely. That was one of many factors that taught both their new king and Leliana that the circle had to change.

Leliana then let her mind slide back to the commander before her. He had admitted to several horrible facts about himself during his six years in Kirkwall. It wasn't pretty, but he had come to regret some of his actions.

 _" Loghain did despicable things too, but she forgave him. "_   Cullen had ben staring at Leliana for a while, before he realized who they were talking about.

_" What, the Warden-Commander? How could she? He was a monster. "_

_" Why? Why was he a monster? He was a man trying to protect his kingdom from their old enemy. "_

Cullen had snorted. _"_ _Orlais wasn't a threat. "_

 _" How would you know? You would be scarred after twenty five years serving your country as well. "_ Leliana had given him a hard glare. 

_" Even the most noble is still human. We make mistakes. That's part of life. What we can do, is to move forward, and realise the error of our ways. Forgive yourself, Commander. As the mages here have forgiven you. "_

He obviously hadn't thought about it that way. He had felt so angry, wanted to avenge his friends that had died at the tower. They had killed them without any regret. Why would he feel any different?

Forgive yourself. That is the first step. Leilana told him.

_" You know, I was in the same spot as you once. I had fallen and didn't know if I ever could get up. But she was there, reached out her hand. It took me a while, but after some time I accepted it. She pulled me up._

_She always regretted not being able to reach out her hand to you. But She had dealings off her own."_

The words warmed his heart. She had been thinking about him all those years. The infatuation for the woman had disappeared, instead he looked at her as a beacon, a pillar for the people. She almost single handle had survived and driven out the Blight. She has restored the old bloodline of Calenhad to the throne. She had done so much in such a short time.

 

" Commander? You were saying? "

 

Cullen snapped back to reality. Leliana looked at him with a blank expression from her seat by the table.

Cullen cleared his throat and began to speak, though with a low tone. " We have received a letter. From her clan. "

" Ah.. " She rose up and walked over to the Commander. She placed herself next to him and observed the contents of the letter he was holding in his hand. 

" She will have to answer as soon as she returns from Val Royeaux. I dare not respond to the letter, but I have no wish of withholding the answer for long either. You know how dalish can be rather.. "

" Difficult to deal with. Yes, I know all to well. I once travelled with one after all. "

" You did? Who? " Cullen rose up one of his brows. Leliana got a rather dark expression.

 

" The _hero_ of Ferelden. "

 

 

Ithilwen, Cassandra, Varric and Solas joined the big crowd across the market, getting a glimpse of a preaching mother who was joined by several clerics. They all stood on a wooden ramp, right before a great iron gate leading to the Cathedral. A young templar with furrowed brows stood beside her. The mob leader saw Ithilwen and began anew.

" Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me! "

Everything went silent. All of the people directed their attention to the mother.

" Together we mourn our Divine, her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more! "

She pointed at Ithilwen in the midst of the crowd. She knew exactly where the mother aimed to shoot her arrow and felt the anger brew with in her. People turned and saw her, blinked in scilence and then began to throw insults, but before Ithilwen managed to scream back a wave with mana suddenly nudged her on her shoulder. She eyed Solas at her side, who looked back at her with his calm ocean grey eyes. _Hamin_.

" Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would send no elf in our hour of need! " Ithilwen took a deep sigh and spoke.

 

" I am not the Herald of Andraste. "

 

Everything went quiet once again. People stared at her, and she took her chance to speak. " I never made such claims. I am simply trying to close the Breach. " She turned around to face the shocked crowd. " It threatens us all. "

" It's true! The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late! " Cassandra eyed Ithilwen like a proud mabari with her pup.

The mother smirked wickedly. " Oh, it is already too late! For you! " She turned to the side and pointed of an army with templars that came against them

" The templars have returned to the chantry! They will face this Inquisition and the people will be safe once more! "Two of the templars walked up the wooden ramp, while the first, who was a bit older and had grey in is hair walked by the mother the other who walked behind him stopped and punched her in the back of her head. She fell down with a pained cry. The young templar that had stood besides her tried to reach for her, but his superior took hold of him.

" Still yourself. She is beneath us. "

Ithilwen felt the hair on her neck rise. What kind of man attacks a defenseless woman? Solas grabbed her arm this time, but she ignored it and went forward.

 

" How DARE you! "

 

" Be silent, _elf_ ." The older man stared at her with ice in his eyes. He reminded her of her father, and knew that he would hurt her if need be. But she would stand her ground. She was not afraid. The man continued.

" Your Authority carries no weight compared to mine! " _This_ was the Lord Seeker Lucius. She had heard Cassandra whisper it to her in all the blur. But she wanted to rip him in half. He must have seen it, for he too showed his teeth to Ithilwen.

" Lord Seeker Lucius, it's imperative that we speak with-- "

" You will not address me. " He walked off the higher level with his templars behind him. Cassandra had followed, but stopped when he spoke.

" Lord seeker? "

" Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste's prophet. " So far the senior seeker had walked but now stopped, tilted his head towards Cassandra and gave her the same kind of glare he had given Ithilwen earlier. " You should be ashamed! " He turned to the crowd that still lingerd around the fallen mother.

" You should all be ashamed! " Cassandra thought it impossible to shock them even more, but he has succeeded. They, as well as the crowd behind them stared at him with dropped jaws and widened eyes.

" The templars failed no one when they left the chantry to purge the mages! " He pointed at the fallen mother. " YOU are the one's who have failed. You who'd leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! "

He turned back to Cassandra. " If you came to appeal to the chantry you are too late. The ONLY destiny here that demands respect is MINE. "

Ithilwen ignored him,instead she looked to those behind him. " Templars! " Her voice wakes them up. She spoke with confidence and a secure tone, even though the anger beneath brewed and burned her very core.

" One of your own commands the inquisition's forces. Join us, as he did! We only seek to close the Breach. "

The templars mumbled behind the lord seeker, who walked forward to the elf. He raised one of his fingers in a threatening pose. Cassandra tried to block him but Ithilwen pushed her aside. He stopped right before her, looking down at her small frame.

" YOU ARE A MAGE! Your ties are all worthless! And those templars that have joined you are all made traitors just by being in your company. "

Ithilwen didn't back down. " What we truly need is an alliance that will seal the Breach, lord Seeker. Join us, for the sake of the world. " The seeker glared down on her with cold eyes.

" Oh, the breach is indeed a threat! But you certainly have NO power to do anything about it. "

The younger templar that had been in company with the mother slowly walked to his side while stumbling on his words.

" But lord Seeker.. What if she really was sent by the maker? What if-- " He didn't manage to utter any more words, for another templar had closed his hand around his throat.

" You are called to a higher purpose! DO not question! " He let go of the young man, who scared looked away. Lucius continued, aiming his attention to Ithilwen once more.

" _I_ will make the templar order a power that stands alone against the void. We deserve recognition. Independence! " He backed away from the Herold. " You have shown me nothing, and the Inquisition.. Less then nothing. " He turned to his men behind him.

" Templars! Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! " He began to walk against the grate gate from where Ithilwen, Cassandra, Varric and Solas once had entered. " We march! "

Cassandra stood in shock while the templars walked away. Varric walked up to her. " Charming fellow, isn't he? "

" Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad? "

Ithilwen looked back at her friend. " How well do you know him? "

" He took over the seekers of truth two years ago, after Seeker Lambert's death. " She looked back at the disappearing group of templars. " He was always a decent man, never given in to ambition and understanding. This is bizarre! " She raised her hand to her forehead.

" Could he be reasoned with? "

" I hope so. If not him, there are sirely others in the order who don't feel as he does. " She lowered her face. " Either way, we should first return to Haven and inform the others. "

 

Both Cassandra and Ithilwen saw the mother who had awakened on the presidium and walked over to her. The mother looked up at Cassandra with a smug face.

" This victory must please you greatly seeker Cassandra. "

" We came here seeking only to speak with the mothers. This is not our doing, but yours. " Cassandra was unaffected by the cold words, instead she looked at her with a displeased tone.

" And you had no part in forcing our hand? Do not delude yourself! Now we have been shown by our own templars, in front of everyone. And my fellow clerics scatterd to the wind, along with their convictions. " Ithilwen felt her dislike for the mother grow even more. She wallowed in her self pity.

" Just tell me one thing. " The mother now tilted her head to Ithilwen. " Do you truly believe you're the Maker's chosen? "

Ithilwen sighed. The Mother had ignored her every word. " No, Mother. I don't believe myself to be the Herald of Andraste. I told you this before. "

The Mother stared at her, it seemed that she couldn't believe her ears. " That is.. More comforting than you might imagine. I suppose it is our of our hands now. We shall all see what the Maker plans in the days to come. "

Ithilwen bowed down to the Mother. " What did you hope the Lord Seeker would do? "

" Put aside his war against the mages and find a common purpose against something much more dire. " She closed her eyes and took a breath. " Obviously he has other plans. With the knight.vigilant slain at the Conclave, there is nothing more we can do. "

" Perhaps there is something we can do. " Cassandra said.

" I'd like to belive that, Seeker. I truly would. " The Mother had opend her eyes and looked upon Cassandra. Doubt was written in her eyes. " I suspect we can expect a renewed effort against the mages from him, and yet more chaos. "

" So what happens now? Will the Chantry continue to denounce me? " The Mother laughed bitterly in response.

" We've already done som and what good has it done us? " She took another pained breath. " Now it falls on us to select a new Divine, if we can, and leave the next step to her. "

" Provided such a selection is even possible. " Cassandra's mouth became a thin line and her brows furrowed down.

" I truly don't know. Any revered mother who could have followed Justinia died at the conclave. What becomes of us, and your Inquisition, is in the Maker's hands now. "

" I'll stop this somehow. " Ithilwen had heard enough. She rose up from the ground and turned on her heel. The Mother observed her as she walked across the market.

 

" I hope against hope that may be the case, Herold. "

 

Ithilwen tilted her head back. She heard something from a higher level. _Felt_ something. A bowstring. Before she could protest Ithilwen had taken hold of the seekers arm and pulled her away just in time. The arrow pierced a tree close to them. Cassandra let out a small shout.

" Wha-- Was that aimed for me? " Cassandra gasped shocked and stared at Ithilwen.

" No, but I'm not taking any chances. " Ithilwen pulled the arrow from the bark. There was a small note attatched to it.

The message was written with a large flowing hand and bordered with doodles.

 

 _"_ _People say you're special. I want to help, and I can bring everyone._

_There's a baddie in Val Royeaux. I hear he wants to hurt you. Have a search for the red things in the market, the docks, and 'round the cafe, and maybe you'll meet him first. Bring swords._

_Friends of Redy Jenny. "_

 

" This is not weird at all. " Ithilwen furrowed her brows and handed the note to Varric. " Friends of yours? "

" Since when is my name Jenny? " Varric gave her a insulted grunt. 

" You know what I mean. " Ithilwen smiled back to her dwarven companion, who in return took the note and gave her a smug smile.

" No, I've heard some of them, but not much. Apparently they are a trouble makers, for nobles. They're quite popular with the lower masses. "

" Ah, a rebellious group then. "

" Should we even care what they want? " Solas asked with furrowed brows.

" Why not? This was a warning, of a sort. Let's thave a look. "

 

It had gotten late and the moon stood at it's peak. They enterd a small alley. But there was nothing to be seen there. Ithilwen heard voices from behind a large gate and opend it. Just in time she managed to avoid two fireballs that were aimed for her. She gestured for her companions to bring up their weapons and stay quiet. Suddenly she felt a wave. There was something here. Not magic, but something different. The same thing she had felt at the market, with the arrow. Ithilwen eyed Solas, but he did not seem to notice. He kept his eyes focused on her command, but did not display any kind of feelings.

Ithilwen peaked in again and saw a younger man with a mask covering his face. He was dressed in the most ridiculous outfit and tight pair of pants she ever had seen. Like the noble Durellion he took on the same kind of pose as a peacock and started to speak.

" Herald of Andraste! How much did you extend to discover me? It must have weakened the Inquisition Immeasurably! "

ithilwen remained quiet, eyed Cassandra who stood next to her. She shrugged her shoulders. _I know as much as you._

" Ooh, going with the silent treatment are you? " The man looked at her and from what Ithilwen could make out of it he held a disgusted expression glued to his face. It could be hard to tell sometime when they had masks.

" You don't fool me! I am too important for this to be an accident. My efforts will survive in victories against you elsewhere-- "

Suddenly there was a lot of noise coming from behind another of the gates. The something felt stronger. Arrows pierced the guards behind their newest enemy. Ithilwen brought up her daggers from her hips and gestured the others to do the same.

 

" Just say what! "

 

An elf with short blonde hair stood a few feet away, aiming an arrow at the masked noble. " What is the--UGH " the arrow pierced him right in the eye and he fell dead to the ground.

The other elf let out a small disgusted groan. " Eew. Squishy one but you heard me right? "

She walked to the dead noble " Just say what. Rich tits always try to get more then they deserve. " She pulled out the arrow from his corpse, studied it a while before throwing it back in her quiver.

" Bla bla blaaa. Obey me! Arrow in my face. " She turned around to have a look at Ithilwen, who had no clue what just had happend.

" So you followed the notes well enough.." She stopped and a disgusted expression took place on her face. " AAaand you're an elf. Ooh. Hope you're not _too_ elfy. " Ithilwen furrowed her brows, while the blonde only smiled wider. " I mean it's all good, innit? The important thing is you _glow_. you're the Herald thingy. "

Ithilwen observed the elf before her. That thing she had felt, that vibe, it came from her. She barked back with an angry tone " What are you? "

" Ohoho very funny. " The stranger elf snorted and laughed through her nose. She didn't seem to know what Ithilwen was talking about. Solas quietly observed Ithilwen from the side.

Ithilwen blinked a few times and looked around. No, it was from her. But she didn't seem to know what she was referring too, so she decided to avoid the subject for now. " What's this all about? "

" No idea, I don't know this idiot from manners. " The blonde shrugged. " My people just said the Inquisition should look at him. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows and squinted her eyes. " Your people? Elves? "

" Ha! " She began to laugh again. " No! _People_ people! " Ithilwen still held her frown on her brows.

" Name's Sera! This is cover get round it. For the reinforcements. Don't worry. Someone tipped me their equipment shed. "

" Ah, well that's positive news. " Ithilwen let out in a sigh, closed her eyes and held the bridge of nose.

Sera slowly grew a smug expression and laughed wickedly into the cold night air. " I know! They got no breeches. "

 

" What? " Before Sera managed to answer a company of men attacked them. Ithilwen looked at them in confusion. " Why did you not take their weapons? "

" Because no breeches! " Sera laughed through her nose, jumped up to one of the reelings of the staircase and began to shoot her arrows at the closest enemy. Ithilwen aimed back her attention at the battle. It was true. They did lack pants. Sera, Varric and Solas managed to kill them before they reached Ithilwen and Cassandra who stood at the back. It was even easier to dispose of them when you could shoot them in the nuts.

 

Sera ended up joining as well, after some persuasion. Ithilwen had not wanted to take her in at first. She felt different, and not in a good way. It wasn't the lack of elfy'ness as Sera explained it, but the aura she displayed.

They returned to the ship when they were interrupted by a messanger.

 

" Pardon me, my lady. I have a message for you. "

Ithilwen looked at the young man. He was dressed in a green tunic with red and golden characters. She recognized it as circle mage robes.

" Thank you. " She took the pargament and opend it.

 

_" You are cordially invited to attend to my salon held at the chateau of Duke Bastien De ghislain._

_Yours,_

_Vivienne De Fer_

_First Enchanter of Mortimmard_

_Enchanter to the Imperial court."_

 

" It seems our activity in the city hasn't been unnoticed. " Cassandra observed the note. " Even I have heard of this Enchanter. It would be wise to attend. "

Ithilwen rolled the pargahement and faced the messenger once more."Tell Lady Vivienne that I acchept her invetation. Good day. "

The messanger bowed and went his way.

" Oooh party! Lot's of cake. And nobles. And bees. " Varric eyed Sera with an amused grin. 

" The party will be in two days. " 

"Guess were staying for a while. Let us send a raven to our Spymaster. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there is this Andruil theory with Sera, and I thought that Ithilwen might notice something strange about her because of the anchor. It already changed her, so why not having better senses as well?


	8. Let it go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen is introduced to some of the upper world in Val Royeaux.

Everyone was sleeping, with the exception for Ithilwen and a few people keeping watch on deck. She tossed around in her bed, the mark stinged. It felt hot and sweaty, and the memories from the day haunted her. The Lord Seeker had seemed strange. It was more noticeable now once she had calmed down. There was this feeling that tipped her off, not the same kind of feeling as she had gotten from Sera. Sera was weird to be sure, but it didn't feel threatening. Lucius was.. She didn't know, and it felt wrong.

Josephine however didn't seem to have any trouble, she snored lightly and sweet while speaking in a foreign language in her bed across the other side of the cabin. Sometimes she giggled. Ithilwen smiled. She was such a cute thing. Even more so in her dreams. She took one of the jars with freshwater and a piece of cloth as she went outside.

Ithilwen walked across the Ships deck. She stopped at the reeling and emptied the jar with water over her head while holding it over the edge so it would not drop on the wooden planks. The water felt cool and fresh against her hot and sweat soaked skin. She lifted her head in one swift motion upwards, making the hair dash back and whip out the water. She straightened her back up and let out a long sigh. Water dripped down her hair and back, making a wet line, but she didn't care. She placed her arms across each other over the reeling and gazed out on the open sea, sighing once more.

Once again her doubts caught her. She felt drained and worried, they had managed to secure an alliance with the friends of Red Jenny, yes, but not with the templars nor the mages. And from the looks from it the Templars wouldn't want too either. Maybe it would have been better to keep her magic a secret, then they would at least want to speak with her. She looked at her hand. The mark was sleeping deep within and it irritated her. She furrowed her brows deep and her mouth became a thin line. It had caused nothing but trouble.

 

" Dal'en? " Ithilwen turned around and saw Solas stand a few feet away. He had furrowed his brows when he saw her marked hand twitch. " Does it pain you? "

" Not more than usual. " She avoided his gaze and threw the cloth around her head, wiping away the wet from her hair. She had already troubled him more than enough. He stood quiet for awhile. Waited for her to say something more. When she didn't he asked another question.

" Wish to talk about it? "

She let the cloth fall down to her shoulders and stood quiet for a moment. After some hesitation she finally answered, while still keeping her eyes on the Sea.

" No. "

Solas placed himself against the reeling besides her, taking deep breaths smelling the salty air. Ithilwen eyed him for a while. It was so quiet now. Probably because it was so late. The night had transformed the city to a completely different world. She had kept her tone low because of it. She took a quick breath and spoke once more.

" I'm going to meditate. Wish to join me? " Solas gave her a quick nod.

They walked off to one of the platforms ment to keep watch and decided to climb up. She hesitated before the ropes. Maybe.. She lowered her upper body and knees, ready to jump. She focused her mind on a breeze. A hard, but quick pulse. It worked, for she had flown up in an instant and landed on the plattform. Solas stared at her from the lower level. Ithilwen only gave him a smug smile from her upper position in return and placed herself on her knees. She had a had a hard time to keep her calm expression as he climbed up and joined her.

" That was extraordinary. " .

Suddenly Sera was hanging upside down from one of the ropes, holding herself steady with her feet tangled in the ropes. Ithilwen had felt her already and didn't become surprised.

" What? You're a mage? "

" I am. "

" Then why are you using daggers? Shouldn't you like, waaah and fwoosh and ptjooo! " Sera made quick punching gestures in the air, illustrating what looked like martial arts movements. She almost hit Solas, but he avoided it easily by tilting his head as she flew around.

 

" What? "

" You know magy stuff, why aren't you doing that? "

" What you just showed me aren't considered to be magy stuff either. " Ithilwen gave her another of her smirks.

" Details. " Sera threw her arms across her chest while dangling from the left to the right.

" Then why aren't you using magic yourself? " Solas looked at Ithilwen, he kept his cool expression, but felt questions bubble up inside his mind. _How could she even.. She can feel it too?_

" Wha--What do are you blabbering about? " Sera stared at Ithilwen. She displayed fear and confusion.

" You.. Ignore what I just said. I was mistaken. " Ithilwen turned her head away and had furrowed her brows. Solas still kept his eyes on her.

" Ahh don't say such things! Now I won't be able to sleep! "

Sera launched herself to the ground and ran away across the deck down to the living quarters. After what seemed like an eternity Ithilwen turned around to face her teacher.

" Solas.. Did you not feel anything from Sera? "

" What do you mean, Dal'en? "

" There was.. Nevermind. Nothing. " Ithilwen had stared at Solas at first, but then hesitated and became quiet. She turned her head back and fell into her thoughts, meditating. Solas did too, but sometimes would open his eyes to observe his pupil.

 

 

It was decided they would stay in Val Royeaux for a couple of days because of the Invitation to Enchanter Vivienne. Josephine had refused staying in the ship because of the smell and inappropriate location and hired a couple of rooms for them to live in right in the Plaza, close to the place where the meeting had been held the day before. Isabela didn't mind. She spent some time in the tavern. Ithilwen walked around with the Ambassador, Sera and Cassandra, admiring the Capital.

" It really is beautiful here. It even smells good. "

" Ah, that could be explained because of the season. Usually at this time of year they harvest the flowers to make perfume right outside the city. It will disappear. "

" What a shame. "

Indeed. Oh, how good! We've reached the tailor. I heard he is one of the best in town. " Josephine pointed towards a small shop in the corncer of the street.

" Tailor? "

" You are to attend a soaré, and therefore need to look the part. "

" Wha.. Is that really necessary? " Ithilwen started to walk backwards, but Josephine took hold of her arm.

" Of course it is! You are the Herald of Andraste! "

" I'm not--"

" Oh Shh. Just do what I tell you. You cannot go dressed in armor at your first soaré. "

Josephine dragged her into the shop. It smelled of leather and spices. The windows had been covered in order to protect the cloth from losing their colors. An old man stepped forward, he wore a tight west and short pants and a small pair short shoes with a buckle.

" Good day, My name is Josephine Montilyet, Did you receive my letter? " The old man squinted his eyes and looked to Ithilwen.

" The Herald of Andraste, of course. " The man shifted eyed the young elf. " How may I be of service? "

" She is about to attend her first soaré, and I hoped to get her something casual, yet ladylike. "

" Of course. Right this way, madame. " He gestured for Ithilwen to stand on a stool besides a window. He dragged away the draperies to let the sun hit her. He observed her for a quick moment in silence, then he began sketching on a piece of paper. He handed the sketch to Josephine who cooed in admiration.

" Oh this is nice, but could you maybe implement something more.. "

" She's an elf. Go with a slimmer theme, maybe add a few flowers and ignore the shoes? " Cassandra added.

" Yes! Wait, no! Leafs! Silver Leafs, just like the color on her hair. And of course the dress should be the same color as her eyes. And here we will add.." Josephine gestured all over the paper while talking so quickly that Ithilwen couldn't hear what had been said. Just as well. She had no clue when it came to fashion and trusted Josephine to make the right decision. Finally they seemed to come up with a design that pleased the Ambassador.

" How quickly can it be done? "

" It will just take a day. The girl is rather small so it will not take much fabric either. "

" Perfect. " Mistress Lavellan, we will leave you here, but we'll soon be back. Don't go anywhere. "

" What about me? "

" You could keep her company. "

" Sir! Yes, sir! " Sera saluted Cassandra and the Ambassador as they left.

Ithilwen was left with the old man who took her measurements. She felt a bit uneasy about undressing in front of an older man, but she was given a small light tunic that stopped at her knees. Sera vas observing it all, while sitting in cushioned chair with her feet resting on a small table. She launched herself forward, resting her arms on her knees.

" You got 'them tattoos all over? "

" Yes. " Ithilwen had heard this question for quite a while now, and didn't think more about it. The older man asked her to lift her right arm and she did. Sera was quiet for a moment, then a wicked smile grew on her face.

" Everywhere? " She asked, with lighter hum.

Ithilwen eyed her from the side this time, not realizing where the other elf was going. The man went away to the next room to fetch needles.

 " Everywhere. "

 " Even in your special place? "

Ithilwen fell off the stool to the floor. Her whole face burned pink, even her ears. Sera laughed without being able to stop. The old man came back from the other room. He groaned and helped her up again, for she was wearing cloth all over and could hardly move.

" Uh, no. Not there. " Sera didn't answer, simply snickered. Ithilwen sighed. She felt uneasy. Ithilwen tiredly looked through the window, gazing into the garden. Small birds were feeding from an appletree there. Sera looked through the window as well, then back to Ithilwen. She smiled and jumped up from her seat.

" Hang on here Ithi! Just gonna get something! "

" Wha-- Sera? " But she was already gone. Ithilwen was alone witht the man. Once he was done she was allowed to put on her old clothes and Cassandra, as well as Josephine showed up at the door.

" Mistress Lavellan? Are you ready to go? "

" Yes. Although we can't leave yet. Sera's out doing something. She told me to wait for her. "

" Don't worry. I'll tell the tailor that we returned to the hotel. She knows its location after all. "

 

They hardly managed to walk out of the door when Ithilwen felt the familiar wave from Sera. Just in time she jumped out of the way as Sera flew down from the sealing.

" Ah I missed! " Sera scraped off the dust from her legs.

" Wha-- What were you trying to do? "

" I got you this! " Sera held up a small paper bag in front of her. It smelled alluring and sweet. Ithilwen looked at Sera with confusion.

" What's this? "

" Candy! I bought it for you, you looked hungry. Here, take this one! It's my favorite! " Sera pulled up one of the caramels and forced into Ithilwen mouth before she managed to stop her. She stared at back at her, but then she felt the taste from the candy. It was hard, but melted slowly in her mouth, sweet but with a crispy texture. Ithilwen shut her eyes and savoured the flavour. Josephine and Cassandra smiled as they observed her. Sera waited in anticipation for Ithilwen to finish.

" That was amazing! What is it? " Ithilwen blushed and smiled brightly.

" chocolate! " Sera smiled back. " Glad you like it! "

 

 

Solas spent time in the garden on the second floor with Varric. Blackwall was resting in the corner, sleeping. His snoring had irritated some of the guests and several times he had woken up and apologized, only to fall asleep again. There was no grass, but the ground was covered by a mosaic floor with light blue pastel shade and held a yellow center, and the terrace was covered with hanging roses. Light pink. Maidens blush. They smelled quite lovely. Solas was holding one in his palm when Varric spoke.

" Hey chuckles, do you ever play Wicked grace? "

" I'm not much of a gambler anymore. " Solas turned around and sat across Varric on the other side of the small round table. One of the servants came with a tray serving some wine and cheeses.

" You don't have to play for real coin, that's just for keeping score. " Varric thanked the servent and poured up a glass that he handed over to the elf.

 " What do you play for? "

" Conversation mostly. " That way I win no matter how the cards fall. " The dwarf wiggled his brows to the elf. Solas sighed and surrendered.

 " Very well. Let us play. "

Varric handed out a few cards to his friend. He then sorted the big pile and put it in the middle of the table.

" I have heard that your books are very popular master Thetras. "

" I'm doing alright. " Varric tok a sip from his glass and placed it next to his cards.

" I'm glad of it. "

" Really? No sarcasm? No superior attitude? "

" We live in a dark and angry time, child of the stone. So much of what people believe has come crashing down. If you bring them a little peace with the world's you make between the pages you have done more then most. "

 

 

A few hours later Cassandra, Josephine and Ithilwen were going through the great hall. Sera had went to the bathroom. Suddenly they saw Blackwall rush against them down the stairs. He wore no clothes and hid his lower parts with a flower pot. The three woman's jaws had dropped and their eyes had taken the same size like saucers. The grizzled man stopped before them.

" Don't play Diamondback with Solas. You've been warned. "

The three women continued staring as the naked and hairy man ran passed them and in to his quarters. Unable to find any words Ithilwen continued up the stairs.

Varric and Solas were having a blast in the setting sun. Several treasures that used to belong to Blackwall rested on the table, along with his clothes. Varric laughed and stretched his arms up in the air, before letting them fall behind his head.

" So here we are elf, cleaning up another human mess. "

" What would the Inquisition do without your stabilization influence Master Thetras? " Solas smiled back, while taking a sip from his wine.

" I assume they just would start burning things. " Varric picked up a piece of cheese from the tray.

" That _does_ sound like most humans I know. " Solas couldn't hold back a low laugh.

" If you gentlemen are quite finished--" Ithilwen, Cassandra and Josephine entered the room. The men looked up, only to smile.

" Now now, don't get touchy. We're just here to lend you simple humans our help. " Varric lifted his hands to calm the angry seeker who walked against him.

" -- Before you cause everything to explode " Solas filled him in while swinging his glass.

" -- Again. " Varric tilted his head down while eying the growing force of rage, called Cassandra.

Ithilwen couldn't help start giggling at the dwarf's comeback. Cassandra turned around and gave her an angry glare, but it only made it worse. Ithilwen laughed and laughed untill she hardly could draw a breath.

" Finished? " Cassandra's brows twitched, as well as the corner of her mouth.

" Wait. " Ithilwen put her hands on her cheeks, trying to prevent a smile from growing. It didn't really work but it certainly put a smile on her friends. Varric and josephine laughed hysterically. Solas mostly chuckled. Sera had been busy sneaking up on Ithilwen from the behind, but she had felt her aura and turned around, catching the blonde elfs ears with her hands in a quick motion.

" Got you! " Ithilwen laughed as the elf stared at her dumbfounded.

" Wha-- Oh I'll get you next time! " Sera began to laugh as well.

Solas observed them both as they ran away giggling. He smiled at first. She looked happy, more happy then he ever had seen her. Then the notion hit him. Ithilwen was observant, but Sera held several skills that could outsmart even Leliana. He knew her for what Sera was, but did the mark make Ithilwen able to see it as well?

 

 

The two days passed and it was time for the party. Since only ithilwen had been invited she decided to bring Josephine as her plus one. She would help her through the hellish night.

They arrived at the Villa by carriage. It was painted in a light blue color and had roses climbing it's walls in yellow and pink nyances. Green had instantly become unpopular because of the Breach and therefore everyone had become obsessed with blue instead. Even the interior held the color.

Josephine walked behind Ithilwen. As the Herold she had to walk first, even if she was new to the experience. She had however made quite a progress from her lessons with the Ambassador. She carried herself with a grace that only could be worn by an elf. Josephine had ordered a mask for her when she first became the Herold and had presented it to her the day before.

It was formed like small tree branches and leaves, a reminder of her origin. But instead of green it was in silver and held blue shadows. In the forehead the mark of the Inquisition, the eye pierced by the archons sword surrounded in flames, had been printed in gold. Her dress was simple, like most of her tunics it ended at her knees and only had one layer with fabric and she had dark grey stockings. She wore no shoes. Rather unusual during parties but it worked with her style. The jewelry was simple, no extravagant gems or forms, just plain silver rings around her upper arms and around her throat, but with space in between so you could spot the vallaslin on her throat. 

Her long hair hanged loosely around her shoulders and against her back. Her simple necklace with the tooth and stone had been removed, even her wooden keeper ring with the story of Fen'Harel. It didn't suit her clothes for this evening. It had upset her, but she had followed Josephine's wishes

Josephine had a golden dress, very much like the one she usually wore, but a slimmer frame and with slender sleeves instead. It looked Really outstanding, with her black curls and darker skin and had a golden mask with the form an owl, for wisdom.

Ithilwen has been approached by two minor nobles by the grand staircase and asked about some of the rumors. Josephine began to introduce them to her.

 

" This of course is Lord Sean-Pierre Julien, he is the grandson of one of the council of Heralds. "

" And this is my dear friend, Mother Anastasia of Kirkwall. " Sean-Pierre gestured to the woman next to him. Ithilwen felt her pulse quicken. This might be the one that tried to have her killed. She kept her blank face, and bowed with a polite smile. Solas wasn't here to save her tonight, she needed to keep her calm. Anastasia bowed as well, eyeing the Herald before her.

" It is a pleasure to meet you, Milady. Seeing the same faces at every evening gets so tiresome. You must be a guest of Madame De Fer, or are you here to meet Duke Bastien? "

" Or perhaps for business? " Mother Anastasia inquired while waving her fan slowly. " I have heard the most _curious_ tales of you. I cannot imagine half of them being true. " _No of course you wouldn't._

" If I might be so bold, Milady,  _what_ have you heard? " Ithilwen asked with a gracious smile. The mother smiled back and prattled on.

" Some say that when the veil opend, Andraste herself delivered you from the Fade. "

Ithilwen chuckled with a light tone. " Some of those storytellers may have gotten carried away. "

" But only for the best effect. The Inquisition is a ripe subject for wild tales. " The mother spoke with an amused tone. Ithilwen never managed to ask more before a new voice echoed in the room.

 

" The Inquisition! What a load of pig shit. "

 

A man in maybe his late twenties walked down the great staircase, dressed in a tight red west. Unlike most nobles he wore some armor, probably to be ready for a fight. He also carried a sword by his hip, light and only meant to stick its opponents. His mask held the form of a red Ox, symbolising action and boldness, and he wore no hat.

" Washed up sisters and crazed seekers, no one takes them seriously. " He strutted past Ithilwen who kept her confident posture and expression clean from anger and irritation.

The young man turned around, inviting the rest of the guests to hear him. " Everyone knows the excuse for a political outcast for power. " He expected her to snap. But she held her ground. She could not lash out in anger, but she could not back down either. This was a challenge. He had already lost. He just did not know it yet.

" The Inquisition only seek to restore order to Thedas. " The man got disappointed, had hoped for her to slip, but she stood there, as confident as ever. But it intrigued him as well.

" Here comes the outsider, restoring peace. With an army. " He closed their distance, trying to put her in fear. " We know what your Inquisition truly is. " He stood there silently, observing the small elf before her.

" If you were a woman of honor, you would step outside and answer the charges. " He backed one step and was about to unsheathed his sword when he suddenly froze. Literally.

Madame De Fer had caught everyone's attention as she walked down the stairs. Even Ithilwen felt herself lost for a moment. She regained her posture when Josephine cleared her throat. The Enchantress had dark skin, but wore a white and black robe with silver characters and big puffed arms. Her hat was ornate with silver and was split into two curved horns. A bit bizzare, but beautiful at the same time. The clothing certainly was meant to be remembered.

" My dear Marquis, how unkind of you to use such language in _my_ house, to _my_ guests. " She closed in and stroke her hand alongside the young man's shoulders as she walked passed him and placed herself between him and Ithilwen. " You do know such rudeness is.. intolerable. "

The man began to speak, with fear in his voice. " Madame Vivienne! I humbly beg your pardon. "

" You should. " She turned around and gave him a glare that might have sunked him down through the floor, if he hadn't been frozen. " Whatever am I going to do with you, my dear? " His eyes widend in fear. She was going to kill him, if she desired.

" My lady, _you_ are are the wounded party in this unfortunate affair. " She had tilted her head to Ithilwen and smiled wickedly. " What would you have me do with this foolish, foolish man? "

The Marquis eyed Ithilwen with a horrified expression. He thought she would want him dead afte his insult. Like most he had only heard the rumors of dalish elves being savages and have a deep hunger for bloodshed. Ithilwen felt disgusted, not because of the expression, but for her own want. She certainly had been angry, but after this little display she became afraid instead. Afraid of her own need for his death. She decided to let him go. He had learned his lesson.

" I think the Marquis has seen the error of his ways. "

The Enchantress gave her a smile and once again turned to face the young Marquis and cupped his jaw in her hand. " By the grace of Andraste you have your life, my dear. " She snapped with her fingers and the ice became water, soaking him right at the spot. He would be disgraced, not only by his behaviour but also by his current state. " Do be more careful. "

Some of the guests laughed with hushed voices as the young Marquis coughing and embarresed walked away from the room, leaving a line of water behind him, the end of the trail had taken a yellow color and smelled. Madame De Fer turned to Ithilwen and took hold of her hand while giving her a heartfull smile.

" I am delighted you could attend this little gathering. I have so wanted to meet you. " She gestured Ithilwen to follow her to the window, observing the enormous garden.

 

" Allow me to introduce myself. I am Vivienne, First Enchanter of Montsimmard and Enchantress to the imperial court. "

" Charmed, Lady Vivienne. My name is Ithilwen and as you know, a agent of the Inquisition. " She bowed gracefully.

" Ahh, but I did not invite you to the chateau for simple pleasantries. With Divine Justinia dead, the Chantrys in shambles. Only the Inquisition might restore sanity and order to four frightened people. As the leader of the last loyal mages of Thedas, I feel it only right that I lend my assistance to your cause. "

" And to whom are you loyal? " Ithilwen inquired, with one higher brow. She knew that the woman wouldn't be loyal to her, that was for certain. She would surprise her later.

" To the people of Thedas, of course. We have not forgotten the commandments, as some have. That _magic exist to serve man_. I support any such attempt to restore such order. "

Ithilwen considered her options. She was not only a powerful mage, she was a powerful mage with _connections_. Those which could lead to several alliances in the future.

" The Inquisition would be honored to accept your proposal, Milady. "

" Wonderful! Great things are beginning my dear. I can promise you that. Now, let us see what the rest of the evening will offer us, shall we? "

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt it necessary to dress Ithilwen differently for the party at Duke Bastien's chateau. It is after all her first introduction to the upper world. Concindering how they like to gossip in Orlais it would be strange not too.


	9. So many questions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen hears about an important figure from the past.

 

" If I may have a moment of your time. "

 

Solas, Cassandra and Ithilwen were just about to board the ship when an older elf approached them. She had dark and short hair, green eyes and wore circle robes. Ithilwen twitched her nose. She smelled.. Different. And her aura felt weird. A simular weird like Seeker Lucius. 

The seeker seemed to recognize her. " Grand Enchanter Fiona? "

" Leader of the mage Rebellion. Is it not dangerous for you to be here? " Solas leaned on his hip.

" I heard ot the gathering, and wanted to see the fabled Herald of Andraste with my own eyes. However, I had been followed and could not speak with you then. "

" Then speak. " Ithilwen didn't trust her, didn't trust it, but saw no reason not to hear her out. Speaking was entirely different from making a deal.

" Pragmatic. Good. If it's help with the Breach you seek, perhaps my people are an wiser option. " The Grand Enchanter eyed Ithilwen with a unmistakable flame in her eyes. " We are both mages after all. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows even deeper. " I may be a mage, but that does not offer kinship. " Solas as well as Cassandra seemed suprised at her answer. Ithilwen gestured her hand towards the shocked enchanter. " I am more interested in why you didn't show up at the conclave. You are their leader, after all. "

" Yes. You were supposed to be, and yet somehow you avoided death. " Cassandra filled in. _Good. I'm not the only one smelling a dead dog buried here_.

Fiona quickly regained her stand and answered. " As did the Lord Seeker, you'll note. Both of us sent Negotiators in our stead, in case it was a trap. " _Mmm. Point taken._ Fiona tilted her back to Ithilwen.

" I wont pretend I'm not glad to live. I lost many dear friends that day. " She now took on an angry tone. " It disgusts me to think the templars will get away with it. I'm hoping you wont let them. "

" Big surprise. It's always the templars. " Ithilwen felt tired from these debates. There was always something wrong with the other party.

" Why would she think otherwise? " Cassandra scoffed.

" Lucius hardly seems broken up over his losses, if he's concerned about them at all. You heard him at the meeting! You think he wouldn't happily kill the Divine to turn people against us? So, yes. I think he did it. More than I think you did, at any rate. "

 

" Just tell us what you want. " Ithilwen felt irritated. There was something wrong with her. Not her attitude, claims or even goal. But with _her._ And Ithilwen wanted to get away from her as soon as possible.

" We're willing ro discuss a companionship, with the Inquisition. Consider this an invitation to Redcliffe : Come meet with the mages. An alliance could help us both, after all. I hope to see you there, Au revoir, Milady herold. " She bowed and walked away.

 

" Come, let us return to Haven. We've wasted enough time as it is. "

Ithilwen stood at the docks, observing the Grand Enchanter disappear through the masses in the early morning fog that had erupted from the water. Sera yelled for her several times to board before she actually did, but not without keeping her eyes on the spot where Fiona had stood.

" OI! PAISLEY PETE! LOSE THOSE SAILS! Were off! "

 

They had ventured for several days before Ithilwen was allowed to venture back to the deck. Josephine has been going on and on about the small wrongs she had been doing during the banquet at Lady Vivienne's home. Blackwall had knocked on the door and the ever blushing ambassador finally was persuaded to let her on a break.

“ Very well. I suppose we all need a little fresh air. But just for an hour! Do not be late for your next lesson! “

Ithilwen had placed herself close to the rear, resting her arms against the railing while staring out on the ocean. She finally had some time to think now while Josephine wasn't busy hitting her on the head with a roll of paper whenever she would drift away from her lessons.

Something had felt fishy about Fiona. The same kind of feeling she had experienced with Lucius. She had even smell it. It had come as a surprise once she had realized, but her other senses as hearing and smell has improved, just like her eyesight. She had recognized the smell from Fiona, but she didn't know from where. All she knew was that she could not be trusted. Not knowing why made her irritated, and worried.

From what they had gathered so far both leaders wanted to pin the Divine's death on each other. Mother Anastasia wanted her dead, but not through chantry goals. Lucius felt weird too, just as Fiona. She lowered her head in her right hand. A headache was having a march in her head, and she sweated hard. What was the connection, and for what purpose? 

" _Keep the sacriface still_. "

The Divine had been a sacrifice. But to what end? There had to be a reason for wanting her, one of the biggest names and titles in the world. It was not easy to get an audience with her, nearly impossible. Someone would have to be close to her, like a templar or a trusted friend. A mage seemed unlikely, but not impossible. But what was their original goal? Was it the status? Unlikely. It seemed more reasonable to want something from her, like a memory or..

 

Her blood.

 

She took a quick breath. Her fingers digged into the flesh in her forehead.

Did the Divine hold some kind of arcane power? Was she part of a lost lineage? She had been held by magic, they had seen it from the images when they attempted to close the Breach. Then it had to be mages behind it. And that made her feel sick. Mages seemed to behind every evil plot in history, and yet she needed them. In fact they were the only group willing to listen. There was no alternative.

 

" What's wrong?

Cassandra had put her hand on Ithilwen back so suddenly that she flew up from her grasp, small red dots had bruised the skin where the fingers had digged in. The Seeker saw it, tensed up and tried to get eye contact with her, but she avoided it and kept her eyes on the horizon. Cassandra had been good to her, but she did not trust her doubt with her just yet. As a mage you tended to get different opinions from your templar associates. She could not trust her. After what seemed like an eternity she finally answered.

" Banal. "

Ithilwen forgot that her friend was not versed in the elvhen language. Instead she ignored her confused expression and went her way to her quarters once again.

The seeker observed as she went up from the railing and walked downstairs. She had looked pale, unwell. She was worried for her. She had secluded herself once before, right before her anger attack.

 

She stumbled down the stairs and all the way back to her room. She hesitated before opening the old creaky door, only to find the room empty. She sighed in relief. Josephine was probably spending time with Blackwall. She fell down to her bed. Her eyes felt heavy, but she didn't fall asleep. Couldn't. Her head, as well as her hand throbbed. Memories kept play in her mind, the vision from the Breach, and the small glimpse she remembered from her “ accident. “ She still had not come to terms with herself. She hated what she had become, a monster that had to play a goddess. After what seemed like hours of tossing herself back and fourth in her soft madras she went up again. Lost and drained Ithilwen found herself walking upstairs to the deck. The sun was about to set in the sky. Her migrain made the light uncomfortable, as well as any sound. She sweated. Was it something she had eaten? She did sort of feel a bit nauseous. She observed the platform she had made her refuge in the past and walked up to it. She did not dare use magic to get up there this time and climbed, not without effort. Once she had reacehed the top she dragged herself over the edge breathing hard. After some time she she fell down to her knees and into her thoughts.

Vivienne had observed her from the other side of the deck during the end of her meditation. When she felt relaxed she stopped and jumped back on her feet stretching her limbs far up in the air and flew down to the deck once again. The Madame walked to her at the side and leaned onto the railing. Much to Ithilwen irritation. She didn't feel like talking right now, but she would have to indulge her.

" So, the rumors are true. You are a mage? "

" I am, although I prefer using my roguish skills. I prefer the anonymity. Being a mage in the open could rub someone wrong when they have my kind of.. Position. "

" Indeed. You are wise to hide it in public. I have observed your magic, and I have admit that it was very impressive. "

" It was merely meditation. " Ithilwen shrugged of the praise. She didn't think herself any more special then other mages.

" That may be the case, but the mana pool you have is extraordinary. " Ithilwen tilted her head to the Enchantress who nodded in acknowledgement, then thought for a moment. Solas had never mentioned this. He, with the exception for Deshanna and her Father who shared similar abilities was the only mages she had really known. Why would Solas withhold this information from her?

" Could it be that the mark has something to do with it? “

" An interesting point. " Vivienne tapped her chin. " Would you mind allowing me to have a look at it? " Ithilwen did not, and let Vivienne examine it. She observed it eagerly with curiosity and astonishment. The Madame poured some of her own mana into the mark, it hurt, but not so much she was not able to hold it back. The Enchantress frowned at her failure. Nothing had happend.

" There is indeed much magic here.. “ Ithilwen sighed sharp. She already held dislike for it and did not want any more fodder. “ Although not all from the mark. " The Enchantress added. Ithilwen looked back at her. What ever did she mean by that?

" Could you be more specific? "

" It could be explained like it was two symphonies, one flows slow and powerful, while the other is light and quick. It is like dusk and dawn. While one bring warmth and the other brings cold. "

" That is rather unnerving. " She tensed up and did not dare to look Vivienne in the eyes. This is just the thing she had feared. Would that not be dangerous? Two masses filled with force could end badly if combined.

" I can imagine. " Vivienne let go of her hand and gave her a sympathetic look, but then a smile. " At any rate, you have a deep supply on your own. Many train for decades before they even have that. Were you self taught? " Ithilwen held her hand in the air, observing it as Vivienne kept the dialog going.

" Not at all. I studied most of my magic with my father and keeper. " She turned around the hand in different angles before slowly let it fall back to her side.

" Most of it? " The Madame tilted her chin sligthly upwards and raised one eyebrow in curiosity.

" After the Breach I experienced some..Difficulties with the mark. Solas is helping me through that. "

“ I see. “ Vivienne spoke so soft and quietly Ithilwen almost had not heard her. They stood in silence for a while, observing the open sea. It just so happens that Solas and Blackwall walked passed them, when Vivienne addressed him.

 

" So, an apostate is helping the Herold? " Solas turned to her, looked over her for a quick observation. Ithilwen gazed upon them with curiosity and confusion. There had been a sudden change in the female mage's tone and aura. Once Solas stood just a few feet away he acknowledged her statement.

" That is correct, Enchanter. I did not train in your circle. "

" Well dear, I hope you can take care of yourself, as well as our Herald, should we encounter anything outside your expertise. " Ithilwen stiffened and shocked gazed at Vivienne. Her rather cold comment directed for Solas had made her nervous and disgusted. He has shown great strength on and outside the Battlefield, and was worthy of respect.

" I will try, in my own thumbeling way, to learn from how you helped seal the rifts at Haven. “ Solas had placed the palm of his hand against his chest and carried a rather curious look on his face. He looked sincere, but after a quick paus he straightened his back, raising his finger upp in the air with piercing eyes and smug smile. “ Ah, wait. My memory misleads me. You were not there. " The Enchantress took the hint and instead of a comeback she urged the conversation to her original point.

" In my own experience, nothing is more deadly to a young mage than a lack of knowledge. Which makes the current state of things.. Precarious. " She turned her attention to Ithilwen once more. " What do you imagine will happen if the circles are not restored? Do you foresee the Dalish taking us all under their wing? "

" The war benefits no one. It must end, and order must be restored. " _Although I wonder if the order we are thinking about is not one and the same._ Ithilwen thought to herself. She knew the Enchanter to be power driven. It did not take a genius to see that. But earlier she had held a respect for the woman, and had valued her opinion. It now slowly turned into distrust, and that is never good. She could not afford that, neither with the game, nor at the battlefield.

Vivienne had swallowed her answer without question. She thought Ithilwen naive and young, which for the most part was true, but one should not judge a dog by its hair. She smiled victoriously.

" If only the rebels saw things so clearly. Justinia's death has shattered the balance of power in Thedas. If it is not restored quickly, countless lives will be lost. Mages, templars, innocent people of all kinds now look the the Inquisition to decide their fate. "

" And that's why you are here. To help decide that fate. " Blackwall added surly.

" Wouldn't you? For almost a thousand years, the world believed it was in the hands of the Maker. " She looked at Ithilwen. " And now many believe you are the agent of his will. Whatever the truth is, that belief gives you power. "

 

" I will not take advantage of peoples fears in order to get what I want. "

 

The sudden turn in Ithilwen mood had been noted by Vivienne. She was about to speak when Ithilwen waved her hand and cut her off.

" --Order has to return, yes. But we cannot go back to how things used to be. “ She paused and eyed both the mages who in return stared at her. “ The circle may or may not have been an institution of fear and respect, but the message has lost it's edge. I am not saying that we all should roam the country in aravels either. What I propose is that we shouldn't be secluded from the rest. People need to respect magic, but not through fear and faith. It should be driven by knowledge and actual facts. Not old universal truths that are forbidden to question. "

Vivienne looked shocked at Ithilwen. She had her fooled earlier. She was more cunning then she displayed. She did not manage to answer her though, for she had already turned her heel and aimed to leave. “ Now have a continued good evening. “ Ithilwen quickly walked away and jumped back up to her plattform. The peace she had regained from her meditation before the conversation had vanished. She felt herself sweat and almost fall as she aimed to sit.

The three saw as she stumbled away across the deck, then flew back up to the platform. The Enchantress quietly excused herself and went to her quarters.

" She needs to be careful around that one. “ Blackwall grunted to Solas as they saw her disappear through the hatch. “ The most beautiful are often the most poisonous. " Solas eyed the warden from his side, then back to Ithilwen.

 

“ Agreed. “

 

" Have we met before? "

Ithilwen was busy reading a book about human dining customs in her quarters that had been thrown at her from Josephine together with Sera. The desire to be left alone had been duly noted and ignored. Sera was talking loudly about different pranks she had put the nobles through during her stay in Val Royeaux. Then Isabela had walked passed the door and opened it. The pirate's question seemed strange.

" I don't think so? I've hardly met any humans before I went to the conclave. " She had been keeping on reading her book.

" Noo... There's something about you, something REALLY familiar about you.. It's been bugging me for days, but I can't figure it out." Isabella scratched the back of her head and leaned on one of her legs.

" I thought I smelled something burn. " Varric just so happens to enter the small cabin together with Blackwall and Josephine. Sera began to laugh through her nose. Even Ithilwen had a hard time not to laugh. Isabela simply chuckled amused.

" Take it easy on the lady, ser Dwarf. " Blackwall smirked and leaned on the door frame.

" Oh! Hush, Warden. I'm a perfect gentleman. " Varric raised his hands in a defensive position over his chest.

" Of course! " Isabela slapped her fist in her palm. Everyone, including Ithilwen looked at her. " She looks exactly like that Grey Warden! Ithilwen furrowed her brows in confusion.

" Who? “

" Really? Silver looks like her? " Varric looked at Itilwen, then back at Isabela.

" But what was her name again.. Lina..Luna..Lu-- That's right! Lumen! Lumen Surana! "

Ithilwen looked at Isabela with a newfound interest. " And we look like each other? "

" Oh you could be twins for all I know! I couldn't see it first since you have all those tattoos in your face. " The pirate gestured all over her face with her right hand while waving the other in the air eagerly, trying to get everyone quiet.

Ithilwen stared at Isabela, then to the wall, lost in thought. She knew her father had been part of another clan earlier. It wouldn't be impossible for him to have another child.

" But hey.. Wasn't she from the same circle as Anders? " Isabela continued on. Circle? The circle of magi? Then that would mean that she would have to be a flatear. Her father hated them, as much as humans. Her brows twitched in confusion and irritation.

" What? With Blondie? " Varric sounded surprised.

" Yes! The circle tower in Ferelden. Now that I think about it.. Didn't Cullen stay there as well? "

Ithilwen looked back at Isabela and Varric. He knew her? Why had he kept this from her? 

" And Leliana used to travel with her, during the Blight. "

The list went on and on. Suddenly a familiar feeling came over her.

 

Jealousy.

 

She had experienced it before, plenty of times. Whenever she saw a child walking hand in hand with his or her parents. Whenever she saw people laugh together with bright smiles on their faces. Whenever a father would raise his daughter in the air or tickle her. Whenever a father would comfort her from her pain, and wipe away her tears from her burning and soaked cheeks. It burned her deeply and she felt disgusted, not at the woman she had been compared too, but at herself.

With a swift motion she jumped up from the floor and stumbled upstairs. Varric and Isabela looked at each other with puzzled expressions.

 " Did I say something wrong? "

 

 

 

" Beriothien. Are you sure this is the right path? "

 

The big and hooded shadow before her rushed forward with heavy steps through the dark and damp tunnels. His pale and twisted face showed his sharp teeth when he smirked as he turned around to look at his friend. His raspy voice chuckled.

“ Have I ever lied to you? “

“ True enough. “ She sighed. In all their years of friendship he never had kept anything of importance hidden from her. He had been most loyal during the last ten years, even though their differences.

For weeks they had travelled beneath the earth. The others had to stay topside. In case she would not come back. If so happend, her next in command would have to take over.

_" If I do not return in three months I allow you to leave. Until then, stay close. Do not tell anyone what your mission is and where I am. "_

_" Commander, This is sodding insane. "_

_" Don't worry. I will be fine. "_

_"And if something does happen, what do I tell sparklefingers? Or the Piketwirler? "_

She put her hand on her short friends shoulder and laughed. His red eyebrows had been low and suspicious. Few people was as loyal as him. Even when his own wife attacked he would stand with her, a stranger.

_" Don't worry so much. "_

The others had disagreed, but they understood the situation. She had to go, even if it cost her life. She hugged her friends before departing.

 

Like most of the Deep Roads it smelled horrible. Strangely enough most because of the air. Sulfur and other gases rested in small air pockets between the mountains boulders. Old skeletons, dwarven and darkswan alike covered some of the caves flores. That ment there was spiders nearby. Others would have turned their heels. They ventured forward. That would be their next meal.

During her ten years of service she had learned much about their order. About their chains. She figured that her apetite was simular to the darkspawn's need to feed. The thought horrid her. Day by day she would slowly turn into a ghoul on her own, unless she found a cure. Finding something to eat was a challange, even if she had taken dried fruit and meat with her. They would eat that only if necessary. Both her companion and she was used to the taste of deepstalkers, but even they seemed to disappear the deeper they went. Nugs was a rarity, and a delicacy. They didn't taste as fishy as the deepstalker or perhaps a giant spider. There was no shortage of water, thank the creators. It was damp and hot down there. They had lost the track of time and thought of stopping for the day when Beriothien made a small raspy sound that told her that he had noticed something.

" Look. " Her companion pointed with his dark claw against a huge opening in the tunnel.

" Close.

They hurried towards the entrance. As they reached it they saw more light then they had seen in weeks. Veins of lyrium, blue and beautiful covered the sealing as well as the higher parts of the walls.

The halls had since long been forgotten and left alone for centuries. Dwarves didn't change much, but this place certanily looked different. It wasn't open like most thaigs or dwarven cities, it looked like a great neverending hall, filled with pillars, sculptured out of what seemed like dark blue onyx, for the walles as well as the pillars shined. There was no houses, but doors to several rooms alongside the walls instead. The floor was dark and blank, if not for all the dust it would have been possible to see your own reflection. Blue luriym lines had been implemented into the sealing, making it bright and possible to see where you put your feet. Every step echoed in the hall, bounced from the wall to the sealing and back down to the floor once again. It made the room feel ominus, and unsafe. Enemies would have had time to adjust to their surroundings, while they had not. They felt the whispers inside their mind, like a deep orchestra it boomed in her ears, but not in a threatening pace. They were calm, and awaited them.

 

This may have been one of the grander cities once, or perhaps a memorial built for the dead, like Bownammar. But the architecture was so unorthodox, several times she thought she saw elvhen influences, like the shape of the pillars. They weren't as big and clunky as the dwarven style, but thin and light, with soft curves. Perhaps it was an old tomb, for one of the old gods, or..

They walked out of the hall to a thin bridge with no railing, made by pure black stone that traced over a black hole. There was water though for they could hear it stream far beneath. With every step she felt herself drift away. The veil was thinner, much thinner then she was used to. She would need to keep her focus steady unless she wanted to find herself in the beyond. And who knew what kind of memories lurked there, uninfluenced by the living with the exception from darkspawn. Beriothien noticed her uneasiness and let his arm fall around her waist. She accepted it. He was much taller then her, but he would bow down so that she could lay her arm around his shoulder. Together they stumbled forward only to find themselves in another great hall. This one had been lit up by torches. She snorted. Veilfire. Along side the pillars and walls there were red and ripped banners flying in a small draft, with the mark of a skeleton dragon spitting three black drops. She felt better and let go of her companion.

" Thank you. " After a quick paus he spoke.

" He is close. " She nodded. " He is expecting us. "

" I feel it as well. "

The two hooded figures walked towards the greatest building, at the end of the hall carved intothe mountain wall. Two grand statues greeted them, around twenty feet tall, one on each side of the entrence. But unlike other dwarven statues they was not blocky or sharp. The features was soft and very alive. They stood proudly with a spear and a shield with no banner, but instead of rock they had been carved from pure lyrium. The great gate opend on it's own, displaying a long staircase down. They could feel him in their minds. They began the long walk downwards and entered a smaller hall with no pillars. The sealing was not covered by lyrium this time, but by mirrorglass, reflecting the light from the ground, making the hall bright, even if the walls and floor was as black as onyx. Hords with darkswan awaited them, although without sheated weapons. They quietly observed the duo as they made their way forward.

 

" It has been a long time. "

 

He was resting in an old throne, and like this very room the seat was carved into the wall. It held no decorations. The only thing special about it was the color of the stone. Light blue, like lyrium. He was clothed in the same garb he had worn all those years ago, but the mask he was wearing had a huge crack in it's left side, revealing the eye who was placed a lot lower then his other. Several darkspawn was gathered around, some mindless and a few like her companion.

" Father. " Beriothien walked another step, raising his arms in greeting.

" Messenger, I took you for dead. " He slowly rose up from his seat and walked forward to him, putting his long fingers alongside the messengers shoulders.

" My name is Beriothien now. She named me, gave me purpose. " Her companion smiled to his creator.

" I see. I thought all wardens ressistant of befriending my race, even naming them. " He now turned to face the woman besides his child.

The smaller figure lifted her hood and let out her silver white hair in order to observe her surroundings better.

" He, unlike others of your kind help. I will not kill those who seek peace. "

" You seek peace, with the darkspawn? " He observed her with a lifted eyebrow.

" No. Not for the moment. " She eyed the father, coldly observing his current state with her calculating ice blue eyes.

 

" I seek answers. "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update and short chapter. I've had a rather busy week, looking for a new job as well as planning a birthday suprise dinner for my mom. WHICH AIN'T EASY. I swear, she's like a bloodhound.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Banal - nothing  
> Beriothien - Defender


	10. Wounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Herald and her new companions finally arrives in Haven. But not in a preferable manner.

He stood hovering over his washbucket and glanzed to his reflection in the wall mirror. Several weeks of old scruff cladded his chin, and bags hanged from his eyes. He tilted his head around in different angles and grabbed his jaw between his fingers, inspecting the features in his face. _Seems that I've lost some weight_. He let go of his jaw, sighed and slowly fell down on his lower arms on the table that the washbucket rested on. The reason for his current state weighed heavy in his mind.

Where could she have gone?

His most trusted generals had kept their eyes and ears open, but nothing. She had simply vanished out of thin air. He slowly furrowed his brows and felt how his jaw clenched between his teeth.

Had she been at the conclave? She was a mage after all. The thoughts felt like venom inside his mind. If she had been she would be.. He took several sharp breaths. The thought of her gone would be unimaginable.

They had not spoken for years, even though he continued to write her. She never answered, and it infuriated him. He was the one that had ended it, yet he was the one having a hard time to let her go. He clenched his fists as well as his eyes as he imagined the smell from her skin, the depth from her eyes. The very vision of her smile had burned into his mind. She had marked him in more ways then one. He wanted her, so badly, but he was forever bound by a duty he would rather throw in the sea. His obsession over her made it even harder to watch for other spouse's, and his stepfather continued to present them. One after one they would be introduce themselves, eager at first. Then, angry or crying run their way. He banged his hands against the bucket in his anger, it backfired and splashed up on him. He cursed, loudly and began to wipe away the soaked spots on his shirt.

Suddenly the door creaked and a stream with light filled the room.

He tensed up and slowly turned around. A girl, no more then nine winters stood at the door. Her small frame clenched to the side of the entrance, the only really visible part was her almost white blonde curls.

" Adele. "

She hesitated at first, considering her options. Then she quickly sprinted over the room and threw herself around his waist, rubbing her face against the fabric of his shirt.

" Papa, don't be sad. "

He stood there for a while, feeling her tremble. He had been so selfish. He lived not only for his people, but for his child. He did not have time to look for ghosts that did not want to be found. He turned around and lowered his upper body and lifted her chin so he could gaze into her ice blue eyes.

" Don't worry, my little princess. " He rubbed his nose against hers. She smiled and began to giggle. That sweet and innocent sound only a child could achieve. She now threw her arms around his neck, he pulled her up and let her sit on his shoulders. She was still small and light enough. The servants stared at their lord as he unshaved and still in his sleeping shirt galloped passed them down to the kitchen laughing and mimicking a horse.

His stepfather stared at him as he entered his office, his mouth filled with cheese and bread.

Adele ran towards the elderly man, blabbering cheerfully without any stop.

" Grandpa! Grandpa! Papa promised me that we would go fishing next week! "

" Did he now? " He gave the younger man a lifted eyebrow. " You do know that you cannot afford to--"

" Oh, hush. " He waved off his father's protests while stuffing his mouth full with another piece of cheese. " One day will not hurt. "

Suddenly the door burst open and a younger version of the stepfather came rushing against them.

" Uncle Teagan? What are you do--? "

" Beg your pardon, brother and nephew, but I sorely need your help. "

 

 

It was late, and they just had arrived at the West Hill where they once had departed for the Orlaisien capital almost three weeks ago. Isabella waved them off as she and the crew went further east, to Denerim. The Herald and her friends would need to stay the night at West Hill, in the inn, Josephine insisted, because it was simply to late and to dark in order to continue the whole way to Haven. The ambassador saw Ithilwen as she was about to sneak out from the inn and caught her in the arm just in time.

" And you will come with me. You already missed three lessons. "

Ithilwen did not say anything, but glarded back at the ambassador with an icy look. Unfortunately for the Herald the other woman had become used to her empty threats by now.

" Oh stop, one more won't hurt. Besides, you are in dire need of a bath. "

Bathing was also a rather new experience. She would simply have stepped into a river with her clan, and back in Haven she would only have taken a bucket and thrown it over her head. In Val Royeaux she had been forced down in a tub with hot water and rose petals. She thought it a waste on the flowers, but she did smell rather nice afterwards. The inn would of course not offer the same kind of luxury, but it was possible to get a wooden tub brought to the small quarters. The Inn was not the fanciest, but good enough for any Ferelden noble.

The town of West Hill had over a short period of time become a trading post for the northwest side of Ferelden. Earlier every ship would have gone to Denerim and would transport their wares through wagons. But now this port had become a stop on the way from Orlais. Not so strange, with the new reforms that the Dwarven King had made in Orzammar. West Hill was the closest port.

King Aeducan, unlike his predecessors had opened up for the lesser casts and allowed more opportunities for the taller races of Thedas to venture down and visit his city. Ten years ago it would be unheard off to let the castless have a decent living, let alone the right to purchase property outside of Dust Town. The King, well his wife, loved things that only was possible to order on the surface, so he had taken the time to offer trading contacts with the Merchants guild topside. Highly unorthodox, since the other's of his kin only wanted tradition to supervise everything. Despite many and rather drastic changes the people had come to love him. He was not afraid of taking action, and cared little for tradition that only slowed him down.

Josephine had dragged her into her room, asked for a tub with hot water from the servant. The Ambassador turned around to speak one last time with the Herald.

" I will leave you to your bath, but I'll be back in an hour. Alright? "

Ithilwen did not answer, did not even nod in acknowledgement. Instead she would simply look through the window and the glowing moon. The ambassador waited for a response for what seemed like minuits, that never came. She gave up, sighed and left. Soon after the Servant was back with a few people carrying buckets with hot water that they pored in a large wooden tub, located by the window. Another of the servants had brought a basket with different perfumes as well as soapes and left it at the counter that stood next to the door, for she was to afraid of Ithilwen to dare walk further into the room. They bowed and exited.

Ithilwen had kept herself busy by staring at the moon, but now had the time to observe the room. It was not as luxurious as her room back in Val Royeaux, but certainly had a tasteful theme. The furniture, as well as floor was made out of wood. The walls was made out of grey stone, and had been covered by linnen to close the draft. The curtains was made out of dark red velvet, but held no patterns. The room felt cozy in it's simplicity, instead of extravagant.

After some hesitation she walked over to the wooden tub, sighed and began to undress. She had only worn one of her simple blue linen tunics, but even that had become dirty from the trip. She tossed it to the floor and tried to dip her toes into the water, it stinged against her rather cool skin. After a few tries she almost jumped down in the tub. Some of the water had splashed outside and made the rug wet. She let out a few quick breaths, taking in the heat and with one quick motion she had lowered her whole body under the surface. She missed bathing outside, to swim in great lakes. Bathing inside was certainly something more comfortable, but diving with the different speices of fishes was a feeling indescribable. When she finally couldn't hold her breath any longer she went up again. The warmth of the hot water had settled nicely and she eventually leaned back to the edge, sighing.

 

Suddenly the mark in her hand stinged and she had to take hold of it.

Fortunately there had been no rifts close to Val Royeaux for her to close, and that made her feel better. With every rift she had closed she felt more disconnected to her mind and body, and it frightened her. She held no illusions that she would survive closing the Breach, and it made her feel sad. She had come to care for her companions during their short time together. No matter how much she tried to put distance between them and herself. It would be better, in the long run. And if she did survive, she would need to return to her clan. There was no other way. She would certanily miss them. Especially Solas.

Pride.

Whatever she saw in him made her feel weird. He was so much like her own father, but kind, gentle and patient. The resemblance was frightening.

But unlike her father Solas had grown up on his own, in a human village far from civilization. He carried a graze very unlike city elves. He certainly was exotic. And no matter his rather different views she found herself fascinated by him.

But she had became angry with him as well. He treated her like a child, and kept information about her condition away from her, about the mark. 

He really was another version of her father, the way he was all mysterious and kept secrets.

She looked at the other side of the room. She had forgotten the basket with the soaps. She stared at it for a short moment, hesitated. Then quickly went up, ran over the room, grabbed the basket and almost jumped back in the tub. The warmth from the water quickly settled back and she could not help herself from giggling.

The contents of the basket were a couple of hard soaps, but also a vial with some kind of yellow liquid. She opened the lid and sniffed it, fresh. Lemon. Normally in her past she would never have cared about how she smelled, but had quickly taken upon the habit to do so. The cities, as well as many of the humans stink, more so then her clan ever had. Even Hallas seemed to smell better then the lower streets in Val Royeaux.

She turned the small vial upside down, letting it's contents drop down in her bath. The room was soon filled with the fresh aroma. It stinged her nose a little, better senses was not always to the benefit. After a while she would lean down to the edge and loose herself to the warmth of the water.

She never really got to enjoy her bath for long though. Someone knocked on the door.

" Hold a moment. "

She quickly went up again and wrapped a cloth that had been placed next to the tub. Had it been Josephine she would have told her so. She could not hear who it was, neither smell because of the different soaps. She tripped slowly over to the door. But when she opened it she was greeted by an empty and cold hall. She observed it only for a short moment, then closed it. Curing she tossed the cloth to the floor and went back into the tub.

But once she leaned back and looked up at the sealing she saw two men clinging to the beams that held the draperies. Their eyes met and in but a moment she had thrown herself up from the bath. The two men was almost upon her immediately. She managed to doge their knives just in time, only to slip on the wet floor.

While she had been distracted a mage and two new guards had entered the room through the door, for she could feel the different flow of mana in the room. 

He threw an ice bolt and it managed to pierce her shoulder. The sudden impact threw her back against the wooden railing of the window and nailed her against it. The sudden pain threw her out of balance, and the magic in the mark began to flow freely on it's own. The mage slowly walked forward and observed her from a short distance.

" Time to say goodnight. "

She stared angrily back at him while the eye began to glow green and threatening. Sweat erupted on her forehead and her upper lip. Without being able to stop it she could feel herself slip away and become the monster she desperately had tried to ignore for weeks. She shut her eyes closed, trying to keep the animal inside, but it was already to late. Her eyes flew open, and the eye white has turned black. It was finally out, and she had no way of stopping it.

Ignoring the pain she let her feet touch the ground and slowly began to forcing her way forward. The flesh involuntarily parted way for the spike and soon a huge trempeling hole was visible in her shoulder. It was so large that moonlight slipped in between from the window behind her.

Shocked the two guards behind the mage began to walk backwards, even the mage had a hard time to stand his ground, but he showed no expressions.

Blood dripped from her shoulder and soon it flowed down between the floorboards beneath her bare feet. Naked, unarmed and injured mattered little to her. She was already lost to her nature. Both the mage and his company waited for her to make a move. And soon, without hesitation she launched herself forward with lightening speed towards the mage, who easily took a step to the side before she managed to lay hand on him.

It did not matter, she aimed for one of his alleys instead. In a heartbeat she had landed him on the floor and ripped out his throat. The other guard lost his nerve and was about to flee, but she had taken hold of his throat in no time. The wall behind him was showered in blood. The other two guards that had entered with the mage backed away. Observing, but not engaging, leaving her and the mage to their fates. The Leader was calm, but even he had a hard time to avoid her completely. She dashed around the room, breaking the walls with the raw power of her punches as well as one of the beams that held the sealing. The pillar fell down on one of the guards. Paniced the guard tried to free himself, but he had broken his leg and a few ribs. Suddenly a shaddow was over him. His eyes widend in terror.

” No! Please! ”

Too late. She had already broken his neck with a well aimed kick. The other guard raised his sword and looked around for the exit.

” Monster, over here! ” The mage had thrown an ice spell on her, and regained her interest. Slowly she turned around and growled at him.

The mage desperately began to throw fire and ice at her, that she never avoided. Lost in rage she did not think, only focused on his movements. He threw another fireball that hit her injured arm and burned it badly. Screaming she flew back against the wall and hit her head. Slowly her body glided down and rested against the broken stone wall. The mage stared at her, but then quickly ran towards her and when she lifted her claw he pierced it to the ground with the edge of his staff, holding her in check. The animal in her had vanished, and she groggily looked up at the mage above her. He knew she was harmless, for the green in her eye was not as vicious as it had in the beginning of the battle. He tilted her chin upwards to face him and grinned victoriously.

" Southerners needs to learn their place. You will make a good example. " She did not respond, only stared with a blank expression at the stranger in front of her.

" And tevinters needs to learn when to stay out. "

A large man, no giant walked inside, in the company of a young man with a shaved haircut and golden eyes who had pierced his sword through the last guard that had acompined the Mage. 

” Do not come any closer, or she dies! ” The mage threatened. The horned giant only smiles in response.

” I would not be so quick to threaten my escape, mage. ” The giant had a low and booming voice that echoes in the trashed room. He clicked his tongue and eyed the Mage with a cold expression. ” All your alleys are dead, or captured. ”

” Yo-- You lie! ” The mage blurted out. He now looked worried.

”Surrender, and I'll let you live. ” The one eyed giant took another step.

” I mean it! " He yelled in panic. " Not another step! ” The mage now took hold of Ithilwen hair and pullen her face upwards.

” Try to hurt her any further. See what happens. ” The giant had let his sword fall from his shoulder. They stood quiet for a long time, before the mage spoke once more.

” Will you let me go? ”

” Go? No, but live. ”

The mage took a deep breath and let his staff as well as his hold of Ithilwen hair drop and she fell down to the ground, exhausted.

" Krem, take care of the lady. I'm going to have a chat with our little tevinter. " The horned giant took hold of the Mage and went outside the room. He had to duck several times because of his hight and horns, and draperies hanged loose everywhere in the room.

" Sure, cheif. "

The young man with the shaved haircut walked to her, dragged away one of the bed linens and threw it around Ithilwen shoulders and pulled her up. She stumbled on her legs and eventually fell to his arms. He instantly took hold of her badly burned shoulder and he noticed that blood had colored her left side.

" Ah shit! " He cursed, turned around and yelled. " Need a healer! "

" Solas.. "

" What? " The man looked down at her with worried eyes, but she slowly felt the darkness surround her.

 

Everything went faster after that. She never really did faint, but she was not awake either. New sensations hit her from time to time, the pain in her eye and hand would shock her, then a throbbing pain in her shoulder. But the worst was the nausea and migraine. Her vision as well as her hearing was blurry for a long time, before she managed to hear a familiar voice and grip surround her. 

" Cullen.. "

The hold of her tensed, and it hurt, but to exhausted she remained quiet and opend her eyes. Her Templar looked down at her with a concerned expression, the small scar on his upper lip would follow the skin upwards as his mouth had become a thin line.

" Shh, don't talk. You've lost a lot of blood. "

She smiled. This was a rather familiar situation, although this time she was the one being badly wounded. He would probably not remember, but she felt it vital to utter it nonetheless. In case she would not make it. 

" You're very observant, human. " She felt how he suddenly tensed up.

" Stop wasting energy! " Solas almost yelled at her side. " Do you wish to die right here? " 

Her smile only widened further. " No, I would prefer to die with my sword in my hand. " Her hand reached up the Cullen's jaw, to his upper lip, but soon fell down to her chest once more.

Cullen stared down at Ithilwen as he carried her in his arms. She was pale and her shoulder had a hole in it. Solas had been healing her the whole way from West Hill in the carriage, but even he started to become exhausted. A dark skinned woman in mage robes walked with Solas and Cullen as he made their way to the Chantry. Solas stayed outside, he was to tired and would let the other mage take over.

The plan to go unnoticed has been foiled, and since they hardly had any of their own men stationed over there and Isabella had went away with the ship they had no choice but to return to their base. Cassandra had yelled for a healer as soon as they ridden over the stone bridge connecting Haven to the Imperial High road. A company with men and woman had followed them, as body guards. The company held many different faces you don't expect to find in a legion, this was mercenaries, but not the regular kind. Elves, humans as well as dwarves all rode with them. Most noticeable was the large Qunari in the lead, having a broadsword and an eyepatch covering his left eye.

After a while Cullen noticed that her body seemed more torbid then earlier.

” Lady Lavellan? "

She did not answer. Her eyes had closed once again and her lips was as blue as her tunic, and she drew no breath.

" Lady Lavellan! " He repeated, but still she would not answer.

" Ithilwen! "

 

She found herself in a glowing forest, filled by blooming birches and beeches. Slowly she would walk through the forest and observe the surroundings. The ground was covered by shimmering leaves from the last season, and at certain places big rock boulders would be covered by green and white moss. The sun was about to set and it's light lit up the ground, made the damp in the moss glow golden, as well as the leaves on the ground and in the sky. It smelled earthly and muddy, like late spring. Small and simple white flowers erupted between the leaves here and there, wood anemone, her favourite. All kinds of birds singed up in the treetops and after a while she began to sing with them.

" Ithilwen. "

It had only been a whisper, but she had heard it without any sort of difficulty. She stiffened up, and slowly turned around.

Sadron.

He stood a couple of feet away, with the light in his back. He looked worried, and tired. She smiled and spoke. She had truly missed the companionship from her childhood comrade.

" Anath'ara, Sadron. "

" Where are you? "

She stiffened once more. With a confused expression she began to stumble on her words. " What are you talking about? "

" Ithilwen! " He shouted this time, stared right through her, like she was not even there. She tried to answer him again, but now he began to run against her. He came so fast that she believed they could bump into each other. Out of natural instinct she raised her hands and shut her eyes, but nothing ever happens.

" Ithilwen! "

She turned around and saw his back as he continued forward. He ran alongside the path she had walked earlier. She felt a knot tense up in her lower abdomen. He had walked through her, like she had been air.

Panicked and confused she followed him as he ran through the forest. The scenery slowly changes around them, and it began to snow. There were fewer and fewer trees and they began to run through snow that became deeper with every step. Sadron ran alongside a snowy hill and she followed suit. Once at the top she stopped and breathed hard. She recognized the surroundings, for small cabins dotted the landscape. Most noticeable was a large lake. It, as well as a waterfall connected to it was frozen solid. A Large stone bridge with towers hovered over it and made way to a small village with a large building located highest. A Chantry.

She looked down again and saw Sadron at the lake. She began to run to him, but had a hard time not to fall down in the snow. It had become deeper and deeper and with the raw power from her will she made her way forward. Finally she reached him at the lake, standing a few feet away. She gasped for air and in the next breath she called for her brother.

" Sadron. "

He turned around, and the worried expression that had been glued to his face earlier now turned into horror. He stared at her, then began to walk backwards. Confusion hit her once more. He could see her, she knew this, but not why he would turn from her.

" Sadron? "

 

" Monster. Get away from me. "

 

She instantly turned back in order to get a look on this monster, but was instead greeted by a pile with bodies, molested and bloody. She stared at it for only a short moment, when she noticed that red footmarks trailed up to her, and when she looked down on her feet they had become black and covered with fur. Horrified she looked down on her hands that had turned into claws, and they were covered in fresh blood. She looked back at Sadron, only to find his head ripped from body in her arms. Suddenly she saw the reflection of her wolfy grin and green eyes in his pale dead eyes. 

Lost on panic she threw it away and walked backwards. Her senses overpowered her and she could feel the taste of blood as well as the smell in her nostrils. Suddenly she tripped and fell down on her back. When she tilted her head in order to get a look at the thing that has tripped her she was greeted by another bloody head.

Cullen.

His jaw had been ripped off, and there was two large holes where there once had been a pair of honey coloured eyes. His normally tanned skin had turned grey, like as. She rose up from the ground and saw the figure of Cassandra, together with Josephine a couple of feet away. She ran, fell and crawled to them in heartbeat, but once she reached the woman she saw that her throat had been ripped out. Josephine who was beside her had been scared deeply in her face. Wherever she turned she would see another of her companions, all dead and with either ripped off limbs, heads or slashes from her claws. The frozen lake had become red, as well as the setting sun. The ice cracked and dead bodies began to flow up between the ice blocks. Varric floated on one of them and Sera had been crushed between the one the dwarf rested on and another block. Lost in a frenzy she ran around and began to breath harder.

 

" You killed me. "

 

Her breathing stopped, and when she slowly turned around she saw another woman, a shaddow with ash grey hair and pale blue, almost white eyes. Her silver Vallaslin was formed like tree branches, stretching over her white and pale cheeks as well as her forehead. Mythal. The mark of the all-Mother.

" Thief! " The shadow spat at her. Ithilwen could only stare a the being before her. She knew her. All to well, even though they never had been introduced to each other. She was her first victim, her first regret. No words would ever make things right.

" GIVE IT BACK! " 

The woman screamed and in just a second he had her hands around Ithilwen throat. Without being able to push her away she fell to the ground, deeper and deeper. The light started to fade around her, and she could not breathe. Thumping sounds marched in her ears as she tried to gasp for air.

 

" This is not real. "

 

His calm voice echoed in her mind. She tilted her head to the lake and saw Solas as he erupted from the bloody water. Unlike her he was not covered in blood. His feet did not leave trails in the snow, and the water did not soak his green robe. The agonized spirit keep her hold on her throat, but she could not hear it as it tried to strangle her. She only felt his gaze, his voice.

 

" Wake up. "

 

 

 Suddenly there was excruciating pain in her whole being, heat as well as cold thumping in the flesh. She opened her eyes, the sudden light stinged and she had to blink several times before she could make out the shape of the Enchantress standing over her, dark blue light surrounded her hands that hovered over Ithilwen bare chest.

Unable to contain her agony she screamed while arching her back from the bed she had been laid upon. The magic in the mark flared on its own accord, and she could not concentrate enough to stop it. Vivienne suddenly stared at the elf, but soon found her earlier pace.

" Hold her still! I need to concentrate on her wound! " Vivienne yelled to Cassandra, who now also stood besides her. Ithilwen tried to move, desperate to wash off the vice-like feeling, but was held back by the Seeker who hushed her motherly and calm.

" We are here, you are alright. Shh, calm. " Her touch was gentle, but it burned her sore skin.

" Don't touch me! "

Shocked Cassandra stared at the girl beneath her at the bed. She was shaking from the terror and pain. Determined the Seeker closed her eyes, bowed down and let her forehead touch Ithilwen. " Do not be afraid. I will not leave you again. "

Ithilwen whimpered and shut her eyes. Despite the pain she tried to relax, but it worked very little. Every pulse with magic felt like a thousand needles piercing through her. After what seemed like hours the madame let her hands fall down to her sides.

Vivienne straightened her back and sighed in relief. She was done.

" The worst part is over, all we need to do now is put on a bandage. " The madame slowly pulled Ithilwen in the arm, helping her to sit. " You are one lucky young lady. Had it not been for the qunari you would be dead by now. "

Ithilwen, too tired to speak only nodded. Vivienne was about to pick pick up her left arm, in order to have a look at her work, but Ithilwen snatched it away. Vivienne quickly took it back and then wrapped some cloth around it. It stinged horrible and the Herald had a hard time not to keep down her pained hiss. Once Vivienne was done she was allowed to lay down again.

Cassandra tried to take hold of her other hand, but the elf quickly moved it away. Vivienne gathered her bag with healing poultices and different vials that was scattered around the room.

" I will take my leave. "

" Thank you. " Cassandra nodded.

The Enchanter only waved off her gratitude. " No need to thank me, healing is my speciality. Do take care of yourself, my dear. " She quickly exited the small room.

Ithilwen hadn't noticed it earlier, but this was neither the room back in West hill, neither was it her cabin or the ship. It was Cassandras room back in Haven.

" When did we get back? "

" Just an hour ago. " 

" What happend? "

" You were attacked back in West Hill. "

" By whom? "

" Nevermind that. How are you feeling? "

" I'm fine. " It came out of natural instinct, and the memories from her nightmare still lingered. Ithilwen did not trust herself not to harm her companions, and would rather keep her away.

" Bullshit. " Cassandra flared up. " You have been acting strange ever since the trip back from Val Royeaux. You won't sleep, nor eat, and you look like you could pass out any moment. "

" I am alright, Cassandra. You don't need to wo-- "

" But I am worried! " Cassandra grabbed hold of her shoulders, but instantly let go when Ithilwen arm shuddered.

" Forgive me.. " Cassandra rose up from the bed and walked around the room. Her hand had found her forehead.

" Two times now. " She stopped in the middle of the room, stood quiet for a short moment. Then she turned around, but she kept her eyes away from the wounded Herald. " Two times have you been hurt because of my miscalculations. "

" Cassandra, you had no way of knowing-- "

" Of course i had! " Cassandra cut her off. She now raised her head and looked at Ithilwen with a pained expression. " It is my job to protect you and I've failed miserably. "

Ithilwen felt panic come knocking, but tried to keep her voice cool and calm. " You haven't. "

" Yes, I have. "

" No, you have not. " Ithilwen eyed her harshly. She was bad at handling others pains, just as her own, but she needed to reassure her. Cassandra had been one of her closest friends during their travels.

" Did I even do the right thing? " The seeker walked over to her and once again sat next to her on the bed.

" What do you mean? "

" What I have set in motion could destroy everything I hold dear. Everything I have revered my whole life. "

Ithilwen remained quiet. This must have been bothering her for quite a while, to suddenly open up was unusual for the seeker just as much as it was for herself.

" One day they might write about me as a traitor, a fool. A mad woman. " She lowered her face in her hands. " And they might be right. "

Ithilwen raised her hand in order to let it brush the Seekers back, but once she looked at it she remembered the claws from her dreams, the ripped out throat. Quickly she drew it back. Quickly she cleared her throat.

" You never really had any choise. "

" Didn't I? " She sighed and flew up from the bed again. " My trainers always said, Cassandra, you are to brash. You must think before you act. " The seeker let her hands flow up, illustarting the movement of an irritated teacher lechuring his pupil, then turned around and looked straight at Ithilwen. " I see what must be done, and I do it! I see no point in running around in circles like a dog chasing it's tail. "

" And that only worked to our benefit. The chantry may not have helped us, but at least they wont work against us either. Have faith in yourself. "

The seeker observed Ithilwen from her position. " Just as I have faith in you. " The seekers eyes softened and she almost whispered.

" I really did misjudge you in the beginning, did I not? " She tilted her hear a bit to the side. " I thought the answer was before me, clear as day. I cannot afford to be so careless again. "

" It wasn't like you had no reason to suspect me. " Ithilwen spoke softly. She understand her feelings. She too would have done the same. Especially now, knowing what kind of monster she was.

" I was determined to have someone answer for what happend. Anyone. " She turned around and began to walk to the door. She was about to open it but hesitated and turned around one last time.

" You say that you don't believe. "

Ithilwen remained quiet and observed the seeker standing on the other side of the room. Even this far away she could trace curiosity in her eyes.

" Does that mean.. You also don't believe in the maker? "

Ithilwen averted her gaze for a quick moment. She had no answer that would please her. It would probably only upset her. Her eyes caught the older woman one last time.

" Truth be told, I do not believe in any kind of divinity. "

" ..How can you not believe? " Cassandra blurted out. She did not seem to believe her own ears. " What about your elven gods? "

" Not even them. " Ithilwen looked deep into the older womans eyes without any hesitation.

" I .. I see. I suppose it does not matter. I believe we were set on this path for a reason. I will believe, even if you do not. Now it simply remains to see where it leads us. Rest well. "

Hesitantly Ithilwen called out to her friend one last time. " Cassandra? "

" Yes? "

" I may tell you, one day. "

The Seeker only smiled in response and slowly closed the door. Ithilwen once again let her body fall to the mattress.

 

 

_If I survive the breach, that is._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for my absence. My brother and I took a last minute trip to Gran Canaria. Paid about 120 EU each for airplane tickets AND hotel room. *Puts on my newly bought sunglasses.* YEEEAAH. I'm as red as a stop sign. But it was totaly worth it.
> 
> Anyway, this chapter is a bit shorter, and I promise that I will release a new one soon. Hope ya'll had two nice weeks.


	11. Lingering scars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bull finally get's to introduce himself and Ithilwen & co finally makes their way to Redcliffe.

 

_" you're very observant, human. "_

 

Those words. They had been his once.

 

Silver white hair, falling down from her shoulder as she had bent over him. A black tooth dangling in the air from her throat. Blue eyes, white skin. The smell of wildflowers. Easier to breathe. A pair of small hands around his chin and jaw.

His hand reached the right side of his lip, at the small scar.

 

_" Ir abelas, shem. There will be a scar here. "_

 

He flew up from his chair and quickly drew pained breaths as the migraine marched in his head.

No wonder he had thought her familiar before. She was the very same girl he had met three years ago, in the Pantheon Forest back in the Free Marches, right after the Mage Rebellion in Kirkwall. He had been hunting a criminal gang of apostates and smugglers for days, but had been deeply wounded in his last fight.

All this time, she had known him, but he not her.

He knew the lyrium could have caused it. Ever since he had stopped taking it more memories had returned, he felt better. But sometimes it would rebound, he's knees would go weak, pain would sting even more. Food would turn into ash in his mouth and would as soon as he had swallowed it return back up. The migrain he could get was almost intolebre.

 

But that was when he was awake.

 

Sleeping was an entirely different matter. The Fade, the realm of dreams would sometimes take him back to the tower during Uldred's revolt ten years ago. Trapped he had been forced to watch his comrades fall to temptation. One after one.

Other times he saw Meredith, as she raised her sword at Hawke.

Worst was the part when he felt the fingers, claws around his torso, as her nails scratched the surface of his sweating skin, feeling her naked breasts against his back while her horned head leaned in next to his his ear, whispering flirtatious and suggested idéas that had bounced around his most inner thoughts with the voice of a woman forever forbidden from him.

It had not been love, he knew that now. Just a fantasy. A filthy and shameful want of a young man he no longer was.

He would die, right there in the woods, exhausted and..

Alone.

And he deserved it.

Tired he had been awaiting the darkness to surround him. He would embrace it. There would just be another fight, another war. He have had enough.

But she had interfered.

And she saved him, despite her origin. An elf. Mage, even.

Several times she had wanted to speak with him, but he needed to do something else. Several times her eyes had been filled with one question. A question he had not understood at the time, but now was clear as day.

 

_" Do you remember me? “_

 

The Madame quickly walked through the Chantry hall, back to the room that had been addressed to her earlier. She practically ran through the entrance, turned around and quickly closed the door. It took her great effort not to slam it. After staring into the wood for what seemed like hours she turned her back and let it fall against the wood, letting out the deep breath she just realized she had been holding. Her eyes had squeezed together and the brows frowned deeply, wrinkling her nose on her otherwise smooth face.

The Herald's eye had been green. Glowing, like the Breach itself.

 

_" After the Breach I experienced some..Difficulties with the mark. "_

 

She had been badly burned back in West Hill, but there were no traces of her injury now. Not even a scar to remind her. Even the wound in her shoulder looked better. She almost choked on her breath.

Better?

It was entirely _different_. 

It had been a hole right through her shoulder, large enough to pull your arm through. Now the flesh, as well as her bone, had healed, out of thin air. Wounds do not heal like that, the flesh was gone, had been ripped apart.

 _It would be impossible to grow new flesh like that_. Her hand quickly found her forehead while she quickly corrected herself.

It _was_ impossible.

The way she had healed was unlike anything she ever had heard of.

The girl was not right.

Fear instantly caught the Enchantress. Whatever she had headed into was way more dangerous than she first had anticipated.

And now she was stuck with the crazed organization, unable to flee. She would need to be careful.

 

Gasping and sweating Solas flew up from his bed. It took him longer then usual to figure out the familiar shape of his small house, with it's wooden door and floor, the small fireplace and counter filled with different scrolls and books. After finally setteling his calm his head fell into his hands.

The image of his pupil drowning in her disbelief and regrets had shaken him more than he first would have thought possible.

The trip back to the village had been a living and all to real nightmare. The girl had lost a lot of blood, and keeping her awake had been incredible difficult, even for him. He knew not how she had gotten that hole in her shoulder, but without her new healing abilities she would certainly have perished. Once back in Haven he had been to exhausted to continue. Unwilling he had to leave her to Vivienne. He lifted his face up and looked through the small window.

Magic did not flow as naturally in this age as it had centuries ago. In time, it might be gone for good.

Almost instantly he had fallen asleep, despite his worries. And once in the Fade he began his search.

It was easy. Her attuned skills for magic and the smell of the mark led him right to her.

But he had almost been too late.

She was being strangled by a spirit of regret, and vengeance.

They were not unusual, especially not now when war ravaged the world. But they hardly ever engaged themselves with the living so closely.

He knew she had not been sleeping for weeks. At first he had thought it was because of the mark.

But really, it was her fears and regrets.

He quickly let his feet find the floor and pulled on his small tunic. He needed to get to her.

 

Ithilwen was making her way to the war room. She had at several occasions walked right into the wall. One thought had been keeping her lost and unable to focus on anything else.

Solas had been in her dream.

It had not been the first time. Even she knew him to be powerful. All those years back she had been left outside her clans campement. 

She had always wondered how she had gotten there. Eventually she had settled with the only reasonable answer.

She had dozed off outside their camp.

 

But in reality, it had been him, all along.

 

But how?

 

He did not know that she belonged to a clan, less where they had been located.

He really was mysterious, exotic and so foreign. Far more knowledgeable than any of her old storytellers. She felt intrigued by him, yet she needed to put distance between them.

If she were to die closing the breach she didn't need someone crying at her tree.

And if she would survive, she would need to return, and never see him again.

 

" Did he think we would not notice? " Ithilwen stopped in front of the door, the room was obviously already being used. " He's killed Farrier, one of my best agents. And knows where the others are. " She turned to leave, when she heard the spymaster speak with a lowered voice. " You know what must be done. Make it clean, painless if you can. "

Ithilwen perked her ears. She had heard of him before. Leliana didn't shy from complimenting her better agents. And now she would kill him. The door to the war room flew up, and she stepped inside.

" What are you doing? "

Leliana turned around, holding a small paper with scribbles in her hand besides a young redheaded agent. She turned back and answered with a uninteressted voice. "

" He betrayed us. He murdured my agent. "

Ithilwen took another step forward. " And you'd kill him? Just like that? "

The Spymaster's aura became dark. Her voice even more so " You find fault with my decision? "

" When it comes to these kinds of treatments, I do. " Despite the trouble, Ithilwen let her arms cross. It stinged, but felt it nececarry to make her stand.

Leliana turned around with lightening in her eyes. " I cannot afford to be sloppy. " The Spymaster growled while rushing forward to face her opposition. " Butlers betrayal put our men in danger! I may not like what I do but it must be done. I cannot afford the luxury of ideals at a time like this! "

Ithilwen gave her a long and cold glare in turn. " Now is _precisely_ the time for ideals. "

Leliana looked at her shocked, eventually her brows furrowed. She went back to her table.

The cloaked woman took a step back with a deep sigh. " You feel very strongly about this. " She looked over her documents again. " Very well. I will think of another way to deal with this man. " Leliana turned to her agent. " Apprehend Butler, but see that he lives. "

The room went silent as the agent left. The air still felt thick with irritation.

" How are you feeling? " The spymaster finally asked softly. She was about to put her hand on Ithilwen's shoulder, but the young elf strangely enough slowly slipped away from her grasp.

" I'm fi-- " She stopped in the middle of her sentence and adverted her gaze. " I'm getting better. "

Leliana sneakily looked over Ithilwen as she rested againt the table. She wore a bandage over her shoulder, but otherwise she didn't look that bad. The qunari claimed that the skin of her arm had been badly burned earlier, but there did not seem to be any trace of her injury. Ithilwen sighed and turned to the spymaster.

 " I'd appreciate if you could summon the others. "

Leliana gave her a concerned look back. " Are you sure you're up to it?

" I am. We need to act quickly. There is much to discuss. "

  

“ We had found a couple of notes at the Storm Coast, mentioning observations about your little Herald. We decided to follow them, since the leader had gone to West Hill, and we needed him for the bounty. "  

 

The Iron Bull, he had called himself. Fitting, since he had the horns of one. He was the leader of the Chargers, a mercenary group. Leliana explained that he was a Qunari, one of the horned races from Seheron and Par Vollen. Cullen stood at her side, nervously shaking. Ithilwen didn't notice. His eyes would from time to time turn to her, and get caught in her silver white hair, sometimes at the form of her Vallaslin, and the shape of her ears. Bull noticed, and wiggled his brows to him. Suprised Cullen would cough and turn away his gaze from them both.

" You have seen us fight. " The horned guest continued. " Well. A little of it, anyhow. We're expensive, but we're wort it. And I'm sure the Inquisition can afford us. " Ithilwenj squinted her eyes, holding her arms crossed.

" You're quick to offer your blade for our cause. "

The horned giant gave her a nod, then a serious look in return. " There's one other thing. Might be usefull, might piss you off. "

Ithilwen kept her mouth shut and looked straightly at him. The giant took the hint and continued.

" Ever heard of the Ben-Hassrath? "

" Never. "

" They are a qunari orginization. " Leliana filled in at her side. " The equivalent of their guards, city watch or secret police. " 

" I'd go closer with spies, but yeah, that's them. " Iron bull nodded, then tilted his head back to Ithilwen.

 

" Or, well. Us. "

 

The Herald furrowed her brows even deeper. " You're a Qunari spy, and you just.. "

" The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. " He interrupted as he stepped closer. " Magic out of control like that could cause trouble everywhere. Whatever happend at the Conclave thing, it's bad. Someone need to get that Breach closed. And we heard you aim to try. " He eyed Ithilwen with great interessest, who only scoffed back.

" You could still have hidden who you were. "

" From a well organized group like the Inquisition? " He chuckled and shook his head. " Someone would have noticed sooner or later. I'd rather you hear it from me. "

He placed himself against the war tables edge. His weight made the wood scream in protest, but it did not flip. " I've been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports on what's happening. "

" Not sure I'm too keen on letting a spy join in our midst. " Ithilwen joked surly.

The one eyed giant smiled. " I also get reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais. " He tilted his chin upwards. " You sign me on, I'll share them with your people. "

The room fell silent for a short moment. " What would you send home in those reports? " Ithilwen finally asked.

" Enough to keep my superiors happy. " Bull answered dryly. " Nothing that will compromise your operations. The Qunari wants to know if they need to launch an invasion to stop the whole damn world from falling apart. " He tilted his head a little to his side. " You let me send word of what you're doing, it'll put some minds at ease. That's good for everyone. "

" And what are you ready to share? "

" Enemy movements, suspicious activity, " Bull gave away a smug smirk. ", intriguing gossip. It's a bit of everything. Alone, they're not much. But if your radiant spymaster is worth a damn, I'm sure she'll put 'em to good use. " He tilted his head to Leliana and gave her a suggestive wink.

Ithilwen let her chin rest in her hand. She hardly knew anything about the qunari. It could be that this Iron Bull could be genuine, but wouldn't it be risky letting him join their ranks? The exchange of information did feel intriguing though. She took a quick breath and turned to the others.

" Thoughts? "

" Having the Qunari on our side could prove beneficial. I have a friend amongst them, and he has proven most loyal. " Leliana said with a rather blank expression.

" Or they might get the jump on us.. " Cullen almost whispered at her side.

" This deal could improve the relationship with the Qunari for the long run, for all of Thedas. I suggest that you don't pass this opportunity up. " The Ambassador stated and scribbled on a document she held.

Ithilwen turned back to the one eyed giant once more. " Very well. The Inquisition accept your offer. "

" Good on you, boss! " The giant jumped up from the table with such force that it almost flew backwards. Several of the small pieces placed on the map rolled down. He shook Ithilwen on her right shoulder roughly, but friendly. She almost fell, but he caught her up with his enormous hand, laughed and placed her on the floor like she had been a small porcelain doll. He cleared his throat and looked proudly down at the little elf in front of him.

" Be sure when I say that you won't regret your choice. The Iron Bull is ready to serve. "

" What? "

" You're not only getting the Chargers, you're getting me. " Bull pointed at himself with his thumb. " You need a frontline bodyguard, I'm your man. Whatever it is—Demons, dragons? " He smiled widely. " The bigger the better. "

" I see why not. " Ithilwen laughed and shrugged.

" But there's one thing I don't understand. How did they even acquire intel on when and where you would arrive? "

" Your trip wasn't exactly a secret. " The Iron Bull clicked his tongue. " If I were to guess it's the same group that has attacked you before. " Everyone stared at him. " Ehh, ahh.. You really need to work on your covering stories. " Bull smiled. After a moment of awkward silence Bull cleared his throat.

" Besides, the leader had this one him. "

Bull pulled up a letter from behind his shoulder patch and handed it to Ithilwen. The note carried a well known symbol, together with a familiar handwriting.

 

_" The Herald will be at West Hill in ten days. Be there, and finish the job this time._

 

_\- A. "_

 

" Mother Anastasia. " She scoffed.

Cullen looked over her shoulder. " Together with the Venatori. " 

Josephine turned to Leliana. " Have we gotten any knowledge about her yet? "

" I have. " The Spymaster held a small satchel. She emptied it over the great war table and picked out a few letters worth of note. " The Mother seems to have been part of Mother Petrice's little revolt five years ago in Kirkwall. "

Cullen groaned and rubbed his neck. " Then we never managed to root them out completely. "

“ What are you talking about? “ Ithilwen looked over them in confusion.

Cullen cleared his throat and his eyes became slightly darker as he began to revisit his memory. “ Around eight years ago, there was a group with Qunari who got stranded in Kirkwall. They stayed quiet for the most part, but during their stay people started to get nervous. Five years later Mother Petrice and a rouge Templar named Ser Varnell led a cult that eventually irritated them enough to result them to revolt, which led to Viscount Dumat's death, as well as his son's. Hawke killed the Arishok in single combat and was named Champion. "

Ithilwen looked at him in shock, then at the letter in her hand.

How could she have been so oblivious all these years? Kirkwall was so close to her home. She took stand against the table.

" I met a mother named Anastasia in Val Royeaux. She was from Kirkwall. "

Cullen blinked. " When? "

" At Madame Vivienne's soare. She was the guest of someone called Sean-Pierre Julien. "

" He's the grandchild to one of the members in the council of Heralds, is he not? " Jospehine asked Leliana. " What kind of involvement would he have with this particular mother? "

" He is well respected with the lower masses, but not so much with the nobility nor the Chantry. " Leliana looked over a small list she carried. " He have at several occasions spoken about opening up more for the common folk. He even have some assassination contracts on him. " Josephine scratched her chin.

" Then what can we do about it? Removing him woul-- "

" There's no need for that. " Leliana stated. The whole room looked at her. " He's the one that sent information on Anastasia. "

Ithilwen blinked once, twice. " Why would he..? "

" Never be fooled by one's appearance, Lady Lavellan. I have known him for years. " Leliana responded with a dry voice. " He can be trusted. "

 

Ithilwen let out a long breath and fell down on her lower arms against the surface of the large table. " Well, at least we got eyes on her, then. "

 

 

 

" Lady Lavellan? "

 

Ithilwen was sitting in Cassandra's room. She had been forced back in order to rest. Unable to sleep she was standing in front of the large window gazing out to the Village. Cullen stood in the door opening, together with Leliana.

" Commander. " She still stood quiet at the window.

" The Inquisition has received a letter. " He walked forward and stood just a couple of feet away.

" From whom? "

" Your cla-- "

" Give it here! "

Ithilwen quickly sntached the letter from his hand and began to read it. Cullen stood at her side, feeling strangly nervous.

 

 _" Clan Lavellan offers greetings to the Inquisition and wishes it well in sealing the Breach that has opened in the sky. While some Dalish clans hate humans and wish nothing to do with them, Clan Lavellan has always dealt fairly with all and wished only for peace. That said, we have on occasion been forced to defend ourselves from those who saw us only as potential victims._  
  
_It has come to our attention that a member of our clan is being held captive by your Inquisition. She went to the Conclave only to observe the peace talks between your mages and templars, and we find it highly unlikely that she intentionally violated your customs. If she has been charged with a crime, we would appreciate hearing of it. If not, it would ease our concerns to hear from her to know that she remains with the Inquisition of her own will._

  
_We await your reply,_  
  
_Keeper Istimaethorial Lavellan. "_

She snorted and let the letter fall to her lap. 

 

" How do you wish to proceed? " Ithilwen finally asked, while keeping her eyes away. 

Cullen stood silent for a moment. He then gave a small sigh. " It's your clan. You know them best. "

" True. " She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose. It had become a habit of hers these last couple of months. " What are our options?" 

" My troops can deliver news of your safety and make it clear that the Inquisition should be taken seriously. " Cullen suggested. 

She let go of her nose and looked up at Cullen. " That.. Would only anger them, I fear. My clan can be rather.. "

" The Dalish respectable deeds, not words. " The Spymaster had put her hand on Cullen's shoulder and moved herself further to Ithilwen. " Let my elven agents deliver something the clan needs as a show of good faith. "

Ithilwen wandered around the room, concindering. After a while she turned her front back to the two advisors. " Leliana, I trust you to make the arrangements necessary. "

" As you will, Herald. " Leliana bowed, turned and exited the room, leaving Ithilwen and Cullen to themselves.

 

 

The Commander of the Inquisition stood still in the room, frozen to the ground and unable to speak. The lump in his throat from earlier had only become thicker and it took him a great deal of effort to find the courage and speak.

" How are you feeling? " He finally asked.

Ithilwen had kept her eyes on the wall the entire time, but slowly turned around and gave him a heartfelt smile back. " I'm getting better. "

" Good. " The words seemed to echo in the rather empty room.

" So, uh.. " Cullen began to blush and his hand instantly fell upwards in order rub the crook of his neck. Ithilwen looked over him, not getting why he looked so red.

" Is something the matter? " Her voice snapped him back, but only made it harder to think. He stood quiet. He tried to focus his eyes on her, but found it rather uncomfterble and unnerving. Why was he here again?

" You can tell me anything. " She had gotten closer. He down at her small frame, and even with her green eye he found her exotic and--

Cullen stood dumbfounded before the young girl. He had no ideá to confront her. And the worst part seemed that she didn't remember what had happend when she had told him. He cleared his throat, took a deep breath and focused his eyes on hers.

 

" I-- "

 

He didn't get so much further. The door was thrown open and the guard that had been stationed outside Cassandra's room walked over in order to address Ithilwen. Cullen squeesed together his eyes and turned turned around while curing silently for himself.

" Lady Herald. You have a visitor. "

Before anyone had the chance to stop him the guard had already walked out and let in the new guest.

 

" Commander. " The elder elf with bare feet and a white old tunic looked quite out of his ways. He had large bags under his eyes, and he seemed to be sweating, a whole flood by the looks of it.

" Solas. " Cullen nodded back. He then laughed, nervously, as he let his attention fall back to Ithilwen.

" A—Another time, then. " He quickly turned on his heel and prepared to open the door, but not before tilting his head back one last time. Solas had placed his hand on her forehead, and she looked a bit annoyed. They argued quite lively. Cullen smiled when he caught her gaze only for a moment and then left.

 

He returned the next morning, only to find Cassandra's quarters as well as the Heralds cottage empty.

 

 

" Are you sure you'll be able to go on without Chuckles? "

" We got the Iron Lady, don't we? "

 

The dwarf only grunted for answer. Ithilwen laughed, tried to fake away her pain. They didn't have the time to sit idle while the Breach grew bigger. And so Ithilwen had taken Vivienne, Varric and Iron Bull with her to Redcliffe in order to meet up with Fiona. Solas had been drained from his efforts keeping her alive, and needed his rest. Cassandra as well. The ride to Redcliffe went smooth without any sort of hindrances. They had almost gotten rid of all of the Fade rifts during their last trip and the Bandits had stood for most of the attacks around the Hinterlands.

And soon the familiar tug in her left hand would appear, sting, if you will. Right outside the great Gate of Redcliffe Village. Varric noticed as her marked hand began to twitch.

" Rift? "

" Yes. Real close. "

" You heard the boss. It's demon killing time! " Bull unsheated his sword and almost drooled in his exitement.

 

They had not gotten far before they heard a panicked rant from what seemed to be an officer. She wore a red uniform with the emblem of a white tower with a red center as well as a worn out commander officer's helmet.

" I want a constant watch on that damned thing! Sound the alarm at the first sign of demons! "

 

Bull didn't hesitate for one bit, did not even await for her signal. He immediately charged against the huge rift hovering right above the gate. Ithilwen stared at is, for it was even higher up then the others had been in her past. She quickly looked around for something to climb on, but found nothing.

She did not get much time to stand looking though. A rage demon had already gotten through the portal. Vivienne freezed it as soon as it had taken shape, and Bull crushed it with one mighty swing. Small pieces flew all over the place and glittered red in the sunlight. Varric stood besides Ithilwen who desperately looked around for something to hold on to close to the rift. She saw a hole in the wall, just above the gate. It would be close to the, but far enough to keep them at bay. She dashed down the hill, but suddenly found herself running slower. She tilted her head around, but did not move with the desired speed. Varric yelled with a worried, yet amused tone.

" What are you doing? Why are you moving so slow? "

Finally her head had turned around. She quickly caught the distressed expression on Varric's face. Determined she called for her mana. She would need to jump from here, if she wanted to survive. It would be dangerous, but staying almost frozen would be even more so. After what seemed like an eternity, and had it not been for her companions aid she would probably have died, she finally leaped up. The first few seconds went slow, but the magic that had held her back earlier began to wash off her. Like a whip she flew up at the wall, grabbing on to the small hole she had seen earlier with her right hand.

 

" What did you do? " Bull asked as she let go from the wall. She landed softly on the ground, if there was anything she could use magic for this was certainly it. She could jump great distances thanks to small gushes of wind, as well landing from higher levels without hurting her legs.

" I don't know what caused it, but time itself seemed to move slower around me. "

" I think we could have skipped these things getting weirder, don't you? " Varric trotted to their sides.

The three of them all looked to Vivienne, who only shrugged. " The Veil around here feels different, but otherwise I have no explenation for you. "

" Maybe one of the mages in Redcliffe knows? " Ithilwen sighed.

 

The commanding officer from earlier walked over to them and gave her deepest grattitudes. An agent of the Inquisition stood besides her.

" We've spread word that the Inquisition was coming, but you should know that no one here was expecting us. "

Vivienne took on a serious expression. " No one? Not even the Grand Enchanter? " 

The young agent shuddered. " If she was, she hasn't told anyone.. " He swallowed a hard lump in his throat as Ithilwen sighed. Shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose.

" We've arranged use of the tavern for the negotiations-- "

 

" Agents of the Inquisitions, my apologies! "

 

An elf mage, male, maybe in his thirties hurried forward. He quickly gasped for air. " Magister Alexius is in charge now. But hasn't yet arrived. He's expected shortly. " Vivienne and Ithilwen exchanged looks from their sides. " You can speak with the former Grand Enchanter in the meantime. " He nodded and went his way. Ithilwen tilted her head a bit to the side.

" Isn't _Magister_ a tevinter title? "

" Then he wont be missed. " Bull grinned.

Ithilwen couldn't help letting out a small chuckle. " Let's go. "

 

They walked through the gate and got a nice view of the Village. Most of the houses was new, and made out of wood. Varric explained as they made their way down the narrow path that the Darkspawn has burned most of it down during the end of the Blight, and that their new Arl had rebuilded most of it these last ten years.

 

" Whatever happend with the old one? "

" Arl Eamon's only heir turned out to be a mage, and he gave up his seat to his younger brother and now serve the king in Denerim. " Vivienne filled him in.

For the first time in what had felt forever Ithilwen felt free. No one seemed to know who she was, some still looked at her in curiosity, she was dalish after all, but not in fear. They stood at the waystone in the center of the village, trying to figure out where the Tavern was located.

" Master? " She tilted her head to the side. A young man the same age as Ithilwen started shocked at her. He wore blue robes and had brown, almost red hair trailing down to his shoulders. She gave him a funny look and as their eyes met he turned instantly red.

" Ah, forgive me milady. " He gasped and averted his eyes. " I mistook you for someone else. "

 

" Connor! "

 

An elder man in his early thirties, rather handsome with golden eyes as well as tanned skin walked to his side. He wore circle robes as well as a scarf around his dark shoulder long hair, covering most of his forehead. " I told you to stay close to me. You know how people--"

He lost his chain of speech when he saw Ithilwen. His jaw looked like it was about to fall off.

" .. Lumen? "

Ithilwen's brows furrowed even deeper. " No, afraid not. I assume you refer to Warden Surana? "

" How.. " His eyes only widend further.

" We met Isabela. " Varric cut him off.

" Ah. Zevrans old flame. " The man scratched his chin as sly smile grew on his lips.

" My dear, it has been such a long time. I trust you are well? "

He instatnly reconginzed Vivienne at Ithilwen's side. 

" I am, Lady Vivienne. " He bowed slightly and nodded in the Enchantress direction. " How fares Duke Bastien? "

" He is well, although the years have caught up with him lately.

" Ah, that is a shame. " He gave her a sympathetic look. " Be sure to tell him my best wishes. "

Tired from feeling left out of the conversation Ithilwen decided to speed things up. " You two know each other? "

" He is one of the higher voices for the Libertarians. "

" The what? " The Herald eyed Vivienne with curiosity.

" It is circle politics. " Vivienne waved in front of her. " Simply put, the Libertarians wishes to be free from chantry and templar control. "

" Not like this, that's for damn sure. " The man sighed and rested his head in his hand.

" Many wants to be free from Chantry control, yes, but that does not make us all resolutionists. Many Libertarians wish to have connections with the Chantry still, but not through supervisition, but partnership. " The man had taken on an angry tone, but quickly regained his courteous posture. " But forgive my melancholy, milady. " He addressed Ithilwen. " This is not the time nor place to discuss such things. " He put his right hand to his chest and bowed slightly once more.

" Allow me to introduce myself. I am Aaron Amell, former Enchanter of Ferelden's Circle of Magi. " Varric furrowed his brows and smiled, while Aaron gestured to the younger boy besides him. " And this is Connor Guerrin, nephew to the arl of Redcliffe. "

Ithilwen looked over the boy. Just before this conversation Vivienne had told her about the former arls son getting possessed by a demon during the blight. He seemed to be the right age, but surely he could not be..

She never managed to ask before Varric decided to continue the conversation.

" Amell.. You're Hawke's cousin? "

" The Champion? Yes. On her mothers side of I remember correctly. " Aaron shrugged his shoulders. " I left Kirkwall when I was very young so I don't know her very well I am afraid. " He tilted his head a bit to the side, raising his eyebrow.

" Not like you, Ser Thetras. "

" You are well informed. " Varric laughed in his surprise.

" Had I not been I would not be alive. " The man chuckled back, but then took on a serious face. He turned his gaze to the dwarf once more. " Tell me, do you still have contact with Anders? "

Varric's eyes became dark. " Ah, of course. You're his old buddy.. "

" I am. " Aaron took on a sad smile. " We were apprentices under the same mage. My, those years seems so long ago. "

" I don't know where Blondie is. Sorry. "

" Don't, Ser Thetras. " Aaron quickly put his hand on the dwarf's shoulder, squeezing it gently.

" You have nothing to apologize for. " Varric suddenly frowned his brows deep, and his mouth became a thin line. He had lowered his head, avoiding the mage's gaze.

" Thank you, Aaron. And please, call me Varric. "

" Alright, Varric. " The mage gave the dwarf a warm smile in response. Then he turned his attention Ithilwen once more.

" But as I said before, we have little time. Have you met the leader of these mages yet? "

" No, we are on our way to meet Fiona. "

" Allow me to take you to her. "

  

Aaron led them through the village. Many of the residents seemed to know Aaron and first greeted him with laughter and happy smiles, but as soon as they saw the boy behind him the covered and went their way. Varric nudged Ithilwen a bit in the ribs. She nudged back on his shoulder, acknowledging the tension that was polluting the air. Aaron led them up on a large hill, close to a ship construction site. Ithilwen couldn't help herself from staring at the massive work. It certainly was grand. She wanted to have a look at it, but knew time for sightseeing was for later, and kept her eyes forward. Once at the top they had a clear view of the Village, as well of the large lake of Calenhad. Aaron took a short breath and pointed out in the water.

" If you look closely to the northeast, you can see the shadow of the old Circle tower. "

" Old tower? " Ithilwen inquired curiously.

" During the Blight there was a mage uprising, and abominations breaked free. The Veil is to thin there now, so they builded a new tower. "

" I can't see it, that's for damn sure. " Varric grunted.

" Look a bit to the left, Varric. It looks like a giant pair of male genitals. " Iron bull joked. Ithilwen felt herself turn red and almost fell over the cliff. Aaron quickly took hold of her arm and laughed.

" Oh ho ho. " Aaron chuckled. " I really wish Anders, Lumen and Jowan had been here to hear that. "

 

He laughed heartly as he opend the door to the Tavern.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So as you may have noticed by now several of the heroes from Dragon Age Origins intervened in this story. But why? How? For what reason?
> 
> And the part where the Inquisitor doesn't want Solas crying at her tree : The dalish bury their dead and plant a tree on top of it.


	12. Negotiations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen and co goes to Redcliffe in order to meet up with Fiona. But as usual not all goes according to plan.

 

 

The large room was dark, even though the sun stood high, because the windows had boarded with planks.

 

The whole affair smelled like a set up. But she had taken a liking to Aaron, even though he was placed on high horses. Most people, like common people did not look her in the eyes. He did, and without any agendas. She trusted him.

Suddenly the smell hit her. Vomit, ale and sweat reeked in waves. She took several deep breaths before going forward, which drew a few amused expressions from her companions. Varric looked at her with an smug smile as she held her mouth a little bit open, so she could breath enough.

 

" Are you feeling sick? " Bull asked her. Of course he would know something to be amiss. He had been trained to look for unusual activity. Her act had been foiled.

She slowly tilted her head to the side, eying the giant at her right. "..It _smells_. "

" So breath through your mouth. “ He casually shrugged. “ It's not unusual for people to do so in places like this. "

He gave her a small pat on her head. His hand was so big that even her ears bowed down from the weight. She turned her head around in order to look at him. She had intended to stare angry at him, but with the skin on her forehead forced down she looked like a wrinkled old man. Bull began to laugh, loudly. She instantly became red and threw off his hand, but the damage was already done. People had noticed them.

She quickly took another breath, through her mouth this time and began to walk along the room. They passed table after table, all filled with robed elves and humans, woman and men, children and elders, until they saw the familiar shape of one particular elf with green eyes and black hair.

" Welcome, agents of the Inquisition. "

Ithilwen slightly squinted her eyes. She looked like her, but certainly did not _smell_ like she had when they met her back in Val Royeaux. After observing her for a while, she finally nodded in response to the elder elf. Fiona looked over Ithilwen shoulder and nodded.

" First Enchanter Vivienne. "

" My dear Fiona. It's been so long since we last spoke. You look dreadful! ” Vivienne walked forward and planted a kiss, one on each cheek and took hold of her shoulders. ” Are you sleeping well? "

Ithilwen eyed her once more. _Dreadful?_ Not likely. The ominous feeling she had gotten out from Fiona in the Orlaisian Capital was long gone. The only fishy part about her was the part of her _not_ being fishy. She felt confused, and irritated. ( Ithilwen clearly didn't get the obvious insult that Vivienne had given the Grand Enchanter. )

 

Fiona only responded Vivienne's question with another. " What has brought you to Redcliffe. "

Everyone, with the exception for Bull and Ithilwen tensed up and looked at her in shock. Bull, because he had not seen her in Val Royeaux, and Ithilwen, because she already knew something to be wrong.

" Don't be silly, dear. We are here because of your invitation back in Val Royeaux. " The Enchantress responded.

Fiona squinted her eyes and looked at her in disbelief while slowly shaking her head. " You must be mistaken. I haven't been to Val Royeaux since before the Conclave. "

Ithilwen felt herself losing it. This was a trap after all, but when she looked over to the side she saw two guards in a very familiar set of armors standing before the door.

 

Venatori.

 

She looked back at the situation at hand. She would need to keep her cool. It might be that the Enchanter herself had been used and needed their help, but could not come out with it, because they were being watched. She decided to play along, for now.

" Well that certainly is strange. Because I'm pretty sure that I met someone that looked exactly like you in Val Royeaux. ” She faked her surprised tone and let her mouth fall open. ” Nevermind, my mistake. " She was about to move when there was a sudden change in the air. Another mage mage was close, but she didn't know if he was in the room or outside the Tavern. What worried her was his, or maybe her strange vibe.

Fiona stared at Ithilwen. " Exactly like me? " her eyes fell down, then back up at Ithilwen, who gave her a knowing nod. Good. They had both been tricked, and she knew it. But her eyes fell down once more.

" Who.. Or whatever send you are too late. The situation has changed. " Fiona whispered harshly. Than she straightened her back, took a deep breath, pierced her eyes in Ithilwen and spoke.

" The free mages have already pledged themselves to the service of the Tevinter Imperium. "

The whole room stopped moving, people stopped eating, drinking, _breathing_. Everyone's eyes were fixed on the Inquisition and the Rebellion leader now.

" Do you realize the extend of this deal? " Amell growled.

Unaffected Fiona continued on her verse. " As indentured to a mageister, I no longer have the authority to negotiate with you. "

 

" An allience with Tevinter is a terrible mistake. " Aaron continued. " Who knows wha-- "

" All hope of peace died with Justinia! " Fiona dashed out with her hands. Her eyes looked truly desperate. Ithilwen looked over her, and felt pity. She had been on the road for three years with these mages, alone carrying the burden of leadership. " This.. Bargain with Tevinter is would not have been my first choice, but we had no other way. "

" You always have a choice! " Aaron almost leaped at her. He stood before her small figure with a raised fist.

" Unlike you and your son, we do not have the kings favour! " Aaron growled and backed away, placing himself behind Ithilwen and besides the Iron Bull.

" We are losing this war. I needed to save as many of my people as I could. "

 

Ithilwen felt the magic from the other mage draw closer. He was outside, she was certain of it, but on his way in. She turned around to await his arrival. Aaron, as well as the other mages did the same. Varric and Iron Bull followed suit, but didn't know the reason for it.

The door opend, and a man maybe in his mid fifties stepped inside. He wore the same kind of outfit as th Venatori, but with some minor changes. Unlike the guards he wore no mask. Instead he had a rather light hood that was red, and a simple chainmail and carried a short dagger at the side of his hip. He carried only one glow, and and had simple straps on his left ungloved hand.

 _"_ Bloodmage _._ " Aaron whispered next to her.

She noted his comment in the back of her head. She had never met a bloodmage before, and would therefore not know the difference. The air around him did feel different. Was his use of blood magic the source behind it? A certain line came to mind as she thought more about it.

_"Blood magic makes it harder to enter the fade, maybe because it draws it's power from blood, and not the fade. "_

Was this what Solas had ment? Mages pierced the veil around them in order to draw magic, and some of it from the elements. A bloodmage only drew power from blood. She calmed down and observed him as he took more steps into the room. She would need to focus on the situation at hand. Theories was for later.

" Welcome, my friends. I apologize for not greeting you earlier. "

She felt the mana around Aaron flutter, just for a bit. He seemed to hold a special relation to the arl, since he was the teacher of his nephew. No wonder he would grow angry, the mage before them had no right to welcome them to lands that was not his to begin with.

He stood in front of Ithilwen now, and first now she twitched her nose. The young man that had accompanied him smelled wrong. Oddly sweet, like a rotting corpse.

 

Fionas eyes went lower, and dark. " Agents of the Inquisition. Allow me to introduce Magister Gereon Alexius. " She gestured slightly at the older man.

 

The Magister Alexius took another step forward. " The southern mages are under my command. " He looked down on Ithilwen. " And you are the survivor, yes? " He eyed her hungrily with his eyes. " The one from the fade? Interesting.. "

" And I'm Ithilwen Lavellan. " She bowed in a simple fashion, but not without letting her eyes leave the older mage. " But let us skip the pleasantries. I would like to know more about this alliance between the rebel mages and the Imperium. "

Alexius didn't flicker. " Certainly, what specifically do you wish to know? "

" The grand Enchanter told me she was _indentured_ to a Magister. I assume that is you? "

" Ah, well our southern brethren have no legal status in the Imperium. As they were not born citizens of Tevinter, they must work for a period of ten years before gaining full rights. " Ithilwen didn't think this very strange. It would only be natural to supervise newcomers in a country, in order to keep criminals out. Alexius continued.

" As their protector, I shall oversee their work for the Imperium. "

And that was the part she did not like. Even back in her clan all she had heard was how bad Tevinter was. The Chantry had continued this and Even as she had been pinched down by Josephine to study human history all she ever had heard was bad mouthing about the country and it's traditions.There had to be a reason for the rumors, even if she didn't like to trust such resources.

" I find it strange to be welcomed by a Tevinter Magister, and not the nobles of this Village. " She turned her head a bit to the side, eying him from the right. " Where is the Arl and his men? "

Alexius smiled, oddly. " The Arl of Redcliffe left the Village. "

 

" Arl Teagan stayed and fought with his people during the Blight. Even when they were under siege. He would not simply leave!"

 

Connor had yelled out in his anger, but before the magister saw him Aaron had quickly dragged him back, and hid him behind him. Alexius grew another of those uncomfterble smiles as he looked at the former enchanter behind Ithilwen.

" Ahh, well if it isn't Enchanter Amell. How long has it been? I did not recognize you with that wrapping around your head. ” He pointed at the blue scarf covering most of Aaron's forehead. ” How come you are here? Are you part with the Rebellion mages? "

" No. I, as well as all the other mages part of the Circle of Ferelden have sworn loyalty to the crown, and is under it's protection. We do not support the mage uprising. "

Ithilwen looked at the man that stood behind her. So _this_ is why he felt so eager to join in on this meeting. She had foolishly enough thought him part of the Rebellion and thought it only naturally for him to be there.

" What a shame. " Alexius smile had vanished. " You would have made a good asset to the Imperium. "

” Speaking of which.. " Alexius turned his gaze back to Ithilwen.

" I'm not clear on when, exactly, you negotiated this arrangement with the Grand Enchanter. "

Alexius took on a sumpathetic look. Fake, of course. " When the Conclave was destroyed, these poor souls faced the brutallity of the templars, who rushed to attack them. " He turned around to look at Fiona. The tone of his voice took an odd turn. " It could only be Decine providence that I arrived when I did. "

Fiona looked away from him, and back at Ithilwen. " It was certainly.. Very Timely. "

Ithilwen stood quiet for a moment. " What does the Imperium even gain from taking rebel mages under it's wing? "

Alexius smiled. " For the moment, nothing. " _Bullshit_. " But they will be a condindereble expense. After proper training, they will join our legion. "

 

Fiona flew around his arm. " You said that not all my people would be military! There are children! Those not suited-- "

Alexius quickly and without any effort pushed her back, giving her a hard glare back. " And one day, I'm sure they will all be productive citizens of the Imperium. " His eyes went darker. " Once their debts are payed. "

" If you are leading the mages now, then let's talk. I'm sure we can come to an arrangement. "

Ithilwen did not dare to test his mood any further, and felt it best to play along with his game for now. Fiona might have disagreed, but Tevinter was known for being a country ruled by mages. The other's might not see their current deal as unfortunate as their leader.

The older man smiled. " It is always a pleasure to meet a reasonable woman. "

 

Alexius gesture for a table at the side, and placed himself with the wall at his back and gestures for her to sit on his opposite side. Clever. He would be able to observe everyone, while having his back safe. She however would not be able to cover if someone threw a knife in her back.

" Felix, would you send for a scribe, please? "

The young man that had stood behind Alexius now came forwards, placing himself at the edge of the table in order to take Alexius instructions. Despite her earlier notion about his smell Ithilwen couldn't help noticing his deep and almost black eyes. He was young, maybe six or seven years older then her, and rather handsome. He wore a yellow garb, very much like his fathers, but with two gloves instead of one. His hair was dark brown and cut close to the head, and despite being newly shaved the skin on his jaw was a shade darker. He looked pale, however and breathed differently than the others in the room. His father noticed her interests and grew a rather smug smile on his lips.

" Pardon my manners. My son, Felix. " The Magisters son bowed courteously to Ithilwen and went his way. Ithilwen had been keeping her eyes on him the whole time, but was woken up from her thoughts when Alexius spoke again.

" I am not surprised you'd be here. Containing the Breach is not a feat that many could even attempt. There is no telling how many pages would be needed for such an endeavor. " He smiled and nodded in Ithilwen's direction. "  Ambitious, indeed. "

" I think staying positive is the greater challenge. " Ithilwen let out in a breath. It had not really been ment as a joke, but Alexius smiledwidely. Genuinely it seemed, for even the wrinkles at the edge of his eyes were showing.

" There would have to be-- " His smile had vanished and been replaced by fear. Ithilwen took in the sight and turned her head to the side in order to see the reason. Even she had a hard time to stay cool.

 

Felix was stumbling back to the table, but was about to fall. In one swift motion Ithilwen was on her legs, catching him. She stared deep into his eyes and suddenly she felt something slip into her left hand, and his right eye winked at her. She kept her surprised face on, knowing that it had been a trick.

" Felix! " Alexius gasped in horror.

" Milady, I'm so sorry. Please forgive me. " Even the voice of his was weak.

Ithilwen let her hand fall over his cheek and softly whispered. " There is nothing to forgive. "

Alexius was still sitting at the table, probably unable to move from the shock. " Are you alright? "

" I'm fine, father. "

" Come, I'll get your powders. "

 

In a short moment Alexius was at his sons side, as Ithilwen let him rest against her arm. Ithilwen quickly reached out for Alexius, who responded and quickly took hold of his son. He looked over her, first in suprise, then apologizing.

 

" Please excuse me, friends. “ He reached out his hand to Ithilwen, who took it and have him a firm shake. “ We have to continue this another time. " He turned to the side. " Fiona, I require your assistance back at the castle. "

Felix stumbled on, resting against his father's shoulder. " I don't mean to trouble everyone. "

" I shall send word to the Inquisition. We will conclude this buissness at a later date. "

They were about to exit when Ithilwen called out one last time. " Oh, my lord? "

He looked up, irritated.

" Please, take care. " Her words had been genuine. Even she was surprised for her emotions. But she knew that he probably wouldn't be well ever again.

Alexius stared back at her, suprised, then nodded and exited.

 

Once the guards, Alexius and his son had departed Ithilwen brought up the small note and red it from under the table.

 

_" Come to the Chantry. You are in danger. "_

She quickly handed over the note to Varric who stood behind her. He nodded, read it and passed it on. Once everyone was finished they looked at each other with determination.

Next stop, the Chantry.

 

 Aaron and Connor joined up with them. As Aaron had explained it he did not trust the mages that had accompanied Fiona. Few he recognized, but many knew him, because of his station. And that would not offer gratitude, because of his close relation with the king.

Varric eyed Amell with a curious expression. " How come you are here, then? "

" The king sent me here to observe and send him reports, “ Aaron help up his hand, showing a ring with a special ensignia of an owl. “ So far I had kept most of my business a secret, but I couldn't let Alexius notice Connor. "

" Then why bring him if it would be so dangerous? "

" I happened to find him here, after being gone for months.. " Amell eyed Conor angrily from the side.

Connor looked away, ashamed by the looks of it. " I told you, Aaron. I wanted to help. "

He seemed to snap at this, as he took hold of the boys collar. " And I told you that the battlefield is no place for a child! "

Connor pushed the older man's hands away and almost yelled back. " Lumen became a Grey Warden when she was 18! "

" That's besides the point! "

" How come you know her so well, anyhow? " Ithilwen interrupted. She felt irritated at them both when they acted like children.

Connor began to look down on his hands again. She noticed his nails, they had been chewed off. " During the blight I became possessed by a demon. She sent my old teacher, Jowan into the fade in order to release me. "

Ithilwen stopped in the middle of her walk. The rest of the group followed her example. " Wait, everyone keeps saying that this Warden saved you. How come you claim it to be otherwise? "

Connor kept fiddling with his hands and closed his eyes. " Because many concinder Jowan guilty of me getting possessed from the beginning. "

" This is not the time! We need to get to the Chantry. “ Irritated Amell began to march down the path. “ We can speak more of this once we are somewhere safe. "

Ithilwen took the hint. Normally she would have agreed, but she had been compared to this specific warden she couldn't help herself from wanting to know more, especially from this man who had been in such a familiar situation as she had been thrown in.

 

They walked the path down to the center of the Village, when the particular feeling tugged in her hand. The blood pulsate hard and it started to glow green. She turned to her side in order to notify her companions.

" Rift. "

" Let's go! " Aaron did not hesitate, and quickly unwrapped the staff he had carried on his back. It was golden and shaped like two dragons snorkeling across each other. At the top the dragon's heads met and held a glowing red gem. The path across the wood was covered by strange runes, humming with a different kind of power.

Connor had a custom circle staff, white to the color with no special ornaments. It frankly looked like a long wooden stick, only with leather bands in the middle. The same kind of strange runes that had been on Aaron's staff covered it's base.

They had hardly walked through the door when a shade was about to rip Ithilwen in two, but was thrown back by an invisible wall. Aaron had raised up a barrier. They did not think about it for much longer though, for there was a battle further in.

The rift was glowing high up at the center of the Chantry hall. Some parts of the magic in the room went faster then normal, while others seemed to go slower. Suddenly a flash of fire hit the wall, but slow enough for you to see the fire bounce back against it and then disappear in the middle of the air. Once the fire had vanished a man was visible behind it. He wore a white and green robe as well as a hood. He moved his staff with a different kind of graze Ithilwen hadn't seen from a human mage before.

In a second he had slashed down two shades. He pulled off his hood and smiled widely with glistening white teeth.   
  
His appearence was flawless, there was not a single strand of hair out of place, and he had taken great care not to let his white get stains from the battle.  
  
He had darker skin, grey eyes and a most noticible, a mustache that covered his upper lip.

 

" Now help me close this, will you? "


	13. Decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen and her friends are introduced to the Tevinter, Dorian.

" Fascinating. How does that work, exactly? "

 

The dark skinned man with the mustache eagerly gazed at Ithilwen glowing hand. He then chuckled when she puzzled raised it to have a look at it for herself.

" You don't even know, do you? You just wiggle your fingers, and BOOM! " He lifted his hands so hastily that she had to take a step back. " Rift closed! 

" I don't think we've been introduced. "

" Ah, getting ahead of myself again, I see. " He cleared his throat, bowed and smiled widely to Ithilwen and her company.

" Dorian of house Pavus, most recently of Minrathous. How do you do? "

She wanted to laugh. This human certainly had a good mood, and she couldn't help being dragged along with it. But Vivienne and Iron Bull beat her to it.

“ Watch yourself. The pretty ones are always the worst. “ The Giant grunted close at her side.

" Let one Tevinter in, suddenly they're scurrying out all of the walls like roaches. "

Ithilwen still haven't gotten used to the Enchantress rather poisonous tongue, but Dorian didn't seem to really care. He easily deflected her comment with another joke.

" Now, now. I'm ever so much more handsome than a cockroach. "

Ithilwen couldn't help blushing. He did look dashing. He noticed, and only began to smile wider.

" Magister Alexius was once my mentor, so my assistance should be valuable-- as I'm sure you can imagine. "

" Speaking of which, where's Felix? " Aaron lifted one of his eyebrows.

" I'm sure he's on his way. " The mustache mage answered dryly. " He was to give you the note, and then meet us here after ditching his father. "

" About that.. Alexius really did seem rather worried about Felix when he pretended to be faint. Is there something wrong with him. " Ithilwen inquired.

" He's had some lingering illness for months. Felix is an only child, and Alexius is being a mother Hen, most likely. "

 

" You forgot to tell the part about him having the Blight. " Aaron pointed out.

 

The whole chantry fell painfully silent, and Ithilwen became even quieter. That was what she had felt, then. The smell of death.

" How could you.. " Dorian stared at Aaron with a dropped jaw.

" I fought against the Blight. I know when I see it." He turned to the side, looking at Ithilwen. " Keeping him here in the Village is selfish and puts everyone at risk. We need to get rid off him. "

" Yes, of course, but that is only a small fraction of the problem. " Dorian once again held Ithilwen attention.

" And you're betraying your mentor because..? "

" Alexius _was_ my mentor. Meaning he's not any longer. Not for some time. "

She snorted. " And how exactly does that change anything? "

" Look. " Dorian pierced his eyes in hers. " You must know there's danger. That should be obvious even without the note. Let's start with Alexius claiming the allegiance with the mage rebels out from under you. "

Ithilwen kept her mouth shut and eyed him suspiciously, allowing him to make his point heard.

" As if by magic, yes? “ She sighed.

“ Which is exactly right. “ He looked to the side, inviting the rest of the group to hear. “ To reach Redcliffe before the Inquisition. Alexius distorted time itself. "

Suddenly a piece of the puzzle went back to its place. She stared in front of her, then back up at Dorian. " ..He arranged it so he could arrive here just after the Devine died."

" You catch on quick. " Dorian sighed in relief.

" Manipulating time itself? " Vivienne scoffed in the back. " Many have attempted over the ages, but never once succeeded. "

 

" The rift you closed here? You saw how it twisted time around itself, sped some things up and slowed others down? " Ithilwen noded.

" Yes, there was a rift like this one right outside the Village. "

" Soon there will be more like them. And they'll appear further and further away from Redcliffe. The magic Alexius is using is wildly unstable, and it's unraveling the world. "

Her hand fell on her forehead. " I'll admit, had I not seen it for my own eyes I wouldn't have believed what you just said. "

" I know what I'm talking about. “ He grunted. “ I helped develop this magic. ”

 

Ithilwen stared at him first, then felt herself brew with anger.

 

He did  _what?_ And so _casually?_

He noticed, and raised his hands in defense. ” Whe--When I was still his apprentice, it was pure theory back then! ”

Ithilwen calmed down and let her hands fall. Dorian sighed and continued. ” Alexius could never get it to work. What I don't understand however, is why he's doing it. "

Ithilwen let her back rest against the wall and slowly let the finger on her left hand tap against the chin. " The Rifts are connected to the Beyond, and time flows differently there. Maybe it would be a direct contact with neverending energy, and this may have been one of a kind opportunity to prove his thesis. "

” That seems unlikely. It would be too much at stake yet.. ” He brushed his mustache. ” What would be the other alternative? From what we have seen so far, would he really risk ripping the time to shreds just to gain a few hundred lackeys? "

 

" He did not do it for them. "

 

Everyone turned to the side where Felix walked out from the shadows. Ithilwen walked up from the wall and placed herself besides Bull. Aaron took a step back almost instantly, grabbing hold of Connors arm in order to take the boy with him. Felix had stared at them first, but understood why and didn't dwell on it.

" Took you long enough. " Dorian smiled, then whispered. " Is he getting suspicious? "

" No, but I shouldn't have played the illness card. I thought he'd be fussing over me all day. " He tilted his head to the side, and looked at Ithilwen.

" My father's joined a cult. Tevinter Supremacists. " Bull took hold of Ithilwen shoulder.

" The Venatori, am I right? " Bull asked calmly.

" Yes..? "

 

In but a moment Bull has pushed Ithilwen back and unsheathed his enormous sword. Felix started shocked down at the tip of Bull's blade on his throat.

 

" Give me one good reason not to chop of your head right were you stand. "

" Bull.. " Ithilwen placed her hand on the giants arm and softly looked up at him. " He's alright. "

The one eyed giant looked at her from the side, then back at Felix. After a moment in silence he finally grunted.

" Just making sure he knows what's what. " The Iron Bull let his sword once again rest on his back and placed himself behind Ithilwen, watching Felix's every move.

" Sorry, me and the Venatori haven't seen eye to eye in the past.. So to speak. " Ithilwen sighed.

" Yes, of course. You were attacked by them in West Hill. ” Felix let his hand fall to his throat, checking for blood. ” I'm ashamed to admit my father's involvement in that. "

" But why are you telling me this? Alexius is your father. "

" For the same reason Dorian is working against him. " He took a deep breath and exhausted placed himself on one of the chantry benches that had been dragged to the side. " I love my father, and I love my country. But this? Cults? Time Magic? What he's doing now is madness. " He looked at Ithilwen with pleading eyes. " For his own sake, you have to stop him. "

Dorian hummed at Felix side. " It would also be nice if he didn't rip a hole in time. There's already a hole in the sky. "

" I just can't figure why he would go through all this in order to get to me. " Ithilwen held her chin in her marked hand.

" They're obsessed with you. I don't know why. Perhaps because you survived the Temple of Sacred Ashes? " Felix suggested.

" Ooor maybe because of her lovely cheeks? " Dorian sarcastically let out.

Ithilwen looked up at Dorian who was eyeing Felix, who in turn stared at Dorian, then Ithilwen. His pale cheeks burned hot. He coughed and desperately tried to avoid her gaze. " You _can_ close the rifts. Maybe there's a connection? Or they see you as a threat? " He almost whispered.

Ithilwen looked down on her hand again. " If the Venatori are behind those rifts, or the Breach in the sky, they're even worse then I thought. "

“ Uuuhh. " Bull sighed. " Should have asked for a higher pay grade.. “ The horned giant muttered for himself. Varric gave the Giant a smug smile and patted his thigh.

Ithilwen placed herself at a big boulder that used to be part of the chantry's walls. Unable to come up with a solution on her own she looked around the room.

" Suggestions? "

" You know you're his target. “ Dorian twirled the end of his mustache. “ Expecting the trap was the first step in turning this into your advantage. I can't stay in Redcliffe. Alexius doesn't know I'm here. And I want to keep it that way for now. "

" Want to come with us? "

" Not for the time being. I wish to stay close, in case anything change. "

" Alright, what about you, Amell? " Ithilwen turned to the side.

" I will have to stay. Alexius already know of my involvement. But I ask you to take Connor off my hands. "

Connor who had been rather quiet until now looked as if he could tear out the older mage's throat. " Aaro-- "

" You have already gone against my wishes. Do not cross me again. “ Aaron had been harsh in his tone, but now he spoke softly. “ I promised to keep you safe, and I cannot do it if you stay here. Go with them. "

Ithilwen raised herself from the boulder. “ " Then I suggest that we leave immediately. "

" I agree. “ Dorian began to walk to the other side of the Chantry, but turned around one last time. “ Oh, and Felix! Try not to get yourself killed. "

 

" There are worse things than dying, Dorian. "

 

 

They set out to leave the same day. They did not trust the inn to be safe and had several campements back in the Hinterlands, as well at Master Dennett's old farm if need be. Almost all of them had gone to bed, but Ithilwen did not feel like sleeping just yet. She was standing against a tree, deep in her thoughts.

Had it been wise to leave Aaron there? He let out his cover to protect Connor, but if attacked he would stand no chance on his own. She looked over at Connor who was sitting by the fire. He had made some protests going with them, but finally give up when Bull had offered to knock him out. She hesitated, but then walked over to him.

 

" Connor, I'd like to speak with you for a bit.. "

" I take it you've heard the stories. " He had not even turned when she had approached him. He kept his eyes fixated at the embers in the fire. Ithilwen remained quiet, but he already knew her answer, and continued.

" I'm the boy with Redcliffe's blood on his hands. "

" But weren't you possessed? That means you didn-- "

" You're trying to say I didn't do it? " Connor looked to his side, avoiding Ithilwen gaze. " I let the demon in. " He took several deep breaths. Finally he looked back at Ithilwen, with pain in his eyes.

" Sometimes when I dream, I remember what happend. " She froze. She knew exaktly where he was heading.

" I _remember_ what happend. “ He repeated. “ I see the death and destruction. And it was me. It was all _me_. " He fixed his eyes on her ears. _"_ I.. I cut of one of the kitchen elfs ears and fed them to the dogs while he was watching. " She gasped, shocked. 

He squeezed together his eyes and he bagan to slam his hands against his head. " We are monsters.. Everyone back in redcliffe hates me, and with right. If it hadn't been for me every family wouldn't miss a son, a daughter.. A spouse. "

That poor boy. They looked about the same age, but he had been through so much. She hesitated at first. For days she had avoided touching people, tried to keep them from her, because of her demons. But now she needed to show her support. She swallowed her lump in her throat, took hold of his hands and looked him deep in his eyes.

" Connor. I know it might not be much. But.. “ She hesitated. Would this be wise? Claiming to know someone elses pain? She stared into his eyes.

No.

Had she said A she would need to tell B.

“ I know what you are going through. "

" How could you? " He looked even more pained now. He desperately tried to get out of her grip and managed to get loose from her right hand, but not the left one. He stared back and fourth from her eye that only for a moment blinked green then back to her marked hand, as if it had been a confirmation on what just had been said.

" Connor. Tell me everything. "

 

The next hour by the fire had been a walking nightmare. Connor had described in great detail how his father had become poisend by his teacher on Loghain MacTheirs order, and how he wished to save him. He had red through some of Jowans old tombes, as well as recharges notes, and summoned a demon in his sleep. . Connor slept in his tent, silent and exhausted. Ithilwen had stayed at his side. Somehow she felt a connection with him. Might as well be their pasts. What he had done was so simular on what she was about to become, and she needed every bit of guidence and understanding as she could possible get. Eventually she walked outside the tent and placed herself by the fire, deep in thought. She leaned down in her arms, trying to stable her shuddering breath.

 

 

" We don't have the manpower to take the castle! "

Commander Cullen was indeed right. They lacked the resources, but the templars would probably never listen in the end. The trip to Val Royeaux made that pretty clear.

They hadn't been back in Haven for long. Ithilwen, as well as the rest of the group agreed that they had to move fast if they wanted to make sure Alexius wasn't getting any advantage over them. Plus the knowledge about Amell could take a turn for the worst. If he intended to kill her, who knew what they planned for him? Most of her inner circle had joined in on this meeting, with the exception of Sera and Connor. The Invitation to the castle may have been a trap, but there had to be another way to get in, without using force.

" Either we find another way in, or give up this nonsense and go get the templars! "

" Redcliffe is in the hands of a Magister. This cannot be allowed to stand. "

" The letter from Alexius asked for the little Herald by name. It's an obvious trap. " Iron Bull stated, with is arms crossed over his chest.

" And it says..? " Varric raised a brow.

" He's so complimentary that we are certain he wants to kill you. " Josephine stated, oddly cherry.

Cassandra sighed. " Not this again.. "

“ One does not simply walk into a heavily armed keep. “ Blackwall stated grumpy at the end side of the table.

" Redcliffe castle is one of the most defensible fortresses in Ferelden. It has repelled thousands of assaults. " Cullen turned to Ithilwen. " If you go in there, you'll die. I will not allow it! " The air in the room suddenly felt thicker. He stared intensely at her with pleading eyes. 

Cullen realized how the words may had come out and quickly cleared his throat, adding a new line of words. " W- We would lose the only means we have of closing the Breach! "

Solas had been quiet for the most part, but felt it vital to name one thing of interest. " If we don't even try to meet Alexius, we lose the mages and leave a hostile foreign power on our doorstep. "

Ithilwen looked over him, then back over the table. " According to Amell, many of the mages that used to belong to Ferelden circle have sworn fealty to the king. The mages back in Redcliffe have been on the road for a long time, and become desperate. We cannot ignore them. "

" _Amell_ , huh. " Cullen sighed as he rubbed the crook of his neck. " Well, I guess he if anyone should know better. "

" You know of all people seem to know him better, well. You and our spymaster. " Ithilwen nodded to the advisors.

Both of them looked at her with a surprised expression, then back at each other.

Ithilwen squinted her eyes, just slightly. " So, can we trust him? "

" Well.. Yes. " They both seems to be rather uncomfortable with the subject, but finally agreed.

" Even if we could assault the keep, it would be all for naught. “ Josephine dragged them back to the task at hand. “ An Orlesian Inquisition army marching into Ferelden would provoke a war. Our hands are tied. "

Cassandra sighed once more. " The Magister-- "

" --Has outplayed us. " Cullen finished.

" It would probably not stop there anyhow. The Venatori are obsessed with her, and would have a major advantage close to us, if we let them alone. " Iron Bull clicked his tongue.

" And according to Connor and Amell, the Arl went to Denerim. He would probably not be happy to find his castle surrounded by our forces once he returned. " Vivienne added in.

" Hold a moment. " Ithilwen walked back and fourth in the room, thinking deeply. Everyone stood quiet as she tossed and turned. She stopped, right in the middle of the room.

" If I remember correctly.. " She slowly, almost whispered.

" How did you even enter the castle, during the Blight? "

Everyone turned their gaze at Leliana, who stood quiet in her corner. She eyed the Herald harshly, then sighed. " There is a secret passage.. "

" And only now you let us know? " Varric raised his brows.

" I was sworn to silence to never show anyone it's location. But, since this is a rather.. Peculiar circumstance we need to be swift.." She sighed and focused on the map over Redcliffe that had been brought to the table. She looked around it for a while with her finger and stopped at an old windmill, located a bit outside the Village.

" Here. It is an escape route designed for the family. Back when Arl Eamon was poisend we used it to get to him. "

" This may be our way in. " Blackwall let his fist fall to the table. He seemed rather exited. The Iron Bull followed his example.

Leliana continued. " It's too narrow for our troops, but we could send agents through. "

" It would only be too risky in the end. The agents may be discovered well before they reach the Magister. " Cullen snorted.

" And I will be the distraction. "

Everyone turned to Ithilwen, who still stood further away then the rest. She smiled in her exitement. " Think about it! While Alexius is focused on me-- " She quickly dashed to the table.

" --We break the Magister's defenses! " Cullen slapped his fist in his hand. " It could work, but it would be a huge risk. "

 

" Fortunately, you'll have help! "

 

Dorian happily strutted into the room. Behind him there was a rather young boy trying to stop him by dragging him the arm. Dorian just continued through the room with the boy hanging around his shoulder.

 " I'm sorry, Commander! “ The boy panted. “ This man says he has information about the Magister and his methods. "

" Your spies will never get past Alexius magic without my help. So if you're going after him, I'm coming along. " He put his hand on Ithilwen shoulder. She only smiled. He brought more sunshine then the rest of her companions. Cullen looked over them, a bit suspicious.

" The plan puts you in the most danger. We cannot in good conscience, order you to do this.. “ He looked over the pair over the table, uncomfortable with whatever the mage had brought her. “ We could still go after the templars if you'd rather not play the bait. It's up to you. " He thought he had lost her to this insane idéa already, and was about to leave.

" I know, Commander. And believe me when I say this ; I'd rather toss my luck with the templars. " It seemed like the rest of the advisors was about to choke. Cellen especially, for he stared at her with his jaw dropped.

" But they will not speak with me. And now we have discovered a large group with mages risking becoming slaves and used against us. I cannot, in good conscience, ignore them. "

 

 

Ithilwen stood in the stables, brushing Duke. The poor horse had been running back and fourth so much these last couple of days that he almost had not had any time to rest. Unable to sneak The Iron Bull made his entry loud and clear.

“ Heey. Want a brew? “

She looked to her side and saw the Giant with two cups of ale. She shook her head to the sides. “ No, but thanks for the offer. “

Bull shrugged and quickly finished one of the cups with one gulp, tossed it away and then placed himself at the fence besides her and Duke. Bull looked over to the training grounds, and at Cullen who from time to time looked back.

“ They've got good form. Cullen's putting his templar training to good use. “

“ How did you know the Commander's a templar? He's not having any armor. “

“ He didn't have to. Might not be a templar shield, but it's a templar holding it. “ Bull quickly finished his other cup, placed it on the fence and stepped to the side, mimicking the gestures of holding a shield. “ He angles his shield just a bit down. Helps direct fire or acid away, so it doesn't spray right into your face. “ He let go of his imaginary shield and titled his head to the side.

“ Qunari learn the same thing when we train to fight tevinter mages. Your templar is doing a good work. “

“ He's not my templar. “

“ Are you sure? “ Bull wiggled his brows just a bit, enough to make her blush.

“ You sound like you want to go down there and give some pointers. “ She coughed as the giant qunari again placed himself at his lower arms over the fence.

“ Nah, I'm good at command unless I know who my guys are sleeping with and what they like to drink. Inquisition's already too large for that. The Chargers are big enough for me. “ 

He looked to her side once more. “ Biggest problem for the Inquisition right now isn't on the front line. It's at the top. “

“ What do you mean? "

Bull's mouth became a thin line. “ You've got no leader. No _Inquisitor. “_

“ Then why not Commander Cullen? He got the loyalty from our soldiers. “ Ithilwen shrugged as she continued to brush Duke along his neck.

“ Yeah, he's shaping up to be a good commander. But he's shaping up an army. Not a movement. “ Bull looked over to his mercenaries tents that had been raised just a bit outside the right side of the stables. “ My people don't pick leaders from the strongest or the smartest or even the most talented. We pick the one's willing to make the hard decisions. And live with the consequences. “ He eyed her with a strange sort expression. Almost a hungry expression. She stared at him back, not knowing what he was aiming for. Finally the giant looked away.

“ Ah, maybe you'll seal the Breach. The Chantry gets of it's ass and all those soldiers go home and gets fat. “

“ You think? “ Ithilwen smiled.

“ It could happen. “ He shrugged, then smiled back. “ It wont, but it could. “

 

 

" Dal'en. "

Ithilwen still stood in the stable with Duke. She had just finished brushing his mane when Solas popped up behind the door

" What is it, Hahren?

" I have a request. "

" Speak your mind. "

" While you were gone, I felt the whisper of a strange force in the Fade. I located it back to somewhere in the Hinterlands. I wondered if we could make a stop on the way. "

" What kind of force? "

" I believe it's a relic, meant to help the barriers between our world and the fade remain strong. Many such artifacts were common, back during the age of Arlathan. I have seen plenty of them in my dreams, and think this may be one. "

" And.. You trust this hunch? "

" I would not ask if I did not think it important. "

" No, Of course! " She raised her hand and sighed. " Forgive me. " She patted the horse's neck and went through the door.

" We will go there. If it's on the way I see little reason to deny you your request. "

" Thank you. I appreciate it. "They walked away quietly for a long time, down to the frozen lake while staring into the ice. Ithilwen gaze would sometime wander over to Solas, as he breathed the cold air. The sun stood behind them, and gave shadows that danced over the smooth features on his face. Her eyes lingered on the small scar over his brows, then the long length of his nose and his rather thick lips. Suddenly he had tilted his head and for what seemed like an eternity he caught her gaze with his eyes. Deep, mysterious and so exotic.

" Dal'en? "

" Forgive me. It was rude of me. " Her eyes departed from his, and once again she observed the frozen water before their naked feet. _Would it really be so wrong to know just a little?_

" Well..

He titled his head back so he could watch her.

" What's it like, being able to control your dreams? "

" Ah, an understandable question, concindering recent events. “ Ithilwen eyes become slightly darker. “ Being aware all of the time can be rather challenging. It frets on your mind, but in reward you are granted with a lively imagination. "

" Why did you begin to study the Beyond? "

" As you know I grew up in a small village up to the north. There was little to interest a young man, especially one gifted with Magic. " He smiled. " But as I slept, spirits of the fade showed me glimpses of wonders I had never imagined. I treasured my dreams, being awake, out of the fade became troublesome. "

" Have spirits never made any attempts to tempt you? "

" No more then a brightly colored fruit is deliberately tempting you to eat it. " Ithilwen let out a small laugh. It had not been a joke, but the comparison was rather spot on. Solas smiled, and then continued on his verse.

" I learned how to defend myself from more aggressive spirits, and how to interact safely with the rest. I learned how to control my dreams with full consioness. There was so much I wanted to explore.. " Ithilwen saw his exitement. It felt like a new side of him ans she became even more eager to know more.

" But, you cannot have remained asleep all the time..? "

" No. " He laughed. " Eventually I was unable to find new areas in the Fade. "

" Why? "

" Two reasons. First, the Fade reflects the world around it. Unless I travelled I would not find anything new. Second, the Fade reflects and is limited by our imaginations. To find interesting areas, one must be interesting. "

" Is that why you stayed with the Inquisition? "

There was suddenly a change in the elderly elfs mood. The air seemed thicker, and he rushed his words.

" I joined the Inquisition because we are all in terrible danger. If our enemies destroyed the world, I would have nowhere to lay my head while dreaming of the Fade. "

The answer felt cold, and to her own surprise she felt jealous of the Beyond. What was so great about it anyhow? All it did was showing old memories, and regrets. It had never given anything of joy to her.

".. I wish you luck. " She didn't really mean it. She had taken a dislike to the realm of dreams, especially since she felt so nude in it. Her nightmares had been bad ever since she was a little girl.

" Thank you. In truth, I have enjoyed experiencing more of life to find more of the Fade. "

" How so? " She perked up her ears.

" You know you train your will to control magic and withstand possession. _Your_ indomitable focus is an enjoyable side benefit. "

She felt herself getting hotter, and averted her eyes from his. " I would not call my will indomitable.. "

" You are a rare and strong soul. Do not doubt yourself of that. " His hand had landed on her shoulder. It felt warm and comftering, and she couldn't help herself from letting her hand land on his.

" Have you.. Always travelled and studied alone? "

" Not at all. I have built many lasting friendships. "

" Spirits? " She asksed teasingly.

" You almost know me better than myself. “ He smiled. “ Spirits of wisdom, possessed of ancient knowledge, happy to share what they have seen. " His hand slowly left her shoulder, and it felt remarkably cold now. She made no such indications, of course.

" Spirits of purpose help me search. Even wisps, curious and playful. would point out treasures I might have missed. "

" I have never heard of spirits by those names. "

" They rarely seek this world, when they do, their natures do not often survive exposure to the people they encounter. "

" I see, they are easily turned from their original goal then. Does that mean that demons could reverse and become friendlier? "

" You are indeed wise, even when you claim not to be. " She began to blush, he smiled and began to speak once more. " As I've told you, the Fade reflects the minds of the living and our world. If you expect a spirit of wisdom to be a pride demon, it will, as you just stated, adapt. But if your mind is free of corruption thoughts and influences? If you understand the nature of the spirit? They can be fast friends. "

" What's it like, being a friend with a spirit? "

" My friends have comforted me when in grief and shared my joy countless of times. It's not much difference talking with a spirit as it would be speaking with a person. Anyone's who can dream has the potential to do this, but few ever try. Because they exist without a form we do not understand -- The chantry declares that spirits are not truly people. "

His voice as well as his eyes had become harsh, bitter, and he stared into the sky and the giant Breach. After a while he began.

" Is cassandra defined by her cheekbones and not her faith? Varric by his chest hair and not his wit? "

Ithilwen laughed again. This hadn't been a joke either, but Solas certainly had a way to make her smile. She calmed down, took a deep breath and looked him deeply in the eyes.

 

" You have an interessting way at looking at the world. "

" I try.. " His voice became persistent, as if a bit annoyed. " And that isn't quite an answer. "

" I'm looking forward to help you make new friends. " He remained silent, his brows twitched and his mouth opend like he was about to say something but then closed it. She considered it a victory, for he hardly showed any emotions, but finally he answered.

" That should be.. " He breathed out his last word " Well.. "

" That.. Isn't quite an answer, either. " She teased. She slowly turned herself from him and back to Haven.

 

“ Anath'ara, Solas. “

 

Solas looked after her as she walked back to the Village. His eyes unpurposely followed the length of her back and the curve of her hips, as they swayed when she took her small, yet confident steps. For what seemed like an eternity he watched her go further and further, becoming a small dot amongst the others, yet still remarkable bright and visible. He thought she would return. When she didn't he turned back to the Lake and let out a deep sigh.

He remembered her smile then, and his cheeks turned hot.

 

“ So, this is it, huh? “ Sera was sitting on the roof of the inn, with one of her legs over the edge and the other crossed over as Ithilwen walked by.

“ I mean it's all good, yeah? I just thought it would be bigger. “ Ithilwen laughed. “ Ohoho, it would have been fun if you were a man.. Bigger.. Anyway. “ She let her other leg fall over the edge and quickly jumped down next to Ithilwen.

“ Stopping arks should earn more sovereigns than this. Need things back to normal, for coins to be flowing again. “ Her eyes became dark. “ Another reason for the templars and mages need to be sat down. “

Ithilwen let out a deep sigh of her own. “ Unfortunately, it's not a war just between those two. “

“ Well, sure. The sky has a hole in it. But I can't put an arrow in that. “ She pointed up at the Breach. “ Well, I have. “ She quickly corrected herself. “ Doesn't come down. “ She stared back at Ithilwen. “ That's weird. “

 Ithilwen laughed, Sera smiled. “ And that's the point, right? It's weird and right there. But they still want to punch each other. “ Her glanses went to the side. “ They're to busy to look up where the real questions are. “

Ithilwen looked forward and spoke softly. “ That's why we're here. To help guide everyone back from the brink. “

Sera snorted. “ The religious ones tell you that? That's important, right. But don't make it all about that. “ She took on an angry look. “ Seems like believing too hard is what got everyone here. And here is stupid. “ She sniffed at Ithilwen. “ And smells of horse! “

Ithilwen laughed heartly and opend the door to the Tavern. Sera followed giggling. “ Really, what everyone needs is to get everything back to normal and people and profitable. “ They placed themselves at the corner, next to one of the windows, across each other. “ Sounds good to you, all touched lady Herald? “

Ithilwen smiled softly and looked out through the window glass. “ You know, I think I'll enjoy having you around, Sera. “

 

 

Sera begin to blush, blink then laugh through her nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've repeatedly probably have noticed by now, I don't go strictly cannon with the dialouge. Some is to fit in with the current situation, other's because the game dialouge system sometimes don't work in real life. I have never seen someone constantly wait for someone to finish their monologue, then ask different questions that may have popped up in that person's head afterwards. I would ask the questions right after something, not wait for him/her to finish his lifestory.
> 
> So.. Uhh. Nice seeing you, btw.


	14. Monster

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cullen wishes to speak with the Herald, but the coversation takes a turn for the worse.

The Commander of the Inquisition stood hesitantly before Seeker Cassandra's door. Their Herald had gone earlier to bed, because she and her team would travel early in the morning the next day. Both him and her were free for the evening to do as they pleased, and if he wanted to say anything, now would be the ideal moment.

His hand went up in order to knock on the wood, then fell down. He swallowed the lump in his throat, felt the hand on his neck as he took a turn around the hallway.

What would even be the point?

How would it make any difference?

They had met, once. A long time ago. There was no meaning behind it all. Just a coincidence. She had grown into a young and proud woman, while he had only grown older, colder, and more damaged over time. Wrecked. Spoiled. He began walking back to his room, but stopped in the middle of the Chantry hall.

No.

He turned back to the Seekers quarters with quick steps. His hand ventured over his jaw and dragged the skin downwards. He needed to speak with her, now while there was no--

” A letter for you. ”

He turned to the side and saw a messenger, young with red hair and green eyes. He snorted and took the note she was carrying.

”What is it _this_ time? ”

The girl stuttered on her words, avoided the dark gaze that erupted from his eyes.

” I don't know. A stranger came with it earlier and gave me a hard glare. ” The young girl looked away. ” I did not dare disobey his instructions. ”

She bowed and quickly went her way. He took one long look over the letter. It was sealed with the insignia of a golden owl. He snorted and let the letter fall in his satchel he carried at his side. He would look it over later,once he had finished his other business.

 

He turned back to the heavy oak door, took a deep breath and knocked, much harder then he had intended, for his hand slammed against the wood with clear hard sounds.

He heard something fall down and break inside the room, and a pained hiss. He quickly pressed the door open and in but a moment he stood before her as she was laying on the floor.

” Lady Lavellan! ”

He instantly flew down to her side, found her wrist and pulled her up. She had a red spot on her nose. He quickly put it together that she had fallen from the bed in her sleep, and managed to break a drinking glass on the night table in the process, for there was traces of broken glass over most of the floor around the bed. 

With her eyes closed she rubbed her sore spot of her nose with her left hand, then froze when she felt the heat from his on her wrist. She quickly dragged her arm back and avoid his gaze.

He stared down on her. Her sudden withdrawal made him fall back into reality, and what he had just done.

” I'm sorry. I didn't know you already slept. ”

” No need to apologize, commander.. ” She sighed in what seemed like relief. ” I'm glad that you woke me. ”

His eyes, as well as his brows twitched in his confusion. What did she mean by that?

The elf soon realized her words and the blue eyes became slightly darker. ” I mean.. ” She looked at him, then back at the floor.

" Banal. "

She still kept her eyes at the floor and was about to move away from him. He noticed, and with one swift motion picked her up in his arms.

” Wha—What are you doing? ” She gasped and stared into his eyes.

Cullen smiled with a somewhat smug expression. ” You don't have any shoes. ”

She looked down on the floor, and noticed the broken glass. Cullen began to walk to the other side of the room, but quickly felt the flow of mana.

In but a moment she had left his arms and stood in the spot he had intended to place her. The Commander stood tranzed by the magic she just had displayed.

He now remembered why he felt so fascinated by her from the beginning. Her graceful nature, and need to stay on her own feet.

He began to observe her hair. She usually had a tight knot, but it now hanged loose around her shoulders. She only wore a light tunic, light blue that reached her knees. It was low in the back, and you could trace most of her silver blue Vallaslin as it reached the crook of her neck and down her spine. Like a branch without any leaves. Even her legs carried the marks of her people. He suddenly felt jealous of Solas, for he had been able to study them more when he had healed her in the past. He began to blush at the thought.

That was a perverted thing to think, especially about their icon.

His awe was soon replaced with regret of his previous action, for she glared back at him with piercing cold and unforgiving eyes. After a while she turned and looked through the window instead. The sun had been replaced by the moon, and thousands of glittering stars on the dark blue velvet sky.

He placed himself behind her, just a meter away. She tilted her head a bit to the side, eying him as he stood close, then took another step forward. Dumbstruck Cullen observed her move further and further away from him, and closed in once more.

” What's wrong? ”

She stood silent for a while. ” ..Nothing. ”

” Yes, there is. ” He persisted. Annoyed he took a step forward. ” You've been acting strange ever since you came back from West Hill. ”

” I.. ” Her mouth fell shut and she stared out through the window and into the night. ” I would prefer to be left alone. ”

” Are you in pain? ” It had only been a little, but Cullen noticed her tense up. He felt himself getting more eager. ” Is it the wound in your shoulder? ” She remained quiet, seemed somewhat relieved, because she let out a small breath and her shoulders fell down once more. He began to rub the crook of his neck. ” Should I fetch Vivienne? ”

” Please, commander. ” She took another breath. ” Just.. Leave. ” Her face was still directed to the window. He felt the irritation build up. If she felt ill she should come clean about it. People needed her at her best.

” What are you hiding? ”

” What is it you have a hard time to understand? ” She finally turned, her eyes was almost white with anger. ” I told you I am fine. Leave me alone! ”

” You are not! ” His hands took hold of her wrists, and he felt the magic from her left hand flare up. Her eyes widened, and she desperately began to pull her arm, tried to get away from him. He was stronger and held back without any sort of difficulty. He did not like forcing the issue, but it clearly was needed.

” Let go. ” She looked desperate, pained, as if she had been allergic to his touch. It irritates him. Unintentionally his grip became more firm around her wrist.

” Not until you tell me what is wrong. ”

She slowed down. Began to growl. " Let. Go. "

Cullen took a deep sigh and closed his eyes. ” Lady lavellan. You are our Herald. If you're feeling ill you should-- ”

Suddenly he felt the pressure from the wall behind him, as well as the back of his head pulsate with pain. He stared down at the Herald as her eye blinked between green and blue, between the round and sharp pupil, and between the white and black eye white, as well as her sharp teeth formed an irritated sneer with her otherwise pink lips. It felt hard to breathe. His eyes went a bit lower, and he noticed her marked green hand around his throat. Shocked he stared back at her.

Her eyes widened then, as if she had been woken up from a dream. She instantly let go of his throat, then looked down on her hand, shaking without stop. She was about to look back at him, but as soon as her eyes reached his red throat her gaze instantly went away.

Cullen still rested his back against the stone wall, unable to speak. His eyes left the floor and looked back at Ithilwen as she stood in the dark side of the room. He blinked several times. He had seen this before. A long time ago, when she was first attacked right here, in Haven. At the frozen lake.

She had bitten Solas.

” Please.. Leave. ”

Her words woke him up from his thought. She stood in the other side of the room, right beside the shadow from the window. It didn't help. Her hand still glowed fiercely green.

” Lady Lavellan? ” He quickly ventured back to her and tried to put his hand on her shoulder, but felt the air vibrate with irritation.

” DON'T TOUCH ME! ”

His hand instantly fell back, as if he had been burned by fire. Her voice was thick and dark, so very alien from her otherwise smooth velvet voice filled with reason. He hated to admit it to himself, but a cornered beast would stop at nothing getting free.

And so he fell back, turned his back to her and the window. Opend the door and went through the great chantry hall, all the way down to his room. Once he had reached it he went for his chair and silently placed himself in it.

The visit had not turned out to be what he had imagined it to be.

 

 

_He saw it. He saw it. He saw it. He saw it._

 

No.

 

He had seen _her._

 

Ithilwen paced around in Cassandra's room, unable to get a sound out. She felt the pulse in her hand and eye quicken. Her breaths became even more trying, her heart felt like it was marching inside her chest. The taste of iron on her tongue, the image of his ripped head in her arms as well as the hollow and eyeless expression from his face. She would have killed him, right there.

And she had desired it.

She slowly fell on her knees, feeling the world around her spin and dim out.

He knows.

She felt the force from her tears as they began to erupt from her eyes. She did not wipe them away. Only laid still on the floor. The small drops soon began to find their way down her cheeks, trailing down her neck and down on her shoulders.

Her eyes fell shut, and she began to take several sharp and pained breaths.

Her father really had been right all these years.

 

She was a monster, ment to be locked in a cage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're confused, Cullen already know of her condition, but Ithilwen do not know this. She begged Solas back in chapter 5 not to tell Cullen or Cassandra about her transformations, and no one have really spoken with her about it. So I figured it might turn out like this at some point.
> 
> I know this chapter is rather short in comparison with the previous ones, but I felt it necessary to focus on this right now. Thanks for reading! :)
> 
> Translation.
> 
> Banal - nothing.


	15. Artifact

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang is on their way to Redcliffe, but makes a small stop on the way in order to find an ancient artifact.

“ Andaran atish’an, fellow dalish. What has brought you to this part of the woods? "

 

An elven woman, Dalish, and a mage by the looks of it greeted them as they rode through the Hinterlands. She, like most dalish gifted with magic wore green robes, though it was tattered and repaired with a light brown thread at several places. Her neck wore several talismans, and her finger was covered by a smiple wodden ring, indicating her to be a keeper. The grey and cracked wooden staff she carried on her back had long since seen better days and even her rather slim, tanned face seemed older then it should.

Like most of the elvhen she had big sharp eyes, dark green with a light yellow center and had a slim features. Her short grey hair was messed up because of the battle that just had taken place, and sweat ran down her marked face that held the Vallaslin of June, the god of craft in a red nyance. But it was only focused to her face, not her arms or legs.

" My name is Mihris. “ She bowed deep before Ithilwen who stood a bit closer then the others, recognising the marks of her people. “ I see you're heavily armed, ready for battle? Perhaps we face a common enemy in these demons? “ She did not wait for Ithilwen to respond and pointed upwards a hill behind Ithilwen with the edge of her staff. “ I have heard of an elven artifact that measure the veil. They may tell us where new rifts will appear. "

Ithilwen let her hand fall to her chest and bowed slightly forward with her upper body in greeting. “ Aneth ara, I am Ithilwen of clan Lavellan. “ She then turned a bit to the side and gestured back to her companions who stood behind her.

“ We are agents of the Inquisition, located north. “ Mihris nodded to the others in the group, but then caught the eyes of the bald elf. She quickly snorted with with disapproval. Eventually her eyes went back to Ithilwen" I was not expecting so many demons, however. I believe this particular artifact is nearby. Could you help me reach it? " Ithilwen smiled slightly and let her hand once again fall to her chest.

" I agree. Let us join on this task. "

The green eyed elf smiled brightly." Ma serannas. It shouldn't be much further to the cave where I felt it. "

 

They began the long walk upwards the rocky hill, because the path was so slim they had to leave the horses down the path. Ithilwen walked behind Mhiris, who had taken the leader role for this particular quest. She kept her eyes straight forward, but tilted her head a bit to the side, so her voice could be heard better.

" How come one of our own work for the Inquisition? "

" I was sent to observe the Conclave. " Ithilwen answered dryly and took a jump over a small rock that was in the middle of the path.

" That does not explain _why_ you are aiding the shemlen. " Mihris continued, with an edge to her words.

 

That certain remark put Ithilwen on the spot. She would much rather have fled, but she cold not openly say so in front of Solas or Varric. Especially not with Dorian in her company, now that they needed him to save the mages. Her reason for staying had been selfish, there was no going around that. She purley helped closing the rifts with the Inquisition because she would have been killed otherwise. Playing a prophet has been nothing more than a neverending nightmare these last couple of months, constantly being hunted by worshippers or terrorists, assassination attempts and not to mention the pain from the mark. Her eyes went back and fourth between the ground and Mihris, who had turned around as if she was a mother waiting for an explenation by a scolded child. What kind of answer would be sufficient?

" How did you come to hear about this artifact? " Solas asked then, a bit cold and curious at the same time. Ithilwen could not help from herself from letting out a small sigh of her own. He had only saved her from answering with something that diverted them both from the original question. She slowly swallowed the lump in her throat and looked up at Mihris. That question intruiged her as well.

Ithilwen for one had never even heard of such a construction until Solas told her about it two days ago, even though she was the first of her clan. She knew the Dalish to be careful sharing knowledge with each other. There was a rivalry between them, even when they claimed to be the better option of life for the elves. They all jealous hide away old secrets from each other in order to get higher status. Childish, and not much different from the humans they claimed to be so different from.

" I-- I am.. “ Mihris, pale and stumbling on her words stared back at Solas, who calmly awaited the response. It seemed to annoy her, for suddenly she straightened her back with a new confidence. “ My clan sent me, because I know more of magic and the veil than any shemlen."

Solas tilted his chin a bit upwards and smirked with a smug expression. " Ma harel, dal'en. "

 

_You are lying, child._

 

Mihris did not even flinch as she turned around and continued that path up alongside the path. Ithilwen eyed Solas from the side, who only chuckled and shook his head. They all continued up in silence. The path became slimmer and they had to walk on a line because of the tightness from the trees. Soon they would spot a small cave with pillars without a roof to support line up that had been surrounded ny wild roses. Ithilwen felt the familiar and painful tug in her left hand and stopped before the first pillar, turned around and addressed Dorian, Varric and Solas.

" There's a rift inside. "

" Alright. Then then let us prepare before entereing. " Dorian sighed. He quickly placed his staff against one of the pillars and digged into his satchel that he carried at his side, bringing out a small patch with water.

They stood at the opening, between two large pillars bigger then the others. Nature had taken it's toll on the place, for most of the old rock floor was covered by dirt, grass and old leaves. Solas hungerly looked over the structure, letting his hand glide alongside the curves of the whitered old stone.

" We need to focus magical energy to get by. " Mihris stated as she observed boulders covering the entrence. She then looked over to Solas who stood dreaming in his own world.

Ithilwen stole small glanzes from the side. She had seen him like that a few times during their travels back and fourth across Ferelden for these last couple of months. His hunger for knowledge and love of teaching it to her was some of her favorite traits about him, as well as when his brow would furrow a bit in confusion or eagerness whenever she teased him. It looked so unusual on the all knowing father that he was. He would always carry such a confident stance, a sure expressio, always surrendered by a calming aura. He was about the same age as her father, maybe a few years older. Yet they shared the same eyes. The same vast library of wisdom. She blushed when he looked a bit to the side, as if she had been caught looking at him. She quickly let her eyes fall in the other direction, and she thought she could hear him chuckle. It did not help her already pink cheeks and red ears. A small smile went across her lips, so she turned around and took a few steps to the side, looking at one of the roses that climbed up around the pillar closest to her. She let out a small sigh. She would miss this once she returnedd to her clan.

 

" You there, flatear! "

 

Her eyes instantly went back to Solas and Mihris. Her happyness has been replaced by fear of what may happen next. Of what she knew would happen. Mihris was probably like the rest of the Dalish, ignorant and feeling superior to their city born brethren. One of the many things Ithilwen hated about her kin. She herself knew what it was like being an outcast, always unsure about her surroundings and who to trust, and now Solas would experience it once more.

" Can you manage it? Or are you just like the rest of these shemlen? " Her tone reeked of superiority and smugness as she slowly circulated around the older elf in the old tattered robes. Solas only ignored her and began to walk to the entrance.

" Ma Nuveninen, Dal'en. "

Solas responded dryly and was about to place himself before the boulders, but saw Ithilwen pass by like a flash of lightening. His gaze quickly fixed on hers, for her left eye blinked between green and blue. Before he managed to stop her she had already taken hold of Mihris throat.

" Ar tu na'lin emma mi. “ Ithilwen growled deep from her lower throat. “ Do not insult my companion again, or I will make sure to see my threat come true. "

Terrefied and gasping for air Mihris down at Ithilwen, wo held her high against the wall nex to the blocked entrence with her marked hand. Solas felt himself turning cold alongside his spine. A wicked smile crept alongside the corner of her mouth. He hurried to her side and quickly placed his hand on Ithilwen's burning hot shoulder. Normally he would have taken a step back because of the heat that errupted from her mark, but he needed to save Mihris before Ithilwen would do something she would regret.

" Hamin, dal'en. I was not offended. "

In an instant Mihris was at the ground, coughing and gasping. His hand had been thrown off and Ithilwen had already made her way to the woods. Solas quickly turned to their companions that stood a few meeters away, lost in their shock. 

" Dorian, Varric, have something to eat. We will take a short rest before entering. I will chek on her. "

 

Varric secretly eyed the two elves both as they disappeared between the trees. He then took a deep sigh and placed himself on one of the fallen pillars. They had hardly spoken a word since the day at the frozen lake. She did not talk with others, When she did she only glared and snorted. Kept to herself. He hardly saw her outside of the missions and she only became more seclusive over time. The brilliant, happy young girl from the Conclave had been replaced with whatever she was transforming into. And he knew it would turn worse. He had seen it over a long period of time before, with Anders. 

The hated rebel mage, still chained in his past. Then there was Fenris, the ever broody elf, with no closiure.

And of course, Hawke, the valliant defender.

She resembled them all in one combination. As if they all had melted together into one and desperately tried to break free by killing each other. Varric sighed and looked upwards to the clouds, and the giant spot of green flames in the sky. Had she been different before, or did that cursed thing change her?

 

" Varric, I want a new nickname. "

 

He turned to the side, and saw a rather irritated dark skinned mage with a mustache that had placed himself at the same boulder. He counted the distraction from his previous thoughts as a blessing and grew a wide smile. He knew how to keep his wits about him, and how to avoid awkward conversations. He had done it dozens of times during his years with Bartrand, and Hawke.

" What's wrong with Sparkler? " He pulled the edge of Dorians rather detailed coat. " Not colorful enough for you? "

" You must know me better now, or does the monocyte you gave me five minutes after we met still apply? " Dorian snatched back his coat and glared with fiery eyes at the dwarf. Varric only let out a small chuckle.

" I have the eyes of a story teller. It's a gift. "

 " So I'm a bit of light you stick in a window to impress passwalkers by, all flash, no heat? " Varric wiggled his eyebrows and smirked as Dorian instantly fell silent. The mage slowly began to smile on his own. " Hmm, that's actually pretty clever."

Varric hit his thigh and laughed. " See? " He lifted his hands and gestured them up in the sky. " Embrace your place in the universe, sparkler. Speaking of which, “ He reached for his water satchel and gave Dorian another risen eyebrow. “, the part of you _not_ being in the Magisterium? "

" Oh for the-- " He let out a small breath and looked up in the sky, as if he asked the maker why all in the south seemed like idiots. " Not _all_ in the Imperium is a magister. " Dorian sighed and put his hand to his forehead.

" Ahh, “ Varric raised one of his fingers to make his note heard. “, but they _do_ hand out seats like they're candy. "

" Yes, but it's that black liquorice with salt on it. “ Dorian snorted. “ Not the good kind. Ready to go? " 

Confused Varric turned around and saw Ithilwen and Solas behind her. Her eyes looked hollow, her face had sunked in. She nodded in response and Mihris who had been sitting next to the entrance flew up in an instant, avoding her gaze. Ithilwe's eyes only turned darker, but she kept her distance from the other mage and walked up to the formation with boulders at the entrance together with the others. Solas took his place, and with a simple lifting gesture removed the boulders and back to their original purpose. The rocks had been part of another pair pillars, on each side of the opening, and they now once more stood proudly at the entrance side.

Ithilwen bubbled with anticipation as as her Hahren displayed how easily he used his magic. She walked forward and placed one of her hands against his latest work. It looked newly built, even though the stone had withered. Merris noticed and frowned her brows just slightly. Ithilwen ignored her and walked inside.

The long hall was dark, but Dorian quickly summoned a small fire in his hand, leading the way. 

This small cave used to be a place of memory, just a small place to put down a prayer or offer wishes to the departed. She knew this, because at the end of the hall there as an altar, and several sarcophaguses had been disturbed or destroyed along the halls walls. Ithilwen soon heard a light tune and noticed a small torch on the wall. right over an altar. She oddly enough felt drawn to it, for it whispered and seemed to sing. She unknowingly went along with it and soon were loudly humming to it's tune. Ithilwen was about to touch it when Solas Suddenly stood at her side.

" Allow me. " He stepped forward and let his hand hover over the small torch, which soon went up in flame, although it looked greenish and felt cold. Ithilwen could not help herself from letting out a small gasp at its beauty. Varric however looked like he felt differently at the subject and grunted with disgust.

" That fire is not right.. "

Solas let out small chuckle. " It is called Veilfire. " His eyes went back to the torch on the old wall. " It is a form of sympathetic magic, a memory of flame that burns in this world were the veil is thin. " He smiled as Ithilwen astonished observed the fire and hummed with it's tune.

" Interesting, I have heard of it, but never seen it. " Dorian walked over to Solas and eagerly let his finger slip through back and fourth. Solas unhooked the torch from it's place on the wall. Varric let out another off his small grunts. 

" Don't tell me we're taking that magical weird fire with us? "

Solas only shrugged and continued further into the dark. The answer didn't really satisfy the dwarf who groaned in return and followed suit. Dorian laughed and clapped Varric on his shoulder. 

 

 

” I would prefer not to linger here, this is a place of respect, and should not be disturbed more then it has been. ” Ithilwen noted as the party walked through the next dark room. The damp and moisture had helped the rottening process of the inhabitants, but the newer samples of corpses from wild animals still haunted the place with the sweet and sticking reek. Solas as well as Dorian hummed in agreement while Mihris only squinted her eyes.

” I'm surprised to hear a hunter offer such causation. Normally they all only seek glory and treasures. ”

Ithilwen kept her mouth shut and ventured forward. Solas puffed her with his mana on her shoulder, but she ignored it and quickend up her pace. They made their way down the long staircase and entered a great hall. The room had been smashed to bits from battles as well as moisture and the nature moving, most of the sealing was covered by tree roots and where light slipped in between there would grow grass as well as small flowers. Most noticeable was a rift, bleeding in the air in the center of the great hall with shades as well as a terror and a rage demon guarding it.

The battle took on quickly. Ithilwen was the only one good at close combat because of her neglect training her magical arts, so she got more pressure then what she was used too. Normally Cassandra would have fought at her side, but Solas made sure to always throw up barriers close to her. Mihris mostly focused on keeping the shades trapped, but it did not work to well when they could teleport or slim out through her roots grasp. But that offered Varric the time to reload his crossbow and finish them off without needing to move. Suddenly Ithilwen heard a shriek from her newest companion and looked over her shoulder.

Mihris had been slashed by a shade that had sneaked up behind her. Ithilwen cursed and aimed to leap to her defense, but was hindered by a rage demon that kept throwing fire against her. She desperately looked around for an opening to go through, but noticed Solas standing in front of Mihris, freezing the shade with a simple hit from the edge of his staff. Shocked Mihris rested against the floor and stared at the city elf as he without any sort of trouble moved his staff through the air and cracked the stone floor beneath his bare feet with the pure aura he held. Even Ithilwen was lost in the vast sea in his eyes as he protected the other dalish mage. But she could not dream for long as the reality of the battle soon took her back once more. The terror demon had pinned down Dorian who was keeping to the wall. In but a moment Ithilwen flew over the room with one jump and seperated it's head from it's body with a quick slash of her dagger. Dorian gave her a smirk and continued throwing fire against one of the shades attacking Varric and Ithilwen went her way to the firedemon. Suddenly it froze solid and she didn't hesitate from crushing it with a well aimed kick.

Without any sort of hesitation she prepared to take on the Rift, and jumped up, reaching her hand in the air while holding on to a small hole the damaged brick wall. The magic fiercely stinged in her palm as the Rift was being swallowed and sealed itself. Dorian, as well as Solas looked around for anything of use in the ashes from the demons, while Varric took a stroll around the room, looking for any potential traps. Ithilwen let go and fell to the ground. Exhausted she took a few breaths and began to observe the surroundings. Mihris stared at Ithilwen a few feet away, then back at the puddles that used to be the demons. 

" You're the Herald of Andraste. "

" The humans call me that. I don't follow their theory. " A wall Solas had walked by suddenly hummed and glowed. Ithilwen perked her ears and eyes." Solas, hand me that torch. " Solas did, and she almost ran over to the wall. It glowed more fiercely now, under it there was a strange mechanic work, humming with a familiar magic. She could not place it however. Mihris was at her side, gasping.

" This is the artifact! " She turned to the side. Her eyes glowed with eager and she pointed at a small gem in the middle of the strange statuette. " If we activate that crystal it should react to the strength of the veil. "

Mihris turned around and placed her hand on the crystal. She closed her eyes and let some of her mana come in contact with the gem, but nothing happened. Her eyes burst open and she looked to the side. Ithilwen only shook her shoulders. Mihris turned her attention back to the artifact once more and let out another pulse of her mana, but without any result. Several times she tried, but without any effect. Frustrated she jumped back, screaming in her anger.

" The damn thing must be broken! "

Ithilwen tilted her head to the side. " Maybe you should try, Solas? "

He shook his head and walked forward. " No, you should. Here. " Solas eagerly took hold of Ithilwen marked hand and slowly let it come in contact with the strange and dull crystal. Almost as soon as one of her fingers came in contact the crystal her whole arm turned stiff and the gem began to glow. A certain green field of magic erupted from the strange device and filled the room with with a piercing light. Pain pulsated through her arm and left side of her face so fiercely she let out a small pained hiss. Solas put his other hand around her shoulder as if to hold her steady. The light from the gem became duller after a while, but still hummed with strange power.

" Yes, “ Solas gasped in his exitement. “, the wards are helping to strengthen the Veil. This area should be safter for pilgrims now. " As soon as she could see again after the light expusure Ithilwen slowly stepped away from Solas and placed herself far away from him. He twitched his brow, slightly, then let his attention fall back to Mihris, who looked rather puzzled at the side. Ithilwen tilted her head and caught her eyes for a short moment, but Mihris only snapped her head to the side and the corner of her mouth cursed in disgust. Great. _Jealosy_. Like she hadn't had enough of that in her clan. Suddenly Mihris eyes widend and she ran to the side of the altar that the Artifact was placed on. She now held a small talisman made out of bone, The center was formed like a small leaf, but had been inlaid with gold and the strings held small green pearls. It smelled strongly, yet intriguing. " It seems the ancestors left something for me! " She gasped in her exitement, and let the talisman fall over her shoulders. She turned around.

" I believe our alliance is concluded. “ Mihris said dryly and turned as if to walk away, but Ithilwen took one long step and placed herself before her.

" Mihris, you are part of clan Vihrnen, aren't you?

Mihris stood stood silent and shocked, as if had been lit by lightening. " How did you..? "

" You carry their symbol. " Ithilwen slowly walked forward and lifted one of the many necklaces that she carried around her neck. It was decorated with the symbol of a golden crow. Mihris then furrowed her brows deep.

" They were all killed a while back, after our Keeper foolishly enough summoned a demon. “ Her eyes fell shut and she took a sharp breath. “ I am alone. "

Ithilwen slowly let go of the talisman and stepped back." My apologies and condolences. “

They both stood quiet for a time. Mihris turned once more and began to walk to the exit. After some hesitation Ithilwen took a deep breath and spoke. “ If you have nowhere to go.. “ The other elf perked her ears and turned around her head in order to meet Ithilwen gaze. “ My clan has the need for a mage, if you are willing to go there. " Mihris took another pained breath.

" And would they be willing to let me in? "

" They will. "

" Then I might do that. “ She pulled on a sad smile. “ Ma serannas, fellow dalish. " She then let her jump to Solas, who stood a few feet away from Ithilwen. Her eyes went back and fourth on the floor and the elf and eventually she took a quick breath, fixed her gaze on him and took a few steps forward. " And apologies, Solas. “ Mihris slowly reached out her hand. “ I was rude earlier. "

" I.. Thank you. " Solas stared at Mihris, then took the hand offered to him and gave it a firm shake. Mihris then took off the Talisman she had found earlier and placed it in Solas hand. " You should have it. " She did not await a response and exited ran across the room and exited. 

 

Solas stood silent in the room, with the talisman in hand. Eventually he looked to the side and saw Ithilwen, who smiled back in return before she too began to walk towards the entrance.

 

" Come on, it's high time we get to Redcliffe. "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations:  
> Andaran atish’an - Enter this place in peace. A formal elven greeting. Literally: "I dwell in this place, a place of peace "  
> Aneth ara- A sociable or friendly greeting, more commonly used among the Dalish themselves rather than with outsiders. Literally: "My safe place"  
> Ma Nuveninen - As you wish  
> Dal'en - Child  
> Ma Harel - You lie  
> Hahren - Elder, teacher  
> Ar tu na'lin emma mi - I will see your blood on my blade  
> Ma serannas - Thank you  
> Hamin - Calm
> 
> Btw, salty Liquorice is DA SHITZ <3


	16. In Hushed Whispers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally arrive in Redcliffe, but like always, something goes wrong.

” Well, I'll be damned. Now I've seen everything. ”

 

 

A man in his sixties with a large red mustache and sharp nose stood behind an old rundown house outside of the Villages gates. He wore a dirty old farmer attire, along with a small blade at his side and a bow at his back. He also held a helmet under his arm, and held a sack with the other. Confused Ithilwen scratched her head after dismounting Duke as the older man quickly walked over to her.

” I'm sorry? ”

” The mage really wasn't lying when he described you. ” The man continued in a perky tune as he examined her from top to toe. His voice was rough, as if he had been taking something strong to drink. He reached out his hand, forcefully took hold of hers with a mighty strong grip and gave it a firm shake.

” Name's Murdock, I'm the mayor. We've been expecting you. ” He let go of her hand, bowed with chivalry and gave Ithilwen a heartfelt smile, who only scratched her head back in confusion.

” We? ”

” The population of Redcliffe. ” Murdock laughed.

His face then took a rather dark turn as he leaned in. ” Amell? ” She nodded in response. The older man's eyes then went back and forth as he whispered into her ear, checking for possible eavesdroppers. ” He's gone missing. ”

She felt the strands of her hair in her neck rise. He was in danger then. She sighed in relief that Conner hadn't been around to see it, then quickly fixed her eyes in the older mans. ” Does anyone else know? ”

Murdock shook his head. " No, only you and I. He said something went amiss up at the castle, and that we should prepare. Then, two days later he had vanished. ” He raised his hand and pointed at the castle in the distance behind him with the thumb. ” I think the mage's up in the keep have taken him prisoner. ”

” You sure about that? He's not hiding somewhere? ”

” I've known the man for years. ” The mayor grunted and fell back, but he still kept his voice low and gestures for her to follow. They walked through the great gate and upwards a narrow path where the windmill was located. Murdock kept talking on the way. ” Him and the arl are as close as brothers. He would not leave, even if his life depended on it. ” His grim face took on a confident smile. ” But don't worry. The town's smith have been arming the townsfolk while you were gone. ”

Ithilwen squinted her eyes. " Why? "

” Why do you think, lass? ” Murdock let out another confident laugh and hit his thigh. ” We intend to storm the castle with you lot. ”

” What? ” Ithilwen stopped in the middle of the path and almost spit back in her surprise. ” I cannot let you do that, you will all get yourself killed! ”

” You clearly haven't met this bunch. ” The older man kept laughing and clapped her in the back with a friendly pat as he continued up along the old path. ” We've resorted to militia training this last decade, taught by the old warden commander and the king themselves. ” He took a step to the side and nodded to a farmer a few feet away, who immediately turned on his heel and made his way down to the village. Murdock tilted his head back and spoke with pride.

” I acted as one of her generals during the Blight. ” Ithilwen dropped her jaw as two new farmers turned up, both wearing short swords, light leather armor and shields, all holding the emblem of Redcliffe, a white tower against a red mountain. She scratched her head as more and more men walked upwards the path from the village in perfect union and speed. The confidently placed himself in a well timid line before the small party and saluted with happy grins. Murdock began anew with even more confidence.

” The blight took hard on us, but we stepped up stronger from the ash. We will not let some damn skirts, excuse my choice of words, ” 

He nodded to Solas and Dorian who stood behind Ithilwen. Dorian lost his nerve and began to laugh, while Solas looked as calm as ever, although the corner of his mouth did creep up. 

”, swoop down upon us. ” Murdock finished, saluted and walked over to his men in order to give them instructions.

” You know what they say, ” Varric filled in at Ithilwen's side as he nudged her in the ribs with his elbow.

” Swooping is bad. ”

  

" The Magister's invetation was for Mistress Lavellan and no one else. "

 

A rather pompous servant, blonde and clearly ferelden, but who had taken a liking to his new role that had been given him by the Tevinter awaited Ithilwen, Solas and Varric in the great hall. Dorian and Murdock together with Leliana's agents that had turned up at the designated area decided to go through the small passage through the Windmill in order to use the element of suprise. The servent pointed at Varric and Solas as they aimed to move forward.

" You lot wait here. "

The Herald gave the butler a long and icy look. " Where they go, I go. "

He gave in when he saw her eye twitch. She carried little patience for self absorbed people, especially lakes of her enemies. He stepped to the side, allowing her to walk first up the stairs leading them to a great hall. The room was old and made from grey stone, even the floor, but it had been decorated with carpets. Because of the keeps age it had bound to get drafted, so the walls had been covered by many different kinds of clothes and linen in vibrant red and blue with golden characters. At the end of the hall a great fireplace had been build, and before that a couple of thrones made from wood was stationed. Alexius was sitting in the middle one. It was the tallest and broadest. Clearly the seat of the Arl. Felix stood next to him, at the left, and at the right Fiona.

The servant ran forward, bowing and gestured at the small party behind him.

" My lord magister, the agents of the Inquisition have arrived. "

Alexius quickly jumped up on his feet and raised up his arms in the air. " My friend! It's so good to see you again. " He smiled brightly at Ithilwen, but once he saw the men behind her his eyes became darker. " And of course your associates.. I'm sure we can work out some arrangement that is equitable to all parties. " He said with a dryer voice.

Fiona, who had stood rather quiet in the corner slowly walked forward to his side.

" Are we mages to have a no voice in deciding our own fate? "

The magister did not even bother to look at her, instead he waved her off nonchalantly with his right hand. " Fiona, you would not have turned your followers over to my care if you did not trust me with their lives. "

Ithilwen eyed the enchantress, then Alexius. " If Fiona wishes to hear I invite her as a guest of the Inquisition. " Fiona began to smile. 

" I.. thank you. "

Alexius had turned around and made himself comfortable in the Arl's seat. He then waved with his fingers and the blonde servant now ran to him, fetching a bottle with wine at a small counter next to the wall that he poured in a small glass and handed over to Alexius.

" The Inquisition needs mages to close the Breach, and I have them. " The magister swirled his glass for a bit, then took a small sip and placed it on the plate the servant held at his side. " So, what shall you offer in exchange? "

" Please, Alexius. " Ithilwen grew a smug smile of her own, tilted her head a bit to the side and took another step forward. " I know you invited me here to have me killed. "

Alexius bent forward just slightly and rose one of his brows in amusement. " If you believe that, I marvel that you chose to come anyway. "

 

" She knows everything, father. "

 

" Felix? "Alexius tone instantly changed, and his otherwise secure and confident stance became a bit more defensive as his hands took hold of the chairs sides. " Did _you_ bring him here? "

" Where is Aaron Amell? " Ithilwen demanded with a clear voice. The man Alexius referred to could be none other then him.

Alexius slowly tilted his head to his side, glaring at Ithilwen. His eyes's suddenly flashed in anger, the pupils had become small and his mouth showed a toothy grin. Suprisingly enough he began to laugh, a low and dark hum. 

" He is one of my honored guests, didn't you know? "

Alexius snapped with his fingers and the door to his left opened up. Two Venatori guards dragged a limp and bloody body between them and threw it at Alexius feet. The blonde servant trembled with anticipation and went forward with the glass of whine he still held in his hand. He slowly raised the cup in the air, and then poured the rest of the wine over the body's head, that began to cough. Fiona, as well as Felix gasped at the sight. Ithilwen shut her eyes for a short moment and took a deep breath.

Amell had been brutally beaten and cut, his nose had been broken and from what Ithilwen could make out of it he missed two of his fingers on his right hand. Aaron then turned his face to Ithilwen, and she felt more calm, because his eyes glowed as full of life as it had when they met him almost a week ago. Her eyes then caught a glimps of his forehead. She instantly recognised the mark, for she had seen it on Minave's friends back in Haven.

A red sun, the emblem of the chantry.

" You see what the south does to their own mages? " Alexius rose from his seat and walked around Amell with slow steps, like a peachcock. " Tranquillity? " He slowly shook his head to the sides. " How are _we_ not saving these mages? " Amell spit out some blood and angrily stared back at the Magister over him. Alexius stopped and placed his foot on his cheek and pinned him down with his weight.

" Then you walk into my stronghold with your stolen mark-- A gift you don't even understand-- And think you're in control? " He snorted and showed his teeth. " You're nothing but a mistake. "

" If you know so much, enlighten her. " Aaron forcefully turned his face to Alexius. Even though, no matter how much confidence he faked, still sounded strained and exhausted. " Tell her what the mark on her hand is for. "

Once more Amell was pinned down with his foot, with more force this time, as the Tevinter began to laugh sarcastically. " It belong to her betters. None of you would even begin to understand it's purpose. "

" Father! " Felix now was at his side, dragging Alexius in the arm, but he pulled it back just as easily. " Listen to yourself! Do you know what you sound like? "

 

" He sounds exactly like the sort of villainous clishé everyone expects us to be. "

 

Dorian stepped out from the shadows from the left side of the great hall, behind one of the large stone pillars. He held his staff ready in his right hand. Alexius stood quiet for one moment, and sighed in the next. " I gave you a chance to be a part of this, Dorian. You turned me down. " Alexius had stepped off Amell and took a step back. " The elder one has power you never would believe. He will raise the Imperium from its own ashes. "

 

" The elder one killed the Divine! "

 

Ithilwen let out a deep sigh and shut her eyes. _Finally_ they had a name behind the Breach creation, yet there was little time to absorb what had just been said. Amell was quickly punished with a kick to his abdomen.

“ Now, that wasn't very courteous off you, was it? " Alexius scoffed and bowed down, took hold of Aarons long hair and pull him up to his face. " Telling on me like that? “ He then dropped Aaron back to the stone floor, rose up and turned back to his guests. " Soon The Elder One will become a god. He will make the world bow to mages once more. We will rise from the Boeric ocean to the Frozen seas. "

" You can't involve my people in this! " Fiona held her hand in front of her mouth. The image of Ame'lls broken body had nearly crushed her spirit. Everyone could see that she wanted to run forward, but lacked the courage to do so.

Dorian took another few steps and kept his focus on his old master with pleading eyes. " Alexius. This is exactly what you and I talked about _never_ wanting to happen! " His voice became more firm. " Why would you support this? "

" Listen, Alexius, give up the Venatori. Let the southern mages fight the Breach and go home with your son. " Aaron gasped under his feet. Alexius had not been immune to his offer, for he trembled at the spot and let his hand covered most of his face.

" I cannot.. " He sighed silently. " It's my only way to save him. "

Felix took hold of his father's arms. " Save me? "

" There is a way. " Alexius looked up once more, with a pained expression at his son. " The Elder one promised. If I undo the mistake at the Temple.. "

Pained Felix sighed at his father's side. " I'm going to die. " He tried to take hold of his fathers head and turn it towards him. " You need to accept that. " Alexius only tilted it to the side and stared down at Amell who gasped on the floor.

" Listen to your son, Alexius. For all our sakes. "

" Forgive me.. " Alexius whispered. Aarons eyes widened and he forced his head to the side.

Alexius raised his hand and pointed at Ithilwen. " Seize them, Venatori! The Elder one demands this elf's life! "

 

" No! " Aaron threw a push with his energy and managed to trip Alexius. He then threw himself back down the stairs, but was caught by Ithilwen and instantly jumped up on his feet.

 

Nothing happend though, for the hall remined silent. Alexius stared at the shaddows and gasped. Murdock as well as some of the townsfolk stood ready with their bows together with Leliana's scouts. Murdock ran forward, took hold of Amell and backed away. Ithilwen looked back at Alexius with a new condifence. They had won.

" Your men are dead, Alexius. "

" You are a mistake! " Alexius suddenly yelled. He walked back and fourth in his anger, bringing out the knife from his side.

" You never should have existed! " A strange sound filled the room, as well as a light that came from Alexius hand.

In his palm he held a small amulet, glowing green and fiercely with a magic very similar to the one in in Ithilwen hand. Dorian suddenly snapped and jumped forward in panic.

 

" Don't! "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I like to bring in old characters. I dunno if you remember them tho'.
> 
> La bidi bidi bum. Another short chaptah, me so evil. But that's how they do it, on broadway.


	17. In Hushed Confusion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ithilwen finds herself trapped with Dorian, but not knowing where.
> 
>  
> 
> Or when..

Ithilwen suddenly found herself falling, then wrapped in icecold water, her vision was blurred and she felt nauseous. Unable to grasp the situation she threw around her arms, trying to find something solid, but stopped once she heard voices yell angrily. She gasped as the sword came rushing against her, but it missed as she quickly avoided it by falling to the side.

Her mouth instantly spit out the dirty water she had managed to swallow in her confusion. Despite the dirty and dark surroundings she could smell Dorian. He was close, that much was certain. Soon the angry voices was replaced with the familiar noise of battle. She turned around in the water, falling on her knees and looked to the other side of the room. Her companion was busy, fighting off one of their attackers. She needed to get up, help, but was interrupted as the sword from before dashed against her. Luckily enough she dismissed it by slashing it back with a bolt of her energy. The man fell back and down in the cold water with a loud splash.

There was no time to think about the consequences of her using her magic, so she went for it. She quickly went up on her shaking legs, trying to find something solid to grab on to. The daggers she usually carried had been lost. Unarmed and tired she would not get far. Her hands traced alongside the wall when she suddenly felt the sting from a red crystal. Red lyrium. Her hand instantly let go of it. Next to the lyrium she saw an old stick that rested against the wall. She quickly took it and looked around. It was not a magical staff, and would therefore not pulsate magic, but she had trained to use one in close combat long ago. Hopefully she would still remember how to work the tequinice well enough to survive. The attacker, at a closer inspection he wore vanatori garbs, from before aimed for her once more with his short sword, and she quickly threw a pulse of her mana at him in return, like a small whirlwind. He was taken back by the push, circulated up in the air and hit his head against the wall, but it had not been to the best effect. He was already trying to get back on his feet, although stumbeling back and fourth at the place. With one mighty leap she threw herself forward, boosting her speed with a gush of wind and knocked him back with the end of the stick. With a gurgeling sound he got knocked back, right at the wall filled with red lyrium.

He stared down at the red spear peircing him through the chest. Ithilwen stood silent, shocked but jumped when a painfull scream escaped his throat. He slolwy began to glow red. His eyes began to cry blood that flowed down alongside his cheeks, then down his throat and torso untill it colored the water red down under him. In but mere seconds his whole body began to loose it's shape, as if he was melting. Horrified Ithilwen stared at the red, glowing puddle that used to be a man, and the peice of armor that had been burned to ash still hanging on to the lyrium spear. It took her several moments before she noticed how quiet the room actually was.

_Dorian._

 Anguished she searched the room with her eyes. The water was red from blood, but it did not give off any scent of her friend. Her senses would not work with so much of it polluting the air. Pain then caught her shoulder and she fell down on her knee back in the cold water. Several curses in the elven tongue left her lips, for the injury from West Hill had healed, but she had strained the muscles around it when she had used the spell from earlier. Just another thing complicating the already complicated situation.

 

" Ithilwen! "

 

Hope instantly caught her. He was alive then. Her head quickly turned around to the side.

He was resting against one of the walls next to a gate, covering his upper body with a relieved grin off his own. She quickly turned and jumped through the high water to him. A big and bright smile had formed on her lips, skitty with joy of not being alone. But her heart nearly stopped once she reached him.

The white fabric of his coat had been already been soaked in crimson red and she felt even more uneasy when she knew she would be the one to heal him. The one to help him. _Touch_ him.

In but a moment she was at his side, the stick was quickly tossed aside as she knelt down in the dirty water next to his abdomen.

" You never said you were a mage. " Dorian grinned when she forcefully ripped up his coat and undershirt. Blood began to slip down her underarm and down in the water.

“ I will tell you later. " She quickly breathed as she tried to keep her gaze steady on the wound that ran across his dark skin. " How are you feeling? “

Dorian snorted back. " Aweful. Whatever magic Alexius used on us it certainly caught me by suprise. " He hissed when she touched the surface of the opening. A few drops of red gushed out and dyed the blue of her tunic. She tried to steady her shaky breath. Healing was not her speciality, even though her many times treating Sadron. None of the injuries had been of this caliber though. 

She quickly corrected herself inside her mind. _Well, with the exception from **that** time with the commander._ Her attention went back to the situation at hand.

" Do you know what he did? "

Dorian let his hand catch his chin as he hummed in thought. " Displacement? It's probably not what Alexius intended. The rift must have moved us.. " Ithilwen twitched.

Moved?

" Where? "

" I'm getting there! " Dorian yelled as he had let go if his chin, but his hand fell back once again as he leaned back against the wall. " The closest confluence of arcane energy? " Ithilwen arched her brow. Tevinter clearly held superior magic to her own. She then sighed in relief as she observed the scar across the Tevinters flesh.

His inner organs seemed to be alright, it was his muscles that had taken the serious hit. But he kept bleeding. She rubbed her palms against each other and tried to focus her energy to her hands. Dorian twitched as she placed her palms against the surface, but tried to hold still as she breath after breath brought small pulses of mana down in the flesh. He would sometimes groan, not unexpected since healing ripped muscles took more finesse then healing bruises or stopping the flow of blood. The flesh that had parted soon joined together and fell into the same pattern as before. Satisfied with her work Ithilwen let out a deep sigh and ripped off another piece of cloth from her other arm that she began to wrap around his abdomen. It would be sufficient until they got to a real healer.

Astonished Dorian stared down at Ithilwen as she closed the fabric around his abdomen. She then looked up. 

" The last thing I remember is us being in the great hall in Castle Redcliffe. "

He looked around for a quick observation. There was a small tug in the corner of his mouth. " We're still in the castle, that much is obvious from the architecutre..This isn't.." His brows furrowed, but then his eyes grew round of exitement. " Oh! Of course! "

Ithilwen stopped her treatment and looked up at Dorian.

“ It's not simply where-- it's when! "

" Don't tell me.. " Her eyes slowly widened as she peice by piece put together his what he actually was saying. The clarity of his words had not yet sunk in.

" Indeed! Alexius used the amulet as a focus. It moved us through time! "

 It had moved them through time.

 

Her heart nearly stopped. 

 

" Can you undo it? "

" Unfortunately not, but I have an idea. " He turned his head to the door. " Let's look around, see where the rift took us. Then we can figure how to get back.. If we can. " Ithilwen finished bandaging the wound and went back to her feet. 

" Then let us move. "

" I'm right-- " He groaned as she helped him forward. " -- With you. " She let his arm fall over her shoulder and they began walking out of the room.

 

Even as they continued out the room was filled with Red Lyrium. It covered most of the walls, as well as the sealing.Varric had warned her from going close to it at several occasions and therefore made her feel even more nervous. It almost felt like it whispered in her mind, teasing her as it promised great power. Focusing became harder, and so she tried to dismiss her thought by bringing up another subject.

" Do you know what Alexius was trying to do when he opend that rift? "

" My guess? To remove you from time, completely. “ Ithilwen stared at him from the side. He gave her a grim nod back. “ If that happend, you would never have been at the Temple of Sacred Ashes or mangled this so called Elder one's plan. Your surprise in the Castle hall must have made him reckless. He tossed us into the rift before he was ready. I counted it, the magic went wild. And here we are. Make sense? "

" It seems hard to just think about it. Experiencing it is even more.. " She let out a sharp breath.

Dorian groaned and spoke with a higher tune. " I don't even want to think about what this will do to the fabric of the world. We didn't travel through time so much as punch a hole through it and toss it in the prify. " He squeezed her shoulder, and she let her eyes meet his. He grinned.

" But don't worry, I'm here. I will protect you. " Ithilwen smiled back and pointed at his wound.

" I think it will be the other way around. "

" You may be right. " He gave away a pained laugh.

" This Elder One, do you know who-- What he might be? "

" The leader of the Venatori, I suspect. Some Magister aspiring to godhood. " His voice went bitter and oddly high pitched. " It's the same old tune. _Let's play with magic we don't understand, it will make us incredibly powerful._ " He scoffed and took another slow step forward. " Evidently it doesn't matter if you rip apart the fabric of time in the process. "

" Do you think the others in the hall have been drawn through as well? "

" No, I doubt the Rift was large enough to bring the whole room through. Alexius wouldn't risk catching himself or Felix in it. They're probably still where, and when, we left them. In some sense, anyway. "

" That's a relief. " Ithilwen sighed. " Then we will not need to worry about leaving someone behind. "

" Could not agree more. " Dorian smiled. " But I would not have minded another helping hand right now, to tell the truth. "

 

They walked up through the stairs, and the way split in two. Ithilwen desperately tried to hear, watch, smell for a better way out, but it stings all of her senses. The sweet, she shuddered when she thought if of sweet, smell of blood still lingered in the depth of her nose, as well as the taste on her tongue. Dorian noticed it as her hand went up to her nose.

 " Where to? " Dorian joked as he observed her from the side. He then saw her eye blink between green and blue as she began to sniff once more, and tensed up just for a little. Ithilwen kept herself to busy to even notice the unease the other mage was beginning to feel.

" I'd go with this one. " She pointed to the right. " It sm-- " She corrected herself in the middle of her sentence and avoided the other mage's eyes. " I feel better about this one. " Dorian nodded, not entirely convinced of her answer as they walked through the right tunnel. They had just exited it when they heard footsteps at the other end. Dorian quickly took hold of Ithilwen and dragged her back, hiding close to the wall as a unit of venatori men moved passed them.

" Lucky the water is so high and hard to see through. " Dorian whispered close to her ear. " Those we killed earlier wont be easy to find. " He looked over his shoulder, holding Ithilwen close to his chest. She leaned in in order to make them less visible, but wished that she hadn't.

Dorian obviously tried to appear the stronger party, but his heart galloped inside his chest. She bit her lower lip. She too was afraid. What if they never could get back? She looked around the room. Would this be her new home?

 

No.

 

She could not afford to think like that.

Not now. She would need to be strong, no matter what. For her, for Dorian, and the people they had left behind. There was no time for regrets. No time for weakness.

Her eyes fixed at some smeared paint at the stone wall above her. She let her fingers venture over the wet rock.

" I wonder what the castle may have looked like before it was flooded.. " Ithilwen whispered for herself. The mage holding her close snorted with an amused tune in response.

" The walls were covered by the most tacky taste of Mabari paintings I've ever seen. "

 Ithilwen scoffed, also amused, as her eyes went over the walls. " This not much of an improvement, then. "

" Indeed. " Dorian looked over the side of the wall and took a step forward. The danger had passed, for the moment. He then let his arm close around her shoulders once more as they aimed to continue down the path.

 " Im glad to see I'm not the only one with a fashion sense. But really my dear, we need to do something about this once we get back. " Dorian pinched the edge of the ripped fabric of Ithilwen tunic. " Can't have the Herald wander around barefoot and in these tattered garbs! "

" What's wrong with my outfit? " Ithilwen scoffed back.

" What _isn't_ wrong? " Dorian closed his hand around Ithilwen's chin and drew her closer to his face. " Such a waste on such a pretty face. " He observed her faetures up and down then let go and sighed.

Her white face turned fiercely red in an instant. " I'm sorry? "

" You heard me. " Dorian sighed once more and closed his hand around his forehead. " What is it with today's girls? " 

 

They continued forward, going slowly because of Dorians injuries and not wanting to alert any more guards. It would do them little good, with him injured and her unarmed, with the exception the white stick. As soon as they reached the next room they noticed two other soldiers, standing across each other, guarding two doors. There was a third door, but it blocked by glowing red magic. She dragged back Dorian and placed him on the floor.

" Wait here. "

" Are you crazy? " Dorian whispered harshly back. " You won't be able to take them on! "

" Don't worry so much. " Ithilwen smirked. Her eye blinked green once more.

Desperately Dorian tried to catch her arm, but she had already jumped through the door. She knelt down to her knees, making her way to the dark corner closest to her. A few bricks was sticking out from the wall, making it possible to climb it. She ignored the pain in her shoulder. The magic in her left hand would be able to take it. Elves had better vision in the dark, and her left eye only made it better. She had left the Stick back with Dorian, it did not serve her in stealth as well as a dagger would have. Living as a scout in the woods had given her the needed advantage. Hopefully her spells would be enough.

The roof was held up by wooden beams she could make use of. The down part would be her shadow dancing back on the floor, so she would need to move quickly if she wanted to surprise them. As soon as she was close enough she jumped down on one of the guards, crushing his skull against the floor in the process. The other guard instantly saw her and ran for her, but she had already taken hold of the dead soldiers sword and blasted the other to the floor with a push of energy. In a second she has leaped over to the other side of the room and cut his throat. She then observed the new weapon she held in her hand, gave it a firm swing. It would do, for now. She went back to the first guard and took the swords scabbard from his hip and put it around herself. It was way to large, so she hanged it around her back instead. The only other thing of note on their corpses was a large metal key that she victoriously took to present to Dorian who only stared back at her from the floor.

" Let's go! " She took hold of Dorian's arm and let it fall around her shoulders once more and took the stick in her right hand. They stumbled on in silence to the next room with the three doors. Dorian looked over the one with a barrier.

" I don't think I will be able to break through this. The wall is made out of fire. " He snorted in his anger. " It's as if Alexius knew I would be here. What about you? " Dorian turned to the side and studied Ithilwen as she looked over the barrier. " He is unaware of your magic, so there should not be any magical traps waiting for you. "

Ithilwen slowly shook her head. " I don't know, I never really used magic that much. " Dorian let out another small sigh, clearly annoyed by the situation. " I guess we'll have to hope to find another way out, then, or something to break this with. "

" Any idea where to go? "

" Let's see, you had a key? "

Ithilwen nodded and brought it forward. " I wonder what it kept locked? "

Dorian snapped and tilted his head a bit to the side. " Is it just me, or do you hear something? "

Ithilwen stopped looking at Dorian and perked hear ears. It was true. Someone was humming on a tone one level lower, through the door closest to them. Dorian laughed as he saw her ears twitch just a bit. " Like a bunny! " He took hold of the tip on the ear closest to him. " How adorable. "

Ithilwen gasped at his touch and tilted her head back to Dorian. " St—Stop that. Or I'll drop you right there! "

" You wouldn't. " He teased back. Then cleared his throat. " But you are right. This is hardly the time. Let's follow that noise. It looks like we need to get down a level. "

They took the turn to the left door, and made their way to a staircase, leading down to a smaller room, filled with cages. The sound only got clearer the longer they went.

They opened a door at the end of yet another rundown hall and found an elf in a cell. The same elf that had greeted her almost a week ago at the Villages gates. Ithilwen slowly walked forward to the cells doors. The elf looked out in the air with blood dropping from his glowing red eyes. His voice was altered, it sounded like he stood in a giant empty room. Over and over he would recite one line of words in a hum.

" Andraste Guide me, Andraste blessed me. "

" What have they done to you? " Ithilwen blurted out horrified, but all she got was the same part of the chant he lost in his trans kept repeating for himself. She stared back at Dorian who hardly could keep his eyes on the elf in the cell.

" Come on. " He finally said. " There might be someone else close by. " He took hold of her hand and pulled her with him while passing the cage.

Ithilwen, deep in her thoughts revisited the image of the knight-commander back in Kirkwall. " He was all covered by red Lyrium. Varric once told me that it changed people. " Ithilwen shuddered at the thought. What if they would all turn like her in the end?

Dorian kept quiet and made it through the hall when something suddenly caught his gaze. He nudged Ithilwen to look to the left.

 

From her waist down she had been swallowed by red Lyrium as well as a part of her arms. But a big clunk of the evil material seemed to be missing, for there was a hole where her right leg would have been. Like the other elf her eyes glowed red and she spoke with an transformed voice.

" You're alive. How? " Her eyes only widend further and further. " I saw you disappear to the rift. "

Ithilwen eyes widened in recognition and pointed through the cells bars. " _You're_ the Fiona that invited me to Redcliffe back in Val Royeaux! "

Fiona's eyes grew round. " If I had known it would lead to _this_ I would have told you to keep away! " Her head turned to the side in her anguish, trying to avoid Ithilwen pitying eyes. " I'm so sorry! I never ment for this to happen. He, forced me to do it. If I didn't.. "

Ithilwen caught the bars and whimpered behind them. " What happend to you? "

The Grand Enchanter's eyes began to get blurry, as small drops of red tears slowly made their way down her cheeks. " The lyrium. The longer you're near it, eventually it begins to grow out of you. Like a thousand needles it pierces your skin. Burst out. " Her eyes slowly ventured down to the lower part of the body, at the big hole. " Once you're nothing more then.. _This_ they mine it out of you. "

Dorian, despite his anger focused his voice to make it sound calm. " Can you give us a date? It's very important. "

Fiona's brows furrowed as she thought hard. They anxiously waited for her to think. Finally her head went up with an triumphant expression. " Harvest mir, 9;42 Dragon. "

" 9;42? " Dorian gasped and looked to Ithilwen at his side. " Then we've missed an entire year! "

" Please, " Fiona let out in a pained breath as she fixed her pleading eyes in Ithilwen. " Don't let this happen. "

" I promise you. I _will_ stop this. "

Fiona gasped, her eyes then went upwards. " Your spymaster, Leliana! She is here." Ithilwen released her hand. " Find her. "

Suddenly Ithilwen perked her ears. She quickly turned to Dorian." Footsteps." Dorian took hold of Ithilwen arm.

" Quickly, get out! I'll hold them off! " Fiona gasped in another pained breath.

Dorian did not need any convincing. He practically dragged Ithilwen behind him as he with pained breaths ran through yet another door in the end of the hall.

" We have a goal. " He hitched on his breath as he turned to Ithilwen.

 

" We look for your spymaster, then Alexius amulet. "

 


	18. In Hushed Resques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On their way to find Leliana, Dorian and Ithilwen happen to stumble on a pair of old friends.

" Andrastes sacred knickers. "

 

Ithilwen began to smile widely as she recognized the husky and deep tune of her favorite dwarf and turned to the right, but her releif quickly vanished when she saw the state he was in. The Durgen’len only kept gasping and rubbing his eyes, as if he did not trust his own senses.

His darkblonde hair hanged loose down to his scapulars and a beard covered most of his face. Like the rest of the prisoners he and his eyes glowed red, and his voice was just as hollow. He had lost alot of weight, because his otherwise plump cheeks had sunken in, as well the visible part of his chest. His fingers were a lot scrawnier than they used too and they looked badly mistreated.

She bit her lower lip in recognition.

He had been through torture.

Her eyes then noticed his cell walls that was covered by the Red Lyrium. She instantly threw herself at the iron door with the key and tried to get it open with her shaky hands.

" You're alive? " Varric scratched his head further. " But.. Where were you? How did you escape? " Dorian snorted and rested against the cells bars for ballance with his arms crossed.

" We didn't. Alexius sent us into the future. "

Varric stood silent with his jaw dropped, then began to laugh as he stared back at Ithilwen. " Everything that happens to you is weird! "

Ithilwen finally got the door opend, quicly grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him towards her with such force that they both went backwards and fell down on the dusty floor. She wanted him away from the cursed thing, as quickly as possible, even if she knew it was all to late already. She then laughed nervously as she let go of the shocked dwarf and jumped back on her feet and offered him her hand, but he went up on his own. Her voice trembled as she focused her eyes on her companion.

" You.. You noticed that, did you? "

" I'm always right, and when I'm not, I lie about it. " He laughed again and straightened out his short back. " So, what are you doing here? " He let out a short sigh as his brows twitched and darted his eyes between his guests. " Or did you come back just to trade quips with me? "

Dorian fixed his gaze at the dwarf. " We get to Alexius, and I just might be able to send us back to our own time. " He then stared out in the thin air with an empty expression. " Simple, really. "

" That.. May not be as easy as you think. " Varric slowly and hesitationaly said. Ithilwen and Dorian exchanged looks for one second, then turned their attention back to the dwarf who with forced breaths let his eyes fall shut. " Alexius is just a servant. His so called  _Elder One_ assassinated the empress and led a demon army in a huge invasion on the south. " Varric nervously began to comb back his hair with his swollen and dirty fingers when Ithilwen and Dorian alike dropped their jaws. " The Elder One rules everything. What's left of it, anyway. Alexius.. Is really not the one you need to worry about. "

Ithilwen turned to the side and caught Dorian's arm. " Then he might already know were here! We need to go back! We need to find that Harellan now! " Varric clearerd his throat just as she was about to turn to the door, still holding tightly around Dorian's coat.

" If you're going after Alexius, I'm coming with you. "

She stopped, let go of the mage at her side and took a closer step to Varric with an uneasy gaze resting on his beaten face. After some hesitation she took a sharp breath and fixed her eyes in his.

" Are you sure you're up to it? "

Varric, almost offended scoffed as he let his hands rise up in the air.

" Don't be silly, besides, Sparkler isn't in the best shape either. " He grinned towards Dorian who held his hand around the cloth around his waist. " At least grant me a little fun before you go. " The dwarf wiggled with his eyebrows while Ithilwen only grew more and more uncomfortable. After a short moment she let out another breath and raised her hand as she gave up.

" Fine. "

Victoriously Varric was about to strot outside the door, but was stopped by Ithilwen raised hand.

" You cannot go out like _that_. "

" You just gestured all of me! " Varric grunted back. 

Ithilwen crossed her arms. " Unarmed you will not get far. " Varric sighed and scratched his beard.

" They took Bianca when they caught me and Chuckles a year ago. I have no idéa where she might be. "

" Chuckles? " Dorian asked with an amused tone at the side.

Ithilwen ignored him and almost grabbed the dwarf by his shoulders. " Do you know if he still live? "

" Not a clue. " Varric gave her a sympathetic look. " But then, I've overheard something about Ruffles from the guards. "

" Ruffles? " Dorian asked again. Somewhat irritated after being ignored the first time.

" We know. " Ithilwen answered shortly. " We're looking for her, in fact. Fiona said she was close. "

She looked to the side and saw a chest in the other side of the room. She quickly made short work of the lock and threw it open. To her relief she found Bianca, as well as a couple of bolts. She picked it up and handed it over to Varric, who disturbingly enough held it like it had been a babe and began to rub and kiss the crossbow, telling it everything was allright, how much he had missed it and never would let it out of his sight again. Unfortunately there were no dry shoes for Varric to change with, but there was an old coat, a bit to many sizes to large to fit, but Ithilwen ripped off the end and the arms so it wouldn't hang in the ground.

" You might not be the most handsome dwarf in the land.. " Varric furrowed his brows at Dorian. " But this certainly makes you outstanding! " Varric laughed and hit his thigh.

" You know, Sparkler. I've missed you. "

 

As they went forward in the old corridor Ithilwen began to feel more and more nervous, her heart practically marched inside her chest.

If Varric was alive the others might be as well.

She observed the dwarf over her shoulder.

The revelation of finding Varric had been nerve wrecking. Finding another of her companions as mistreated as him would be the end of her. She looked forward, swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to calm her nerves and cleared her voice. She was just about to ask when a scent hit her. She instantly looked back to her companions.

" Solas is close! "

Varric, as well as Dorian alike raised their eyebrows. " How can you be so sure? "

" I.. " Ithilwen looked around. Telling that she had smelled him would be even weirder and settled for a more obvious reason. " I felt his magic. "

Dorian twitched and furrowed his brows even deeper. He clearly saw himself as the superior mage of them two, yet she claimed to feel this certain elf's mana when he could not? Suspicious, and unlikely. He kept his mouth shut and allowed her to lead them.

They went down a level and was once again greeted by water. This tunnel seemed to tilt down, and so the water had a current, luckily not so strong that it would force them down. The corridor was rather badly damaged, and several big boulders covered their path. Bringing Dorian over it was no simple task, and Varric who was a bit shorter took help from Ithilwen by taking her hand.

As soon as he took it she felt like dragging it away. The red lyrium in his blood burned her skin. She did not show it to him, of course. The revelation was not needed right just yet. The scent hit her once more.

He was closer.

She took hold of Dorian and ran through the water, still sniffing with her nose high. Dorian would glance back to Varric from time to time, who returned the puzzled look and shrugged his shoulders. They came to a crossing with two door. She threw the right one up.

 

The whole world seemed to dim out, slow down. The only thing visible was the form of him, the only thing she could hear was the pained breaths that left his throat and the only thing she could smell was the familiar scent of herbs and old tombes, all things mixed in, blended, with the sharp, sticking and threatening aroma of the Red Lyrium.

 

His shoulder long, golden hair glimmered in the red light that was given by the evil crystals filling the whole side of his cell. She released Dorian who took a couple of steps to the side, observing him.

His normally ocean grey eyes filled with calm and wisdom glowed red in the dark, empty and hollow, but once he caught the glimps of the small rings in the water he lifted his head, and felt light return to him.

He had known her to be alive, for the magic of her mark had never returned to him. Yet this moment felt so surreal, unthinkible. He had at several occations after his capture imagined this scene, over and over again. How she would stand there, ready to save him. Ready to save the world. 

The door protested because of the rust, but she easily threw it opend with her marked hand. The cool and smooth touch of her skin sent small shivers down his spine when her hand fell to his cheek. He found it even more irresistible to hold his words, and slowly his lips began to form the shape of her name.

" Ithilwen. "

He felt pressure building up when no answer came. Like small insects thoughts would scurry and creep inside his mind.

Had he gone mad during his stay?

Was the girl in front of him just another illusion, created by his wishfull thinking?

He began to tremble and lowered his head once more. He had felt the world as it changed, but could not flee. The Red Lyrium had seen to that. No longer would he be able to escape to the calming embrace of the fade and it's residents, and no longer could he use his magic like before. He sneered and forced the hand on his cheek away.

" Begone, spirit. I will not let you taunt me more then you already have. "

She twitched, but lowered her hands and caught his jaw again, lifting his head up.

" Hahren. "

His eyes widened, then relief began to spread across his features. She smiled back, despite the pain from the mark and the aura that surrounded Solas. He then stared down at her bloody and ripped tunic and then her face in astonishment. A pained hiss then left his throat. The sudden movement had scafed his arms, that was cuffed to walls. Concerned she looked him deep in the eyes.

" How are you feeling? "

Solas let out another pained breath. " I am dying, but no matter. "

She bit her lower lip as the next thought grew in her mind. She felt even more cold and undeserving of his friendship because she knew that him dying here did not matter.

Not in this time.

If she turned back, none of this would ever take place, and he would be safe. She turned to the side and began to focus on the lock. His hand came loose and he looked at her as she determined went to the other lock.

" But where were you? Why did you wait so long? "

Ithilwen did not manage to answer, for Dorian was already ready with the words.

" The spell Alexius cast displaced us in time. " Solas eyes slowly widened. " We just got here, so to speak. "

" Can you reverse the process? " His eyes went back and fourth as his eager grew. " You should return and obliviate the events of the last year. It may not be to late!"

Ithilwen managed to open the other cuff. Solas slowly dragged his arm out, but fell down in the cold water. She quickly bent down at his side, who as if not wanting to lose sight of her forcefully let his hands catch the fabric of her tunic.

Ithilwen caught a glimps of his fingers. He trembled violently, but otherwise he had not lost as much muscles as the dwarf had. In fact, Solas looked much healthier than the rest of the prisoners they had encountered.

She slowly helped him find the balance and helped him up on his legs. He soon stood tall and proud before her, much taller and broader around the shoulders then her. Like so many things he shared that unique quality with her father as well.

Elves rarely got as tall as humans did, and over all had slimmer torsos and features. Solas, if not for his ears and nose, could easily have been mistaken for a human.

Solas tensed up as he saw himself close to her. Slowly he would let his hand fall back and hold himself against the wall instead. He easily traced the confusion in her face and gave her a grim look back. " I've been exposed to the red lyrium, you would do better then to touch me. "

" I.." She was about to catch his shoulder, but sighed and let her hands fall back. " Understood. "

" So what is the plan? " Solas nodded, then turned to Dorian. " I assume you have one? "

" We do. " Dorian rapidly answered. He then explained how they had gotten there, and his thesis for Solas, who rested his chin in his hand and nodded in agreement. Ithilwen unhooked the stick besides the sword she had carried on her back and handed it over to the other elf.

" Until we find a better one. " Solas grabbed the small stick and gave it a small observation.

" This may not be so bad. " Solas displayed one of his confident smiles and gave the stick a firm swing. The water on the ground made way for the white wood with a strong force and up on the walls.

" Yes, _yes_. " Dorian snorted at the side. " Let's stop doing flashy entrances and start doing flashy exits. " Ithilwen let out a small laugh, took hold of the irritated mage and let his arm land on her shoulder. Solas observed them both as they stumbled through the kneehigh water towards the exit with a puzzled expression. Varric nudged his ribs with his elbow. Solas looked down on the dwarf, still with his brows twitching. Varric grew a wide smirk.

 

" Don't worry so much, Chuckles. He's obviously not swinging that way. "

 

Solas eyes suddenly widend his eyes and began to blush fiercly. That had not been the reason for his worry. 

Ithilwen had been on her edge for months before she disapeared in the great hall more then a year ago. Afraid of her own magic, of other peoples touch. Yet now..

He cleared his throat and avoided the grin stretching across the face on his companion as he followed the others. " I have no interesst in that. Especially not with her. " Varric sighed and trotted alongside his long steps through the cold water. 

" Yeah, sure. And I'm the queen of Antiva. " He placed his hand on Solas arm, pulling the tattered frabric. " You looked like you could jump at her any minuite once you spotted her from behind the bars. "

The elf ignored him and quickend his pace. 

He _had_ been happy to see her again. He began to trace her shape with his eyes and felt a knot forming up in his abdomen.

Those sort of feelings would only complicate everything. It had been no more then attraction. She was a beautiful girl to be sure, if you looked over the Vallaslin that covored most of her body. He felt himself turning even more red.

That was all there was to it.

Attraction.

Nothing else.

" You know what I like about you chuckles? "

Solas turned around, spotting the dwarf as he forced himself through the water holding Bianca over his head, for it now almost reached his chin.  " Your boundless optimism. "

" It's comterfing that whatever qualities I lack you'll invent for me, Varric. " Solas Chuckled and turned forward.

" No, really. " The dwarf laughed. " Why else would an elven apostate help crazed chantry folk closing holes in the sky? "

" When you put it like that, I must concede your point. "

" Come on, Chuckles. I've had a lot of time thinking in my cell. " With a triumphant grin Varric made his way back to the elfs side.

 

" _What_ are you? "

 

Solas looked down at Varric, shocked by the notion. He really wasn't the everyday dwarf you met on the road.

No,

he was more cunning then he even imagined him to be, especially with the baggage he carried with him battling demons of ancient evils.

Especially The Elder One.

Leading him through another of his charades would therefore no longer be possible.

Nor would it be necessary, if time would change its course.

Solas would be lying to himself if he said he was not interested. The offer smelled as sweet as honey, but the risk of coming true, and the consequences, would be bitter. Therefore he only looked down on the dwarf with a toothy grin off his own.

 

" You really don't want to know. "

 

Ithilwen and Dorian decided to return to the room with the three doors. With Solas they might be able to break the barrier. Ithilwen looked over her shoulder and took a short look over the hair he had grown as he spoke with Varric. She gave away a small smile and turned back. It really was dashing, even though the Red of the lyrium would dance over him in small waves. She never would have figured him having this golden color. Solas however would irritately throw it back from time to time as they made their way to the room. He then noticed Ithilwen's blade resting against her back.

 " May I borrow your sword? "

Without an answer she let go of Dorian, turned around and quickly unsheathed it from her back and reached it towards Solas. As soon as the sword left her hand It flew up to his head. Shocked she observed him forcefully cutting off the long golden locks with small pained grunts. The blade's weight made it even harder to focus it's edge right.

One after one a lock of his hair would sway down into the dirty water and get taken away by the small current down the corridor.

" I suppose that's one way to do it. " Varric laughed at the side while scratching his itchy beard. " I would go for a piece of string, though. "

" I lack one of those. " The until recently long golden haired elf responded dryly and handed back the sword to Ithilwen.

 

They entered the room, but now there was more guards waiting for them. Ithilwen silently cursed and threw away a bolt with energy at two of them. Solas took care of the others, while Varric pinned one of the fallen guards with a bolt.

Varric would from time to time laugh mionacilly in the dark as more and more of their enemies fell, one after one. Once it was all over, he let out a small exhausted breath by the wall next to Solas with a wide and pleased grin stuck to his face.

" Messing with us is suicidal. "

 

Ithilwen looked over the guards and found a dry shirt for Solas to wear. She quickly dragged it off his limp corpse and threw it over to him. " There, should be better then your old one, for now. "

" Ma serannas. " Solas sighed. He was breathing hard after the battle, after being contained in their cells they were bound to be less agile then in their own time. Ithilwen scratched her head and looked into her satchel she carried at the side. She cursed the fact that she had said no when being offered lyrium positions. She would remedy that once she got back.

She turned her attention the barrier. Earlier she had concluded being unable to break it. But after sneakily taking glances at Solas who was resting against a wall, then at Dorian who held his wound she would need to come up with another course of action.

Her eyes slowly darted back to the magical shield in front of her. A deep breath escaped her throat.

None other then her would need to be the one to do this, the others were to weak.

 

Solas as well as Dorian felt the dusturb of flow in the room, and looked to the side at the same time.

Transed Solas observed her snowwhite arms as they slowly danced around in the air, gathering her magic like it had been raindrops. Her vallaslin, as well as her eyes glowed vibrantly blue. It oddly enough felt hard to breath, but the oxygen quickly dashed back as Ithilwen with one quick strike punched the fabric of the barrier.

It bounced backwards, then suddenly parted in two as it have been a bubble pierced by a needle.

Dorian whistled in his astonishment from the wall, next to Solas and Varric.

" And here I thought you said you couldn't do it. "

" Sometimes push comes to shove. " Ithilwen laughed as she pulled back a few strands of her hair back behind her right ear. She went back to Dorian and lifted him up to rest him around her shoulders, while Varric dragged Solas forward to the newly opend door.

 

" Now, let's find Ruffles! "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations :
> 
> Durgen’len - Children of the stone. The original Elvish term for the dwarves.  
> Harellan - Trickster, traitor to one's kin.


	19. In Hushed Sorrow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dorian, Solas, Varric and Ithilwen continue trying to find their way back, but encounter some new troubles on the way.

" I could go for some light reading. "

 

They had entered an library, or a public study. At least it seemed like it, it was hard to localize the part of the castle with the rundown walls and floor. Especially without a map.

Dorian had finished both the guards stationed there with a well aimed fireball. He casually placed his staff next to a bookshelf and began to browse the inventory. Most of the volumes had been burned from the fight, but some were still recognizable. He scoffed as he threw book after book behind him. They never reached the floor, for Ithilwen ran around catching them when they flew in the air. She soon stumbled around hissing in her pain with a large pile of books in her arms.

Solas eyes caught her left arm that from time to time would twitch and perked his ears. His brows went deep and his mouth became a thin line.

She had sprained her arm, yet she kept defending them when she was the one who needed to stay intact. He saw Varric wiggle his brows and removed his gaze from her.

He needn't worry about her. She was strong enough to make it on her own. Instead he began to lit the torches on the walls.

" There's mostly newly written propaganda about The Elder One. " Dorian flipped the pages of a smaller book and began to read through the content. " Also journals. " He strutted around the room, reading out loud so the others could could hear.

 _" Alexius keeps asking for patrols of the walls. Waste of time, if you ask me. The Inquisition ground themselves to a pulp against the walls ages ago._ _Ferelden made three attempts to lay siege here before the last life got crushed out of them. Who's left out there to threaten us? The mountain barbarians? But Alexius seems to expect a siege.  Man's gone completely mad. Better to put the men on watch inside the walls. "_

 Ithilwen walked forward, to the middle of the room and placed the books on a table, surrounded by chairs and benches and turned around. Then he really was expecting them. She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. That would make everything even more complicated. Dorian wet his lips as he exited red even louder.

_" More of those blasted rifts open every day. It was better when we still had the people for blood sacrifices. Unbound demons have emptied the castle, village, and surrounding countryside of everyone who's not sleeping in their armor. Now, it's just wild demons everywhere. "_

Dorian closed the book, turned around and rested his back against the shelf. " So far we haven't met any demons, nor any rifts. Let's keep it that way. "

 A scroll resting on a pile of newly written phargaments caught Ithilwen's gaze. She squinted her eyes as she picked it up and red the first line. 

 " A prair to the new god. "

She slowly rolled it up, for the paper had been badly burned by Dorian's fire.  

_" Praise his name, who has risen from the darkness._

_Praise his name, who has striven for the light._

_Praise his name, who has walked the Golden city._

_Praise his name._

 

_The old gods are no more._

_The Maker never was._

_The new god is among is._

 

_Praise his name. "_

" I suppose it's about the _Elder One._ " Dorian grunted with a displeased tone as he stumbled forward and took the scroll in order to have a look at it himself. His nose wrinkled up in his disgust, and so he summoned fire in his hand and dipped the scroll in it. He then tossed the burning paper into the empty fireplace.

" I for one will not praise his name. "

" But, the golden city? " Ithilwen furrowed her brows and rested her hand on her chin. " According to the chantry the very first to enter it was.. "

" The one's that caused the first Blight. " Varric interrupted. He rested against the fireplace with a low head.

 

Ithilwen was about to walk over to him when she heard the sound of sword unsheathing. 

 

She could hear men in the room next to theirs. She turned back, ran up to Dorian and grabbed his coat while whispering. " There's guards in the other room! "

Dorian nodded and let his arm flow over her shoulder.

By now he had learned to trust whatever instincts she had. The rest followed as they opened one of the many doors out of the library.

 

" What about Amell? "

 

Varric as well as Solas turned in union when the question came. 

That thought had been on her mind ever since they first spotted Varric in his cell.

Aaron had been badly injured already when they left. Despite her need to stay on her toes she could not help herself from falling back in her memories.

And why did he carry the mark of tranquallity on his forhead?

He seemed to have his feelings and magic still intact.

How was it even possible?

Solas observed from the side, at Ithilwen who nervously walked with Dorian around her shoulders. 

Ithilwen wet her lips and looked to the side once more, for no answer had been given. " I mean, you still li-- "

" He is no longer alive. "

Ithilwen squeesed together her eyes and let out a small breath she had been holding. She was a fool to think otherwise.

" How did it happen? "

Solas let the white stick fall as he looked to the side. " If we want this madness to end, we will need to focus on Alerxius. "

Varric grunted at the side. " Well, the gang's all back together. What could possibly go wrong? "

Ithilwen swallowed and lowered her eyes.

She knew Solas for his protective nature. Amell clearly had been tortured in front of their eyes. She slowly clencshed her fist so hard that the knuckles turned white.

Just one of the many crimes that sadistic magister had commited during their absence.

Solas and Varric almost jumped as they heard the large bang and stared back. The wall had cracked and sunked in.

She did not care about their reactions. Meerly scoffed and walked forward.

They went swiftly forward. Ithilwen kept Dorian close to her, while Solas and Varric scouted ahead. They did not shy from killing this time, and Ithilwen rejoiced in it.

She needed to pay back the year of agony she had cost her companions, and taking it out on the patroling guards were more then sufficiant. Dorian did not even need to try to cast a fireball. Everytime an enemy sneaked up behind them ithilwen threw them away with her wind, cracking their skulls at the walls.

Solas turned back when he heard a growl. As he looked back he spotted her eye as it would blink green more and more, and a most vishious smile crept up in the corner of her mouth.

 

It all chaged for the worse when they entered a dark room, only lit up by a fireplace at the other end. Solas twitched his nose as his eyes reached the man standing over the embers.

The smell was unforgetteble.

All to late he noticed the fire he had summoned and held in his hand.

With horror he yelled as the man slowly turned around, aflame with a joyfull expression nailed to his face.

 

Contentment.

 

His red shoulder long hair went first. Then his smile would slowly melt untill you could make out the skulls teeth and the empty eye sockets.

Desperately Solas threw his frost forward, trying to stop his actions.

But it was already to late.

The skeleton rose its hands, sharing it's delight as a last sigh left his fleshless lips until it fell backwards and broke apart into dust.

" Connor.. " Ithilwen whispered as Solas slowly stumbled and fell on his knees before the pile of ash that had been the arls son. Shuddering he let his hand hover over the still warm powder on the floor.

" It was an act of courage. He knew there was no other way to resist. " Dorian sighed far behind.

Solas closed his hand around his eyes. " What a waste. "

Numb Ithilwen slowly walked out the room without the others. 

She couldn't breathe.

Her hand as well as her eyes stinged horribly. It felt like her heart cramped inside her chest.

She lowered her head between her hands, but almost instantly went back up when she heard a pained scream echo in the corridor.

 

 _Leiliana_.

 

Solas quickly regained his thoughts when he felt her energy bolster and went back at his feet, running out from the room. He spotted her as she ran through the corridor and went after.

Lost in anger Ithilwen sprinted forward. She perked her ears as she heard a loud slap echo in the large corridor lit up by red lyrium formations in the sealing. She let out a snarl and threw open a door from where the sound had escaped.

 

" You will break! "

 

A woman in the same kind of garb that had been worn by their spymaster rested against the wall. A man strotted back and forth in front of her while threateningly pose a knife at her throat.

" I will die first.. "

The woman's skin had decayed, like rotting flesh, but her eyes still glowed as blue as ever. Once she caught the glimpse of the enraged Herald as she threw open the door she stiffened up, causing the torturer in front of her turn around.

The woman smiled wickedly and took a sharp breath.

"--Or you will! " She threw her legs around the man's shoulders, breaking the guards neck. She stared at Ithilwen as she approached. " You're alive."

Shocked Dorian, as well as Varric and Solas stared as Ithilwen quickly took hold of the woman's cuffs around her wrists and pulled them off the chains in the sealing, one at a time.

She hissed and observed her wrists as she fell down to the ground, but quickly rose back up. Ithilwen silently walked back and forth as she inspected Leliana's new state. She had smelled this before.

Rot.

The Blight.

Dorian placed himself at her side, helping the spymaster as she stretched out her arms.

" Well, that was impressive. "

Leliana returned his joke with furrowed brows. " Anger is stronger then any pain. " She then tilted her head back to Ithilwen and spoke as she let out a deep frustrated breath. " Do you have weapons? " She nodded silently in response, still walking at the place.

" Good. " Leliana trotted over to the wall, pulling down a bow with strange runes around it and held it close to her chest. It looks awfully familiar to the symbols Amell and Connor had on their staffs.

Leliana walked towards the door. " The Magister's probably in his chambers. "

Uneasy Dorian walked after her. " You.. Aren't curious how we got here? "

" No. "

Dorian, despite her clear uninterested answer continued. " Alexius sent us into the future. This, his victory, his Elder One. It was never ment to be. "

Leliana scoffed.

" And mages always wonder why people fear them. No one should have this power. "

" It's dangerous and unpredictable. " He tilted his head to the side, looked at Ithilwen glowing green eye and hand. " Before the breach, nothing we did--"

" Enough! "

She turned around with cold eyes, staring back at Dorian who looked like he was about to shrink through the floor. " This is all pretend to you. Some future you hope will never exist. " She took one long step forward and began to poke his chest, making him walk backwards. " I suffered. The whole world, suffered. This. Is. Real. " Leliana scoffed, turned and dashed through the door opening. The others followed. Dorian, despite his injuries ran up to Leliana at her side as they quickly walked through the long corridor.

" What happend when we were away? "  

" Stop Talking. "

Dorian persisted. " I'm just asking for information. "

Leliana stopped, turned to the side and lifted her finger in a threatening pose. " No. You're just filling the silence. " She turned back and resumed her walk. " Nothing happend that you want to hear. "

" Then, let me just ask one more thing.. " 

Leliana turned her head a bit to the side.

" What became of Felix? Do you know? "

 

Ithilwen felt a stab in her chest as she saw the insecurity of her companion.

 

Alexius had been his mentor, a friend. Dorian had lost him in both the future and past.

Leliana did not care. She only spat on the ground and kept walking.

" Yes, I know what happend. " 

Dorian furrowed his brows even deeper. " And.. You're not going to tell me? "

Ithilwen felt the knife slowly turn.

He hid it well, but underneath his shell he had been deeply hurt.

She sneakely observed his shape and looks.

Maybe he even had loved Felix, once.

Maybe he still does.

Leliana sneered back. " You will find out soon enough. "

She then took a turn to the left, through a door. Solas looked to the side.

" Do you hear that? "

Everyone stopped.

The chant of light.

Then, the sound of someone getting hit.

 

" Shut up,  _templar!_ "

 

He smiled as he rose his head back up. Hit otherwise golden hair and honey colored eyes glimmered red because of the Red Lyrium growing out of his chest and arm. The mage gave him another lavette, coloring his pale skin redder.

With every word he would rebel the orders given by the new self proclaimed god. There was little to do in this new age, this new kingdom. He opened his mouth and formed the words anew.

" Maker, my enemies are abundant. Many are those who rise up against me. But my faith sustains me; I shall not fear the legion, Should they set themselves against me."

Another strike flew over his face. He smiled even wider. The pain did not stop him from his rhythm. He rejoiced when the strikes came, for they only made him more determined.

Had they wanted him dead they would have killed him long ago.

Even if the world was lost he needed to shout, cry, yell. He would through his defiance crush his torturers confidence to dust.

He had seen many of his comrades fall these last couple of months. But not before shouting encouraging lines to the others. It had strengthen his resolve, his will. He proudly kept repeating his chant, infuriating the mages in front of him.

His rebellious attitude quickly transformed when he caught a glimpse of a green eye with a sharp pupil as it tore open the leader in two with her sword.

Anger filled him as she got burned by the enemies fire. Like a lion he growled as he rose from his knees. He closed in on the mage clostest to him and punched him to the ground, piercing him with the sharp tip of his right arm. The man screamed as he slowly began to melt under him.

But then pain went through him.

His eyes ventured down.

A knife was sticking through his chest.

It went out, then pierced him once more.

And again.

The dagger pierced him several times more before he managed to throw the mage off. The blood flooded his back, but the only thing he felt was the desire to defend his herold.

 

" No! "

 

He looked up and saw her as she dashed forward. He reached out his hand, feeling his vision blur out. The only thing visible was the white of her hair, the blue of her vallaslin, and the green of her eye.

He felt himself falling, but then caught in her warmth. He opened his eyes and found a new pair above him. The corners of his mouth wrinkled up when he felt her hand in his hair.

" So you are not some dream. " He whispered with a husky and strained voice as her fingers trailed down his jaw.

" Cullen. "

He smiled even brighter, showing his red theeth.

How he had longed to hear her voice. The sensation sent small shivers down his spine that breath by breath began to fade. 

With a shaky breath he forced himself to answer. " You're very observant, elf. "

She let out a sharp breath, then a small giggle. " You finally noticed? "

" I agree, it took me some time. " He laughed and began to cough. She gently wiped away the blood that had escaped his throat from his lips. He caught her hand and held it tightly as he drew pained breaths. " But, there never really was any time to talk about it. "

Her eyes sealed together as her head went closer to his. " Ir abelas, Cullen.. I should have.. "

" No. " He squeezed her hand. " None of us were at fault. Besides, there is little to do about it now. " He nudged her with his forehead, causing her to look at him. He gazed into the blue of her eye. " At least.. " He let go of her hand, stretched out his and caught her cheek. " I got to see you, one last time. "

She closed her hands around his jaw. He could see her lips moving, but heard nothing. He felt the world dim out, sounds, smell and touch became fuzzy.

_This is it, huh?_

He forcefully blinked his eyes, trying to get some clarity, but it only became darker.

He remembered have wanted this earlier, years ago.

Yet, now life seemed so short.

For the first time in in a decade he felt himself wanting more.

He chuckled at the irony.

One last breath escaped his throat, before he lowered his head with a pleased smile.

 

Numb she gazed down at his face as the golden light in his eyes slowly lost their focus and stared out in the open.

 

Dorian hesitantly walked forward to Ithilwen on the ground. 

 

He observed the commander as his still warm corpse rested in her lap. His whole right arm has been crystallized by the Red Lyrium, as well as most of his chest and neck. His blonde hair had been tangled with hers, and a beard covered most of his jaw, with the exception of a small line across his right side of his face.

The view of the pointy ribs as well as hipbone hurt the eyes. He must have been starved the whole time.

He sighed at her side. " There's nothing you could have done. "

Ithilwen remained quiet at the ground. She did not even aim to move. He knelt at her side, putting his hand at her back. " This is not real. "

Dorian suddenly flew over at his back. With pained groans he lifted himself up at his elbows and stared back at Ithilwen as she slowly rose up from the ground. The air pulsated around her and made it harder to breathe.

" Alexius. "

She slowly turned around with a low growl. Dorian felt the hair in his neck rise as she walked towards him. He swallowed back a big lump as he gazed back at her unforgivable green eye with the sharp pupil.

She continued upwards along the stairs through the red Cave. Red Lyrium grew out off the walls and sealing, soon the floor as well. The path had mostly been cleared, for they spotted several pickaxes alongside the corridor.

A tug in her whole arm made her fall to her knees. Bloodshot her eyes went up in the air. The pain was even more unimaginable than ever before. Solas instantly knelt at her side. His eyes doubled in scope as he saw her tremble.

" Dal'en! "

She never managed to answer before the door flew open and a terror demon entered the hall. Ithilwen, despite the pain pushed Solas away and threw a bolt of wind against the monster, who flew back. Another demon attacked and slashed for her ankles, but Leliana nailed it to the floor with an arrow. Ithilwen aimed at the monster with her claw, cutting it in half as it began to fade. She followed the green dust through the door, but stopped once she saw the sky.

 

If one breach had been bad, imagine millions of them dotting the sky between the clouds. The otherwise blue heaven glowed green, and giant pieces of the earth hovered in the air. Green lightning echoed around in the green, announcing it's irritation.

Varric gasped from the horror next to Solas. " The breach is.. "

" Everywhere.. " Dorian finished. He looked to the side and took hold of Ithilwen's shoulder. " There! You need to close that! "

She looked at rift that gave birth to demon after demon. She lowered her eyes on her hands while a wicked smile slowly crossed her lips. Her left glowed green, outshining the blue on her right.

 

 _Time to release the_ _**true** _ _hell._

 

They began to run up the stairs in the garden they had entered. Crushed fountains as well as broken potts and burned trees covered most of the terrain, making the stairs the only possible way forward. Dorian gasped at Ithilwen side.

" How much damage did Alexius spell do? "

Leliana kept her eyes straight forward, unsheathing her bow from her back. " Rifts tore apart all of Southern Thedas, starting here. " She eyed Ithilwen from the side. " But wether that's his doing or the Breach.. Who can say? "

" Look out! " 

Suddenly a green bolt escaped one of the many breaches in the sky and landed just in front of them, causing a blur. Dorian shook his head and coughed, screaming for the others, but couldn't make out any answer. He clenched his teeth as he saw a rage demon approach.

The Tevinter had a hard time fighting off the monsters in his injured state. Not only that, most of them were demons of rage, and was therefore made out of fire. Just as he was about to get caught by one of their claws Solas stood there, repelling the attack with a wave of his stick. He then waved his staff in front of him, summoning water that froze up in to a proud wall. He  turned around, caught Dorian's hand and pulled him up. 

" Where's Ithilwen?"  Dorian gasped.

" She separated us from the blast with her magic. The others are up there! " Solas pointed up at the stairs. Leliana and Varric stood ready with their bows. He then turned back to Dorian.

" I have an idéa. Summon your spell. "

Dorian quickly nodded and called for fire that he held in his hand. Solas let his hand hover over it, making it glow purple. Dorian smirked as he understood what he had conjured in his golden head.

The demon of Rage from before slashed the wall to bits, attacking Solas who hit it with his staff, forcing it back.

" Now! "

Dorian nodded towards the elf and threw the ball that doubled in scope as soon as it left his hand. The monster chuckled wickedly as he absorbed the fire and continued forward, but before it reached them Solas casually snapped with his fingers and calmly observed as the demon began to scream. It's body slowly began to glow pink, then blue. His already loose shape began to melt down and desperately tried to hold on to the ground, but was soon swallowed by the rift.

" Ingenious! " Dorian gasped at his side. " Let's do that again! "

Suddenly a deep and evil laugh echoed in the garden. They both looked to the side and saw a pride demon with it's many eyes staring at Ithilwen high atop one of the floating small islands, holding her sword high up in the sky

Horrified Solas stared at her blade when the monster began to summon green lightening in his hands.

" Dal'en! Don't be foolish! "

Solas threw himself forward with a fade step up at the small island. She still held her sword high, but tilted her head a bit to the side. Solas stared into the green of her left eye, then the blinking in her right. She raised her right hand and held her palm on his chest, when he suddenly felt himself falling.

He had been taken back from the raw pressure of her wind. Horrified and still flying through the air he stared up as a green flash created by the monster took hold of the tip of her blade and ventured down alongside her arm and body. He landed at the other side of the garden but quickly looked over at the giant dust cloud that has erupted from the ground around her. He could not feel her mana, nor her scent because off the energies around and gasped in his agony as nothing seemed to happen.

 

_She is tranforming, compleatly this time._

 

He looked up at the Breach that had spread across the whole sky.

 

_What have I done.._

 

Dorian forced himself to Solas side on the ground. The sky then began to rumble even more fiercely and the wind began to flow around them with even greater speed.

Solas looked up and saw a burst of green energy as it pushed down the dust from the island she had stood on. A sword flashing green then became visible, then the shape of a woman.

She, as well as both of her eyes glowed brightly green. Confident she threw a wave of energy with her sword against the Pride Demon slowly walking to her. The monster began to glow brightly green and fell to it's knees. She sent another wave with her sword, cutting him wide open as it slowly turned into green dust and got swallowed by the rift. As soon it got swallowed she stretched out her marked hand and and pulled it back, sealing the rift as it screamed in protest.

She then looked down at Solas and Dorian at the ground with a sneer of her own, took a step, and fell.

The ground shook once more as she landed. The dust that had surrounded her slowly parted and she stepped out. Every footstep left heavy and deep marks in the ground. 

For the first time Solas and Dorian could trace the shape of energy around her.

 

A dim green light, shaped like ears around her head, as well as claws around her hands and feet, with a long green tail dashing in the wind behind her.

 

Solas stared as she slowly made her way to the other side of the garden. She still held her sword, but instead of sheathing it she dragged it behind her, glowing equally as green as the fade itself. The hilt as well some part of the edge had melted from the raw irritation by the marks energy. He quickly turned to Dorian.

" The mark is transforming her, I do not know into what, but she loses all control over herself. " He looked back over the shoulder and observed Ithilwen as she in her anger fell down on her knees, lowering her head in her hands, then back to Dorian.

" It was a big problem with just one Breach. We've only seen a fraction of her new power just now. I fear the magic she has received enhances whatever emotions may lay dormant. "

Dorian nodded in agreement. " Seeing Connor and Cullen die has put her out of balance. We will need to tread carefully not to loose her to insanity as well. "

Both jumped as they heard her force up a door in the wall. They exchanged looks and followed suit together with Varric and Leliana.

Solas took one last look at the marks after her feet in the ground before entering the newly opened tunnel in the wall 

 

They looked awfully close to the shape of a wolf's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit later release on this chapter, but it's longer in return. Thanks for reading. ^^
> 
> Translations :  
> Dal'en - child


	20. Dareth Shiral

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Close to what they once knew they keep fighting themself forward to their goal.

Unlike before they did not scatter around, looking for the path. This time Ithilwen crushed the walls one after one, all in the same direction.

 

Up, up, up up the stairs they went, until they reached a tunnel.

 

Dorian, despite his anxiety and hurting ribs tried to keep up with her speed, but had to dodge several times because of the rocks flying around when she slashed a wall with her bare hands.

 _Or claws,_ Dorian noted in his mind. His eyes squinted as he saw the green energy around her.

When she had "transformed" in the courtyard neither Varric or Leliana seemed surprised. They had just furrowed her brows and followed.

He did not want to claim knowing her after only this trip, but so far every tale he had heard as a child about the dalish seemed remarkably true.

They were nothing more than savages, blind to their own desires and feelings. 

Yet he felt himself falling for her. Her caring nature and devotion for him and those around her was something unusual, especially from an elf.

She ran through the next wall, and was instantly covered by dust that escaped the roof as well as floor.

If solas was right in his thesis, that she was controlled by the mark against her own will, she could be saved. His eyes squinted yet again, for he could spot light in the new hole she had created. 

A smile of relief crept up as he began to recognize his surroundings and pointed towards the the end of the giant hall they had entered.

 

" There! If we go through that we'll return to the great hall where we got displaced! "

Varric groaned as soon as he saw the size of the doors. " Sod it! How in the blazes are we going to get through that? "

" This was not here before.." Dorian took another small step, observing the shape of the great and tall gate, carved out of stone. " How much must he have spent to move this here? "

Ithilwen walked over and slowly stretched out her hand towards the giant gate, that began to glow ominously green.

Before Dorian had managed to snatch her away a great blast threw her back with a mighty force. Numb her companions gasped as she instantly flew away and crashed into the wall in the other side of the room.

Dorian gasped anew as he saw the huge cracks in the wall around her, but she herself seemed to be without any scratch. Solas desperately and filled with horror ran to her side of the chamber and knelt at her side, taking hold of her glowing arm.

" The mark is.. " He turned to Dorian as soon as he had caught up with the elves, white as a ghost. " It's spreading. Just like it did when she walked out of the fade. "

Dorian furrowed his brows deep as he saw the green cracks in her skin covering most of her face and arms. Whatever spirit he had earlier insantly dampered down, for the marks on her body slowly crept to the middle of her chest and would glow through the thin fabric of her tattered and burned tunic.

" If we don't get her back before it reaches her heart.. " Solas shook his head and squeezed her arm. Dorian stood puzzled at the side, uncertain how to handle his emotions.

She really was dying, then.

The older elf lowered his golden head and tried to settle his thick and rugged voice. " We need to.. "

" Hamin, Solas. "

They all sighed when they heard her usual calm and velvet smooth tune escape her throat.

She went up on her lower arms and rubbed the back of her head that had become red. Dorian, with great interest observed how the older elf instantly swinging his head back up with relief looming over his face.

Solas anxiously awaited for her to open her eyes. They still glowed green, but not as vibrant as before.

She had calmed down, for the moment.

Dorian reached out his hand and felt himself tremble when he felt the heat around her, but continued to stretch out his arm in order to pull her up. He got stopped once he felt how heavy she was. He stared down with widened eyes at the ground. Even the floorboard had made way from the aura. Instead she snatched back her arm and supported herself against the wall behind her, stumbled a few steps, but soon found her balance and walked passed the shocked crowd back to the door that once more began to glow.

Solas ran after, stopping her from reaching the door in another attempt.

He then studied the door from the side. " Whatever magic that is inscribed in the door reacts negatively with the mark. " He turned to the side, eying Ithilwen's hand. " You will not be able to open it. "

" I think I have a clue. " Dorian sighed, walked up to the gate and let his staff rest against the wall. " Unlike the last barrier we wont be able to push through. This door requires a key. "

Varric muttered at his side side. " What kind of key? " 

Leliana crossed her arms and rested her back against the wall next to the door. " I overheard that he never goes out from there, not even to eat. They bring food to him. One of the servants must have it. "

Suddenly Ithilwen turned around, holding her ears yelling in her pain. The rest of the group turned around from the surprise. Dorian twitched his eyebrows, but soon discovered whatever had caused her anxiety for himself.

A horn echoed in the hall, and the sound of men yelling.

Leliana turned around, gazing at the giant hole Ithilwen had made once she walked inside. " They have found out were here! "

" Then there's no time! " Dorian desperately looked to his side. There was tons of doors, but they lacked the time to search the whole castle. He clenched his teeth as he stared down in the floor.

So close, yet so far.

 

Whatever would they do now?

 

Ithilwen blinked and shook her head, took several sharp breaths and looked back at the door. A small rune had been inscribed in the center. She squinted her eyes, but they flared up once she recognised the symbols. " I have an idéa, but it will be dangerous. "

Varric walked over to her. " What is it? "

" These doors were common in the old Elvhenan, mostly in sacred places, to guard something. " Ithilwen gasped as she felt the mark flare again. Solas stood with his brows deeply furrowed at her side.

" You will usually  need a few items that you combine, like a crystal or an amulet in order to enter. Sometimes you need to perform a ritual. "

" Then that's the key, right? " Varric looked over to Dorian. " Then all we need to do is-- "

 

" There's another way in. "

 

Solas perked his ears and looked back at Ithilwen with great interest. He if anyone had foremost experience handling anything from their old empire. He had never heard about anyone ever opening these kinds of doors differently.

Ithilwen looked down on her left hand, as it sparkled green. " We would need to use the mark in order to blow it out. "

" Are you crazy? " Dorian yelled and almost took hold the collar in her tunic. " You barely touched the thing with your little finger, and it sent you flying to the other side of the hall, longer if it had been able. What do you imagine it would do if it came in contact even longer? "

She grinned back. " Not if we separate the blast from the rest of the room. " She turned to Solas. " You would have to throw a barrier together with Dorian. "

" Surely it cannot be that simple! " Leliana irriteted at her side yelled.

" That's just the thing. " Ithilwen pointed at the doors runes. " Elven magic is all about it's simplicity. To many details would only corrupt the intention. These doors originated in the old Empire. Tevinter since its occupation have learned a great deal. But, the magic may be different, since many years have passed. Moving the gate from it's original location may have disrupted whatever magic it held. There are bound to be flaws. " She looked down on her hand, glowing green.

" With the mark I can overpower the magic and blow it up. "

Dorian rolled his eyes and took a turn to the side. 

Leliana stomped the floor with her foot. " You cannot know that for sure! "

" What choice do we have? " Varric grunted at the side. " Either we get captured again, or we bash this thing. "

Solas nodded in agreement next to the dwarf. " I say that we go with her plan. "

" But what about you? " Leliana asked as she placed her hand on Ithilwen shoulder. " You will be trapped with it. "

" Don't worry. " Ithilwen said with her blinking green eyes. She then looked down on her hand. " I will make it. "

" Oh, how I long back to my chair.. " Dorian sighed and shook his head. " This is crazy, but I guess we will get along with it. " He heard as the sounds of yelling men got closer. " Preferably sooner rather then later. "

 

Ithilwen nodded and placed herself in front of the tall and broad door, with Dorian a few feet at her right and Solas at her left. Varric and Leliana stood behind them, defending them from any enemies that could appear at any second

" Here I go! " Ithilwen yelled. She placed her left hand on the lock of the door and instantly felt herself getting pushed away. The green magic flared violently around the room.

" I will go first! " Dorian yelled, for the sound of the mark echoed loudly. He, despite the anguish of the motion circulated his staff up in the air and threw a hot, red shield with a six foot radius around her. Solas then waved his stick over his head and down at the ground, like a wave his mana flowed over Dorian's like flying river. The water like magic began to bubble because of the heat. Water and fire was tough to combine, especially when it came to magic, but despite both of the men's egos they managed to do it perfectly.

The barrier soon stood proud, symbolising the true beauty of magic. Varric let out a small whistle in his astonishment.

Ithilwen had a hard time to stand her ground. She was constantly pushed away from the door. The magic planted there had a lot of restraint, but it was just like forcing a lock. With enough force and a right angle you could trick it to open. The already damaged fabric burned away more and more from every push with energy. She bit her lower lip hard in order to keep the scream low. The green lightening burned even worse then she had imagined it would. Energy began to build up in between the door and her hand and she instantly planted her right hand on her arm and forced it up.

_I will not faint._

_I will not fail._

The bolt radius began to grow wider and wider. Soon it swallowed her hand, then her upper torso. This time she could not hold back a pained cry as she felt her muscles getting ripped to shreds inside the blast. The door suddenly flew open as the bolt shrinked, then sent out a shockwave, shattering the stone walls as well the floor, making huge cracks.

The barriers melted away when there no longer was anything to hold on to.

The victorious smile that had cladded Dorian's face now changed to horror, as he saw the glowing green and steamy body on the ground. He flew over to her side, but she quickly went up, stumbling forward with a heavy breaths, ignoring the helping hand he was offering.

 

" Look at what you have done! " She screamed to a man standing by a great fireplace. " All this suffering, pain! And for what? "

 

The man still stood turned towards the fire. Dorian had to listen closely, for he would whipsper so low that even the mice would have trouble hearing.

" For my country, for my son. " The man in the crimson colored garb took a deep sigh. " But it means nothing now. " He then tilted his head a bit to the side, addressing the green, blue and red elf standing lover then him on the floor.

" I know you would appear again, not that it would be now, but I knew I hadn't destroyed you. " He lowered himself on his lower arms, whispering even more quietly.

" My final failiure. "

Dorian furrowed his brows and stumbled to Ithilwen's side.

" Was it worth it? " He lifted his hand, gesturing to the damaged walls and the white bones, pieces of every usurper that had been slain by his old mentor that covered most of the ground. " Everything you did to the world, yourself? "

The man in red only scoffed back. " It does not matter now. All we can do is wait for the end. "

Ithilwen rushed forward, grabbing him by the shoulder, turning the broken man around.

Dorian had a hard time not to focus his eyes on the man in the all to large and unfitting robes. Alexius was but a shell of what he once had been, for his eyes had lost it's confident light and his cheeks had sunken in.

" It does matter! We will undo this! "

The older man forced himself away from her grasp. " How many times have I tried? " He slowly began to shake his head. " The past cannot be undone. " He looked up and walked over to the window next to the fireplace. " All that I fought for, all that I betrayed. What have I wrought? " His voice took a darker and angrier tone as his eyes too trailed back to the floor. " Ruin and death! There is nothing else! " He took hold of his head, as if he had a strong headache and began to shake it as his voice thick with fear and anguish whispered. " The Elder One comes for me.. " He then looked back at Ithilwen, who still stood close, and shakely pointed at her with one of his thin and pale fingers.

" He's coming for _you_. "

Ithilwen perked her ears when she heard the swing of a blade and looked to her side.

A young man, no more then perhaps thirty winters, pale and empty with yellow Venatori garbs was held by the spymaster. The boy drooled and stared out in the open, and just like he did not seem to react to the world around him he failed to notice the dagger close to his throat.

Dorian, almost speechless took one long look over his childhood friend with fiery eyes.

" Maker's breath, Alexius! What have you done? Just look at him! "

The magister now had something else in his eyes.

Fear.

It was the first time the group had ever seen it. Ithilwen felt sick, not only for the state he had forced his only child into, but at what the man had become. Alexius took hold of his old apprentices hands with pleading eyes.

" He would have died, Dorian! I _saved_ him! " He looked back at Leliana, who held the boy close to her. " Please, don't hurt my son! I will do anything you ask! "

Ithilwen took one slow step forward " Let him go. Felix is innocent. "

Leliana stared back and forth between Alexis and Ithilwen with red glowing eyes.

" No one is innocent. "

She drew her blade, and crimson began to color the honeycolored garb the drooling boy had worn. Ithilwen, nailed to the floor observed as the head slowly and clumsy rolled down the small steps and over to Alexius feet. It rocked from side to side, until it settled and began to color the fathers boots with the small red pond that errupted from the throat.

Ithilwen turned around, only to be greeted by the father's staff.

 

 

" He wanted to die, didn't he? " Dorian said with a thick voice besides Alexius broken and ripped corpse. Despite the torture the body just had been through his face held a pleased expression, as if he finally had found peace. Dorian squeezed his eyes shut, shook his head with a thick sob and hit his hand in the ground.

" All those lives he told himself.. The justification. " He looked to the side, where a headless body bathed in a pool of his own blood. " He lost Felix long ago. He didn't even notice. Oh, Alexius. " He then rosed up from the ground and looked at Ithilwen. She lifted her hand and placed a small stone she had taken from from the Magister's body in Dorian's.

" This Alexius was too far gone. We can still save him, back in our own time. "

Dorian stared at her, then down at the bodies on the ground. " I suppose that's true. " He opend his palm and oberved the gem that he had recieved. " This is the same amulet he used before.. I think it might be the same we created back in Minrathous. " He sighed. " That is a relief. " He then looked over Ithilwen, and the others.

" Give me an hour. I will count the spell he used, and I might be able to reopen the rift. "

" An hour? " Leliana dashed forward. " They are looking for us as we speak! It's impossible! " She looked around as she listened to the horns. " You must go now! "

Suddenly the whole hall began to shake, as they all heard something big land on the roof with a unnerving roar. Stones as well as dust left the sealing, and the floor began to crack even more. Leliana's eyes widened.

" The Elder One! "

" You cannot stay here! " Varric yelled. Solas ran over to Ithilwen with panic in his eyes. " We will hold the outer door! " When they get passed us, it will be your turn."

Ithilwen stared back at Solas with her green eyes. " There has to be another way! "

" You and I know that we don't matter! " Solas took hold of her arms.

" Look at us, " Leliana whispered at their side. " We are already dead. The only way we live, if this day never comes. "

Varric patted her on the back, causing her to turn tot the side. " Hey, Silver. It was a nice run. " He as well as Leliana and Solas began walking to the door.

" Cast your spell. " Leliana cried back. " You will have as much time as I have arrows. " Leliana began to pull the doors, but just before it closed Solas looked back at Ithilwen. She stared back with her hands closed around her necklase.

" Tel'abelas, dal'en! Emma, na falon, eth'melava! "

She stared at Solas by the dooropening. The light seemed to fade out from behind the gate, and she would let him go there.

She had too.

Her voice whispered as she clenched around the small black tooth around her throat.

" Dareth Shiral, father of wolves. "

He smiled brightly back. " Dareth Shiral, daughter of moon." 

 

 

" Though darkness closes, I am shielded by flame. "

 

Leliana shot her first arrow, attempting to finish the terrordemon who held Solas around his throat. It took several before it in it's last attempt to hurt Leliana threw him against her, but she moved just in time. He coughed up blood just as he landed, next to the spymaster, who shot arrow after arrow.

" Andraste guide me. Maker, take me to your side. "

Suddenly she got peirced by one herself, stumbled backwards, but managed to get up again. Solas did as well, but with a broken arm. He despite his injuries threw a wave with water over the men who easily dispelled his magic. An arrow hit him in the chest. Ithilwen reached out her hand in an desperate attempt to take him with her, but Dorian grasped her shoulder and held her close to him.

" You move, and we all die! "

Two men closed in on Leliana, but she fought them off and rolled over one of their backs, breaking their necks from behind, before moving on to the gathering unit of men outside.

The portal grew wider. For a split second she could smell the old keep, without the lyrium. It was almost ready. But once she heard the sound of a sword she turned around.

Two of the venatori had taken hold of Solas and Leliana. Leliana was held around her throat, but then slashed to the ground by the terrordemon who slowly turned around with a pleased smile glued to it's lipless mouth. The tip of a red blade was slowly growing out from Solas chest. His eyes fixed in hers as blood began to drip from his nose and mouth. He smiled to her as the light began to fade from his eyes.

 

She never saw him fall to the ground, before she and Dorian got cloaked from a green light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update, I've been very busy going away on a trip.
> 
> About her blasting out the door: I wrote this chapter some time ago, and since my style of writing closes in on what happends I felt like the search of the crystal peices really was dragging all out. It just did not work with my setting. Changing the story can be dangerous, but I felt it turned out better this way, even if it seems like there is no end to her power.
> 
> Tel'abelas, dal'en! Emma, na falon, eth'melava! - I'm not sorry, child. I, your friend(s), (are) safe (in the) past.  
> Hamin - Calm  
> Dareth shiral - safe journey


	21. The abuse of a shepard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some hidden facts about the Lord Seeker is about to be revealed.

The people of Redcliffe village slowly parted ways as they gazed upon their saviour ride on his white steed together with a small unit of thirty men. Most of the woman and children began to laugh and throw flowers as they passed, while others grinned and trembled in anticipation as the man on the white horse waved to his crowd.

The warmth from the reception brought him a comfort and joy, but once he looked to the side he felt like a cold breeze had ventured over his neck.

It was not quite the same as when she had saved the village over ten years ago.

He furrowed his brows deeper as he heard them call out her and his name.

It certanily was not the same.

He turned to the side, and despite the soaring delight from the people the man besides him did not seem relieved. His thoughts went back to the task at hand.

He had not gotten a report since he left Denerim, and it made him worried.

His friend would send a raven at least every third day. He knew his old traveling companion's men would invade, but not when, or how. Though he had some thoughts on it.

The revelation of his foster brother's whereabout had also come to light, and the anxiety over him had only doubled when he heard of the magisters arrival. He would give the boy quite a scold once he returned to the capital.

To his surprise two soldiers with the Inquisition flag stood ready at the small stone bridge outside the keep, together with one of the farmers. They quickly recognized him and raised their arms in a salute. The farmer that was about his twenties, blonde with blue eyes. Despite his rather simple attire he carried a green blade at his side.

" Your majesty. " The boy bowed deeply, and looked up at the king with a bright smile. " The Inquisition has been successful in taking over the castle. They await you in the great hall. "

The arl scratched his head in confusion next to the king." Bevin, when did they manage to do that? "

The man on the white horse twitched just a little and looked back on the boy and smiled. He thought the boy had looked familiar.

" Just this hour, my lord. " Bevin replied. " The Inquisition was led by the Herald of Andraste herself! "

The king sighed and looked tired to his uncle. " All is well, I suppose, but I will need to have a word with the mage that sold you out first. "

" It is unfortunate, I agree. Especially since you have done so much trying to protect them. " The arl let out a heavy breath and looked through the village. The people seemed alright, thank the maker, and many would wave and huzzah as they trotted past them. " But you know what they say, nephew. You give them the little finger, and they take the whole hand. "

" At least Aaron didn't sink to this level. " The king sighed and shut his eyes. " All that remains is to find him. "

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" Ow. Ow, ow! OW, OW !"

When she had felt the naichious return she had clinged tightly to the arm around her shoulders, not realising how hard she actually had squeezed his flesh. He smiled brightly as the green from the amulet in his other hand began to fade out.

And once she turned to the side and spotted the gems twin in the Magisters hand she let go of her companion, bashing the man to the floor.

" Ar tu na'din! "

Her hair dashed down around her shoulders, hiding the black eyewhite and the green with the sharp pupil. He trembled in fear as her claws came in contact with his throat, and when she felt his pulse she rejoiced as his face turned white. She stopped and turned when she felt Dorian hand on her shoulder, causing her to look to her right.

The hall been filled with people that stared back at her on the floor. She slolwy spotted Mages, the dead Venatori guards, Murdock's men, Amell who was being held by Murdock, Varric and Solas.

The present and unaffected by Red Lyrium Solas.

 

 _Her_ solas.

 

Her eyes went back to the man on the floor, and to the hand around his throat. Despite the cold core going through her spine she held her hand tightly around his squirmy neck. Dorian bent on his knee, next to his old mentor.

" You will have to do better then that. "

With a low growl Ithilwen went so close that she could feel the terrified mans breath against her face. " Put aside all claim to Redcliffe, and we will let you live. "

Alexius stuttered, but despite his every try he couldn't squeeze fourth the words. Instead he shook his head in agreement and avoided the glare she peirced him with. She rose up again, placing herself between Dorian and Solas who had walked over to her. Tears began to form around the magisters eyes and as he trembeling pulled his hands to his temples. "There is no point in extending this.. C _harade_. " He then looked to the side and reached out his arm to the young man in the yellow garb. " Felix.. "

The Magisters child knelt down at his parents side and took hold of his shoulders. " It's going to be alright, father. "

Alexius fell into his sons arms. " You'll die. " His voice was thick with sorrow. Ithilwen could barely keep her eyes on them, for her heart nearly drowned as well.

Felix patted his father on his back with calming strokes. But his eyes were hollow, and looked up down on the crowd of mages that had filled the room. None of them seemed to have any pity of the duo on the floor. They would no dount rip them all to shreds, had they been able. When he then caught the gaze of the elven woman, who earlier had looked like the messanger of death now held a pained expression he felt his lower lip tremble.

Even a monster could feel heartache, it seems.

" Everyone dies. "

Two inquisition scouts walked forward and roughly took hold of Alexius, one in each arm. One of the guards laughed as Alexius sobbing slipped down on one knee and gave him a small kick, trying to make him fall completely.

" Treat him with dignity! "

The guard stared at the green and vicious eye of his prophet and the toothy grin that has barked the order, then at the sharp claw around his arm. Unable to answer the man simply nodded and walked away with the magister between the quiet crowd and vanished through the door.

Dorian let out a deep and frustrated sigh as he saw Felix depart with his father through the gate. The mage looked like he had aged twenty years in just a few hours, for bags hanged under his eyes, and the elegant curve of his mustache as well as his hair hanged flat against his head.

" Well, I'm glad that is over. " He said as he turned back to Ithilwen.

But he turned back as the doors were thrown open anew, and light filled the giant hall for a second time. The sound of many unified footsteps began to echo lauder and lauder, causing all in the crowd to turn around. A small unit of twelve men, all carrying the emblem of a red laughing mabari, walked inside in perfect rhythm and placed themselves alongside the corridor.

" Or not.. " Dorian whispered as he saw more and more soldiers walk past them and take their positions alongside the walls and between the pillars.

 

" Grand Enchanter. "

 

Ithilwen squinted when she saw her dwarven companion smile widely and turned around. She arched her brow when she spotted a man, blonde with a trimmed beard on his chin and amber eyes walked towards them. He looked like he was about his mid thirties. He wore a fancy leather outfit with fur on his shoulders. At his side he carried a sword, golden and inlaid with small stones, and a strange rune, very like the one at Amell's staff and Leliana's bow inscribed in it's hilt.

Ithilwen tilted her head a bit to the side as the man got closer and closer. He smelled.. _Different_. A bit like Felix, but yet.. Her eyes darted back to the dwarf when she heard him gasp. Varric's smile vanished as soon as the man placed himself right before the Grand Enchanter who seemed to have lost whatever confidence she might have had earlier.

" Imagine how surprised I was to learn you given Redcliffe castle to a Tevinter Magister. " The blonde sounded amused, but from his twitching eyebrows and small pupils Ithilwen figured him to be very angry, indeed. Fiona trembled as she stared down into the ground and knelt at his feet.

" King Alistair.. "

She did not manage to speak further before the man in front of her interrupted her. Ithilwen's eyes slowly widend.

 _He_ was the ruler of Ferelden, and one of that had ended the Blight. She looked to the side and saw that almost everyone had lowered their heads or bent to their knees out of respect. She slowly turned around, surprised and unable to move a muscle.

The king furrowed his brows deeper as his hand raised to someone in the back. " Especially since I'm fairly sure Redcliffe belongs to Arl Teagan. "

Another man stepped forward in the hall and placed himself next to the king. He wore a red plate armor with one shoulder patch, and a shield with the Redcliffe Emblem imprinted, as well as a ornated sword at his side. He looked dashing, even for his age, with his shoulder long chestnut red hair hanging wild and one small braid that hanged loosely behind his right ear. A well trimmed beard covered most of his lower face. He began to look around the room and once his gaze went passed by Ithilwen, it instantly dashed back. He squinted his eyes, but after a short moment they began to widen and he turned pale, as if he had seen a a ghost.

" Your majesty.. We never intended. " Fiona stumbled on her words, but the king only clenched his teeth.

" I know what you intended." The king's voice softened as he sighed. " I wanted to help you. But you've made it impossible! " He stared out at the crowd of mages that filled most of the room.

" You, and your followers are no longer welcome in Ferelden. " 

Fiona gasped and began to stutter anew. " But, we have hundreds that need protection! Where will we go? "

 

" I should point out that we still need mages to help us close the Breach. "

 

The king irritated turned his head to the side, and when his eyes caught Ithilwen's his jaw nearly dropped.

Her clothes had been ripped to shreds, and her hair hangs loosely around her arms and back. She had deliberately let her left covered by her hair, since the charm on her eye had fallen off earlier.

Fiona furrowed her brows deep as she observed her walk forward. " And what would be the terms of this arrangement? " Aaron stumbled to Ithilwen's side with Dorian.

" Hopefully better then the one Alexius gave you. " Dorian raised an eyebrow at Ithilwen, who only sighed.

" The Inquisition _is_ better then that, yes? "

Solas walked over to Ithilwen's side and put his hand on her left shoulder. The king suddenly twitched and stared with furrowed brows at the older and bald elf. " These mages have lost all possible supporters. The Inquisition is the only remaining chanse for freedom. "

" I've known a lot of mages. " Varric placed himself at her right shoulder. The king twitched once more as he saw the dwarf approach. " They can be loyal friends if you let them. Friends who make bad decisions, but still. Loyal. "

Fiona tilted her chin a bit upwards, clearly inspired by Solas and Varric's words. " It seems we have little choice but to accept your offer. "

Ithilwen sighed. She would rather have conscripted them, but that would only lead to another revolt.

What the mages needed was trust. They needed to feel the responsibility, and what true freedom meant.

After a silent moment she quickly reached out her right hand to Fiona, who shocked stared back.

" We would be honored to have you fight as our allies at the Inquisition's side! " Fiona only scoffed.

" I'll pray that the rest of the Inquisition honour your promise, then. "

Ithilwen felt like giving the Grand Enchanter a slap across her face, but swallowed her anger and took one step forward. " The breach threatens all of Thedas. We cannot afford to be divided now. " She still held her hand in the air, waiting for Fiona to grab it. She leaned it and spoke more softly, but determined. " We cannot do this without _you_. Any chance of success requires your full support. "

The king who had stood quiet at the side now turned to Fiona with a growl and crossed arms. " I'd take that offer if I were you. " His eyes became thinner as he pierced the elven woman with his gaze. " One way or another, you're leaving my kingdom. "

Fiona then slowly nodded her head in acknowledgement to the king and turned back to Ithilwen. After some hesitation she took hold of her hand.

" We accept. " She then whispered. " It would be madness not to. "

Ithilwen smiled brightly and squeezed Fiona's hand gently. Despite her personal feelings about the older woman and her previous choices she felt for the mages. They had been through much during such short time. Fiona put her other hand over Ithilwen.

" I will gather my people and ready them for the journey to Heaven. " She then looked up, at the audience of mages in the hall. " The Breach will be closed. " Her eyes then darted back and fixed in Ithilwen's. " You will not regret giving us this chance. "

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" She did _what?_ "

 

The commander of the Inquisitions troops flared outside the chantry in the direction of the stables, while crumbling a letter in his hand. Leliana, Cassandra and Josephine tagged along as the man began to sprint down the large hill.

" Commander, surely you can see why she acted like she did.. "

" It's not a matter for debate! " He turned his head a bit to the side, but kept his pace down the village. Recruits who was walking instantly made way for the raging ex templar storming through the gate. " There will be abominations among the mages and we must be prepared! "

Josephine breathed hard as she tried to keep up with the commanders speed, holding her dress high with her right hand, and the small board with the candle in her left. " If we rescind the offer of an alliance it makes the inquisition seem incompetent at best, and toranical at worst. "

Cullen kept ignoring the three woman, shaking his head as he rubbed his neck." Giving them an full alliance? " He scoffed and shook his head. " What they need is supervision! Not us holding their hands! "

" Enough, none of us were there. We will need to respect her choice. " Cassandra tried to take hold of the commanders shoulder, but he snatched it back. " The soul purpose of her mission was to get the mages aid, and that was accomplished. We will discuss this later once she-- "

" Oh, there will be a discussion, alright. " Cullen snorted and waved his hand to Master Dennet.

Josephine scratched her head as she observed Cullen taking hold of his red Steed. " What? "

" Commander, she is just staying for the moment, to help organize the journey. She'll be back within the week. "

Cullen didn't listen to the seekers words. He had already strapped on the reins and saddle. Leliana stood waiting by the gate. " Commander.. "

" Make sure to keep the lyrium locked inside with double guard patrols. " He walked outside and quickly mounted. " I will return with her. "

Blackwall stepped out from the smithy and placed himself at Josephine's side as he saw the trail of dust emerge when the commander trotted away.

" Whatever got his pants on fire? "

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" We should look into this dark future you saw. A demon army, and the assassination on the empress. "

Ithilwen, as well as Solas, Dorian and Varric has gathered around the bed Amell was resting in. Luckily enough for him his injuries had not been serious, if you looked passed the burns and missing fingers on his right hand. Fiona had just left in order to have a look on some of the Inquisition scouts that has been injured when they had moved through the tunnels to the great hall.

" Sounds like something a tevinter cult might do. " Dorian prattled on as he leaned back to the wall besides the bed. " Orlais falls, The Imperium rises! Chaos for everyone. "

" One battle at a time. It's going to take just that-- Time, in order to organize the troops, the mages and recruits we've gathered. " Ithilwen tilted her head a bit to the side as she observed her own bandaged arm. " I will bring it up at the war room once we return to Haven. " She shut her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

As soon as they had gotten back from the future Solas, as well as Varric and Amell had been questioning them non stop about Dorian's and Ithilwen most recent experiences. She had been careful not to let out any disturbing facts about their deaths, or about the state of Cullen and Connor had been in. Seeing it once had been mind wrecking torture, and she feared the notion of having to revisit the memory. Dorian had, without asking her about it, heeded her request and only given the most vital parts of their trip.

She sighed once more and rubbed her temples. " For now, I'll settle with a walk. "

Varric let out a long sigh and placed himself on a chair besides the bed. " One thing you saw in the future worries mean. I mean it was all bad. But Red Lyrium in Ferelden? Infecting people and growing out of them? That's  _bad_. Finding more of it really punches a hole in my  _red lyrium at the temple was a coincidence_   theory."

Aaron rose up on his elbows so he could spot the dwarf from the bed. " How long does it take for it to grow? How fast can it spread? "

The dwarf let out another sigh and rested his chin in his hand. " It took years to infect people in Kirkwall, but no one there was actually ingesting the stuff. This _Elder One_ managed to take the worst thing I can think of and make it worse. That's an accomplishment. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows and growled as she stared out through the window. " We can't let a single piece of that thing stay out in the wild. "

Varric observed her quietly only for a short moment. " I'm with you on that. I got people trying to find out where that red stuff came from. I'd suggest making that a priority. " He then grew a wide smile as he rose up from the chair and placed himself next to the white haired elf. " But that's enough doom and gloom. You've just won a big victory for the Inquisition! " She turned her head to the blonde on her right. " What're you going to do to celebrate? "

Ithilwen remained as stern as before and looked once more through the glass. " We can't know what's coming. Best not to get too comfortable. We need to plan our next step, as soon as possible. "

Varric slightly squinted his eyes, but still kept his grin wide. " I can't disagree on that, but maybe you should relax while you can. " He looked over her left arm, that had been bandaged. " Things should be calm until we return in Haven. Take a moment to enjoy this. " His smile widened as he looked back to Solas. " If the world is about to end, I'm sure the seeker will let us know. "

Dorian laughed equally as heartily as Varric and walked over to the two by the window, dragging his arm around the elf's shoulders.

" I too would like to see this Breach up close, if you don't mind. "

Ithilwen blinked her eyes and looked up at the man on her left. " Then.. You're coming with us? "

" Oh, didn't I mention? " He smiled widely and spoke with a sarcastic tune " The south is so charming and rustic. I adore it to little pieces. "

" I must admit, I'm a little surprised. "

Dorian grew a grim look on his face. " We both saw what could happen. What this, Elder One, and his cult are trying to do. " His eyes squinted as he briefly looked away. " Not everything from Tevinter is terrible. Some of us have fought for eons against this sort of madness. " He returned his eyes to normal, looked back and smiled. " it's my duty to stand with you. That future will not come to pass. "

Ithilwen looked up at the man with a small smile. " Thank you, Dorian. There's no one else I'd rather get stranded in time with. Future, or present. "

" Excellent choice! " He lowered his brows as he lowered himself to her ear. " But let's not get stranded anywhere soon, yes? "

Ithilwen turned when she heard footsteps. All but Solas looked at her with confused expressions, but when they heard the knock on the door the exchanged looks with each other, feeling even more puzzled. She went from Dorians grasp and walked to the door.

To her own surprise she found the king standing outside. She immediately blushed and bowed.

" Your majes--"

" No need. " The king interrupted with a dry and uninterested voice as he walked inside. Aaron forced himself up on his elbows once more with a serious expression . The three other guests exchanged looks once more, before turning to Amell in the bed.

" Maybe we should excuse ourselves. "

They all bowed in their departure, but before Ithilwen managed to walk outside the king turned to her. " I would like you to stay, for the time being. We have some things to discuss. "

Ithilwen nodded. " Of course. "

Solas turned one last time, saw the king as he approached the bed, tilted his head back and closed.

 

The king instantly let his arms cross over his chest as he glared down at the mage in the bed.

" Don't give me that look. "

The blonde man groned and placed himself at the chair that Varric had used earlier. They both looked back at Ithilwen who still stood by the door.

" I must admit, I'm a bit suprised at this turn of events. "

Ithilwen woke up and looked to the king and Aaron, who waved her to come closer. She did, but not without keeping a clear distance. The blonde man observed her as she slowly walked by with his eyes.

" About what? " Ithilwen asked as she placed herself on another chair on the other side of the bed.

" You did a heroic thing, I'll admit. But I, as I believe many others will think it would have been better if you'd have conscript the mages instead. "

 " But.. Weren't you part of that.. What was it called.. Libertarians? Aren't they all about being free from the chantry? "

" Ah, child. " Aaron chuckled and shook his head. " I am true to my word, that liberté - Freedom, should exist for us magically tallented. But only within the Circle. "

" Then how is that freedom? "

" Leliana think the same. " Aaron nodded. " That we cannot be free if we're bound to an order, or idéa. But just because we both are mages, elves, humans or for example Fereldans does not make us kin. You know this. " She sighed when she saw his pericing eyes and adverted hers. He continued his chain of speech. " Magic _is_ dangerous, and dangerous things will be used in both good and evil names. These Circle was created for a purpose ; to keep order. " He looked to the side and observed the king, as if he was searching for something.

" Fiona acted out of selfishness and caused a war. No matter how many layers of paint she smears will cover the details about her mesures. Offering her a partnership may take a turn for the worse. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows. " I think locking them in once more only would end badly. I know it's childish, even naive, but what they need is a chance to prove themselves. "

Amell bent forward and grabbed her hand. " I stand behind you, no matter what decision you make. I may not agree with everything, but I will not question your judgement. "

Suprised she blinked a few times, but raised her hands. " No, I'd prefer to hear your opinions. Always speak your mind. " Amell smiled once more.

" You really are.. " Ithilwen perked her ears. And for a moment Ithilwen thought herself see a strange light in the older mans eyes. " Nevermind. " He then said and looked down on his hand, holding it up. " It will take me some time before I'll get used to this.. "

" Ir abelas, Aaron. If I only had been swifter.. "

" Stop. " His hand took hold of hers, causing her look up at him again. " What happened had to happen. Me missing two fingers is not on your conscience. "

" What was even the purpose? " The king growled from the other side of the bed. 

" I think he only did it to prove a point, for me and the people of Redcliffe. "

The king rose from chair and stormed around the room with his fists high in the air, screaming. " That snake! " He turned around and walked back to the bed. " I swear if I ever.. "

He stopped when he saw the frightened and round eyes on the younger girl. For a moment he thought himself see someone else, with the almost exakt face. With the blue eyes, and white hair. His hands lowered and he once more placed himself on the chair besides the bed, feeling drained.

" Forgive me. " He grunted with a low head. " These have been a couple of trying weeks. "

" No.. I understand.. " He coaxed his head back up, and he felt yet another shiver when he saw the sad eyes dart back to Amell. He took a sharp breath and looked back at his friend in the bed.

" So, would you mind telling us what you summoned here us for? "

Ithilwen raised one of her brows in confusion, while Aaron only nodded back to the king. He then turned his attetion back to her.

" I assume you can figure this out. "

" About..? "

" About my.. " Aaron trailed off and looked towards the end of the room. He sighed and closed his hands around the scarf covering his forehead, losing it. The cloth slowly fell down to his lap, and for the first time she could observe the mark on his forehead more closely. Even in dark light the red sun stood out, claiming the center of his head.

" About this. "

Ithilwen shook her head. " I may be a mage, but I hardly know anything about the rite of tranquillity. "

" That is not a common study to be shared. Only a Knight-Commander may give the order, and only a Grand Enchanter may know how to perform it. " He looked to the side. " This was done by Fiona's predecessor, under threat I might add. "

" And you know by whom? " Ithilwen asked, nervously.

" By the order of a Seeker."

Ithilwen felt the hair in her neck rise.

" Seeker Lambert? "

The other mage nodded slowly. " The one and the same. He, as well as this Elder One, may have been working together before his death.

" But, how is this possible? " Ithilwen asked. " I thought it was irreversible. "

" A.. Friend.. Helped me. He touched my mind, and I was myself again. "

" But, what does it feel like, being tranquil? "

" The world made sense. " He said slowly with a certain longing in his eyes. " I did not turn willingly, but everything felt peaceful, simpler. I didn't feel scared, nor angry. It was.. " He looked down on his hands. " It may sound strange, but I sort of miss it. "

Alistair looked away with a hurt expression while Amell continued. " But once my will and magic was brought back everything began to feel wrong again. " The older mage in the bed began to stumble on his words as he forced them. " I am grateful, I'm just.. " He pinched the bridge of his nose. " Everything felt easier. "

" I understand. " Ithilwen sighed with a sad smile. " You trusted yourself never to hurt anyone, and did not need to prove your innocence all the time. "

Aaron looked up, surprised. " Exactly. "

" How long did you wander like that? "

" It felt like one breath, but truth is I regained my magic three years ago, after my mentors death. "

She arched her brows. " Three years ago? Then the plan to kill the Divine--"

" Has been plotted for a long time, yes. "

" And how did you figure that they might have been working together? "

  
Aaron rested his chin in his hand. " Because I have a gap in my memory. The boy that undid the rite told me that Lambert is to blame, and that I knew something. Once I was turned, he wiped my memories away. "

" What? " She flared up from the chair. " Then did you already know what-- "

" No. " Aaron shook his head. " I met the boy the second time right before comming here, to Redcliffe. He told me that I had stumbled on whatever plan he had conjured together with the Elder One. That he couldn't kill me without raising questions, and that was the reason for setting me up and having me made tranquil. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows anew, and placed herself on the chair. " What do you mean, boy? "

Aaron caught his head between his hands. " I.. Don't know. I can't recall.. " He sighed once more. " I have tried to remember so many times, but no matter how much I try I can't. " He looked up, and back at Ithilwen. " What we need to do is focus on what we know now. "

His golden eyes squinted as he looked through the window at the side. " This village has seen quite a few horrors in such a short time. We need to haste if we want to avoid it being over run completely. " He turned back to his two guests sitting by the bed.

" Keeping Alexius alive might prove an advantage in the future, for he hold more knowledge about this Elder One than anyone else. " He lowered his head. " Well, with the exception from Lord Seeker Lambert. " He looked back to the king. " I fear that the influence he carry may pollute the Templar Orders agendas, even now after his death. You must get to them as soon as possible. "

" I don't know. " Ithilwen shook her head. " I would also like to talk with them, but so far they haven't been willing to listen. "

" Ithilwen. " Aaron took her hand. " There is no time to sit idle and do nothing. Either you go now, or you lose them. "

The king nodded in agreement at the side. " I may not like the templar order, but they are a necessary evil. I assume I needn't tell you that not all mages hold good intentions? " Ithilwen blushed as she slowly nodded. The king let out a deep breath and continued. " I have tried to send letters, but as monarch and a mage sympathiser I've been rejected. " He turned to Aaron. " As soon as Connor arrives we will return to Denerim. "

" As you wish, your majesty. " Aaron nodded.

Alistair rolled his eyes. " Aw come on. "

Aaron snickered. " Well exuuuuse me prince-- ow ow ow! " Alistair took hold of the mage's ear and pinched it hard. Ithilwen couldn't help herself from letting out a small giggle. The king looked back with light in his eyes.

" Well, I don't know about you, but I am starving. I will go down to the kitchen and raid the larder." He went up on his legs and turned to Amell in the bed. " Want me to fetch you something? "

Ithilwen stared at the blonde and laughed once more. " Are.. Are you serious? "

Aaron whispered behind his hand with a great smile to Ithilwen. " You should have seen his dwarven friend he used to run with. He could alone have eaten a horse, had he been able. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations :
> 
> Ar tu na'din - I will kill you/I will make you dead.  
> Ir abelas - I am sorry/I apologize.
> 
> LATER EDIT
> 
> Wow, what a blunder! Lambert is dead since years back. I mixed Lucius and Lambert with each other. I have changed it now.


	22. Out, brief candle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Doubt is a dangerous thing, but luckily there are friends among her imaginary foes, calling her back.

" Move one more step and I will not hesitate from piercing you with my arrow. "

The young woman in the green and brown hood slowly rose her hands above her head, as the demand barked between the trees. Soon she spotted a shadow that jumped down and ermerged behind one of the greater oaks. A boy in his early twenties came closer, holding a shortbow with a strained arrow close to his cheek that was covered by crimson colored marks.

As he slowly approached he growled even deeper. " Let go of your daggers, now! "

The woman slowly reached for her weapons that rested under her mantle on her back, unsheeted the sharp blades and threw them on the ground before her. The younger man slowly stepped forward, eagerly observing one of them with great interest.

" Dar'Misu?" He asked, as he slowly turned it's edge with one of his feet. " You're one of the elvhen? "

" No, not by your account. " The woman in her hood slowly replied with a rather dry voice, as if she felt the subject to be indifferent.

" Then where did you get it? " He clenched his teeth and strained the arrow even further as he slowly came to his own conclusion. " You stole it? "

" It belonged to my mother, long ago. "

The young archer slowly let his bow fall down to his thighs as he took another step forward. The woman smiled under her hood.

" A bold, but idiotic move, _boy_. You know not who I might be, yet you let your irritation get the better of you. "

Not completely unaffected by the words the marksman pulled the string on his bow once more, holding the arrow just before her nose.

" Why do you come here? "

" To deliver a message. "

The bowman slightly squinted his eyes as he tried to find hers under the hood. When he failed to do so he slowly began to move in a circle around her instead. " From whom? "

She slightly coaxed her chin upwards as she saw him return before her frame, closer than before. Her thumb pointed back at the brooch with the archon's sword piercing an eye that held her mantle in place. " The Inquisition, and the Herald of Andraste. "

Once again he lowered his bow as his surprise caught him off guard. Her brow twitched when she saw the light in his eyes, and the smile that was about to take place on his lips.

" You know Ithilwen? "

She stood quiet for only a second, then straightened out her back. " I have not had the pleasure off speaking with the lady myself. But I've seen her. That is true. "

The boy moved away with his bow low, quiet as he observed her from the side. After a moment of awkward silence he slowly grinned his teeth and raised bow towards the hooded figure. " Why should I believe any word that escapes your lips, _flatear? "_

The woman pulled out a small note from her sleeve, and stretched it out to the man in the leather armor between her point and index finger. He instantly snatched it away, observing the characters printed on the envelope. He grew a wide smile as he recognised the writing and looked back at the woman in the hooded cloak.

" Follow me. You will want to see the Keeper. "

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" For now we have a group of Tranquil ready to assist you. "

" Alright. Then all is settled. I will leave for Haven in the morrow. "

A small laugh escaped the older woman's throat. " I dare say you look older than I, dear girl. Have you not been sleeping well? "

She looked up from the round table and eyed the Grand Enchanter. Solas kept his eyes on Ithilwen, for he knew Fiona's words to be true. 

Trouble sleeping must have been the least of her problems. He felt that something had been let out from the story Dorian had told them. Whatever it was could not have been good, and he did feel eager to know more, but did not wish to pursue the issue if it meant making her feel worse than what she already seemed to be doing.

She had avoided him, as well as Varric and the others as best as she could, and only talked with them during the meetings they had been holding organizing the mages move to Haven.

As Fiona had explained it only the oldest, youngest and Injured had joined her in Redcliffe, and summoning the others would take time. For now they would bring some of the Tranquil they met.

Ithilwen thought hard as she felt Dorian's, Varric's and Solas eyes on her. Finally she looked up on the Grand Enchanter with a tired smile.

" Ah.. No, just some trouble with my shoulder. " She waved her bandaged arm. It had not been the truth, but thought that the grand Enchanter not being able to see through her deception. She did not need more people worrying over her.

Truth be told she felt restless and wanted to get back to Haven as soon as possible. She wanted to have a normal chat with Cassandra, or perhaps Josephine, not the sympathetic looks she had been given by the others there in Redcliffe.

She wanted to get the images of her companions deaths gone from her mind. 

" Hmm. " Amell grunted and ventured over to her with his cane. He slowly took hold of her hand and observed it and the bags under her eyes with a sceptic look. She shared more similarities with his childhood friend than her looks, it seemed. He let go of her hand and crossed his arms.

" Off to bed with you, we will round this up. "

" But I.. "

" No objections! " Amell unfolded his arms, poked her forehead with his left hand and gave her a hard glare which only seemed sterner from under his scarf. " Bed, now. "

Varric laughed as he saw her pout with her lower lip and friendly patted her back. " Come on, Silver. Let's get you a new outfit. "

Solas and Dorian smiled as they saw Varric drag her out, protesting into the great hall. The sounds of her irritated voice, as well as the dwarfs chuckle soon died out and they turned back to the table with documents that needed to be looked over.

Amell titled to the side and gave Fiona a nod. He then turned to the other two mages sitting by the round table and placed himself far across the other side.

" Well then, Owain is the leader of the tranquil mages from my old tower. "

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

" Solas, I take it you study spirits? "

The older elf looked to the side as he saw Dorian raise himself from the chair and walk with him to the hall.

with a somewhat dry and uninteressted voice he reluctengly took a breath and replied. " I do."

Dorian smiled and closed the door behind him. " Back in my homeland, we keep spirits as servants. " 

Solas felt his curiosity, and irritation, peaked. " So I've been told. " He answered, still holding his tone dry.

The other mage smiled even further in his astonishment and awe. " The things they can be made to be are quite marvelous. " He looked back at Solas with glowing eyes, like a puppy wanting to impress his master. " You should see them. "

Solas chuckled slightly annoyed by the other mages words. " The Tevinter Imperium is not the safest place for an elf. "

" Ah, yes. Point taken. " The hall fell silent as they walked towards the garden. Dorian slightly furrowed his brows in his curiosity. " But to what extent do you study them? Do you use spirits as servants? You'd have no trouble capturing them. "

With a bit more sharp tone he tilted his head a bit to the side. " No. They are intelligent, living creatures. Binding them against their will is reprehensible. "

Dorian scoffed and returned the look. " How much _will_ do they even have? They're amorphous constructs of the Fade. " Solas remained quiet while Dorian only continued as he opend the door to the garden room. " There's no harm putting them to constructive use, and most mages back home treat them well. "

" And any that show any magical talent are freed, are they not? "

" What? " Dorian's eyes grew wider as he began to stumble and turned around. " Sp.. Spirits don't have magical talent. "

" Oh, I'm sorry. " The otherwise cool and indifferent elf now gritted his teeth towards the younger man with furrowed brows. " I thought you were talking about your slaves. "

 

And with that, he turned on his heel, leaving the gawking Tevinter to his own thoughts in the garden.  

                                                                                                    ~*~

 

He had just reached his room when he saw Ithilwen futher down in the hall, and continued down.

She did not seem to have noticed him, and it somewhat surprised him, but he understood as soon as he came closer. She reeked of soap and perfume. He took in the sight of her wet hair hanging loosely around her shoulders and back, and then at her bare legs, for she wore a new outfit, all to large and thick for her slender frame. He chuckled when he saw her forcing the all to long sleeves up and trying to open the door.

 " You are certain that you experienced time travel? Could it have been an illusion, a trick in the fade? "

She turned and looked surprised at him. Her eyes blackened as soon as she began to think and looked down on her hand then the wood before her.

" You know I've been in the Beyond before. " She opened the door and stepped inside the room she had been given by the Arl earlier. " I think I would know the difference. "

Solas followed her in and took the liberty of closing. " Point taken. " He then looked away, speaking with awe in his voice as he wanderd to the fireplace. " What an amazing gift. It is vital that the Inquisition succeed. To avoid the future you've witnessed. "

He heard her sharp breath from behind him and slightly furrowed his brows down.

_Ahh.._

" Most people are having troubles getting around the idéa. "

Solas scoffed and smiled, but still kept his face towards the fire that slowly danced under the chimney. " I am not most people. "

 

She looked up,reawakened.

He certainly wasn't most people.

Despite the walls she tried to force up she felt somewhat closer to him than any of the others in the Inquisition, than in her clan.

She reached out her hand, going closer and closer when a final thought her.

 

Closer than to Sadron.

 

She twitched, and he must have seen it, for he turned around with a confused expression on his own. She began to blush and averted her eyes. He stood still for a moment, then took one confident step towards her. They now stood close, closer than what was considered decent.

Yet, she did not mind. 

For a short moment she looked up in his ocean grey eyes, glowing with a different kind of flame. Not happiness, not anger, but passion. Her eyes then caught the shape of the rest of his face. His long ears, his slender cheeks, nose and lastly,

his lips.

 

" Dal'en? "

 

His voice woke her up from her dreams, and she hastily averted her eyes from the mouth that had spoken, looking down at the floor.

" I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me about it.. " Solas slightly squinted his eyes and tilted his head a bit to the side, curiously observing her every movement. " And not being most people. " 

" If you wich to speak about orleasion fashion, I am am at a loss. " He chuckled softly. " Magical surprises I can talk about. "

The room fell silent, and once again she was staring into his older and wise eyes. She slightly arched her brows as she saw his pupils widen in the dark and reflected her own face in them. She quickly turned her head away as soon as she spotted her own face and the blinking green eye.

Solas cleared his throat as he felt the awkwardness fill the room. " Speaking of which, you should make yourself ready. "

She arched one of her eyebrows and looked up again. " For? "

" This Elder One. " Solas looked back with low brows, and for one moment she thought herself spot worry in his eyes, before he turned his head towards the fire. " You have interfered his plans twice now. Once at the temple of sacred ashes.. And now here, in Redcliffe. " His voice became darker as he settled his hand against his chin. " A being appearing to godhood is unlikely to ignore such an affront. "

 

She was just about to answer when she heard a loud and determined knock on the door.

She exchanged quick looks with Solas, turned and closed in on the door. She was just about to open when it flew up on it's own.

Her eyes widend in her suprise, and she felt the releif settle in as the man by the door observed her silently.

 

“ Cullen! “

 

He would normally have blushed hearing his name spoken in this manner. _Especially_ from her.

Already from the first day they had addressed each other with their titles, and it was highly unusual for her to do this, especially with so many people around. But just because of his anger he only stared down on the bandage around her arm with a thin line for a mouth and with a bitter expression. He squinted his eyes as he slowly growled.

“ You never said anything about having been in a battle in your report. “ He saw her twitch under his gaze and furrowed his brows even deeper when she hesitantly stumbled on her words.

“ I had intended to do so once we returned to Haven with the mages.. “

“ Commander, please.“ He felt a hand on his shoulder, but did bother to take a look on whom it might belong to. He still stared angrily back at Ithilwen who seemed to shrink further down through the floor before him. She darted her eyes between Solas who held his hand on the commander, and at Cullen himself, who's eyes was as uncomfortable as ice. Solas let out another of his sighes and tried to catch the commanders attention.

" She has been through enough to last a lifetime. Try to have some understanding. "

Cullen felt the hair rise yet another time. With a sharp and edgy tune he turned around, staring into the older elfs eyes. " Understanding? " He rose his hand in a threatening manner toward the older man who as confident as ever held his stance with a cold and indifferent expression towards the other man holding his Lion Helmet.

" We get news of her concordant with the mages that allied with an Tevinter Magister, known to have been working with the one that killed the Devine. Not only that, I find her harmed by them. " He turned around and eyed the shrinking girl with great anger. " What were you thinking? Turning mages loose with no oversight? The veil is torn open! This is no time for politics! "

She felt the irritation build up, and instead of swallowing the scolding she stared him right in the eyes. " Would you be more confident if I had brought in more templars instead? "

Cullen sighed as he slowly placed his helmet on the counter next to the door. " I’d be less worried about the thin veil resulting in mass possession. "

She felt her heart jump.

_Ahh._

So _that_ was the issue.

 _More_ mages.

She clenched her teeth and stared up at the templar. " Fiona has promised me to send her best mages to help closing the Breach. This _will_ work. "

" I have no doubt it will, but surely you can understand my worry. " He continued on, crossing his arms. " I will have to make accommodations that nothing goes wrong. "

Her eyes turned even thinner as she observed the commander standing by the door. " What do you mean? "

" All we have are theories. " He unfolded his arms and looked to the side. " No one knows for certain that the mages will help. They are a danger to us, and especially themselves. "

 

" Do you have a problem with me as well? "

 

Cullen dropped his jaw when he saw the fiery look in her eyes. Solas shook his head by his side. The Commander never managed to answer when she dashed by him towards the door, but she stopped just as she had opened it and turned one last time.

" From what I've heard I thought you all humans-- Templars, thuggish, simple and evil. " She eyed the man with golden eyes as he tried to walk forward and catch her arm.

" Now I know I was right. "

As soon as she vanished from his sight and heard the loud clash from the door he felt his heart beat faster. He desperately tried to walk after her, but stopped when he felt Solas hand on his shoulder once more.

" Don’t commander.. She has been through some.. Difficulties this last couple of days. I’d suggest leaving her fort he time being. "

 

                                                                                                    ~*~

 

The question had been unfair.

 

She knew this.

 

He only wanted the best for her and the men they had gathered. She knew mages was easier targets to possess than normal people, or even the tranquil. 

She felt her eyes sting when she imagined his broken, red and bony body on the ground, half swallowed by the Red Lyrium. How his breathing stopped, and how his golden eyes lost their light. She stared back up and felt her breathing quicken.

Her white and wet head went back and fourth as she shook it between her hands.  _How could he have known?_

 

She began to breathe even harder as she felt the mark flare in her hand. Her eyes instantly dashed down at the marks that seemed to climb higher up, for they had now traveled outside the bandage that covered most of her lower arm.

And she felt cold.

Her naked feet quickend up the pace and took her to the garden that had been lit up by millions of candles and lamps, hanging from tree branches, all in different colors.

For a moment she felt relief wash over her as she with a slight smile observed every light slip in between.

Blue, red, yellow, green.

Her eyes sticked to one of the lanterns.

Green.

 

How she had began to _loathe_ green.

 

With a quick motion her hand closed around the hot glass and thrashed to the ground, crushing the material into a million pieces. The light from the candle still glowed and she tried to stomp it out, again, and again until the vax had smeared out all over the stone and mixed in with the blood that dripped from her feet and the shattered glass.

She stopped and felt herself pant hysterically and slowly lifted her foot from the ground to observe her new creation and breathed out as she found calm.

But then, for a short moment, she thought herself see a shape on all fours grow forward from the smeared green vax, shaping up and slowly swallowing the light on the wick from the candle.

She shuddered when the shape that looked like a wolf looked back up at her with a wicked grin, and gave her a wink.

 

She insantly backed away, but let out a small scream as she felt a pair of strong hands land on her shoulders.

Dorian raised them quickly as she turned around. He looked down on the broken glass on the stone, the blood, the vax, and then at her face and wild, damp hair.

As soon as she felt the mark flare once more she lowered herself and caught her hand without being able to hide the pain she felt.

He observed her hand as it flared and glowed green inside the bandage with furrowed brows. " How long has it been doing that? " Despite him only knowing her for a few weeks he had already learned how to read her like she had been an open book. This was unordinary, indeed.

" For how long? " He repeated with a sterner voice when she failed to answer. But only seemed to make her angry, for she snarled with a toothy grin to the side.

" It's nothing. I'm fine. "

" Do you think I was born yesterday? " He took another step forward. " Why do you insult my intelligence by lying straight in my face? "

She scoffed and aimed to move. " How would you know? "

Dorian grew another of his grim looks as his left hand took hold of her wrist. " I know a thing or two about lying to yourself. " She avoided his gaze, and tired to get out of his grip, but he held her steadfast and spoke with a harsh but determined tone.

" No, you're not running away. " His voice grew softer as she averted her eyes with low brows. " Solas told me about your.. Peculiar condition. "

" What? " Her head instantly dashed back and he saw the distress grow in her eyes. " He promised me! He promised he wouldn't--"

" How would he be able to cover it up? No thanks to the way you reacted in the future. " He sighed once more as he saw her arm twitch and her teeth grind against each other. " I understand this is hard for you--"

" You don't understand anything! " The hand around her wrist left in an instant as she yelled back in her anger. He stared back at the green blinking eye and at the sharp claws on her left hand as she walked back and forth on the broken glass. Blood began to color the red stone even more and he desperately tried to make her stay in one place, but she only continued her ranting. " I mean, how could you? All I ever hear about is that I need to learn how to control my magic but no one actually tells me how to do it!"

When the strike flew over her cheek she stumbled a few steps to the side. It took her a moment before she shocked stared back at the other mage who still held his hand high in the air.

" Anger is just the thing you should avoid, yet you rely to it more often than a fly seeks dung. "

She opend her mouth, but the words would not come out.

He had been right.

" You claim that no one understands you, but how could they when you shut them out? "

She sighed and placed herself on the bench, avoding his eyes.

Of course he was right.

Dorian on the other hand crossed his arms.

" Look at me. "

When she didn't he bent to his knee and calmly took hold of her cheek, pinning her head up to look at him.

" If you're looking for comfort, there is none to be found. " He gave her a grim look. She looked deep into his eyes and he into hers. They stood quiet for a short moment before she felt his other hand on her jaw.

" You are the only one with the power to change yourself, not me, Cullen, Solas, Varric.. " He trailed off and began to wipe away a drop from her eye.

" The only one is you. The Maker did not design us to kick ourselves in the butt, but you will have to just that in order to save us. " He smiled when he heard her chuckle and placed himself next to her on the bench, letting his arm close around her, for it was cold outside. He felt her lean in and let his head land against hers. And when he heard twittering in the trees he looked down on the girl at his side with a sad smile and a friendly squeeze around her arm.

" Look at what you have saved. " 

" It wasn't me. " She whispered with a thick voice. He held her tighter as he felt the damp from her eyes and whispered back.

" Yes, it was. "

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" No, not here. Try further down. "

He bowed, excused himself and continued down alongisde the hall. The older woman inside the door shook her head as she turned to Amell.

" It was the commander of the Inquisition. He was searching for the Herald. "

Aaron scratched his head and looked through the door as the templar became a small dot. He then turned back to the Grand Enchanter with a low grunt.

" Odd, but I've had enough with action for one day. " He turned, and closed.

 

Cullen on the other hand quickly made his way through the castle. He had searched what seemed like every corridor and room.

Unlike last time he hadn't the help from one of the servants and had to look instead of being led. He cursed as he knocked on a new door and received no answer.

Solas story had instead of calming him down only driven him more angry. Would he ever get his hand on the wretched worm's neck he would squeeze his eyes out. And he would need to apologize. His anger was missdirected, and he now realised how clumsy he had acted. He swore at himself when he had realised it had not been anger, but hurt that he had spotted in her eyes.

But he in return had felt worried once he had seen the bandage around her arm.

He stopped up in the middle of his walk with heated cheeks.

Worried?

About her?

He rubbed his neck as he felt his heart beat faster and leaned alongside the wall. He knew not when he had developed such protective feelings for another and it only infuriated him that he never could be the shoulder she needed, in battle or afterwards.

He shook his head and resumed his search.  

He opened the last door in the wall and entered a great garden. The moon stood high and he took in the light with a sigh. He turned to the left and as soon as he saw strands of her white hair flow in the wind he felt his cheeks grow hotter. He rushed forward but soon felt cold around his neck.

For as soon as he had moved closer and seen the dark skinned and muscular arm around her shoulder, and how her head leaned against his he had slowed down his pace.

And when he had heard the soothing of his hum, and the trembleing in her voice he stopped,

turned,

and walked back into the hall.

 

He punched the wall as he thought himself an idiot for ever thinking him being worthy of her time.

For ever thinking _himself_  worthy to be a shoulder for her to lean on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I did a shakespeare.
> 
> .. Sort off.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Dal'en - Little child
> 
> Dar'Misu - (A form of an elvhen dagger) is a name constructed by two words, Dar meaning "to be", and mi "blade". One of the most common assumptions is tha the meaning for the weapon is "to bring death/bringer of death" , even if din is the actual correct word for death. Then again, the language spaces out a lot and many words can be used for different purposes and in the wrong order at times.


	23. Andraste's grace

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Revisiting the lost is never pleasant, especially not when it is forced.

_" Hahren na melana sahlin_

_Emma ir abelas_

_Souver’inan isala hamin_

_Vehnan him dor’felas_

_In uthenera na revas. "_

 

She stood by the lake at Haven, slowly singing the words of a song her kin often would chant when one of the people passed away and joined their ancestors.

She had no bodies to bury, neither was Cullen, Varric or Leliana part of the elves, but they deserved the same treatment like any concindred one of her kin would have. 

Not even Solas, despite his vast knowledge and love for their peoples history.

And so she sang. The words were slowly carried away by the calm wind and out throgh the open wind.

In her hands she held a small wodden bucket filled with seeds and earth. She breathed slowly and looked out on the frozen lake in the dim morning light.

She would plant them there later that spring, once the snow had melted.

It might not have been a important place to them, but it held signifigant meaning to her, and thought they would apprichiate the gesture.

 

Burning, hot, white skin turning red as fire consumes, flesh parting from bone, eyes melting.

Falling through the gates, glowing red, red back, broken wood.

Red, corrupt. Eyes empty of the light from life, lips slighly parted as one last breath escaped through his bony chest.

 Drooling, bathing in the crimson paint without his head.

 

Her voice began to shake, and had it not been for the interrutpion from the other woman, she might have stopped in the middle of her chant.

 

 _"_ _Vir surlahn’nehn_

_Vir dirthera.. "_

 

As she turned around to have a look at whom the words belonged too she spotted Leliana walk towards her, singing the same song as her. Suprised she joined her. In perfect rythm she sang together with the spymaster who step by step closed in the distance between them two and placed herself at Ithilwen’s side. In union they chanted higher and brighter, announcing the words to the non existing departed and looked out at the frozen lake.

 

_" Vir samahl la numin_

_Vir lath sa’vunin. "_

 

The song slowly died out and the sound of a soaring wind filled the air instead. The readheaded woman under the hood observed as the elf at her right kneel, place the small bucket on the ground, and rise back on her feet.

" Who died? " Leliana asked after a breif moment of silence.

" You. "

The spymaster eyed the elf who looked indifferent at her side and furrowed her brows deep because of the cryptic answer.

Was she planning to have her killed?

" What do you mean? " She replied cautiously as her arm reached back, clenching around the hilt of her dagger, but not so the other one present could see it.

Well, at least she had thought.

" There’s no need fort that. " The white haired elf whispered calmly from the side. Leliana remained quiet, surprised at her quick intuition, but did let go of her knife, and replaced the stance she had taken with a more calm and discreet pose, waiting for for her to continue. It took her quite a while before she spoke again.

" Me and Dorian was sent forward into the future. "

This time the spymaster couldnt help dropping her jaw. Ithilwen squinted her eyes and looked own on her hands, especially the left one and held it up. " Alexius had intended to erase me from the world completely, because I had _this_. " Her blue eyes squinted even harder as she stared forward at the water under the surface of ice. " Dorian managed to abrupt his spell. It took an unwanted turn. " Somber the Spymaster observed as she hitched on her breath and stared out at the ice.

" The whole world had died. "

" I am sorry to hear that. " The spymaster let out and took a closer step. " It must have been a tryingexperience. "

" It was. " The elf trailed off as she looked back to Leliana, then caught her arms, for the wind blew hard and cold, even in this early spring morning. " You, as well as Solas and Varric died before my eyes. The three of you sacrificed yourself in order for me to flee. "

" Of course I did. " The Redhead chuckled and looked to the side with a smug smile. " One small life in exchange for a second chance at history? I've always loved a bargain. "

For a quick moment she thought herself see both of the elfs eyes blink green as her jaw clenched together. She then breathed out through her nose and looked to the side, as if wanting to correct the older woman " It was a sacrifice, and it was noble. "

Leliana smiled sadly back.  " And I would do it again. "

Silence passed between them once more, and the elf turned back her gaze to the bucket on the ground. " I assume I needn't tell you what the words mean. "

" I do know them by heart. " Leliana lowered her head as her memories took her back. " An old elven woman sang it to me when my mother had passed away. She told me that death isn’t the end, but a new beginning, that we all must shed our earthly bodies to allow our spirits to fly free. "

" That is comforting. "

Leliana's eyes slowly widened as her head hastily coaxed to the side, staring back at Ithilwen who slowly breathed in the cold air and looked out at the frozen lake. 

 

It was like seeing her reversing the whole scene, one more time.

For a moment she felt herself sent back. Instead of a lake there was a fireplace, and around them an endless forest and a few newly risen white tents. Instead of the tattered and constantly repaired tunic she wore a blue, black and white garb, with brown leather boots and gloves. All brought together by a white griffon on her chest piece.

Her hair was newly cut and short, brought up in a small ponytail. On her bare face there was a small scar, lining down under her right eye with new small stitches. 

 

She smiled and caught her forehead. " I haven’t heard or singed it that tune since my friend vanished though. "

She saw Ithilwen furrow her brow just slightly as she hesitantely opend her mouth.

" Her? "

" Her. "

" And Blackwall had no clue? "

" None. " The spymaster sighed and caught her arms. " It’s unfortunate, but that’s all there’s to it. I had hoped.. " She trailed off and slowly shook her head back and forth. " It doesn't matter now. "

Silence once again surrounded them, and Ithilwen suddenly gasped.

" What? "

 

_" Actually, there is one thing.."_

 

Aaron had been standing by the small stone bridge just outside the keep, leaning on his newly carved wooden cane. He had still looked poorly. Only natural, of course. It had only been a week, he was bound to still have some lingering injuries after the torture he had received while they had been gone.

 _" Can you deliver something for me? "_  

 

" It's from Amell. "

The redhead under the hood waved in front of her. " I don't want it. "

Ithilwen looked down at the note in her hand, but almost instantly reached it back to the spymaster. " He insisted. "

The other woman reluctenly took hold of the envelope and observed it in her hand, but just as she was about to unseal it Ithilwen turned to the side with perked ears.

The spymaster furrowed her brows and also turned towards the village.

A young boy, one of Cullen's recruits, Jim he was called, sprinted towards them with lightning speed, shouting untraceable sentences. Ithilwen turned around completely shouting back to the boy.

" When? "

Leliana eyed at the woman next to her withsuspicion. Whatever did she mean by that?

" Just now! " The boy panted as he closed in on them. He lowered his upper body and rested his arms against his knees as he drew fresh breaths. After a while Leliana felt the irritation take hold of her.

" Well? "

The boy blushed and held up a scroll he had been carrying. Ithilwen took it, hastily red through the report, then tossed it back to Leliana and dashed back to the village with great speed.

" Call for the others to meet me in the war room. "

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

_" Herald of Andraste. I have captured some of your people. If you ever wish to see them alive, come, meet me in my keep, or else they will never see the sun rise. "_

Cullen stood ready with a soggy note at the end of the table, reaching the wet paper back and fourth as he slowly recited the words. The letters were big and almost untraceable, but he did good work reading what was printed in the letter. Josephine lowered her small wooden plank against the table and red from another report.

" The missing soldiers have been found in a bog called the Fallow Mire. They are being held hostage by Avvar who demand to meet the Herald of Andraste of the Inquisition.  "

Ithilwen clenched her fist and banged it against the table. " So be it. " She then turned to the spymaster. " There is still some time before all the required mages arrive, and they need to be better equipped before we take on the Breach. "

" Are you sure you are up to it? " Leliana asked with furrowed brows as she stared at her left arm. " You have already endangered yourself more than enough these last couple of weeks. "

Determined Ithilwen looked back and forth between the spymaster and the table. " I will not allow our soldiers to die in vain. I had hoped to seek out the templars in the meantime, but it will need to wait. "

Josephine brought forward another map that she rolled together and handed to Ithilwen. " Here, these are the paths that the soldiers used before they disappeared. "

Ithilwen nodded in her gratitude and coaxed her head to Cullen. " I trust you to make any necessary precautions for the mages, as well as equipment. You if anyone are the most experienced when it comes to magic in theory out of you advisors. "

Cullen looked up and as soon as his eyes met hers he felt his throat get thicker. She was about to get in harms way, again. But once he saw the determination in her eyes his mood sank.

She would do it anyhow, no matter what he said.

He cleared his throat and withdrew his eyes, back to the world map. " I will. But are you sure it would be wise too-- "

He never finished before she had vanished through the door together with the ambassador.

 

 

" I heard you had made a deal with a lyrium smuggler? "

" Yes. " Josephine quickly nodded as she caught up with the young elfs speed. " I thought we should reach out to the dwarves to secure lyrium for the Inquisitions mages. And it just so happend our Spymaster had someone in mind. However, acccording to Leliana's contact, lady Brosca, it's raised the ire of the chantry. "

Ithilwen furrowed her brows as she opened the Chantry door. " How? "

" Access to lyrium makes us rather formidable, more than they anticipated. We are becoming a challenge. Sadly, the remaining grand clerics appear to be consolidating the chantry's power instead of confronting the masses. "

Ithilwen sighed and caught her forehead. " The chantry should be a place off hope, not another group scrambling for answers. "

The ambassador hummed in agreement. " That needs to be their strength once more. Little but the Chantry ties Orlais, Nevarra, Ferelden, Antiva and even Rivain to a common cause. "

Ithilwen stopped in the middle of the hill. " Has the chantry truly promoted such peace? "

" Andraste's chant is familiar across kingdoms, a source of many shared customs. " The ambassador nodded once more. "  _That_  is the crucial point. Common ground is the start of all negotiations. "

Ithilwen stood quiet for a short moment, turned and resumed her walk. "  I see. A common faith is rather useful when talking with people you do not know yet. " She reached her small hut and made the way to the door.

" Precisely! And these similar interests are merely where we begin. We must learn to think beyond our own wants to secure peace in Thedas. "

Ithilwen turned as she opened the door, holding it open for the ambassador, allowing her to walk first. " How did someone so selfless and lovely go into Orlesian politics, Josephine? "

The ambassador began to blush vibrantly as Ithilwen looted her chest, dragging forward an old jacket and dark blue shirt she had received by the Smith. Josephine stood transed as Ithilwen dragged off the tunic she wore, showing her bare and marked skin.

" Well.. That is-- really, you give me too much credit. "

Ithilwen was just about to close the chest when she spotted a blade, glowing vibrantly green. Her eyes squinted as she for a moment hesitated.

" Lady Lavellan? " The ambassador asked at the side.

Ithilwen remained silent as she continued to eye the blade. Afer another moment she sighed and closed the chest.

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

" Before you go, Lady Lavellan.. "

Ithilwen looked down on the Ambassador from Dukes back. Blackwall, The Iron Bull and Sera was waiting on their horses further down the path, yelling for her to hurry.

" I do have a question. " Josephine hesitantly placed her hand on Duke's neck. " The remaining grand clarics sent a missive inquiring about events at the temple of sacred asches. They demand to know wether the Inquisition officially claims that Andraste saved you from the Breach. " She wet her lips and sought Ithilwen's eyes on the horseback. " If it were up to you, how would you reply? "

 " You went with me to Val Royeaux, Lady Ambassador, you know what I said at that square. "

" I do, and that small amount with priests know. But not the higher standing. " She looked at a couple of priests by the village gate that whispered behind their hands. " In fact, they are even more convinced that you are sent by Andraste after your confrontation with the Lord Seeker. "

Ithilwen squinted her eyes as she looked down on the ambassador. " Will my answer even change your reply to the Chantry? "

"  _If_  Leliana, Cassandra, Cullen and I could agree on our official stance, I could answer that. But we should decide soon. The revered mothers don't seem to know what to make of you. "

Ithilwen looked to the side, saw the priests and felt her irritation brew. Time and time again she had told them, screamed, yelled, even cried that she was just a normal elf, trapped with the mission of a prophet. Yet they persist, constantly declaring her being sent by their gods dead woman.

Once the Breach was closed, she would perish. And if not she would go, back to what she was born to do.

She let out a long and frustrated breath and looked down at Josephine with intense eyes. " Tell them the truth, that I don't believe myself to be chosen by Andraste. "

" Yet as the rumors you're Andraste's Herald grow, the Grand Clerics may not believe such a humble reply. "

Ithilwen sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. Josephine looked down on her wooden board, then back up at the young elf. " I know it is a difficult situation for you, but I thank you for the answer. " She slightly nodded her head and turned back to the village gates. " Good day, Lady Lavellan. "

 

"  _Blackwall, Iron Bull_ , the perfect duo! " The horned giant rose his hands in the air with a wide grin. " We could fight crime! "

The warden snorted with an amused tune. "  Isn't that exactly what we're doing? On our way to save missing soldiers? Right this minute?  More or less? "

The giant put his finger on his chin and tilted it upwards. " Oh yeah. "

They all turned their heads back as they heard Ithilwen laugh and soon joined in and rode off towards the great stone bridge.

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

Leliana walked inside her chambers and hesitantly eyed the envelope she had received by the lake. After a short moment she sighed and shook her head, placed it on the desk next to the wall.

She had been fighting with the desire of burning it or ripping it open, and finally one of her wills won. Her hand soon leaned forward, grabbing the note.

Her clothed fingers quickly unfolded the letter, and the room soon was being filled with a light fragrant scent, making her throat dry up and her neck cold. Once her eyed landed on the contents she wanted to throw it away, but her fingers seemed to move on their own. Her lower lip began to tremble as she held the small item in front of her.

 

_"  The way you look at him so intently, so hungrily... one would think you have never seen a man before. "_

 

The witch words had never been truer. For so long she had unknowingly and against her own better judgement sought his attention.

When he first joined the warden after the towers fall she thought him a hopeless know-it-all. An idiot, self proclaimed hypocrite.

But after a while his true nature came fourth. When he thought nobody was watching he showed kindness. Race did not matter to him. Nor age or sex. If someone needed help he would be there. She followed him with her eyes whenever he walked through their camp, observing as he healed the injured, talked with the dwarf or argued with their future king.

 _"_ _You're cute when you're embaressed. "_

Ever the tease.

Never completely flirting, never completely straight forward with what he wanted. It was a game, and he has mastered it.

Was what she had thought, at first.

Turned out he had just been friendly, that he acted that way around everyone. The crow would gladly indulge in such banter, and the tall prince had at every occasion turned on his heel with his fingers in his ears, blushing all the way to Orlais.

 

_" Dear journal. Leliana has showed much affection for me. Even asked me to come to bed with her. But alas, subtlety is lost on me. "_

 

She had laughed hysterically as he spilled his drink all over his yellow and quite frankly, ugly robes. She fondly remembered his shaky hands and trembling lower lip, his golden eyes and dark curles sweeping down alongside his jaw.

Where did the confident young man go, She told herself.

She had giggled as she felt his breath escape and his heart pound hard inside his chest. It had really been an act. For the walls he had risen around him all came crashing down from her slightest touch, her slightest whisper, and the simplest moan.

He would be the first thing she saw in the morning, and the last every evening. He was a beautiful and devoted man to be sure. Never did he look to others after that. He continues to surprise her with gifts, but never at the sexual plane. She would have to fetch him.

It proved to be a challenge, another play, she would tell herself. Since when is it the man who needed convincing? 

But what it really had been was him putting distance between them.

 

_" I am a mage. Once this is all over, I will need to return. It would be kinder in the long run. "_

_" You once told me that if we lose hope in love, there is truly no hope for anything. Are you saying that love is something you can toss to the side, for the sake of not getting hurt? "_

 

He had given in.

And she now knew what she didn't knew by then.

That she had chosen the ulterior evil choice for him.

 

While she was a free nightingale, spreading her wings, he was a trapped owl, cooped in with the rest of his kin. Never would they be able to travel for long, never a normal life. The templars would always call him back.

 And once the troubles began in Kirkwall, she really lost him.

 

" _I dare not send someone else. This is my mess._

 

_Wait for me."_

 

Once he had returned, he wasn't himself.

Hollow.

Empty.

Gone.

Stipped of emotion and magic alike, he now walked around the circle tower. After five years of service to his orginization, and all he got to show for it was a red sun burned into his forehead.

 

Cold, indifferent.

 

When he was brought back from his state, she had already moved on. Three years of him being tranquil had taken it's toll. He wasn't her love.

Newly reborn, only to wake up with grief in his heart.

 

He stayed long at the pyre, next to his mentors hot ashes. Rhys stayed by his side, but even he tired, clapped his shoulder and turned away.

She stood far away, watching as he broken fell to his knees, cursing his inability to save one his cherished friends. 

And she left him, for a second time.  

His eyes did not dare to focus on her. As he turned and walked away, rejected and alone she lowered her head and stared into the ground.  

 _"_ _Sorry. "_

 

She lost all control over herself as the tears erupted, and the thing she had picked up from the bottom of the letter slowly fell from her hands, swaying in the air and finally landed on the cold, stone chantry floor.

A small, frail, dried wildflower with a sweet and fragrant scent. 

 

It was white, with a red center.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A chapter about Leliana and her soldier-- I mean mage. 
> 
> Finally, Ithilwen is showing some leader qualities. I think that for the moment she hadn't shown anything that makes her a worthy Inquisitor, but I am trying to rush them up. Her going on a trip to save some soldiers seems like a good step to begin with.
> 
> I thought it would be weird if Alistair was the only one with a love interest. We all bump in to someone sooner or later, and I mean, she ain't to weird looking. There is bound to be someone out there for the little spymaster. Why not Mr. Amell?
> 
> The song in the beginning is the same that Leliana sings in Dragon Age Origins after compleating Nature of the Beast. The full translation can be found here : http://dragonage.wikia.com/wiki/Elven_language


	24. Renewed opinions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Never be distressed if someone show you another side of themselves. It doesn't necessarily mean that they have deceived you by never displaying it. It could as equally mean that they are rewarding you with something they never would give another.

" Thank you for coming. Maybe you can solve this mess. "

 

Scout Harding, the dwarven rogue, sometimes impossible to spot once she had her hood on welcomed them as the small party of Bull, Blackwall, Sera and Ithilwen rode into one of the main camps just outside a swamp.

Ithilwen had met Harding once before, breifly a few months back when she, Varric, Cassandra and Solas first went the Hinterlands in their search for mother Giselle.

Ithilwen jumped off Dukes back, nodded in greeting towards Harding who did the same in return and handed over the reins to one of the Inquisition soldiers. Harding then turned and led the party inside one of the newly risen square tents a few yards away. Iron Bull crouched and was just about to enter when one of his horns got trapped in one of the strings. Sera as well as some of the other Inquisition soldiers began to shout and waved their hands hysterically as he tried to force himself free by dragging his head back, almost pulling the tent down. The blonde hit him in the head with the back of her hand and cursed loudly as she brought forward her small knife, cutting him free. The string was quickly  fixed  with a few knots. Sera proudly pointed at her work, laughed and went in after the group inside.

The horned giant pouted as Blackwall ordered for him to sit inside the tent, for he was too large not to cause ruckus. Harding stared at them all, sighed and turned her attention back to Ithilwen who tiredly stood at the side with her right hand over her face, trying to block out the embarrassment she felt.

" As I wrote in my report : Our missing patrols are being held hostage by the avvar, barbarians from the mountains. "

Ithilwen shook her shoulders and looked down on the smaller woman. " What are they doing in a bog? "

" Bog. " Sera repeated after her and placed herself next to Ithilwen with her arms crossed. " Bog. It even sounds ridiculous. " The Iron Bull couldn't help letting his face grin from his position, but as soon as he saw the disturbed expression on Harding he cleared his throat and focused on what was being said.

" That's the thing. " Harding continued." Their leader.. He wants to fight you. Because you're the Herald of Andraste. "

Blackwall furrowed his brows and took a step closer so that he was at the other side of Ithilwen. " What do they have against Andraste? "

" Well.. " Harding looked up, feeling rather uncomfortable with the grizzled mans eyes. " The avvar think there are gods in nature. As in, the sky has a god, and the Forest. " She looked back to Ithilwen with a worried expression and folded her hands behind her back. " The Avvar say that you're claiming to be sent by one, and they'll challenge the will your god with their own. " The dwarf then grew an angry snarl as she spit on the ground. " I think their leaders just a boastful little prick who wants to brag that he killed you. "

Ithilwen looked to the side. Her eyes went sharper as she stared out at the cloudy sky that never seemed to stop raining. " Have any of you made any contact with them so far? "

Harding shook her head. " We've tried a few times, but I fear violence is the only method working on them. These Avvar don't seem to value Diplomacy. " She waved them to follow her to the small table in the middle of the tent. She stepped up on a small stool for the table's high reached her shoulders. A map over the area was resting on it's surface and it had been scribbled all over. Some paths had been crossed. Despite Bull sitting he still had a clear wiew of the paper.

" Getting to our troops wont be easy. You'll have to fight your way through undead--" She quickly titled her head to the side as she heard Sera groan. " Wait, you're not squeamish about the undead, are you? "

Ithilwen scoffed and leaned on her hip as she observed the map and traced one of the paths with her finger. " Hardly. If anything they are slow and have no resilience against blows or fire. "

The freckled dwarf let out a small laugh. " You know, I'm really glad to have a dalish elf as my superior sometimes. You don't seem to be afraid of anything, and if you are you would make no show off it. " She turned back to the table and pointed at the other side of the map that had been circled with coal. " The Avvar are holded up in a ruined castle on the other side of the swamp. Maker willing, the Inquisition's people are still alive. "

" Don't worry. " Ithilwen slowly straightend up and buckled her knuckles as she looked out through the tents opening with a thin line for a mouth. " Should they be anything but alive it will be the those barbarians that shan't see another sunrise. " 

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

"You must be pleased, apostate. Your rebels have won the favor of the Inquisition. "

 

Solas turned half around, observing the Enchantress with the ornated two horned hat who stood by the door, holding a small cup. He placed the book he had kept himself busy reading on the table he was sitting by.  

" My rebels? Am I an agent for their cause, whispering poison into the Inquisition's ears? " He slowly shook his head and went back to his book. " How comforting. "

She placed herself at the other side of the table " You enjoy seeing yourself as a villain? "

" No more than any other clever man who wonders what he could do if pushed. " He lowered his book just slightly to get a better wiew of the expression that grew on her face. " But I met you, Enchanter. How comforting it must be, for you to see a traitor helping the rebels from within. You need never concern yourself with the possibility that your Circle was wrong. "

 

He had in fact, been very pleased with the developement of the Inquisition so far. And somewhat suprised in the same time.

He knew well how bad their Herald thought of magic. How she resented and seemed to fear it. Yet she had given them a chance. Not only because they needed it, but because they are living people. Some of the others lacking the magical aptitude, like Cassandra or Iron Bull had been reluctant, but agreed to the necessity. While others, like Sera had openly protested against the new alliance.

_" Chasing mages? That's a templar's job. A big, armored, pissed-off helm-polisher. Not too late to find some. "_

He had felt even prouder as she calmly explained, instead of yelling her to fall back in line. He wondered where she had been taught to handle such distress from others.

Had the duties thrown at her by the Inquisition horned her qualities for leadership? If anything everyone he had talked with in Haven seemed to think her the vital person to impress, the person to seek council from. Even if she was one the youngest. A dalish elf, bred from those often confused with savages praying on solidary farmers and travelers on the roads. And she was now considered one of the higher standing in an organisation doing the makers work. It was a bizzare thought, indeed.

Or was completely the marks influence? Did they think by pleasing her they would be securing a seat next to their maker?

 

_" Your future self told me about her transformations, and that it was being caused by the mark. "_

_" I did? "_

_" You had to."_

_" Does this have anything to do about the commander? "_

_" Not only him. "_

Surprised he had looked back at the Tevinter mage. If he had come to break one his his promises to her she must have been in grave danger in that wretched time.

But it had brought her friendship with someone else, and it pleased him greatly, for she desperately needed someone that could bring her comfort. Though he wondered with some jealousy what the Tevinter had to offer instead of him.

He would normally not lose himself in such thoughts, and surprised rubbed the back of his head with one slow stroke.

She has brought more light than the Fade ever could, and was directing him to stranger tides.

Just like the vast sea she carried depth and many hidden splendors he longed to unravel.

 

And just like the sea she was dangerous.

 

Not for the Inquisition, and the people leading it.

But for him.

The affection and fixation he felt building up could--would only end badly. 

Even so he had a hard time to steer himself in another direction.

 

" Official mage to the Orlesian Imperial Court? That sounds exciting. "

Solas, as well as the Enchanter turned around and found Dorian standing where Vivienne had been only a short moment ago. Solas nodded in greeting, turned and returned to his book. Dorian nodded back and placed himself next to Vivienne who only scoffed in response.

" It is an esteemed position, darling, that many mages would envy. "

The younger mage grew a smug expression on his face as he rested it in his hand against the wooden surface. " Yes, being paraded about like an exotic peacock is better than running frantically from templars. "

" Better an exotic peacock than one Tevinter rat amongst many. " The Enchantress dryly responded.

" Oh, a dig at my homeland? " Dorian's grin only deepend as he leaned down just a little in his hand. " My dear Enchanter, are you saying you  _wouldn't_  rather live in a country where mages aren't herded into cages like dogs? "

" Which country is that? " Vivienne asked with an amused tone as she stirred her cup in the air. " The one where mages are feared and despised as tyrants? "

" I'm the first to admit magisters aren't perfect, but they've also done great things. " He let his other hand reach the table as he stated the fact. " They're  _allowed_  to. "

Here the Enchantress smiled with cold eyes.  " Monstrous things as well, or you wouldn't be here, would you? "

Dorian sighed. " Locking people into cages isn't the answer. "

" And letting them run amock inside the chantry halls is? " The Enchantress snorted once more and raised her hand. " They have just gotten the first bite of the cake, but do you think they will stop with the peice they already have? " She crossed her legs and leaned back against her chair, proclaiming the confidence she surrounded herself with. " No, my dear, _young_ Dorian. They will want the slice you have. Then mine, and then the rest of Thedas will before you even know it become their buffet table. " The enchantress nodded in her amusement as she saw the bitter resentment grow in Dorian's face. " Your country is the perfect example of the strongest praying on the weakest. "

" Have some faith in our Herald. " Solas added from behind his raised book. " It is to soon to speculate on what might or not might happen. "

 The Enchantress slowly blinked and furrowed her brows as she took a small sip at her tea. " I will make sure to make her see the right path, once she returns. "

Solas instantly put down his book and looked at the human woman without being able to hide the irritation he felt brewing. " She went out, again? "

" Didn't you know? " Her brow arched just slightly as his lowered. " She rode off together with Blackwall, Iron Bull and Sera just a few hours ago. "

She did not manage to speak further before the older elf had taken his coat and run through the door. She coaxed her head back to Dorian at her side, who didn't look particularly surprised at his reaction.

 

" Indulge, me Dorian. Is it my imagination, or have certain.. Lingering looks passed between the Herald and our Solas? "

 

                                                                                                     ~*...*~

 

" Sera, I had a thought. "

The Iron Bull hapily roared as he pulled his sword from the bony body on the ground. The motion gave away a disgusting noise as the flesh worked against his pull. Ithilwen stood by the side, wiping off her small daggers from blood.

 

It made her think more closely about her own current situation.

Many of the weapons she had carried had been lost one way or another during her stay with the Inquisition. Her first shortsword that she had received by Deshanna, a lighter version of a popular elvhen dagger called Dar'Misu, had been taken, and never returned. It had probably ended up in some merchants pocket. She had asked Seggrit if he knew anything, but he had claimed to have no knowledge about it's whereabouts.

The weapons she until now had carried had been lost in the tumult when she and Dorian got thrown into the future, and there was no way of getting them back. They did not exist, in a sense.

And now, she had resorted to a pair given by the smith, Harriet. They weren't worse than what she had earlier, but they weren't designed for stealth in the manner she used it.

Just before her ride she had considered using the green blade she had received in the future, but changed her mind just before going. She did not dare to touch it, for not only did it bring bad memories, it seemed to react negatively with the mark on her hand. Maybe it was because it had been touched by one of the rifts.

She did not trust to leave it either. Whatever the weapon had become it held power. And items with magical abilities should never be safe let lying around, least a child or some fool in their attempts would hurt others. She would need to come up with a better plan later. Either by giving it to the Inquisition, or Solas.

He was a neverending well with knowledge when it came to magical constructions. Perhaps he would know how to get rid of it or maybe temper it power safely.

Or she could give it to Deshanna.

But frankly she did not trust her with it. She was her keeper, true, and she was wise. But what of rest in her clan? They would most certanily look at it differently.

She knew her breathren for who they were and they would no doubt misuse it to their own advantage. In worst case kill someone unintentionally.

No. It will need to stay with the Inquisition.

 

Ithilwen finished wiping of the blood and neatly sheated the two dagger back in their fold on her back and looked at Bull who exietly raised his hands in the air.

 He had ro shout because of the laud sound from the insects that buzzed in the swamps and the ecchoe of rain that would hammer into the ground.  " The next time we run into a line of enemies, I'll pick you up and throw you. "

" Get off. "

" No! This could work! " Bull insisted as he sheated his enormous sword on his back. " I loft you over the front rank, and you land behind them to flank... Mayhem ensues! "

Sera turned around, holding her simple wodden bow ready against the lake in case any more of the dead would return from the murky water. "  I can't fly, you daft tit! "

" Think of the mayhem, Sera! Maaaayheeem! "

" I'd get a wedge-up something fierce! "

" Bull stepped out on a small plank, acting as a bridge towards another small rock island. " Look, you and Varric are the only ones small enough and he's.. Pretty dense. "

" Well, do some bloody presses! "

Ithilwen laughed as they made they crossed the slippery board. Blackwall with his heavy warden armor suddenly lost his footing, but Ithilwen caught him with her left hand just as he was about to fall. The warden, as well as the others stared as she held the man in the air as if he had been a kitten and placed him back on the plank. She ignored the puzzled looks and observed the water that seemed to have a will on it's own.

" Careful. I think disturbing the water was what brought them out the first time. "

"  It's so wet. " The warden grunted as he found his balance and continued forward. " Why haven't the dead rotted away? "

" Yeah, boss. " Iron Bull asked as he jumped forward and landed on the solid rock instead of the plank and reached out his hand, taking hold of Blackwall's, leading him to the shore. " You're the magical expert. Why are there so many undead here? " 

With a gush of her wind she jumped and landed perfectly next to the giant and the warden. She gave the surroundings a quick observation and placed herself on the top pf the small rock island. " This place is Setheneran. "

" Too Elfy! " Sera shouted from far back behind the others.

" Ir abelas, Sera. " Ithilwen giggled and settled her breath. " It means _: Land of waking dreams,_  a place where the veil is thin. " She looked over her shoulder and out on the open water with it's many small islands. Spirits seemed to roam free everywhere, and she consantly felt a nag in her arm. It took her a great deal of concentration to keep the hand still. " Spirits and demons press against the veil between the Beyond and our world harder where it's been much death. "

Sera only pointed out her tongue and pinched her nose. " Well, the Veil smells like arse here. "

Ithilwen turned to the side and looked at Sera. She remembered the time when they first had met, and the weird vibe that had made her feel worried around her. If she had abillities simular to hers it would no longer suprise her. She had seen all kinds of weird, as Sera would have called it, these last couple of months.

 _Nothing_  seemed to be impossible in their world.

After a short moment she looked down on the others. " That's because there was a plauge here, reacently. "

" How would you know? " Blackwall asked with low brows. Ithilwen pointed towards black smoke on the other side of the small hill they stood on.

" Ehhhh.. " Sera grunted and pinched her nosetrails even harder as they saw what had caused the black clouds. " They're all slimey. " **  
**

Iron Bull grunted and covered his mouth as soon as he saw the pile of burned bodies. " I guess the illness still hasn't died out in this warm and moist climate. "

Ithilwen brought the scarf around her neck up over her nose and mouth. " We should burn our clothes later. Keeping them would be too risky. "

 

                                                                                                      ~*...*~

" Where? "

The Commander did not bother to turn in greeting, only waved his hand back when he heard the door get thrown open. He squinted his eyes felt the light.

" The Fallow Mire. " He laid the document he held in his hand on the war table, next to a small pile he was holding himself busy with. " Some of our soldiers have been missing and we finally got news of their whereabouts. She decided to go there. "

" Her arm has yet to heal. "

" I know. "

Solas scoffed up in the air and threw his hands on the table. " Then why would you allow her to do such a thing? She is needed here! "

Cullen banged the table in return, silencing the elf. " What kind of orginization would we be if we sold out our own? "

" And when she returns back in pieces? What will you do then? " Solas continued as the commander's fist clenched hard inside his glove.

He didn't need a reminder on her condition. He trembled as he rose up from the chair and held up his finger in a threatening gesture. " Rant all you want. I don't answer to you, _apostate_. And I needn't explain my actions to the likes of you. "

Solas ignored his attack and continued on the previous subject. " Believe it or not, Commander, but she is the invisible thread that keeps this Inquisition stitched together. Lose her and you lose the mages that will seal the Breach. "

 

" And hadn't it been for her the templars could have achieved that. "

 

Unable to hide his shock Solas dropped his jaw. " Are you serious? "

Cullen instantly regretted his words and looked up at the other man on the other side of the table. " I did not mean.. " He sighed and fell into his chair as he rubbed his temples.

Solas squinted his eyes as he saw the commanders hands shiver. He looked pale, and he seemed to be sweating. But his frustration made him see red. He let out a long breath as he settled his hands on his hips and looked around the room while chewing on his lower lip in his annoyance.

" She went out on her own. In the meantime we are to prepare the mages for the assult on the breach. " Solas looked back at Cullen, still annoyed but calmer. " We have also been trying to get invitations so that she can talk with the templars, but so far they have remained silent. " He looked down on his report. Solas gave the man an unforgiving stare and then looked down on the table.

" Have you ever considered asking her if she wants to meet them before you expose her to the tip of their swords? "

" She was the one that suggested it. "

Solas quickly dashed his head back towards Cullen. He had a very hard time believing that she openly would agree to an alliance with the templars. She had at several occasions declared that she saw no future with the circles and supported freedom for mages, despite her own fears.

Because they are people as well. That is what she had said.

Cullen leaned forward and grabbed a list on the table. " Once she returns she will take on the Breach, then seek out the templars. She had intended to do it the other way around, but then we got the news about those troops. " 

 

The room turned awkwardly silent for a long time and Solas too placed himself in a chair, although at the other side of the table. He slowly leaned against the back and crossed his legs as he stared up in the ceiling. He felt drained, of both will and energy. The debate had taken a completely new turn.

 

" I think she did the right thing, despite.. " Solas looked up and saw Cullen as he rested his head against his hand in his chair.

" Truth be told I admire what she has done. " He then looked to one of the small statuette on the world map, right over Redcliffe. His hand slowly reached out, picked it up and held it in his hand. " Hardly anyone, with the exception of Amell got hurt in the process. Few could have managed it. Not only that, she received vital information that will guide us in the future. "

Solas clenched his teeth and let out a breath through his nose. " Then why did you argue with her? "

Cullen looked up on Solas with his eyes, then at the map on the table. " I don't know. " He straightened up and fell back in his chair. " I suppose old dogs never learn how to sit. " He caught his neck and lowered himself back as he stared up at the old ceiling. " She's constantly out there, fighting for us, and takes on all the burden of our Inquisition. "

Solas observed as the commander spoke, slow and calm with eyes that began to shine with awe and exilliration. " She seemed so frail and inexperienced in the beginning, and now she makes the big decisions. It just falls to her so naturally and I couldn't pitchure myself anyone else up for the task. Not because of her given title, mind you. " He turned his head to Solas who had risen an eyebrow. " I dare say that I trust her, with my own life. " 

Solas looked at the commander, feeling somewhat out of place. But he knew exactly what he meant.

The girl had charisma and showed prowess, despite her many faults. In time, she could become a great mage, or even a great leader. All she needed was time and good guidance.

" She has led us far. " He finally said as the room had fallen scilent for second time.

Cullen slightly smiled with the corner of his mouth and looked back at Solas.

" Agreed. "

                                                                                                     ~*...*~

 

" You're doing that on purpose, aren't you? "

Bull only widened his smile as he pulled back his sword from the corpse he had entangled with, confirming her question. She rolled her eyes in turn and looked over the landscape. " Well, let that be the last one. " She sighed and raised her hand as she scanned the area. " It can't be far now. "

" Maybe we should stop for the day. " Blackwall grunted as he placed himself on a rock with a heavy breath. She looked over him, then at the others that panted.

She may have been used to run for days, but these people carried heavier armors and weapons than her. With the exception from her daggers she hardly wore anything made out from metal. At most she had shoulder patches and a chest piece made out from halla leather. Blackwall was all covered by his blue and silver colored metal armor and was bound to get drained quickly.

She turned back to the warden and nodded. " Alright. Let's make camp. "

Blackwall and The Iron Bull let down their packs and began to drag out the tent they had been carrying. Normally they would have let their mounts carry it, but in this terrein it would only be impossible for them to get a solid grip and had left them back with Harding and her men. Instead they had taken turns carrying one tent. It would be crowded, but at least warm if they all shared one.

That was also a new thing. She and Sadron had never used a tent when they travelled together. The open starlit sky had been their roof, and she did miss it. But the Free Marches was a lot warmer in climate, and it did not rain as often as it did in Ferelden. This far south seemed even more moist and rainy.

Ithilwen turned to the side. " I'm going to get some wood. "

" I'll go with you ! " Sera happily ran towards her, but stopped and grunted when she stepped down in a pool with water. " Ah darn it! Going to be all soggy now! "

Ithilwen turned around and looked at her wet foot. " Why not take them off?  "

" Because duh, Ferelden. It's wet all over. " Sera snorted back.

Ithilwen slowly turned around ." But, you're an elf. "

" Still bloody cold, genius. " 

Ithilwen rolled her eyes and reached out her hand. " Give it here. "

Sera looked up, squinted her eyes. She quickly picked it up and threw the boot at her, a bit harder then what was considered friendly, but Ithilwen easily caught it in her left hand with a casual expression. She observed the shoe a little before she reached in her hand. It was dark brown, with a thick and short heel and light brown string. A bit clunky, but interesting at the same time. When she was done she threw the boot back to the other elf.

" Here, should be dry now. "

Sera cooed when she felt the heat from the inside and instantly dragged it on, while Ithilwen looked down at her own naked feet, wrapped in grey cloth around the ankles.

They had swollen up because of the water, and her thin toes were all wrinkled like dried fruit. It wasn't that troublesome, but she did feel a bit tired in them. For the first time ever she considered getting a pair of shoes of her own. Elves would normally not wear them, because they had a different skin than humans. Cold did not affect them in the same way.

City elves did share this thing, yet they prefered the cloth around their feet.

" Sera. " She looked up again. " Where are you from, really? "

" Ferelden? "

" I got that part, judging your accent. Where in Ferelden? "

" All over? " She grunted as Ithilwen arched her brow. " Okay! Fine. Denerim for a bit. South. North. Wherever I want. "

Ithilwen looked at her for a short moment, turned and closed her eyes as she walked away with her arms swaying high up in the air. " Oh? You're from Wherever? I'm from North Wherever! "

Sera blinked and followed. " What? "

" North Wherever! " She teasingly hummed and trotted away. " Oh, we had fun on Street And/Or local Tavern! "

" Oh, har-dee-har. " Sera reached out her tongue. " All funny, you. " She then sighed and looked to the side, speaking with a soft tone. " It's complicated. I don't like complicated. Let's leave it at that, maybe. "

Ithilwen slowed down and turned with furrowed brows. " I'm sorry, Sera. I shouldn't have pushed. If you don't wish to talk about it I shan't ask any more. "

Sera blinked a few times, then brought up a sad smile. " Don't worry about it Ithi. Let's get that wood, because it's freezing. "

" Maybe you should have brought a pair of those breeches you stole in Val Royeaux. "

Sera looked to the side and and laughed when she saw Ithilwen grin.

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

 

" Hey, do you think they'll have pie when we get back? I could use a pie. Or three. " Sera looked down at her bowl with disapproval. Ithilwen had just returned back with a pot with water that she put on the fire.

The rest of the group laughed as they clinged close to the fire. Blackwall munched on his gruel and pointed back at Sera with his spoon. 

" That's... a lot of pie for one person. "

" You'd understand if you've ever been hungry. " She whispered as she played with the gruel in her plate. " In your bones hungry. "

The Iron Bull sighed and let his bowl fall to his knees as he looked up on the sky. " You know one thing I miss about Par Vollen? " Everyone shook their heads. Bull grinned. " Bananas. " He nudged Blackwall on the shoulder with his elbow and looked down with a suggestive smile. " They're bigger, less squishy, and _bendier_. "

Blackwall's face turned red as his voice stammered. " You're talking about the fruit, right? " There was a moment of silence, and Bulls smile only widened.

" Please, " Blackwall looked up with his red cheeks at the giant. ", tell me you're talking about the fruit. "

Sera laughed and fell to the ground, while Ithilwen scratched her head, not getting the hidden innuendo.

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

" You're not going to sleep? "

" I thought I could keep you company. "

Ithilwen smiled warmly towards Blackwall and then looked on the fire.  " Ma serannas. " 

 

They had been sitting quiet for the most part, taking in the sound of the animals shouting and the buzz of the insects. It still rained, but not as hard as before. Blackwall observed as she went up and poked around the fire.

" So. " She turned her head a bit to the side, indicating that she was listening. " When we first came to Haven, all those months back.. " He saw her await him to finish . He shut his mouth, but she patiently waited until he found his words and finally spoke. " It was so much easier to ignore when it was far away. " He then looked up at the sky, and at the Breach.

" I know. " She answered as she observed the embers. " Truth be told, I have felt more relieved whenever we've been riding away from it. "

" I can imagine. " Blackwall whispered back and nodded. " You got that thing, after all. " He saw her as she slowly lifted her bandaged hand.  " And to actually walk out of the fade.. To be that close. "

She turned her head a bit to the side " If I hadn't been saved by the Commander and those Inquisition soldiers I don't know what would have happened. "

" Cullen and soldiers? " He looked at her with an arched brow. " That's not what I've heard. "

She dashed her white head back to the fire " And right there, is the problem. " She let out a sigh as she walked back, placed herself next to him on the log and drew her legs closer in order to let her arms fold over her knees. " In the beginning I was no more then a simple elf living with my clan, and now people expect me to perform a miracle. People presume that I have some kind of devine power -- I do not. This thing on my hand is no more a blessing than a turd from a cow is considered a delicacy. "

" Well, without that turd of yours you wouldn't have been able to seal those rifts flying like farts in the middle of the air. "

She laughed bitterly and locked her eyes with his as she leaned her head to the side. " Well, without it none of this would have been here to begin with. A lot of people would still have been alive. "

" What, like the mages and the templars would have come to an agreement anyhow? "

She shrugged with an indifferent expression " I don't know. "

" And if the conflict _had_  continued? "

. " It's just.. " She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose " I don't see myself as the spinning wheel. "

" Aren't you? You are the Herald. You got that mark. And you've gathered the followers. "

" No. " Ithilwen shook her head in her disagreement. " Lady Montilyet, Sister Leliana and Commander Rutherford did. I never asked for it. "

" Willing or not you are bound to a duty, a purpose, because you are the only one that has a way of stopping this. " His eyes hooked in hers. " That mean you can be held responsible should the worst occur. "

" And that is? "

" The end of the world? "

She looked at him with round eyes, then turned her head away, " And if I don't want any of this? "

" Want is not important. " The warden stated with harsh eyes. " Your life is not yours to live, not any longer. That changed when you walked out from the fade. "

" I never asked for this responsibillity! "

When he felt his irritation grow he weighted on his seat and growled. " Even now people are flocking to your Inquisition. To serve. To die. All for you! "

" It's not my Inquisition! " She barked in response and flew up on her feet, irritated by the debate that had gotten out of hand. " It has never been mine, nor will it ever be. "

" .. Are you planning to leave? "

He felt cold when she looked back at him with an unreadable expression. The disappointment of her reluctant ways had surprised him more than he thought ever possible. The respect he ha developed for her in the beginning was slowly withering, transforming into disgust and resentment.

How could she be so selfish?

Her eyes glowed, yet he could not make out why. After a moment of silence she finally spoke, though not with the desired answer, but a response that only would puzzle him even further.

 

" If I survive. "

 

His brows as well mouth twitched in his confusion. He was just about to protest. He wanted to demand a clarification on what exactly she meant by those words when he saw something change in her posture and eyes.

Then, the wind blowed hard in his back and he gasped as she flew by him in an instant with her dagger drawn.

 

 " Are you the one that wishes to challenge me? "

 

Without any answer a pale man, large and muscular with his face covered by a leather mask suddenly emerged as took a step forward from the dark and entered the warm light given by the fire.

He did not wear any armor, showing his abnormal abdominal muscles and scars, but had covered his lower parts with skins and his feet were covered by a pair of knee high fur boots that made a squishing sound whenever he walked. In his hand he carried an unlit torch and in the other a giant stone hammer that still was covored by bloodstains.

 

Blackwall, who was slightly smaller flew up from the log, grabbed his sword that rested by the tent and placed himself next to her with his blade unsheathed. The Avvar smiled with the corners of his lips. He then looked down on Ithilwen with curiosity in his eyes.

" So, you're the Herald of Andraste? " He observed her from head to toe, amused by her size. " My kin wants you dead, lowlander. But it's not my job. No fears from me. "

She observed him quietly for a moment. In the next she let her dagger slip back in it's fold and let it hang at her side instead of her back. " How come you don't wish to battle with me? "

" It's our chieftains son that wants to fight you. " The giant snorted. " I come when the dead pile up. Rites to the gods. Mending for the bleeding.. " He trailed off as he with great interesst looked for a change in her posture when he said the next sentence. " A dagger for the dying " In the next moment he seemed angrier for he growled and spat at the ground before him. " I don't pick up a blade for a pulps trophy hunt. "

" Your kin have taken some of mine hostage. Are any of them still breathing? "

" A few were injured in the skirmish, but they were alive. Last I saw them. " His eyes squinted as he looked down on the small elf before him. " Someone's trained them well. they killed more of us than I thought they would. "

" And why are you out here? Alone? "

The white giant pointed north. " I'm trying to figure out a hole in the world. I've never seen anything like it's like. " His brows furrowed as he let his hammer fall to the ground, etting it rest against one of the trees close by and crossed his arms. " They spit out angry spirits. Endless. What the sky's trying to tell us, I don't know. "

Ithilwen pointed up at the long distant green hole between the clouds. " They are caused by the Breach in the sky. We have taken the liberty to call them faderifts. It was some kind of magic gone wrong. " 

 

Blackwall observed her face as she continued her conversation with the stranger. Keeping that particular fact of her walking out of the fade hidden may be for the better good. Who knew how he might have reacted.

 

The giant laughed with an amused tone. " I know that, Lowlander. I'm talking about the lady of the skies. " He stopped when he saw the confusion in her eyes and stared shocked at her face.

" Do you not know her? " He pointed up in the sky as his voice got lauder. " Can't you see the warnings she writes through the bird flocks in the air? "

" How interesting. " Ithilwen rested her chin in her hand and observed him as he looked up. " How belief between the people living in Ferelden differs from one another. "

The giant stopped and looked at her with angry eyes. " Call me Fereldan again, elf, and I'll see how far you get. "

Blackwall gripped tightly around the hilt of his sword and aimed to walk forward, but felt Ithilwen's hand on his arm. He twitched when he felt the sting that took over his arm. Had she been using magic on him?

She locked her eyes with the giant and growled back. " Try it. See what happends. "

The giant stood his ground and gritted his teeth, Ithilwen did the same.  But then, all of a sudden he laughed and friendly patted her shoulder.

" You are one amusing elf. Normal people would have stuttered at my threat. "

She let her hand fall of Blackwall and gestured for the giant to sit by their fire. " I know a test when I see one. "

The giant laughed once more as he placed himself on the log.

Blackwall stood at the side, observing as she placed herself next to their guest and then down at his arm where she had touched him.

 

It felt hot.

                                                                                                      ~*~

 

" Here. "

The pale giant with the hammer walked around the rift. It had been closed, but not in the right manner. Ithilwen felt her confidence shrink when she knew that she would need to reopen and then seal it, and what the cost probably would be.

She needed to keep herself sane enough to close the Breach. Who knew, maybe the smaller ones would disappear along with it. The giant who had yet to present a name or a title let his arm venture through the green light. " You see? " He then shook his head and brought back his arm that for a short moment glowed green and seemed to move on it's own, for the fingers as well as his muscles twitched fiercely around. He let out a pained hiss as he took hold of his hand. " It burns like fire. We need to mend this scar inflicted on the Lady. "

Blackwalls eyes sneakily stole glances of Ithilwen's marked arm.

And when he spotted a green crack glowing between the wrapping of the bandage pulsate he instantly felt his neck turn cold.

 

_She has been carrying that, all this time?_

 

He looked at the giant who's arm still twtiched , and as he made no attempts to hide the agony he was going through. His eyes then went down to his own hand that had been stinged by her touch.

Slowly the warden felt his breathing quicken as the realisation became clear.

Now he suddenly knew why she didn't want to remain. Why she had sheltered herself from the others all this time.

And why she called it a curse while others declared it a blessing, sent by Andraste.

 

He remembered the day by the lake before they travelled to Val Rayoux.

She had ripped those soldiers to shreds. 

 

Ithilwen calmly walked over to the rift and gave it a quick observation. " We have the advantage this time, knowing our battlefield. "

The Iron Bull walked over to her. " What are you going to do? "

" I will do like I did when I stopped the Breach from expanding. " She turned her head back and forth between Bull and the green light. " I will need to reopen it then seal it properly. It is likely that it will attract even more spirits however. Be ready at my signal. "

The others spread out, taking a defensive position. Blackwall still intensively kept his eyes locked on her arm that for a moment hesitated, then rose up in the air and began to glow.

 

                                                                                                      ~*~

 

 

" Lady of the skies! You can mend the gaps in the air? " The giant almost took hold of his forehead as he stared through the air where there once had been a green gap.

Ithilwen went a few steps back and caught her arm that moved on it's own.

And unfortunately she had been right in her thesis.

Just as she had predicted earlier the mark had spread, and it had now claimed almost all of her arm. She silently cursed and wiped away sweat from her forhead that formed like small pearls.

Rhere really was no going back now.

 

" It's what she was sent here to do. "

She quickly turned around, giving the warden a harsh look. He rewarded it by ignoring her. She twitched her eyebrows when she saw him look at her arm and moved away from his sight, uncomfterble by his gaze.

The avvar rested his arm against he giant hammer and hummed deep in his thoughts as he looked down on her small frame. " Maybe you do have a god's favour. "

Ithilwen squinted her eyes as she saw the dawn break jist over the smaller mountaintops. It had stopped raining, but the fog still claimed most of the sight. She turned to the giant who still stood dreaming. " Would you mind letting me know the direction of the keep where our soldiers are being held? "

The Aavar woke up from his thoughts and pointed southwest. " Keep to that direction. The road will get easier the longer you walk. Follow the path and through an old gate. The brat will await you in the old great hall ruin. "

" Ma serannas,  _skywatcher_. " Ithilwen slightly bowed. " I hope you will find more answers from your lady. " 

" Aye, Lowlander. " The giant straightend his back and put his hand agains this chest with a hard thumping sound.

 

" Watch the water. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to say really. At some points I hated writing this particular chapter, and sometimes I enjoyed it. I feel like there is so much I want to get in, and so little time to do it.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Ma serannas - Thank you
> 
> Ir abelas - I am sorry/I apologize


	25. A hand of a deity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time is running out, for her, and the world.

" Herald of Andraste! Face me! "

 

As the small party walked up the stairs they soon spotted a white giant, holding a great axe above his head as he began to rant to the crowd behind him. They all booed as soon as she stepped inside the dark and murky hall. There was no sign of her people, but she figured they had to be close, for she could smell something different then the sweat and dirt from the Avvar.

" Where are my people? " She yelled out, but the man only began to laugh as he stood before his throne.

" Beat me, and you'll see. "

 

Getting to the self proclaimed leader of the Avvar had not been particularly hard. Most of them attacked on sight, and The Iron Bull would happily respond with violence on his own, crushing them as soon as the first arrow came soaring. After some time they had learned and stayed away, much to the one eyed giants disappointment.

What really made it difficult was the undead.

Despite Ithilwen's ego even she had to admit herself being troubled by the rotting corpses. She had at several occasions bested them by hand, but her arm would argue back after a while. So she had spent most of her mana, sending them back to the lake.

One of the setbacks with Wind magic was that it didn't really hurt the monsters. Stunning them, maybe, but it worst case they just rose back up from the swamp, making them all the more annoying.

  
 

" Are you sure that's wise? " She asked, amused by the giants words, but they only seemed to irritate him.

" Are you calling me weak? " He suddenly screamed and brought forward his axe, two times as big as himself. Despite his clear strength it seemed like even he behind his prowess had trouble lifting it. And that offered a weakness which she could exploit. " I am the hand of Korth himself! What could a knife ear like you ever hope to accomplish in comparison to me? "

And with that he jumped forward, declining the offer she had given. She looked back to her companions.

" Stay alert, we don't know if they will honour their agreement and let us live if I beat this pulp. " She turned her head to Sera. " You have knowledge around poison, get to a higher ground and be ready with it. Iron Bull, check for any advantages, and Blackwall, keep an eye out for an escape route. "

Blackwall stared at the giant's axe and then back at his commander who seemed to breathe harder then usual.

She was tired, despite her trying to hide it.

" Are you sure you will.." 

But she had already thrown her mantle to the ground and took her place in the ring that the crowd of Avvar formed. Their leader chuckled wickedly as she stepped forward with only one of her daggers.

" Are you a fool as well as a liar? " He eyed the woman under him and took a step forward, bending down in order to observe her face. " Maybe if I go easy on you I could make you my concubine instead. That way you could make use of that sharp tongue of yours. "

Ithilwen instantly felt herself getting tense, but breathed out through her nose. She knew she was the stronger one and would not let herself getting intimidated by his poisonous words. Instead she forced herself to give the man a sly smile.

" Oh, haven't you heard? "

For a short moment he seemed to blush and she seized the opportunity to cup his cheek with her small hand, drawing him closer. Just as she reached his mouth she turned a bit to the side and whispered in his ear.

" The bigger they come.. "

Blackwall gawked when he saw the enormous man suddenly fly up in the air, spin around all the way over to his throne, landing clumsily on the belly and with the legs up. The axe remained at Ithilwen side. Even the Iron Bull blinked a few times when he saw her lift the thing up and easily held it up above her head with her left hand.

" The harder they fall. "

The giant stared with shocked eyes, then angrily growled and rushed forward. He instantly threw himself at her feet, trying to grab the axe, but she threw it to the side and it got stuck in the stone wall a few feet away. He stared once more at the young elf who had thrown his weapon so easily.

" Give me my soldiers back. "

A roar left his lips as he ran forward, trying to grasp her throat. She easily jumped up and smacked him back with her left hand, sending him flying to the other side of the room. A few of the Avvar screamed in their terror when they saw the Hand of Korth come flying in their direction.

A maniacal laugh penetrated the silence that had filled the hall, and all in it slowly turned their head to Sera who held her sides as she pointed towards the fallen Avvar from a hole in the roof. Blackwall looked up tired at the elf feeling somewhat drained, and the Iron Bull?

Well. Mostly grinned at the Warden's side.

 

" You whore. "

 

The crowd turned back to the avvar in the ground. He breathed hard and despite his face being covered by a helmet you even could trace the metal on his face turning red from the irritation. Sera laughed harder and harder from her higher position, almost falling down.

" Last chance. Give me back my men. "

 

The giant roared in his native tongue, and two more giants stepped up with weapon in their hands.

Blackwall tightend his grip around the tilt of his sword, And Bull roared with a happy grin.

" Finally! Some action! " 

 

                                                                                                    ~*~

 

" Everyone alright?" 

 

The Inquisition soldiers almost burst to tears as she stood ready at the door. Ithilwen looked around the room and saw about two dussin men and woman. Some had black eyes and bruises, but no broken bones or deep cuts.

It was only the hand of Korth that had been the oathbreaker. As soon as he layed dead on the cracked stone floor the rest has nodded in greeting and went their way.

One of the woman stepped up, halting over to Ithilwen and the others by the door. She was the one that had taken the worst beating. " Not anything we cannot handle, milady. "  She looked back to the others in the room. " I think most of us can take it from here. "

Ithilwen let out a long breath and leaned back against the wall. " That is a relief. How many of you have need of healing? "

The troop commander twitched, but then smiled brightly. " Thank you, your worship. " She pointed back towards one of they younger men with a broken nose. He gawked as she closed in and bent to her knee.

 

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

" Blackwall? "

He turned around and spotted Ithilwen who held a book in her hands. An old tomb, unfortunately a bit damaged by the moist in the air. Blackwall slowly rached out and grasped the book with shaking hands. " This is a Grey Warden journal! I've heard rumors of abandoned warden camps all over these parts.. " He looked out through one of the ruins old windows. " If we only had the time to.. "

" Of course we do. "

Blackwall looked back with a surprised expression, but then grinned. " You didn't let me finish. "

" But I know what you wish to say, and I agree. " She smiled back. " I will help you look for them. "

" Thank you. " He said with a quivering voice, but then smiled widely. " I suppose the Inquisition could benefit by finding warden material. "

 

" There lies the brat. His father, cheiftan of our holding, would duel me for his loss. "

 

Ithilwen turned and saw the giant fasinated by riftst from earlier and walked over. He looked up from pile of limbs that used to be The Hand of Korth. " If he cared enough. Your god looks after you, _Herald_. " 

 

Blackwall stood speechless far away, observing as the giant knelt and lowered his head.

" I knew it. " Bull said at his side. His voice was full of admiration, eager and pride. For what Blackwall couldn't seem to place. His eyes went back and forth between the Herald and the qunari that kept his eyes focused on only one thing in the room.

" Knew what? " He finally asked after a moment of hesitation. Though he had already figured out what.

" She's the one. " 

And with that he walked forward, leaving the warden to his own thoughts.

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" Madame Vivienne, have you seen Fiona yet? "

The Enchantress tilted her head up and looked at the commander who entered the room with a giant pile of papers. " Yes, the last has arrived. They all await you next command in the lower camps. "

" And what of.. "

" Enchanter Norman has gone to see Seeker Pentaghast. "

Cullen frowned and placed the pile with documents on his side of the table with a heavy sigh. The paperwork was piling up, and he had little time to see to the needs of the mages. Many of them had grown a new sort of confidence with the alliance, they dared to talk with the templars in a whole different manner. But that also left them with more complaints than what was usual.

His templar troops had also complained. If not for the decision, but of the uncertainty of keeping so many at the same place without keeping close eye on them. Lysette, one of the former knight captains had made her voice heard, but she did not pursue like many others had. Several times these last two weeks he had to interfere in more fights than he was used too, and it had taken a toll on his other work.

Surprisingly enough, Solas had helped most of the times. Having the help of one of the Heralds close colleagues gave the mages more reason for them to listen. Same with the Templars. Either he or Cassandra cleared whatever misunderstanding that occurred now and then.

" Ah. " Cullen exclaimed and walked over the room to one of the windows, watching the hills. " I bet he still doesn't like the conditions on which we have given him. "

" What do you expect, dear? " Vivienne shifted in her seat as she scribbled on one of the reports. " These mages may have been on the road for a long period of time, but before that they had been drowning in comforts. Many still doesn't know how to even cook or let alone wash their laundry. "

Cullen looked over the mage and walked back to the table. " Well, that fact will need to change. Now that we have an alliance with them. The Inquisition is not their personal butler to supervise their every need. "

" That will take time. Surely you know this. "

" I _do_ know, madame. "

" No need for such a petulant temper, Commander. I am just stating the obvious. "

" Apologies. "  Vivienne silently waved it off and Cullen seated himself in his chair by the war table.  " She should be back any day now. And considering that we've already secured the necessary complements I say that we could close the Breach in the end of the week. "

" You mght be right. "

The door opened and one of the Commanders young recruits in training walked in. " Jim Fisher reports. "

Cullen looked back at the boy, who stood quiet at the door. After waiting for him to talk, but reciving nothing Cullen frowned and spoke with a low, icy voice. " _Do_ go on. "

The recruit awkwardly coughed and bowed and just as he was about to go up again his sword had found itself on ground. The boy darted his gaze between the blade and the commander who narrowed his eyes at him. The boy then dashed down and fumbled with the blade a bit more as the Commander rolled his eyes. After finally setting back his weapon in the scabbard he raised his hand against his forehead and gasping for air almost screamed out the news. " The Herald has been seen crossing the bridge. "

" Perfect timing. " Vivienne quickly found herself on her legs. " I have a couple of things I wish to say to her. "

Cullen had just been on his way to lift himself, but when he saw the frown on the Enchantress he leaned back. " Of course. We're pretty much done here anyway. Thank you for the help. "

" Of course my dear. " The Iron Lady smiled softly back at the man. " It's the least I could do, since you've been busy helping sorting out our Heralds mess. "

Cullen frowned and looked up, but she had already exited.

He then looked down at his pile with paper that needed to be looked over with a deep sigh.

He did not have the time to go see her after all. 

 

                                                                                                    ~*~

 

" What? " Your job, innit? "

 

Sera, as peachy as ever jumped off her pony and handed it directly to master Dennet who glared back.

Bull laughed and gave his rains to one of the other stable boys. " Time for a drink! " He exclaimed with a deep laughter. Both Ithilwen and Blackwall glared as they walked away, leaving all the work to the others. She turned to Dennett and reached out her hand, but he shook his head back.

" Don't worry. This is what those slouches in the back are here for. " Dennet's tune had been a bit sharper when he had gestured at his stable boys.

Two younger men groaned as they heard their masters sulky voice. One of them walked forth to Ithilwen and reached out his hand.

" I can help. "

" No, your worship. You must be exhausted. " The Stable-Master gave her a determined, but polite nod. " Go and have a rest. "

She smiled towards Dennet and the man that took the reins. " Alright. Ma serannas. "

The younger man lingered his gaze a bit on her eyes, but when he heard the stable master loudly clear his voice he blushed and walked away with Duke that only snorted with low ears.

" My son. " The stablemaster grunted with a quirk at his lips. " Quick in the legs, slow in the head. But otherwise a good lad. " He smiled when he heard his son give the horse a correction as he lightend on the girth and looked back at Ithilwen with one risen brow. " I find it extrodinary that old mule of a horse always gives you his ears forward. " Dennet exlaimed with an amused grin. " He's always such a stubborn thing. But not with you. "

Ithilwen laughed and wiped off her dirty hands on her legs. " Luckey enough I was taught to ride by my father when I was small on one of the old Hallas in our clan. " Her smile vanished as soon as she remembered the animal with distaste. " The thing always loved to throw me off and bite me whenever it had the chance. "

" It gave you some skin on your nose, I bet. "

" You're telling me. " She laughed. " I don't think I've heard my father yell so much at me as he did whenever I fell off. " She trailed off when she thought of what actually _did_ happen most of the times whenever she failed at something.

 

A image, and she was trapped.

 

The noise of his grunts and the treebranch made contact with her bare skin.

The scent of his sweat mixed with her blood.

The image of his eyes shining in the dark and the marked hand curling up, catching her throat.

By every whip she spotted trails of blood fall alongside her naked arms and down into the cold, numbing water.

He always made her stand in it. that way the evidence would float away and make everyone unaware of her torment. The current of the river slowly took her pain and brought it elsewhere for someone else to see.

And just with the snap of his fingers the scars would be gone. Her outer walls had been rebuilded.

But her inner ones would break, time and time again.

 

She shook when she felt Dennet's hand on her head. His laughter filled most of her ears and brought her back to the stables where she was standing. Grateful for the distraction she looked to the side and at the man that laughed heartily and patted her head. A strange and for most people, dangerous gesture only he would attempt on her.

Dennet was one of those kinder older men with the grumpy facade that needed to learn to like you. Not from flattery, but hard work. Tall, stubborn, and a viewpoint on everything. He made it quite clear when it was something he did not like.

 _" Prove yourself worthy of his time and you have a friend for life_ , " he had said about Duke. Ithilwen figured the same could be said about the old stablemaster as well.

_" If not, bite his ear. He'll come around. "_

She had laughed. But from the arched brows she had fallen in silence and taken the rains.

" Then that must be it. " The stable master smiled and let his hand leave her head. " He knows that you don't accept bad behaviour. Now shoo, dear girl. " He waved her off. " Go eat something. Once you've slept you can brush him. "

He grinned when he saw her pout and turn. As soon as she had walked far enough his face slowly exchanged the smile to a troubled and dark expression. He kept his gaze locked on her shape as she reluctantly made her way to the village gate with deep brows. But then his eyes caught one of his stable boys talk up with one of the ladies that used to hang around he walked forward and gave the man a clutch on his back.

" I told you to clear the stable from the dung an hour ago. "

Blackwall leaned on the fence, staring with low brows over at Ithilwen that walked towards the gates. He gazed a little at the stable master who held a sad expression in his eyes, then back to her while longer, feeling his own confidence shrink.

She did not wallow in her self pity. She kept fighting, because she had too. An admirible trait.

His eyes caught a glimpse of the tomb in his saddle pack.

He had no right to judge her.

 

" And what are we supposed to do, exaktly? "

Ithilwen was just about to enter the VIllage when she spotted Cassandra, together with an elf in circle robes at the training grounds. By the tone the elf sounded irritated. It did not take better senses to hear him, he announced his anger for everyone to see. Curiosity got the better off her and so she walked over in order to have a look for herself.

" What you always do : Complain. "

The older elf snorted and let his hands rest on his hips, as if he was trying to intimidate with confidence. " We've already spoken with Commander Cullen. No one listens. "

At first Ithilwen frowned and paced up her speed. What was this? Had she not already explained the situation to her colleagues? Couldn't they stop fighting just for one lousy second?

" We want better quarters. We want the templars kept at a distance. "

And just as the nature of the Elves plead has changed, so did her interest of helping. Her speed slowed down, nearly stopping her walk.

" And some respect for-- "

" This is not the circle. " The seeker calmly folded her arms. " You mages are our allies, not our wards. Act like it. "

" How are we supposed to--"

" Deal. With. It. " Cassandra interrupted.

And finished, for she turned around, ending the conversation. The elf glared at her back for a moment more before dashing by Ithilwen without recognising her and up towards the gates.

Cassandra gave her a long look as she took her place at her side.

 

" It never ends, evidently. "

Ithilwen still had her eyes locked on the mage that infuriated screamed at a pair of soldiers as he walked away. Suddenly he tripped and fell on the ground. One of the Inquisition soldiers walk forward, offering his hand, but he rudely refused it and got up on his own, continuing through the village gates. Her eyes went back to Cassandra who frowned with a disgusted expression.

" You don't need to tell me that. "

" I just don't know who told them I'm the one to yell at. "

Ithilwen frowned in union with the older woman. " Is it that bad? "

The seeker sighed loudly and folded her arms. " The mages are here as equals. They need to get used to what that means. " Her eyes darted back to Ithilwen who stood with a puzzled look. " It is your doing, after all. _You_ created this alliance. "

Ithilwen frowned and looked back at the Inquisition soldier that had offered to help rub his neck in embarrassment, then turned back.

" Well.. " She sighed with a shaky breath. " I hope this works. What other choice do we have? "

It had been a somewhat truthful response. She, while the the others didn't have any other option.

For the first time since joining the Inquisition she wanted to tell Cassandra the truth. The truth about her mark, and what it was about to do. For she lacked the luxury of time to speak with the templars and would need to settle with the mages.

At first she thought she had more time. But it had proven to be impossible.

 

" Oh, it does sound like I'm blaming you, don't it? " Cassandra's eyes were round, and she blushed a little in her embaressment. A smile crept up as she with a soft tone whispered. " I don't disapprove. In fact, you did well. You made a decision when it needed to be made. "

Ithilwen folded her arms around one another and yawned. " From what i've seen not the best one, maybe. Many have criticised my judgement already. "

" It is hard to please everyone, but seldom the wisest course. " Cassandra continued. " Also not the goal. Order and stability for so many as possible is the best offer. " She then looked out at the sea of newly risen square tents in vibrant red and blue colors. " Here we are. I wish I could say that it was my doing. "

" It was. "

" No-- "

" It was. " Ithilwen repeated. She then looked to the side. " I am thankful to have been a part of this.. "

Their conversation died out as they calmly observed their surroundings. Ithilwen looked to the side, and at the older and wise woman next to her.

 

_It's now, or never._

 

" I've also been meaning to speak with you. "

Cassandra gave her a quick nod, indicating that she was ready to listen.

" Amell told me that Seeker Lucius was the one that had performed the rite of Tranquillity on him. "

Cassandra frowned deeply. " Yes, you wrote that in that report of yours. "

" And I would seek out the templars now but.. "

Cassandra looked at the woman that suddenly seemed to have trouble speaking. She fumbled with her hands, especially her marked one.

" I.. Thing is.. The ma--"

 

" Lady Seeker! "

 

Cassandra sighed and looked to the side. " What is it this time, Jim? "

" Enchanter Norman is at it again! "

The seeker looked back at Ithilwen who had a dark expression. " I will need to see to this. I will speak with you later. "

" Of course. " Ithilwen nodded and saw the seeker follow the young man. She then gazed down on her hand with troubled eyes and a thin mouth.

 

_Never, it seems._

                                                                                                     ~*~

 

" Since Fiona and her malcontents are joining us as allies, we need to be prepared. "

Ithilwen looked up and saw the Enchantress stand ready by the village gate. Whatever calm she had had earlier now sunk through a small hole. She really didn't have the energy to debate with her right now. Instead she sighed.

" Abominations are inevitable. " Vivienne continued as she walked up the few steps to the gates. " Cullen does not have enough templars to handle incidents. Some of the rank and file need to be trained. "

Ithilwen looked to the side with a deep frown. She _did_  agree with the enchanter, but from what she had seen just a few minutes ago the mages already seems ready to put anything moving on fire. Tension was steadily brewing, and it did not need more fodder.

" I agree that there need to be more templars, yes. But not for the moment. What these mages need is trust, not more swords. "

Vivienne coaxed her chin higher. " Have any of these men around us ever faced an abomination, my dear? Have you? " The enchantress folded her arms continued after a small paus. " The veil is broken. And the raw fade rushes out like water through a shattered leavy. You know as well as I do that mages attract demons where the veil is thin. And if demons can walk our world with no blood magic to summon them ; how safe do you think our allies are? " The enchantress turned and walked up a few steps and glared up in the sky. " There has never been a greater threat to mages than the breach. Until it is closed, no one is safe. "

" Believe me, Lady Vivienne, I have first hand experience with magic going wrong. " With an angry tone she took a step forward and held up her hand. " But just as mages are dangerous, templar secrets are. " She lowered her hand and looked at the people walking back and fourth inside the Village gates. " These people are frightened and inexperienced. Better to let the templars do their job correctly than to resort training the undisciplined. Once the Breach is closed, we will seek them out. "

 The enchantress looked at her from the side with a risen brow. " Tell me something. "

Ithilwen folded her hands behind her back and looked to the side, waiting for the Enchantress to speak further.

" As you no doubt will be have a hand shaping it, what future do you see for the mages? "

Ithilwen silently let her eyes look forward and up at the chantry. " For too long magic is feared because of superstition, because of a certain line of words. The chantry is a place for all, despite race, sex.. Or skill. " She turned her head back and sought the Vivienne's.

 

" Who knows the dangers of magic better than a mage? "

 

The Iron Lady smiled. Insidious and cunning.

" A curious idea. Such twists and turns your mind takes. It is certainly something to _consider_ , my dear. "

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" Are we ready? "

 

Cullen looked up, suprised from hearing her voice.

Her hair was damp and hanged loosely around her shoulders. She also wore a new outfit, still blue, but with long sleeves and a long skirt.

And bare legs.

He felt his cheeks burn when his eyes unknowingly traced her feet and along her thin and yet so womanly legs.

" Yes. " He responded after getting puzzled looks from the other woman in the room, though with a hoarse and somewhat high pitched tone. Leliana brow rose higher with an amused grin at his side while Cassandra and Josephine giggled as Ithilwen frowned with her mouth slightly open.

_By Andraste's flaming sword! What is up with the dalish? Strutting around half naked like.._

" Are you feeling ill, commander? "

The flush only increased as he tried to occupy himself by sorting a few papers on the table. " No. Just.. "

" It sure is hot in here! Isn't it, Cullen? " He heard Leliana at his side. He glared to the side and on the spymaster with death in his eyes. It worked little, it looked like she was about to crack any moment. He mumbled all sorts of curses as he went back to his papers.

" Quite well. " The seeker chuckled and brought forward a report. " All the mages are ready, and we have equipped them with sufficient equipment to last them for years. "

" Well, if everything is ready I dare say that we could take on the Breach tomorrow. "

The movement inside the room stopped as they all looked up at the whitehaired elf, standing in the middle.

" What? " She furrowed her brows and  scratched. " Something on my face? "

" Are you sure? " Cassandra asked with a soft voice. " Don't you wish to rest some more? "

" I think it's better to get this out of the way. " Ithilwen sighed and threw her hair back. " How long before we can assemble to troops? "

Cullen cleared his throat and looked down at the war map. " It will just take a few hours. I will let you know when we are ready. "

" Good. " She breathed out through her nose and seated herself in one of the chairs by the table. " Is there anything else I could do? "

Josephine gave her a quick observation. " Actually, I've been meaning to ask you.. " Ithilwen coaxed up her head. " I should like to know if anyone here has treated you unkindly, Herald. For being an elf? "

Ithilwen narrowed her eyes. ".. Is something happening? "

" Not at the moment. " Josephine dragged a bit in her collar around her neck. It really was hot in there. " I only wanted to make sure. If we're to convince the world that Andraste's Herald is an elf, the Inquisition must give it's utmost support. "

" Ah. " Ithilwen exclaimed in her disappointment. " So then you told them that you _do_ think I'm Andraste's chosen? "

The whole room turned quiet, and all of the advisors looked down, somewhat embarrassed at her notion.

".. Yes. " Josephine hesitantly responded after a moment of silence.

" And if I remember correctly, I asked you not to? You even asked me for my opinion on this matter. " Ithilwen quirked one of her brows. " It seems that my words weight little. "

Her tone had been harsh, but that was the only thing working on them it seemed.

She did not throw away the theories only for herself. Because she did not want them to rely on her if she would die. For now it seems to be growing though her, and if her head would be chopped off the rest of the Inquisition would wither with it.

 

_" You may utter those words now, but in time your inquisition will not be afraid to use that excuse whenever it's convenient. "_

 

She scoffed as she weighed in her seat. " Turns out that Roderic wasn't completely off in his predicament anyhow. "

Cullen felt the hair in his neck rise and insantly let his hand rub it, while Josephine rose up a little in her chair.

" Stories of 'wild dalish elves' have grown even more outrageous as people learn of you. "

 

" And how have the rumors gotten worse? "

 

She arched her brows further as she saw the disturbed expression on the ambassador and turned to Leliana.

The spymaster sighed. " I don't think it would be pleasing to hear them. "

" Give me something. " Ithilwen sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Cassandra walked fourth and placed herself between the spymaster and Ambassador. " Things like stealing children, selling peasants to slavers, burning down villages, using infants for blood magic. "

A laugh began to echo in the room. They all horrid stared down at Ithilwen that held her hand before her mouth. When she calmed down she looked up again wide an amused grin. While they all stared she smiled wider. " You forgot the part were we sacrifice young elves to our gods. "

The others that weren't as amused exchanged expressions and looked back at the young elf. Josephine scratched her head a little as she leaned forward in her chair. " Those are the stories about your fellow dalish. I won't repeat what they've said about you. "

Ithilwen leaned back and folded her arms " Isn't the magic just as much a problem as my ears? "

" It depends on which way the wind is blowing. " Cassandra said as she placed herself in a chair at her side. " _Magic is meant to serve man_. " 

" Close the Breach, and we can claim that is why Andraste chose you. " Leliana added.

" Hopefully that will be enough to replace the gossip about the Dalish. " Josephine ended.

" If I can be front, Lady Montilyet, I care little what people say about me. You needn't force others opinions. "

" And if not it may grow in the wrong end. " The Ambassador finished. " Rumors travels far, and grows absurder the longer it comes. Do not dismiss the imagination in peoples minds. It can come to eat you, in time. " She brought forward a clean paper and an inkwell together with her goosefeather. " It may help if I know more about how you and your clan lived. "

Cassandra observed with great interest as she saw Ithilwen tense up just a little in the chair. She remembered having asked about her clan several months ago.

 

_If I ever return it will be too soon._

 

Something was amiss with her clan. How or why she couldn't predict, but not all of the numbers added up.

She feared something.

" The human towns we traded with ate the same food and suffered the same weather as we did. The only difference was that they had their homes while we wandered. " Ithilwen shrugged. Her tone was somewhat dry, but not distasteful.

Unfortunately Josephine had seen that as something negative.

" That.. Must have been difficult. "

Ithilwen blinked and looked up. " I apologize, I formulated it wrongly. " She leaned back.

Many would claim that they were being forced to walk the forests. She had loved traveling, in a sense, but felt a growing love for Haven.

 

It was home. 

 _Her_ home.

 

" For instance, I have great memories of when our aravels-- " She stopped when she spotted the confusion in the other's eyes. " Our wagons," She corrected. ", turned from the plains to the woods. " She looked down at the map and let her finger gently slide just above Kirkwall. " I used to spend weeks exploring in the forest. "

Cullen felt another flush grow on his cheeks. She had said that with such a longing in her voice and especially with her eyes. But there was also a hint of sadness, pain. 

Josephine almost giggled. " You make it sound so idyllic. "

She chuckled when she saw Ithilwen blush in turn. The ambassador then let out a long sigh with a dreamy gaze. " Haven is so far from home. You must miss the people of your clan. "

Cullen, as well as Cassandra felt their blood turn cold when they saw her twitch in the chair, and the dying light in her eyes.

" I.. " She closed her mouth and she hesitantly looked around, avoiding the eyes from the rest of the small group. " Sometimes.. I don't think to much about it. " She lied. They needn't know more.

" Whatever comes, " Josephine continued. ", your role as Andraste's Herald will mark your clan in history. "

Ithilwen looked back with worry in her eyes. " Elves and fame tend to go poorly together. I hope my clan doesn't suffer for it. "

 

What really worried her was their poor way of reacting. The Dalish worshipped the gods of their ancestors. When they would hear her being called the Herald of Andraste anger would undoubtedly stir up. 

Especially for her father.

 

" We can make Inquiries as how they fare, if it worries you. " Josephine asked with a soft tone. Ithilwen shook her head.

" There's no need. It's better to leave them be. But I thank you for the offer. " She rose up from the chair and nodded to the Ambassador.

" And thank you, for asking. I am grateful for you considering of my well being. "

Josephine looked up, smiling. " Of course, thank you as well. "

" We will fetch you when the mages are ready to approach the Breach. " Cullen walked up to her and gave her a small smile. " For now you may rest. You have a big day tomorrow. "

She looked up in his eyes.

 

This could be her last chance.

 

But then again, it would be better not to.

 

Whatever would they even be talking about.?

Silly.

Unnecessary.

Better not to grow any attatchement.

Better not to leave any scars.

 

And so she nodded, exited, leaving the othes to handle the preperations.

 

As soon as she walked outside the chantry her fingers slightly loosened the wrapping of the bandage around her arm, allowing her too see one of the many new green cracks consuming her body.

" A big day. " She murmered and looked up at the breach.

 

 " If not a final one.. "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haven't been checking the spelling this time. I'm sure there are plenty of gramatical mistakes here and there. I shan't worry you about the details, but it's been a rather stressful week.
> 
> Needless to say, I'm freaked out about the continuation of this series. It's almost time to close the Breach! It's too soon! I won't be able to do this! Gaaah!
> 
> Translations :  
> Ma serannas - Thank you.


	26. White Widow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It always seems impossible until it is done.
> 
> Yes, a simple quote by Nelson Mandela, that we all should strive to achive. Turn it from ink to reality! For there are always possibillities, as long as we hope in ourselves and those around us.
> 
> Unfortunately, if you're a hyppocryte like Ithilwen are at this moment, it truly is impossible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate wallowing in pity, and there has been plenty of that these last couple of weeks. The reason is that I was hit by a car when taking my bike to work. Ended up with a lucky bargain-- Only sprained the ancle. But almost everyone has been dotting on me this last couple of weeks. 
> 
> Now, like almost two months since my last update, I've FINALLY found a chance to be alone and write! 
> 
> * Rubs hands with an evil laughter. * So let's get this shit started, shall we?

Solas was sitting in his bed, one foot above the other, using it as support for his small and worn leather book he always carried at this side. He took a great deal of care to wipe off his hand on a piece of cloth he kept at the side from the coal stuck to his fingers. He swore when he felt the skin around the nail work against him and pinch the finger a little.  
  
He noticed that he had a small cut, from where he couldn't remember. Perhaps from when he was out collecting some herbs. Most likely the embrium, it had small thorns you need to be careful around.  
  
There were two reasons for his sudden interest of strolling around the woods outside of Haven. First, Ithilwen had asked for the recipe for lyrium potions.  
  
Rather odd, since she never really used them.  
  
Stranger was that she only carried them in the thin leatherbelt around her hip. What would be the use, if not to drink them herself?  
  
And secondly-- Here he tilted his head up and laid his eyes upon a large wooden box on the counter, filled with around twenty bottles of different sizes, all glowing vibrant blue-- He had helped Adan, the alchemist, to prepare them for the Breach. Few besides him in Haven had the time to prepare. After a few unsuccessful attempts he had managed to get the dose right and produced a large amount that was awaiting them.  
  
He liked the color, but he thought less of the contents.  
  
Magic felt lighter than before. It was as if comparing it with the effects a drug. At first it's heavy and make you drowsy, but at the end it fades and it only numbs your skin. It was two seperate feelings affecting you. By the days of Arlathan magic has been but a game, you could cast a spell by simply moving your finger. Even he had to admit getting more tired from casting, and the spicy taste of the lyrium did nothing but grow the distaste he felt for this age. He held no illusion of that it would come to vanish completely in time.  
  
_Might be better off anyhow_ , He thought as he placed the cloth on his lap. People disliked magic with such great passion nowadays, even if more and more mages were born, the base of their abilities shrinked.  
  
  
But then there was cases, dangerous ones. Like Ithilwen.  
  
  
Certain specific characters, born with an enormous amount of power that could--would shake the very foundation of the world with a simple snap of their fingers.  
  
She did not simply use magic. She _breathed_ it.  
  
And not because of the mark. It gave her a neverending well with energy, but her own pool was no less impressive.  
  
She carried power, but considering her fear it would be better to keep her skills undeveloped, until she grew more confidence. Because of the mark her connection to the Fade was stronger, and her every action caused it to shake. With her current status he felt it easier to control.  
  
For even if she was of a better nature, with a conscience and a good purpose, a misstep could lead to horrific results.  
  
She must have thought the same : for she did little to trying improving. It was not a lack of skill, or even focus. But her own free will. Namely, she prefered to stay the way she was. Foolish, and wise at the same time. Whatever past she might have had it controlled her mind, and taking on that had to be the number one priority before teaching her more.  
  
As his old friend had said to him, so many times. _"Balancing herself was the first step of balancing the elements."_  
  
He sighed and looked down on the small figurine in his notebook, taking in every shape of his work. Drawing helped him keeping his mind set on something else, and the way of creation, creativity, always made him see the positive side in life. It was nothing special of note, just a few doodles he had formed out of boredom since it had been to early to sleep, but then had turned to a larger project over the amount of time he had put on it. The shape was slenderly tall and it reached up it's hands towards the dark sky. A crown made from wood anemones along with two rater detailed horns covered the base of it's head.  
  
He hadn't ment it to transform into her, but considering the shape, and the marks curling up it's back it could be none other. Many elderly elvhen during his early days had believed that your spirit was connected with the virtues of an animal, and a hart seemed most natural for her. It wasn't simply the mark of the Dalish, but it had held a specific place in Elvhenan as well.  
  
He tensed slightly when he just for one small moment thought himself see a shadow approach. It grew bigger in size, and soon the great blot with coal colored half of the page with its presence, placing itself before the white one. From the light seeping through the window it looked like the shape was almost glowing green.  
  
The white figurine slowly reached out it's arms, and grasped the great shadow that in turn held her. For a brief moment it looked blissful, tender.  
  
But when the claws scratched her shoulders, the scene took a completely different and horrific turn.  
  
The light staggered in the dark's embrace, and as it looked down on the other with it's many green eyes, too many to count. The figurine looked like it screamed when the monster licked around it's mouth before lifting it's head in an long howl.  
  
And then, in one swift movement, it leaned down, devouring her whole.  
  
  
He forced himself to blink, and he tensed up even further as his eyes once more focused on the white figurine that stood as calm as ever at against the yellowed page, holding her hands high against the sky as if nothing ever had changed. The dark shadow was gone.  
  
His body fell back with a deep thumping noise as he collided with the wall, still staring at the page.    
  
  
An omen.  
  
  
He usually did not believe in them, but this was clearly a warning. He felt his breath get stuck in his throat as he stared up towards the door. The hour was late, and there could be few reasons for her to visit. He quickly found his feet and nearly sprinted over to the door and rushed it opened before the woman even could knock.  
  
  
"Ahh.." She silently stared then cleared her throat, still holding his hand high in the air."..Solas. I was going to ask you for--"  
  
"They are ready. Come in, Seeker." He gestured back at the counter next to the door and walked inside, allowing Cassandra to step in herself. He wiped off the rest of the coal, then, walked up to a table wich surface was being occupied by large tomes, volumes and scrolls. One thing in particular was of interest at this moment, and he quickly found the clay pitcher that he picked up and poured water in a drinking glass that he offered to his guest.  
  
She waved her hand, indicating that she would leave almost right away. He took the glass back while the Seeker took a short observation to the surroundings before finally walking over to the counter where she had been directed.  
  
"You heard about tomorrow?" She asked as she lifted one of the many blue bottles.  
  
He quirked his brow and quietly hummed as he rose the small glass to his lips. "No..?"  
  
She placed the bottle with the others and turned. Both her tone and expression was neutral, calm. "We are to close the breach in the morning."  
  
  
But the message was alarming. The water had barely ventured down his throat before it came back up. Lost in his coughing the grip around the glass loosened, and it quickly found it's way to the ground. Luckily enough it did not break, because the floor was made from hardstomped earth. Instead it landed softly, digging down a little in the soil with it's edge.  
  
Cassandra reached out her hand but he waved her away before rising back up with a hoarse voice. "Excuse me?"  
  
"I have been discussing it with Commander Cullen and we both.." Cassandra sighed and folded her arms. "I do wonder though, if it wouldn't be better for her to rest another day."  
  
He straightened his back when he realised the weight in her words. " She Is here? "  
  
"Yes, she returned just a few hours ago. As far as I know she should be resting in her house." She then took the liberty to lean against the wall. She then looked a little to the side. "I worry about her. She wants to do it right in the morning but.." She hesitantly sought Solas eyes. From what she could see he seemed as nervous, and it surprised her.  
  
Solas was not the sort of character to express his own worry, though she had seen it from time to time with their Herald these last couple of months. Though if it was from a fatherly, friendly or even more.. Personal nature she couldn't figure.  
  
Not yet, anyway.  
  
".. She has been acting.. Strange-- _er_.." She added as he quirked one of his brows upwards. "-- Ever since you returned from Redcliffe." Cassandra continued as she began warming her arms with her hands. "Come to think about it.. She did want to tell me something before."  
  
"What was it?" He asked, doing his best to hide the curiosity he so deeply felt.  
  
It was intriguing, to say the least.  
  
For Ithilwen was after all not the type to seek out council, neither to ask for help or share a problem. It was most curious, and a bothersome announcement at the same time.  
  
" I don't know.. " The Seeker almost whispered as she slowly brushed her temples. "She never got to tell me, I had to shout at Norman again."  
  
  
Solas lip wrinkled up in a dryly disgust as he remembered the rather colorful character of Enchanter Norman. He was like both him and Ithilwen of the elven race, and he was a mage.  
  
Though..  
  
From the circle of Magi.  
  
He had, at a few points, reminded Solas that he had 'actual' training and knew far more then any other when it came to the arcane in theory.  
  
And in practice.  
  
..And at every turn.  
  
Solas, as friendly as ever had only smiled and nodded, not giving in to the insult he had at the tip of his tongue.  
  
As she had explained it, probably a million times now : They needed to work together.  
  
Some..  
  
..Some would just have to glide on the many waves that escaped the great tsunami she caused.  
  
  
Cassandra noticed his wrinkled lip and laughed and a little. Not because that she thought his reaction amusing, but so very similar to her own.  
  
"It is only to be expected. "The dark haired woman said as she waved a little with her hand, as if she wished the image off the elf to be gone." Now that they are allied with the Inquisition, the rebel mages are likely to enjoy more freedoms."  
  
"I expect you are correct." Solas answered as he leaned down and picked up the glass that he then put on the small table, next to the pitcher.  
  
Cassandra watched him for a short moment of silence with narrowed eyes, before finally speaking one last time. It was a statement grown from curiosity and suspicion, rather then surprise.  
  
"I thought you would be pleased."  
  
He turned a little on his head, observing the frowning features of the Seeker as he thinked and picked up the drinking glass that he had forgotten to pick up. Hadn't it been for the dark light, an amused smirk could be spotted on his lips as he deep in thought observed her features and placed it at the round table he stood next to.  
  
  


_I will be pleased when the world we share is not threatened by a blight-corrupted madman._

 

 

~*~

 

 

"Father!"

  
He quickly turned as he heard the worried shout from the great hall with a sudden and harsh heartbeat. The words echoed loudly in between the highly risen stone walls, so very old and unchanged, unlike many other holds in Thedas.  
  
Quite strange, considering how young the country actually was in comparison with many other kingdoms. Less strange because of the Orlesian occupation.  
  
Now they would joke about them, what was even the kingdom of Ferelden worth? What had it been the point of having it, besides being able to kick those slobbering fools down in the mud?  
  
That kingdom of dogs.  
  
It had been a country in turmoil, and unlike many other regents he cared little about appearances after the blight. While the city was prosper and his subject fat from gratitude, the castle still had leaking roofs and some parts was still under water. Let the walls crumble if they have to : His people's wellbeing came first.  
  
Many visitors would question his sense of taste, and had a occasion harshly whispered behind his back as he walked passed by in the drafty hall.  
  
  


_"The king in rags."_

  
_  
Yes! let me be a king in rags, if need be.  
_  
If he thought trying to claim the throne was hard, imagining how it was afterwards when he had succeeded was even more so. He was after all constantly pierced by strangers words as if they had been arrows. His every step, every breath, every gesture and every word was being studied. In case it would be possible to use it to their own advantage in the future.  
  
Being hunted across the countryside, trying to save the land from an ancient evil was naturally no easy task. Comparing ruling with that sort of journey was unthinkable. But then again, during that time he had a guiding hand that always was ready to catch his cheek and plant a pair of smooth lips upon his forehead with encouraging words.  
  


_"The king of my heart."_

  
  
He missed that voice. He missed her scent.  
  
And he especially missed her eyes. The depth, the understanding, and acceptance. That even he could be tired, that he needed to shout. That he needed a shoulder sometimes.  
  
His one, true friend.  
  
Like a spider she had trapped him in her web, and he would be devoured. Slowly and all too willingly against his own better judgement.  
  
Seldom had he met a woman of such beauty, elegans and bravery. Many had caught his eyes in the past, but he had always been way to clumsy to even manage the courage to speak with them. Girls was something new, yet so very old. Something forbidden, and intoxicating. Annoying and wonderful at the same time. The chantry did nothing if not bolster his shyness. The mothers liked to keep them that way. What better way than to shelter the genders apart, in order to keep the population in the abby from fraternizing.  
  
_"What's wrong with fraternizing?"_  
  
It had been a joke at the time, deflecting the stone cold fact.  
  
But then again, at that time he had no illusion on having to take the the throne.  
  
It was now a question he had asked himself more than he could count. Especially after the witch had vanished.  
  
Especially after _she_ had left.  
  
And then, he was gone.  
  
Food turned into ash in his mouth, wine lost its edge.  
  
The only time he had felt  truly drunk was when he was in her company.  
  
That warm, fuzzy chills that would travel alongside your neck. The heat in his throat, and the throbbing in his heart.  
  
For it wasn't just her presence that was so refreshing. It was the way, the effect she had on him. With her he felt like there was nothing in his way. Like he could do anything. Run around the world, climb the highest mountain.  
  
..Kill the Archdemon.  
  
  
His face became grim as he remembered that last night, when they thought themelves lost.  
  
And that he had walked into her room.  
  
  
And the the way he had forced her to submission..  
  
And what the result of that action had caused..  
  
  
"Where have you been!?"  
  
He looked to the side and saw the boy who had called. Incredibly white-blonde curls and almost ice blue eyes rushed down the higher plane against him in a lightening speed. With one swift move he jumped up and glided down the railing of the grand staircase like it had been a wave of water, all with incredible ease, despite wearing a light blue robe that he held high with his snow white hands.  
  
The king felt a blush coming, and his heart clenching as he closed in with every small step. While world continued, he was trapped in that moment. Helplessly hoping that it was he that the boy called for.  
  
But as soon as the child reached him he ran passed like he had been air, and the joy he had felt vanished along with the child.  
  
  
"Ow--Heey, take it easy on your old man, will you?"  
  
  
The boy snickered as he felt Amells hand in his hair. Alistair stood at the side, feeling his jaw clench, but also the sensation off an embrace. He turned and saw his own daughter holding him tightly with a flushed face and puffy eyes.  
  
She had been crying.  
  
"Papa!" She called out with a yell voice and pointed towards the other child, clinging to Amell. "Aaron's a big meanie! He frosted my favorite wooden sword! It's so cold that I can't hold it!"  
  
"What?!" Amell shouted and pulled the blonde boy in the earlobe. "What have I told you about using magic like that?" He then raised and pointed at the young girl with his wooden cane. "Now, apologize to Adele!"  
  
"Well excuuuse me, princess!" The boy flinched with one eye closed and pointed his tounge. The king sighed and gave the mage with the blue scarf a grizzled look as the young boy managed to get loose from his grasp.  
  
"This is your influence."  
  
"What can I say?" The mage almost laughed behind the palm of his hand, hiding the obvious amusement he felt for the situation. "You royal bastards are so easy to manipulate."  
  
  
  
"Ah, same old, same old."  
  
  
  
An older man had stepped inside the great room with a blonde woman a great deal years younger next to him, wearing a dark crimson velvet gown with a high neck, hiding her skin, but slimmed to her midriff while the lower part of the skirt was superbly broad, so very different from the other Ferelden womanly attire that frankly, was rather stoic and shapeless. It was quite fashionable, and closer to the themes used in Orlais.  
  
Amell's eyes instantly darkened and he slowly stretched out his body and gave the older man and woman a deep bow. For he knew that from the deep frown and the lightening in her eyes the younger of them two would no undoubtedly come with some sort of insult to his incompetence. It was right however, for he had messed up quite badly. Luckely enough it was him, and not their child that had taken the tip of the spear.  
  
"Your lordship Guerrin, Milady."  
  
The older man walked forth with his wife "As I have pointed out such many times, there is no need for such graces, Aaron. You are and will always be considered to be one of the family." He eyed the young boy at his side with a strange light in his eyes, then tilted his chin a bit higher in the air. " Speaking of which, where is my son? "  
  
"I'm here, father."  
  
Connor stepped forward from the kings side, and was instantly embraced by the woman in the dark red velvet dress. Her voice was muffled against this blue robes, and the beautiful cosmetics she had used all run down alongside her cheeks. " Mon garçon idiot! " The blonde sniffsed loudly as she devoured the boy with her arms. Connor relaxed from his tense posture and gave her a few tender strokes on her head as he leaned into her shaking arms.  
  
"Calme, mère. Je ne vais pas aller nulle part."  
  
"And why should I believe you?" She cried in her Orlesian accent with a faltering voice. "You always go where I can't reach you."  
  
"Peace, Milady." Amell softly spoke as he stepped forward with a calming and waving gesture of his cane. "Connor was under my custody. It was my fault that--"  
  
  
  
He wobbled when the strike flew over his cheek, but Alistair was ready to take hold of him before he could reach the floor. While the king stared, the mage only chewed his lower lip, for he as a parent could relate to the pain and anxiety she must have felt when her boy was gone for a second time.  
  
  
  
"Oh I know what influence you have over him!" She exclaimed in anger as her hand rose up to give him another lavette. "You and that damn warden, always meddling with our affairs!"  
  
"Isolde!" The older man gasped as he held back his wife from hitting the crippled once more. "Have some restraint. Without them Connor wouldn't be here today."  
  
"That's right!" Adele shouted as she plunged in between the older couple and pointed up, right that the lady. "The warden is a hero! She saved this country! Papa says that all the time."  
  
The younger Aaron nodded his head in agreement as his arms folded. "She is the reason we all are standing. Once I'm old enough, I want to be a warden, just like her and uncle Alistair."  
  
  
  
The king sneakily glanced down on the two children and felt his heart swell with pride, while the older man eagerly laughed and ruffled both youngsters hair wildly, much to their disapproval, the way Adele would yell and wave off his han and Aaron grunt.  
  
How proud she would have been, to see them both so strong and bright.  
  
He let his hand travel down his daughters head, giving small affectionate strokes, until his fingers reached one of her ears. He looked a little at it, following the shape of her earlobe and tip, giving it a small pinch.  
  
"Papa!" She suddenly giggled and he looked down. Adele was staring back up on him with a sour look, but she couldn't help the joy she felt, for she nearly giggled. "It tickles! Stop that!"  
  
He grinned mischievously back on the girl with a quirked brow, and she only rolled her eyes in turn. Instead she took his hand and gave it a squeeze, and he returned the gesture. His smile and attention for the situation slowly began to fade, as thoughts about his old comrade woke up in his mind for the second time that day.  
  
She had loved them so dearly, but had given them up for their own sake.  
  
For his.  
  
  
Because there was one universal and hateful truth about it all.  
  
One she had whispered with a hoarse and cracking voice as she reached forward two babes in an old dark blue cloth with the crest of a white griffon.  
  
  


_"Elf-blooded children could never take the throne."_

 

 

~*~

  
  
  


"Fiona?"

  
  
Ithilwen had just barely missed the older elf and quickly rose the bandage up her arm again. The other must have missed it though, for she looked as calm as ever when her head tilted back, and she turned.  
  
"Your worship." The enchantress nodded and rolled the scroll, and Ithilwen figured she must have been so deep in her reading that she hadn't spotted her. She smiled as she let out a small sigh of relief. She had intended to move down to her small house, but Fiona gestured for her to sit by a nearby bench, inviting her for a small chat.  
  
The younger looked a little to the side, observing the moons location. It couldn't be that late, and so she gave in and walked over to the bench with the older elf.  
  
  
It was cold, but the older woman summoned a little light in her hand, heating them both. "I have told my people to prepare, and we will go at first light."  
  
"Good." Ithilwen softly smiled with a pleased sigh. "I trust everything is well with the mages?" Ithilwen inquired as she placed herself on the bench.  
  
"Most are pleased with the alliance. Even if we wonder what happens next." Fiona smiled with a somewhat worried expression, understandable. They had been at the road for a long time, and now one goal has been achieved, through a bit insecure still.  
  
The Enchantress then turned her head a little to the side. "I should thank you. The way things ended in Redcliffe, you could have demanded anything you wished." Fiona leaned a bit forward with an unreadable expression.  
  
Unreadable, because Ithilwen could not figure if she was accusing, or thanking her.  
  
"Yet you chose to make us equal partners. I was not expecting that."  
  
A paus emerged, and for a short moment she thought. This particular debate was so tiring, and it had grown so very old. Mages or templars. Good or evil. Magic or swords. Trust or no trust.  
  
"We all make mistakes in the past." She finally answered. "In order to break this never ending cycle of hate I am willing to give the mages a chance."  
  
"That.. Is very forthcoming, milady." Ithilwen figured that her round eyes spoke of surprise from her honesty, rather then the truth behind her words. "Most would just say that they agreed and break it later."  
  
"Keep your end of the bargain and we will be fine." Ithilwen abruptly said as her head leaned back against the wall. But the grateful look that the enchanter had given her slowly transformed to round eyes when she continued.  
  
"I hope you will see the necessity in Templars as well."  
  
The Enchantress stared. Truly stared, as if she could not believe her own two ears. "You mean to tell me that you wish to leave yourself with that order?"  
  
  
"Yes."  
  
  
The answer had been rapid, and it seemed to anger the older woman next to her, for she flew up on her two feet and blocked the light from the moon before her on the bench.  
  
"Are you insane?"  
  
"Surely this does not suprise you?" Ithilwen said with an indifferent voice as the other woman dropped her jaw. "The soul purpose the Inquisition was created was for this : to settle peace between your factions."  
  
"..And what of the mages?" Fiona asked after one long moment of hesitation. You could easily spot the distress, the disappointment and anger behind her facade, for a vein throbbed on her neck. "What about our agreement?"  
  
This time Ithilwen actually turned to meet the other debutants face. Her expression was entirely neutral, and it was hard to spot if she either favoured either of the groups that she wanted to join.  
  
"Our agreement is not threatened by an alliance with the order. We have sworn to stand behind you, if you do the same. A treaty with the templars would not hurt either the mages nor the Inquisition."  
  
The enchanter only rose her hand in turn, clensingh together her fingers in a threatining gesture before her face. Her face was white from anger, and it looked as if she was trying to scold a younger child.  
  
In the circle it always had a great effect on her students. For she was the sort of woman never to be sarcastic. If she made a threat, a face, you belived it to be true.  
  
  
  
" Have you been keeping your fingers in your ears and your eyes shut this whole time? " The grand Enchanters voice was extreamly cold and low, as the hand closed in to Ithilwen's face, who made no expression what so ever. If anything a strike only would make her more determined. "  
  
"You are dooming us to another system like the circle! The templars would push us back into submission, with collars around our necks!"  
  


"Grow up."

 

Fiona's eyes grew round as Ithilwen casually rose to her feet and closed their distance. Her face was so close that she could feel her breath against her own. The feeling she received was like she was about to get swallowed by a great beast that had been forcefully driven into a corner.  
  
This time the younger elf's voice had been cold, and accusing. Her hand quickly found her chest, poking it hard.  
  
The hidden threat had worked, for she had already taken several steps back.  
  
"Thousands of innocents, that never have seen the tip of a spear, got caught between in the process, because neither of you could lay down weapons out of your own spite and ignorance."  
  
Fiona stopped and rose her hand back up, pointing high up at the Breach.  
  
"Then tell me, all high and mighty. What do you think the Conclave was for?"  
  
"Don't patronize me." The elf's eyes become thinner and her voice deeper as she spoke behind clenched teeth. "You! None other than you still had the responsibility behind a large group."  
  
  
The Enchanter bit back her voice and turned. It was obvious that the Herald she had sought refuge with had trapped her in a new cage, and she had to go, now.  
  
She was about to walk away, but stopped by Ithilwen's right hand that swung her back to face her.  
  
  


"We are _not_ done."

  
  
The grip had been hard, and unforgiving, but it made her stop as she forcefully had to pull her head back up to face the young girl.  
  
"You would be a fool if you thought the mages to be the only ones that has suffered in this war. You despise templars from your history, but you forget to count in the eons of evil that the Tevinter Imperium forced upon the none magically gifted."  
  
Fiona drew a sharp breath as she bitterly remembered, then looked down on the ground. After a long moment of silence Ithilwen let go of her wrist and caught her shoulder instead, giving it an gentle squeeze. Ithilwen smiled as she saw that her words not had been ignored this time, and tenderly whispered as her hand travelled along side her arm and took hold of hers.  
  
Fiona looked up as she felt her hand entangled in the youngers.  
  
"We are _all_ part of this world, Fiona."  
  
As she looked up, she was met by the warmth of her eyes, and a young face filled with sorrow. Now her voice had been soft, and the gentle squeeze had been warm and filled with sympathy. The fire in the older elves eyes slowly died, and the anger that had taken hold of her slowly ran out, and as she stared into the younger elfs smile she felt her own heart melt.  
  
She reminded her of a mother, scolding her child only to explain the wrong that she, the child, would have committed.  
  
And even if the Herald could be a bit ignorant, simpleminded even, she had been completely right.  
  
The Enchantress now understood why Leliana and Cassandra both had revered her so.  
  
It was if Justinia herself had been reborn.  
  
"Please, try to get along this time." Ithilwen softly whispered as she looked deep into the eyes of the older woman, who only stared back. "Forgive, and look past whatever has happened. Let it be a new beginning."  
  
  
Ashamed the older let her other hand found their joined ones, and too embarrassed she let her eyes rest on the snow instead of the features of the Herald.  
  
"It.. Will not be as easy as you might think."  
  
Ithilwen smiled softly, took a little breath and looked out on the golden sea created by candles around Haven.  
  
  
"It always seems impossible until it is done."  
  
  
And as her hand left, and she began to walk away Fiona oddly enough stared, as if she couldn't phantom on what had just occurred. She looked after the elf that only became smaller with every step and quickly found the courage to cry after her.  
  
For like an ignorant and naive child she needed the answer of the wise and all knowing mother.  
  
Something that had been tearing her apart for almost thirty years. A decision she knew had been right, but still scared her beneath her surface. It wasn't something that could be healed by magic, nor a mixture. It was too late for that.  
  
"Before you go, Milady. A question?"  
  
  
She turned, and met with the eyes of the older elven woman who still stood by the old wooden bench close to the Chantry building. Ithilwen nodded and Fiona came to her with fidgeting fingers as she stared down in the snow.  
  
"In Redcliffe, after we left, did you perhaps speak with his majesty? Considering who you are.."  
  
Ithilwen coaxed her head a little to the side. She felt curiosity, and a bit complexed about the question. The meeting had after all not been all that pleasant.  
  
No, even if it had been a very ripe subject, and even if she like a crow had gulped down the information about Seeker Lambert, her bowel felt full already. Though it was probably not the dialogue she had shared with Amell that would be of interest to the other, and therefore saw no reason to deny the woman any answers, whatever they might incline.  
  
"I did have a brief conversation with him, but that was in company with Amell." Here she tilted her head even further to the side as she saw something glow in Fiona's eyes. "Why?"  
  
Ithilwen felt a vibe when she saw Fiona smile, goofy and as if she was lost in a dream. "I happend to know his father, King Maric.. A long time ago."  
  
She shrugged and folded her arms. It did not seem all that of interesting all of a sudden and as a yawn left her lips she groggily looked to the side with a waving gesture. "I could introduce you, if you wish."  
  
"No!"  
  
The enchanter suddenly waved her hands desperately, which caught Ithilwen's interest anew. "It.. Is to late for that." The Enchantress arms relaxed as she dreamily looked out at the Village. "I just wanted to make sure that he was happy. His.. Father had such hopes for him." She turned her head back.  
  
  
"Don't mind me, Milady Lavellan. The concerns of an old woman. Nothing more."  
  
  
Ithilwen nodded in farewell, somewhat confused by what had just occured. It seemed.. Odd that she would want information about him. She saw the Enchanter enter the Chantry building and turned to head down herself. She stopped when she saw a couple of priests and instead walked towards the Tavern.  
  
Alistair Theirin was the king, and yes, he had been a grey warden, but otherwise there was little else that would interest a mage. Little of a connection. She was in the middle of a yawn when it suddenly occurred to her.  
  


_Wait._

 

_She said that she knew his father-- What would--_

 

  
  
"Your worship."  
  
She jumped high when she heard the deep and firm tone and stared to the side, at a form that almost bent in laughter.  
  
A man--  
  
..No..  
  
A woman?  
  
It was hard to tell. The face had womanly features, bigger and puffier lips. Higher cheeks, a short nose and smooth skin. But by the way he or she walked the stranger wanted to look like a man. And the smell was undoubtedly female.  
  
She stared, and it took a an polite clearing from the stranger's throat to wake her up from the deep dream she was in. Her cheeks instantly flushed and she quickly murmured behind her hand, trying to hide her red face.  
  
"I apologize. I can't.." She shook her head a little then looked up again. Too tired to be overly polite, and too eager to walk around in circles she made a clear stance. "Have we met? You look familiar."  
  
"Ah. I'd figured you wouldn't be able to remember me." The stranger chuckled and reached forth his hand. "Cremisius Aclassi. I'm one of the Bull's chargers."  
  
She took his hand, shaking it firmly. Most would stare as she really squeezed their hands in greeting, but she prefered that over the dead, cold fish that people sometimes would throw at her.  
  
"Ithilwen, of Clan Lavellan." She then pulled back her hand and gave Cremisius a small observation.  
  
Bulls chargers? She swore she could have seen the man-woman from somewhere, but not when. "I'm really drawing a blank here, My lord Cremisius," She finally gasped in annoyance and caught one of her tempels. ", but I really can't remember where we might have met."  
  
"Hah!" The young man suddenly laughed with wide eyes. "I'm just a soldier. Call me Krem, your worship."  
  
_Aha!_ She thought as she observed his features further. _Then this is the person that Bull always speaks so highly about._  
  
  
She had often heard Bull brag about one of his closest men, a man named Krem when they spoke of his past. He was most of the time the butt of his jokes, and Bull loved to make a fool out of him. A strange behaviour to act like that around a friend, Ithilwen would think as she had heard the giant tell one of their battle stories around the campfire.  
  
Krem on the other hand must have thought that her blank expression was from uncertainty and waved a little with his hand.  
  
"It's fine. Really." He reassured her when she slightly arched her brow. "It's Tevinter." He then sighed and looked a little to the side with his eyes, clearly uncomfortable with the subject. "Most people have a hard time taking the help from a tevine, so do me the honor to call me by my nickname. It eases the tension."  
  
"Only if you would call me Ithilwen in turn."  
  
She responded with a soft smile. She could definitely relate to what Krem just had said, for she hated it when they called her worship or Herald. Calling others by their names offered familiarity and a sense of safety. The Dalish often used honorable titles and called their elders by Hahren, their children by da'len and their comrades as lethallin or lethallan, depending on the gender.  
  
Not her though. Sadron had tried it once, and he ended up wet.  
  
  
She had somewhat regretted that action. For the first time ever someone had taken the step to maker her part of the family, and she had rejected it out of spite. Sadron was her friend, and future husband. Familiarizing with him wouldn't be considered a bad idea.  
  
She missed him, a little. But not as much as she could have. She had come to learn that she did not know as much as she thought she did. About herself, the life of the outside world or Sadron.  
  
And she dreaded the day she would return.  
  
The hospitality from the Inquisition would not be there. The safety of having a home in one place would be gone, and none of her friends would be with her.  
  
  
Her words oddly enough made the young man blush, then smirk, sort of slyly.  
  
"Of course.. Ithilwen." He clumsely pronounced her name with his thick tevine accent, dragging out the vowels as he bowed down, slowly plucking her hand in his. Before she had even realised what had happened he had let his lips just slightly brush her knuckles, giving them a small peck on her fingers.  
  
Astonished she stared down with a flustered face at the man that so very tenderly held her hand.  
  
"A.. Pleasure, to make your acquaintance."  
  
He smirked even further when he saw the result from his action, and she hastily let her eyes escape to the side with burning cheeks and red ears.  
  
"Ah, uh.. Likewise."  
  
He laughed again, then gently let go of her hand and rose back up, brushing one of his legs free from dust. "You remember the fight at West Hill? "  
  
Krem could instantly tell from the lines over her brows that the memories indeed were clear. A sigh left her lips as she looked to the side.  
  
"Some of it. That's where I met your leader."  
  
"The chief? Aye. "Krem said as he shifted his weight on his feet. "And me."  
  
Her eyes widened as little as she recognised his hair color. His hair had grown.  
  
  
Grown.  
  
  
For one slow moment she saw Solas hair, golden and long, reaching his shoulders, dashing as it flew over his cheeks and strong jaw.  
  
It had been so beautiful.  
  
But then, an image of Varric's hair and beard conjured itself before her. Rugged, tangled. Dirty. Traces of blood alongside his starved face and pointy ribs.  
  
Fiona's, long, dark like the night and red.  
  
Leliana's, hidden beneath a worn hood, but it was not traceable behind the scarred surface of her tortured face.  
  
  
And Cullen's.  
  
  
His long golden locks had been all tangled in the crystals covering his right half of his body. His well developed and muscular body had been turned into a husk, an empty shell of his old self. The only thing still living was his eyes.  
  
But even they had begun to fade.  
  
Right in her arms.  
  
  
"Ithilwen?"  
  
"Of course. How ignorant of me." She had forced her words when she saw the puzzled expression on Krem's face. "I do apologize for not seeing you sooner."  
  
He began to fidget a little with his hands as her words left her lips. As if he had been a bit embarrassed. "There's no need."  
  
"I insist." Ithilwen smiled and put her hand on his. "Ma Serannas, Krem, for saving me."  
  
  
She took farewell of him as he still stood by the stairs. She could feel his eyes in her back, but it did not really bother her. Instead she walked down alongside the small stairs down to the Tavern, and next to Solas little house. Maybe she should knock.  
  
  


"Sera was never an agreeable girl-"

  
  
She turned as she hear the tune, and curiosity for the lyrics brought her ears up as she looked up at the building glowing with the warm light of the fire, and the soaring laughter.  
  
She walked forward to the Tavern instead and sneakily looked through the window and the inhabitants, all gathered around one woman with a strange instrument in hand. Sera was laughing next to the Iron Bull and Blackwall. Her heart swelled as she sensed the warm atmosphere that the tune had created. Most of her inner circle was in there, taking one last drink before approaching the Breach in the morrow.  
  
It looked quite different from the way she and Sadron would prepare themselves for greater hunts.  
  
It was always done in silence, with the exception from their blades singing the melody, and with the buzz from the insects, the shouts from the birds, and the pouring sounds from the stream nearby acting as the instruments in their orchestra.  
  
Despite his strength and reach, she had flexibility and speed. All good qualities, of exploited properly. None of them rarely won, and none really lost. As was not the intention.  
  
Knowing each others weaknesses and strengths allowed them to think as one. Adapting their movements to the heat of the moment. If one was at the front, the other would be at the flank. If one fell, the other would be there to interrupt the enemy's chance for victory.  
  
Having been without her sparring partner had given her quite a few scars, well. The newer ones never took form on her skin. Not since she had received the mark.  
  
She knew the thing to be so much more then a key to close the Breach. It had a life on it's own, a will. Despite the great powers it offered it also seemed to rely on her life force. She felt it, day by day, night by night.  
  
Breath by breath.  
  
She slowly trailed the lines pulsating under the wrapping around her arm with her finger. It sent small shivers through her arm. Painful, but by now she had learned to live with it.  
  
It was always there, in the dark, slowly numbing her.  
  
Her eyes squeezed together as she let out one frustrated breath through her nose.  
  
Soon it would be over. One way or another.  
  
  
"Lavellan."  
  
She had already heard him coming, and by the tune in his voice she could trace the superiority, the anger, and especially..  
  
The disappointment.  
  
Her eyes slowly trailed up alongside his shape and locked into his. No matter how much he had tried his breath would obviate what the veil of peace tried to hide.  
  
"Warden." She answered and went back to look out on the village and all the glowing candle lights.  
  
He had walked outside the Tavern, why she did not know. Did he feel like apologizing? Why? He had done nothing to feel regretful about. If anything she was the villain in this play for the deceit she planned to pull on them. Blackwall was completely right to be disappointed in her. She was a traitor, and a deserter.  
  
"Enjoying the evening?" He finally asked, though if it was sarcasm or hidden spite she couldn't figure. Probably both.  
  
she nodded in response. The embarrassment, and the discomfort needn't to be stated.  
  
"Wish to join us?" He asked after a short paus.  
  
"No." She said as she decided it was time to move on.  
  
But Just as she had walked passed him she felt a tight grip around her hand.  
  
Her _left_ hand.  
  
The contact made him hiss, low, but still traceable if you concentrate hard enough.  
  
She instantly turned, dashing his hand away with her other, unable to hide the fear in her voice.  
  
"Are you out of your mind?"  
  
He smugly stared up, observing her every facial oddities. "Afraid of confrontation?"  
  
And he knew that he had damaged her resolve. Caught her off guard, for the face he was rewarded with spoke mor than any answer could have. But then her right hand fell upon his twitching one, giving reassuring strokes.  
  
And it began to tingle, glowing blue.  
  
Unable to hide his astonishment he let her take the glove off, and as her slow and cold breath surrounded his flesh he felt the pulsating pain slowly fade, until it was nothing more then a memory, making him wondering if it ever had happened.  
  
"Come."  
  
He looked up and saw that she already had walked down the rest of the stairs. He followed willingly, walking far behind, led through the few alleys back to her den.  
  
The hour was late, but the dark was being kept away from the few torches lighting their way to her small house. She cared little of the looks people was giving her, as the warden followed her light steps.  
  
The cave's opening appeared, and she went in.  
  
He hesitated for a moment outside the door. She oozed of warmth and kindness, but he had insulted her greatly before. Whatever she had planned for him surely couldn't be pleasant. But he had walked with her so far, and intrigued by her different behavior he walked inside.  
  
  
Almost as soon as he had entered the door swung closed on its own, and just as quickly he found himself on the wall with her right hand around his throat.  
  
The same kind blue eyes that had helped him before now glowed green in the dark, declaring the swift change in her mood.  
  
"You will keep this quiet or I swear that I'll.."  
  
"You will what?" He knew that she wouldn't harm him, for if she had desired for his flesh she would have used her marked hand, instead of her right one.  
  
She was incredibly easy to read sometimes, and impossible in the next.  
  
A risen brow met her gaze and she bit back her tongue with a snarl, letting go of the man. He looked unaffected down at her as she placed herself on the floor before the unlit fireplace. After a while he found himself a meter away from her on the floor.  
  
  
"How about a game?"  
  
An irritated snarl left her again as she lifted her head from her legs. "How old are you?"  
  
"I will give you a question, and in return you may ask one of your own."  
  
"And why would I ever agree on that sort of thing?"  
  
"Look." The grizzled man leaned forward, a bit troubled by sitting on the floor. He might have been a warrior all of his life, but he was still of higher age. With a somewhat forced grunt he lowered himself and placed himself on the floor next to her. "I know you well enough that talking doesn't help the slightest. You need a barter, a trade of secrets, and I just so happen to have a few under my sleeve."  
  
She scoffed and looked up. "I care little whatever past you might have, _Warden_." She snarled and narrowed her eyes. "We are all part of the Inquisition."  
  
"As far as I have figured it out, you are about to _leave_ the Inquisition."  
  
She stiffened and glared back. "I have my reasons."  
  
"And I would know of them, if I could."  
  
"Tough."  
  
Here the older man folded his arm and smiled smugly as he looked down on the younger girl at the floor. "I wonder what the others in the Inquisition would think about your previous statements."  
  
She glared and sighed. "You are blackmailing me."  
  
He smiled with wicked eyes. "I will allow you to ask the first question."  
  
Angered by his presumed victory she turned her head back and almost yelled. "You dare to taunt a mage?"  
  
A chuckle, not unkind, left his throat as he folded his arms above his chest with a knowing nod.  
  
"I know an empty threat when I see one."  
  
  
She stared with low brows and narrowing eyes for a long time at the man with the crest. At first Blackwall thought she wouldn't budge and was about to give up when she through a surrendering sign fell back on the floor with crossed arms.  
  
"Fine."  
  
The warden smiled slyly like the fox he was as he looked on her on the floor, eagerly awaiting the intro to the game he so carefully had strategized for her.  
  
  
It was true that the man had been dismissive about his past, almost avoiding the subject at every turn. As teasingly seductive it was to ask the hard questions first she would need to refrain herself from doing so, least it turn back on her. The first therefore had to be something unremarkably simple, and revealing at the same time.  
  
"Where were you born?"  
  
" _That's_ your question?" The man laughed in his surprise. "My birthplace?"  
  
"Your name does not sound Orlesian." She continued calmly on the floor and spoke with sealed eyes, not giving in to his sarcastic tune. "Ferelden? Or perhaps a marcher, then?"  
  
The warden let out a deep grun on the floor next to her, and through his restraint he added courage to her boldness. "I was from the Free Marches, yes. Originally. Markham."  
  
The room fell in silence, and she had to pry one eye open as she looked at him. Again she felt the urge to ask him more of that, but she decided to step up a notch, once he had asked his.  
  
"Your turn."  
  
A small paus emerged, as if he had a hard time to come up with anything. She was just about to pry one eye open when she heard his throat rumble.  
  
"That thing on your hand.. Does it hurt?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
It seemed so simple all of a sudden. It was, after all, a simple question and required nothing more then a simple answer. And from the clearing in his throat she felt a smile brewing.  
  
"How long as it beein doing that?"  
  
"Ah, ah, _aaah_." One of her fingers rose up, spinning slowly in a circular motion in the air. "My turn." She drew a breath and slowly planned her revenge. "I hear that many wardens were once criminals. Is that true?"    
  
And just as she thought he swallowed her bait. He had unknowingly let on a game she couldn't loose. From his breathing she could spot an anxiety.  
  
"Not just warden's it seems. Your own life isn't spotless." He muttered, but not quietly enough, for she could well hear him. "I'm sure you would like to leave it behind you, as would I."  
  
"I take it that is a yes."  
  
From the silence she had already found her answer and smiled. "Go on."  
  
"How long has it hurt?"  
  
She felt like laughing.  
  
Whatever was going through his mind? Why did he think so simple?  
  
"Since I got it." She wet her lips and continued further. "What did you do before you became a warden?"  
  
By now he had learned that he would get no further explanations, and knew that the game he had suggested only could come to hurt him in the end. She had lured him in his trap, and he would loose it in the end.  
  
  
At least, that was what she thought.  
  
  
"I was.. A soldier."  
_  
Clever boy.  
 _  
Her smile slowly vanished from her face. He had learned that she would give no more than simple answers.  
  
"Final question."  
  
She rose up this time, giving him a serious expression as she leaned up on her elbow by the fireplace.  
  
  
"Are you dying?"  
  
  
And here came the dreaded question. The one she did not know the answer to. Her eyes sought his for a short moment, and then the coal in the fireplace.  
  
"I don't know."  
  
He frowned deeply as she avoided his gaze. "That is not a real answer."  
  
"And yet it is the best I have. " She turned her head back with a fading light in her eyes. "Let us say, that I..  Suspect  as much. I am unsure how this will work out."  
  
"Then.." He leaned forward. "You're walking against your own death?"  
  
  
  
"I believe the game already has ended."  
  
  
  
She rose up and walked over to the door and threw it open. "Now, please. Leave."  
  
Just before he had taken hold of her arm she turned pushing him away. "Leave." She repeated.  
  
He walked fourth and forcefully banged the door closed. "How can I? Considering what I know?"  
  
"You just do." She shrugged and looked down on her feet. "It is as simple as it sounds."  
  
But then, her face was forced up and she stared up in his harsh eyes, when she suddenly felt herself in a tight embrace and pressed against his broad chest. His big and rough hand was stroking her head gently and slowly. Astonished she took a sip of air, but he only began to wag her from side to side.  
  
  
"Dear girl. You must be terrified."  
  
  
Unable to come up with any answers she simply stared forward. Whatever was there to say?  
  
Of course she was scared.  
  
And he felt it, for he tightened his arms around her.  
  
She has received few embraced in life. They had always been forced upon her, much like this one. But this particular exchange felt oddly..  
  
Warm.  
  
And she did not wish to let go.  
  
Blackwall was one of the few characters that had managed to unpeel her skin, revealing her true self. A mentor, fatherly.  
  
Sure, Solas was a fatherly figure, but the sort of figure she wanted to impress than rather then get to know. The warden might dislike something, but he does not question it. He accepted it full heartedly.  
  
Same as with Dorian. He might argue, of course, and he could be sassy from time to time.  
  
She wanted nothing more then to stay in that wagging warmth, but then a sudden sting in her arm woke her up.  
  
And she pushed him away.  
  
Her voice was thick, and she desperately avoided his gaze that tried to seek hers. "You must promise me one thing."  
  
He frowned, and she quickly continued. "Whatever happens tomorrow, you may not tell anyone of what you have learned." His eyes slowly widened and she rose up her finger. "No one. If they find out that this may take my life they couldn't go through with it."  
  
"But.." He stumbled and rose up his hands catching her right shoulder. "If this is true, that it is killing you, how can they live with themselves? Knowing that they pushed you--"  
  
Here she put her finger on his lips, scilencing him.  
  
But what really had done so was the small pearl he thought himself see in the corner in her eye.  
  
"Just because of that."  
  
He stared down at the girl before him. No wonder she had been so reserved about it all before. It angered him that a child would need to take on this responsibility while rich farts complained off their cakes having to much sugar in Val Royeaux.  
  
  
"Promise me, Gordon." She had taken hold of his hand, making him feel even more unreserved. "You must keep this to yourself, no matter what happens."  
  
He sighed heavilly and forced his hand away. "I.. can't."  
  
the sudden change frightened him as he saw the force build up in her, around her. "Would you risk lives for a petty elf?"  
  
He blinked, surprised, and then his voice grew hotter with anger. "You are the reason this Inquisition is standing!"  
  
"But what use am I if the rest of the world will follow the Divine to the other side? Surely you can see that?"  
  
He looked at her with with sad eyes, then determination. "You know I have too, it's for your own good." And so he turned, walking against the door.  
  
  
Just as he had thrown open the door again he heard a plugging sound of a bottle and turned a little to the side.  
  
And then, he felt himself getting pushed agains the wood of the door, and something incredibly soft on his lips.  
  
It was not the sweet sort of greeting between two sweethearts, nor was it the brief exchange of attention, seeking company on a cold night. And he felt very little desire to reply to it.  
  
Trying to escape her grasp he opened his mouth, but she plunged deeper with her tongue, greeting his with a teasing flicker.  
  
And it was bitter.  
  
Surprised, and not knowing how to handle the situation his arms raised up. But not before being able to stop the liquid from going down his throat.  
  
He escaped her opening and pushed her away from him, coughing as he stared down at the floor with a flushed face and with his hand on his throat.  
  
And then, the world seemed a lot wobblier. Holding his hands steady became hard, and the numbness in his fingers increased. One of his knees found the floor, and as he stared up his cheek was tenderly stroked by her hand that he now thought as remarkeble cold and malevolent.  
  
  
"Did you know there is a spider in the Free Marches that likes to paralyze her victems before she devours them?"  
  
Poisen..  
  
His eyes unknowingly went up and he let out a gurgling breath as the panic became eminent. She was crazy, a maniac.  
  
"-It won't kill you. " She corrected herself, but it did little to settle his worries. "But be certain that a larger dose could have. "Her head tilted a little down and at the small vial that she held up, wiggling it in the air." It will work long enough for you not to cause any trouble."  
  
He fell to the floor completely this time and without the energy to raise himself up.  
  
"I am sorry, warden, but you have left me no choise. This is for _the_ better good and not my own."  
  
"You always.. Have a choice.." He squealed with a faltering voice. And for a moment She chuckled back.  
  
Sad, and somber.  
  
"That is also true." She rose up from her knee and stared down at him with clenched fists.  
  
"And this is mine to make. Know that if I do walk into death I did on my own free will." She looked at him with softness in her eyes.  
  
"And I cherish the time we have spent together, warden. You and many others have proven to be great friends."  
  
His hearing became dowsier, and the only thing he could hear was the sound of her light steps, but they too eventually faded.  
  
  
"Dareth Shiral, Blackwall."  
  
  
  


And then, the world went dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ipsy dipsy spider..
> 
> The part of the white figurine getting devoured is a reference to the drawing you can find here and there around in the world. It's also displayed in the stables in skyhold. The description I made is however not entirely correct. See the link below.
> 
> https://41.media.tumblr.com/8830311ee0f2d320973cfab20e14cbe1/tumblr_nglm3yifcN1u4goiyo1_500.png
> 
> I beleive that it was mentioned Amell having an apprentice in chapter five, and stated that he had a son in chapter 12 by Fiona. They are both indeed the same person. I imagine Connor would understand french, he's half Orlesian after all.
> 
> ..Can u figure it out? Hmm? Hmm? *Giggles in the corner*
> 
> Mr Krem was introduced. I never really did that earlier, and felt it vital.
> 
> Also, I never really explained why I made Solas Blonde, or 'golden'. It was his eyebrows. I thought that they looked rather light, and thought he might have blonde or perhaps red hair when I began to write this series, and well, I couldn't really change it.  
>    
> ..Blackwall getting poisoned was so fun writing. Unexpected smooching. Mwaha.
> 
>  Frenchy time.  
> \------------  
> Mon garçon idiot - My idiot son.  
> Calme, mère. Je ne vais pas aller nulle part - Calm down, mother. I am not going anywhere. 
> 
> ( If anyone is of a french origin I wouldn't mind getting corrected, should there be anything off about the translation. ) *winks*


	27. The final frontier?

  
"Good morning, warden. I assume you are feeling better?"

 

The man in the thick, brown trenchcoat blinked several times before opening them to full. But as the light pierced his sight he hastily closed them again, catching his forehead with one of his hands. The nauseousness instantly fell over him and he growled as an migraine marched forth in his head. After a long attempt he finally managed to open his eyes, and hook them at the many shapes that seemed to run around before they all finally stilled and joined as one.

It was a young man in Inquisition gear, one he had seen follow the commander around for months. He stood ready with what seemed like food on a long wooden tray.

"Something hot, to settle the--" 

He had already leaned forth after the cup with the brew, but instantly dropped it to the floor. The boy sighed and rolled his eyes, but not so that the older man could hear.

A grunt left the wardens lips as he shook his head. Not the brightest move. He would come to instantly regret that action when he felt the world spin. He waved with his arm desperately and covered his mouth with his other hand. Luckily enough the boy knew what he was after, and he had barely reached the bucket to him before the room was covered in the unappealing smell of regret.Embarrassing, to say the least and the coughing did not help the wardens already sour mood.

The recruit who was of a kinder nature instantly knelt at his side and gently leaned down and caught a few strands of the wardens hair, holding it back while the older almost dived into the bucket.

"There there, let it all out."

After a while when he felt better the older straightened up himself, taking the cloth he was offered and a small pitcher of water that he used to wipe off any dirt that would have gotten tangled in his beard. Then, he leaned back into the bed.

But as soon as he had done that it occurred to him that he was in his own quarters.

Memories of what has happened before his blackout ventured back, and as the boy who had leaned down and swept up the crushed glass from the floor went back up he trapped him with his gloved hand, causing him to instantly drop it back on the floor.

"Where are they?"

Confused the boy arched his brow. "Who?"

"Where is the Herald?" 

"Ah." The boy then said as he let his hands fall to his side. " They're up of course, at the Breach. " 

Here his smile soon left as his eyes turned a little to the side with a snort. " The Commander told me to stay, ordered for me to look out for you, sir. I would rather have gone up and taken a look at the Breach, but.. " He quickly changed his tune as he saw the grey eyes on the warden almost became white with anger and quickly waved his hand in front of himself.

"N--Not that I have anything against you! Warden! What I meant was--"

"Out of my way!"

The boy gawked a little when the burly man rose up from the bed. And soon fell after, trying to hold of Blackwall by hooking his arm in his. It did little, for the Grey Warden despite his age was used to the leverage of an heavy armor. The boy, hanging from his arm, was instead trailed after in his desperate attempt to make the man stop.

"I was given specific instructions-orders- that you need to stay in bed for the whole day!" He cried with a faltering voice as Blackwall forced the door opened and marched outside.

At least she hadn't removed his clothes, nor sword. He would need to act swift, if he wanted--

"Drinking before--"

" _Drinking?!_ "

It had been confirmed rather than asked as he turned around with a red face. The recruit shrinked in confidence while the other grew. Fortunately enough Blackwall was not the sort of man to hurt the innocent, and settled with a punch into the stonewall.

How devious her mind must have been. To actually come up with the decision to poison him.

A desperate action, taking desperate measurements.. She certainly must have been planning it for a long period of time.

He did not regret his own choise of words, but how he had handled her. If he had only been more careful, if he only would have been more alert on who she really was. What she was able and willing to do. He shook his head and looked back at the squire who had followed him. This was the time to act, not regret. 

"Are there any horses?"

"None!" The boy replied from beneath his arm. "They've been taken, even yours!"

Blackwall bit his lip with a frustrated grunt. He did not know the way, and neither were there any mounts. He had to hurry if he wanted to stop her. And so he thrown opend the doors to the chantry, and just before he had taken the first step he stopped, and looked to the boy.

"Do you know the way to the temple?"

"Why, yes." He replied as he slowly unhooked his arm. "Why?"

Blackwall only nodded and turned his gaze to the Breach outside the building.

"I hope you got good stamina, boy."

The boy rose his finger, a bit unconfident. "Actually, my name is Ji--"  
  


He never managed to finish the sentence, as he felt himself dragged in his arm outside.

 

~*~

 

"Be ready at my signal."

 

A small unit of thirty mages looked up with fire in their eyes towards the green wound above their heads, far up in between the clouds. Not the angry irritated light, but passion, flowing though them as it was encouraged by one another. There was no fancy inspirational speeches, nor any goodbyes.

But tension.

The good kind.

The Breach seemed bigger, but it did little to unsettle their confidence, for a long process was about to take it's final step. They all, mages and templars, elders and youths, men and woman, dwars, elves, humans and even a Qunari stood in anticipation before the ominos reeking green light that seemed to whisper harshly for them to stay back.

Ithilwen had during their ride up looked up with disbelief in her eyes. It seemed to good to be true, that this might be it's end. It felt odd, and strangely enough exiting, despite of the revelation of her incoming and eventual demise.

 _But on the other hand_ \-- She would think as she gazed down on her bandaged arm,- _I might be lucky. This could be the end of this pain._

 

Solas stepped to the mages front, holding his staff high in a confident posture with his legs wide apart. He seemed so much taller than before, livelier,  
  
 _Younger._

Tranced a few feet away next to Cassandra she observed his every move and gesture. She found him extremely charismatic at times likes this : when he took charge. When he would speak up instead of standing in a corner. He was so much more than what was visible to the eye, that old hermit living in the woods. More then a scholar. A teacher, Elder.

Father..

Her heart would swell as she thought back of their times together, and it shrunk just as easily knowing that this might be it. Her final battle. It saddened her that she might never know more of him, and the reason for his careful nature.

Cassandra was not the only one who thought it odd that he would have been able to avoid the templars for so long. But unlike so many other subjects Ithilwen was afraid to confront this fact. What if he began to distrust her in return? Or worse, he would have left?

For he  _did_ hide something. 

He knew of things, secrets too soon to reveal.

 

The Seeker next to her must have noticed her hesitation, for her hand now rested on her shoulder. Cassandra's teeth glowed pearl white in the green light as the smile widened on her lips. "Nervous?" A reassuring squeeze, and wider smile. "Don't be. You have secured the means to do this."

Ithilwen stared back at her at first. And then, a soft smile met hers.

Solas wasn't the only she had come to care about during her short time with the Inquisition. Cassandra was like the sister she had always wanted. Even pharhaps a mother. A rolemodel.

And as those thoughts began to fester a displeased hum left her throat. 

_Such a better person than me._

She would need to break that trust, that hope.

Her head turned just slightly to the side, thinking back to someone else who had been to close to the truth.

He had been so stubborn, and in the end she had forced herself to betray him.

For it was a betrayal, of a sort.

He had trusted her, and this was her gratitude. She did not blame him or his actions though, he if anyone was the purer of them two. A Grey Warden was the idyllic person to become, for what they and their order stood for. What that sweet sacrifice of duty represented, so that others might live a peaceful life. Whatever crimes he had committed in the past was not for her to know, neither was it for her to judge. Had he killed he would stone by saving others, either with the Wardens or the Inquisition. The man was a symbol in his own way.

_Had he killed.._

What right did she have to judge?

She was no better than any of the other woman or man serving that banner.

Life was precious, and she has taken several. She only remembered a few things from her first kill.

A young man, a bandit out to find his own fortune. He had a sweetheart called Johanna. A dog named Rufus, and a small cottage where he and his brothers had lived as children. All dead, from the Blight.

Now he was just one of the many faces of people that had died in her company. And just as his they were all long forgotten. Bland and hollow. The color of his eyes, hair, if he had freckles or any scars. The length of his fingers, his jaw.

All that was gone. Now there was just a memory, a shadow of a boy that had rushed at her with a risen blade.

Her otherwise blue tunic had been drenched in crimson red. Blood seemed to be everywere.

Sadron had desperately tried to get her up on her feet, But it was that strike that finally managed to take her back to their harsh and cruel reality.

 

 _"No daughter of mine will mourn a shem."_  

 

"Ithilwen?"

 Her shoulder felt warmer again. She looked to the side with her eyes, and the pair she met was filled with anxiety and worry.

"Is something the matter?"

"N.. No. I was just lost in thought."

The seeker gave her a puzzled look. "You have been a little out of sorts for some time."

A bitter laugh was just about to take place on her lips, but she managed to stop it. Feeling ill had been so much better than what was about to happen. Instead she let out a small yawn.

"Just a bit early in the morning." She lied. If anything she was always the first to be up in the morning, and the last at the evening. Avoiding sleep as best she could.

The seeker's eyes narrowed forward. "I see."

She knew the younger to be lying. She would talk with her about it later, but for the moment she would had to be focused at the Breach. As she searched the room her amber eyes caught a glimpse of someone else who from time to time would shift at his place, uncomfortable with the situation. He then looked to the side, at the Captain in front of him.

 

"Lysette, I want you to stand to guard with a small patrol of our troops in the northern part of the temple, should any demons pass through."

"Aye, sir!"

The captain banged her hand against her chest piece, turned and moved in perfect union together with four other templars towards the other end of the cursed hall.

Cursed, for there was few other words that fitted the description.

The area that once had been a room looked like something out of his nightmares. The ground was mostly made out from dark sand, probably the old stone floor that has turned into dust. Sharp to the touch for water has never softened up the small grains. The walls had intertwined with green glimmering rock, together with the Red Lyrium. He despised being this close to it, for it seemed to whisper, and the thirst he usually could keep at bay was incredibly frustrating at times like this.

Teasing, seducing, and annoyingly close, begging him to come closer with promises of powers beyond any mortal mans imagination.

"Hey, Curly."

Thankful for the distraction he took a short breath and looked down. Varric who silently had taken place next to him was probably feeling equally as disturbed as him at this moment. His brows frowned deeply as his eyes travelled around the room. Not strange at all. He if anyone had foremost experience when it came to the blasted material that now cladded the walls.

"Any progress?"

Cullen grunted a little and grabbed his neck. "Some. Many crystal formations have been destroyed in the Hinterlands, but I fear that we do not have the manpower to stop the growth from spreading completely."

His eyes travelled down to the dwarf again as he heard him chuckle.

"Not the Lyrium." He said as he shook his head. " _Her_."

He squinted his eyes at Varric who with a wide grin wiggled his brows and nodded towards the other end of the room.

And as he lifted his gaze he soon understood of whom the other had spoken of.

 

Ithilwen couldn't help but stare when she was met by his. And as he hesitantly lifted his hand and waved she dashed her eyes to the ground with pink ears. The goofy smile on her she felt on her lips soon melted down as she remembered how she had treated him these last couple of weeks.

Regret still lingered in her. She needed to apologise. But there was no longer any time.

Yesterday she had thought it a good decision to let it be. She now knew that wasn't the case. 

She turned a little to the side when she heard someone laughing and shot up her brow with a thin mouth as she saw people smile as they rested against the walls.

"It's too soon to claim ourselves victorious."

The seeker squeezed her shoulder with a chuckle. " I agree. But let them have this moment. " Her hand left her shoulder as she looked forward. " You know, that thought for responsibility is my favorite trait about you. "

Ithilwen looked to the side and at the Seeker with arched brows. The older woman only chuckled with admiration in her eyes.

"Ready?"

Ithilwen nodded, and with that Cassandra stepped forward and placed herself next to Solas, raising her sword high up in the air.

 

"Mages!"

 

Ithilwen hitched on her breath. Despite agreeing to it she did not feel ready. It felt like her heart marched hard inside her chest as she locked her gaze on Cassandra. It felt as if her blood both boiled and froze, as if her head would explode from the sheer tension alone.

This was it. 

Millions of questions she had been asking herself would pop up, all flustering around in her brain as she stared up in the sky.

Would it hurt? More then the mark? Would it consume her completely, or would she die?

Would dying be painful?

Did an afterlife even exist? If so which one? Or was it something else completely? Would it be an never ending sleep?

 

Maybe it just all ended. A dark non existence, without conscience or awareness.

 

Again she felt resentment for her own situation. She had always sees herself as the victim, but she had plenty of times to actually speak with them to change their opinions of her. She regretted her fight with Blackwall. And mostly with Cullen.

She turned and placed herself just before the green light, awaiting the signal from the others, shutting her eyes. 

 

"Focus past the Herald! Let her will draw from you!"

 

As she heard the staffs thumb down in the floor at Solas command warmth spread through her, and as she looked back one last time she was greeted by the mages eager eyes, as well as Solas gaze.

His face told nothing, but his eyes spoke differently. He too looked eager. Almost hungry for the change that they all would come to have.

He smiled.

That warm, encouraging smile, so much more beautiful and appreciable than any image or word.

His smile spoke of how he would be with her. He would be walking every step as she took, he would take a breath with her..

How he would be there to catch her if she fell.

  
She smiled towards him, then turned back to the green field, filled with new confidence. She took a deep breath, deeper than ever. Felt it whisper inside her, released it.

 

His encouragement was pleasing, and even flattering. Even if she knew that his every promise was a lie. Impossible.

He would not be walking with her.

He would not be breathing with her.

And he would not catch her when she fell.

 

_Ir abelas, ma falon.._

 

She slowly exhailed..

 

..And she took the first step.   
  


 ~*~

 

Sera stood a bit grossed out by the magic around, but perked her ears just a little when she heard a harsh sip for air next to her. She had laughed hard on the ground as she had seen Ithilwen been carrying the large man back to the Chantry on her back. The old brute had been drinking. Now he payed with being late for this grand event. She greeted him with a big smirk.

"Hey, Grumpy. Wassup?"

Her amused expression instantly changed when she saw his dark eyes. Despite his features mostly being hid under his beard it was easy to distress the tension he felt. The jaw was tightly closed, and his leather gloves would give away a squeaking sound, indicating that they were being strained against their normal usage. Even the guy running behind him gulped air as if it had been wine.

He was compleatly out of breath, indicating that he probably had been running. His coat was still unbuttoned, his hair a mess and pearls of sweat was gliding down alongside his forehead.

Did he not know that they would take on the breach today?

"Wha--What's wrong with you?" She asked, worried this time. Her hand had barely touched his when he moved passed her.

"Not now." He growled between his teeth as he dashed forward, in Cullen's direction. 

"I'd avoid him if I were you!" The boy panted with fear in his voice behind the back of his hand. 

She darted her eyes between the two runners, then fell after. " Hey, wait up! "

 "Cullen!"

"Can it wait?" The commander said as he let his eyes venture to the side.

Blackwall looked especially grim this early morning. Even a vein was throbbing in his forehead from the stress he obviously felt. But the commander cared little at this moment, and simply waved off the warden with his right hand and gazed back at Solas who encouraged the mages. "This is hardly the time."

Surprised Cullen felt himself turn. Blackwall had grabbed his shoulder and spinned him around.

"What are you--" 

"It's going to kill her!"

Cullen's eyes widened.

What was he saying? And why did he look like he just had been running?

 

_"He took a few to many drinks last night. Maybe it would better to leave him behind?"_

 

"What are you talking about?"

The commanders memories had taken him back to when they were about to depart a few hours ago. Most people had been awake and ready, but he had been sleeping in. Ithilwen claimed that he still wasn't sober enough.

He now knew that they all had been foolishly deceived.

By her.

Because Blackwall knew something.

Not wanting to believe his own two ears he stared at the warden who pointed past him. " That thing on her hand has been growing since she got back from Redcliffe! "

Varric gasped and placed his hand on his temples. " Shit.. " 

Cullen felt his breath quicken.

Sweat flushed down his neck as his eyes found the ground. What in the maker's name has she been thinking? 

 

"Focus past the Herald!"

 

He hastily turned his head as he heard Solas and saw her walk against the green field. Then, he grabbed hold of his neck as he ran forward, shouting. He knew the warden followed, for he could hear the rustle from his armor coat.

"Lady Lavellan!"

Her head turned just slightly, and before he had managed to get hold of her he was taken aback by a strong pulse.

Stunned, confused and astonished he let his hands reach out. They were met by a warm but hard surface that glimmered at his touch. Small waves in the barrier erupted from his palm took place. As he looked up he saw her smile, sadly and with,

Green eyes.

Glowing cracks covered half of her face.

 

"Lady Lavellan!" He repeated, anxious as he tried to move forward, but he felt himself getting pushed away.

How could he have missed it? Why did he wait to speak with her all these weeks? Why did he not interrupt sooner? 

No.

Why did she shut up about it?

"Get out here this instant!" He barked as he unsheathed his sword.

He could think of nothing less. Whatever there was to do, he did not know. Perhaps he could break her wall, he was a templar after all. Blackwall did the same, while the boy who had followed idiotically stared with his mouth open. Sera held her ears tightly as she felt anxiety and the Iron Bull that had been standing a few feet away walked forth with a grim expression upon his face.

But even Cullen had to admit himself powerless against her magic. Without lyrium he could do nothing but stare at the thing.

The 'wall' looks greenish and oozed with magic that he couldn't place as hers. It made him feel sort of heavy, just as if he had been drinking.

 

"Ir abelas, Commander."

 

He stopped and planted his palms against the barriers surface as he saw her lips move, and had to concentrate really hard to hear what she actually was saying.

She smiled sadly and spoke lauder. "Ir harel'ma melava. Ne nuvenin suedin, ma falon."

"What are you saying?"

Again, she smiled.

And with that she turned back and resumed her walk.

"Don't you dare take another step!"

Shouting after her like a child he banged his hands on the invisible wall that made no sound, but large waves that blurred her image that step by step became smaller. For she acted like one. And as the annoyed older brother his words carried little interest to her. She would move, against his objections.

Cullen forced himself, tried to move forward, but was kept bay by the barrier. Hitting the wall, attacking it with his sword held no effect,

 

Varric stared as the commanders panic escalated and relentlessly aimed his weapon again and again against the wall, but achieved nothing. He turned to Blackwall with an arched brow.

"How did you know? For how long?"

"Why do you think I'm late?" The warden grunted and looked to the side.

All of a sudden Sera gasped, causing the rest to put their attention to her.

"She drugged you? " She asked with round eyes. Blackwall himself furrowed his brows.

"You're quick."

"I was missing a flask."

Everyone stared at the blonde elf as she waved her hands in front of herself. " I didn't help her or nothing! Noticed it this morning! "

Before anyone could ask further they heard an annoyed scream from the commander and turned. He was walking back and forth in front of the barrier, finally tossing his sword to the ground.

 

He would need to calm himself. Think logically and within reason. He walked around with his hand on his neck when he saw something glimmer in the sealing, and looked up.

He stared for a moment, then turned to the side when it finally came to him, clenching his hands together as he glared at the green wall.There was one way.

But it was risky.

He had the power to end it. But the costs of doing so would be immeasurable. Not for the Inquisition, but for himself. He had already come so far, but even in this sort of situation he had to give up his pride in order to save something else that was beginning to falter within him.

His conscience.

And so he turned towards the captain that had come running when she heard him shout earlier.

 

"Lysette! Bring lyrium!"  
  


  ~*~

 

She had barely stepped into the field before she felt the restraints from the magic around her. As she heard the protests from behind her a smile crept up her face.

How she had wanted to touch his jaw again.

Embarrassed she conjured his face in her mind with sealed eyes. He was so beautiful.

A pained gasp escaped her throat as the mark began to flare around on it's own. Not only the arm, she noticed. Her shoulder glowed green.

It had been a whole lot more difficult to make it forward this time, perhaps because of the new grip the mark had. She did not remember much besides fighting that demon the last time she had visited the temple, but surely it hadn't been this troublesome.

Like wading through a thick paste, or rushing water. The magic waving from the Breach was constantly pushing, fighting her back, as if it knew of her intention.

But when she heard a whisper, dark and hollow she stopped.

 

" **Let it go.** "

 

Did the magic in her mark now even hold the ability to speak?

Or was it demons, telling her to give up?

Mixed feelings and desires builded up within her through every step.

In one moment she wanted nothing more then to run back and throw herself in the commander arms and wade in the safety that he offered, and in the next, rip his throat out. Her fist clenched in a determined nod as she forced herself to move.

She spotted her goal, a pillar of green light. She did not need to think twice to know that this was her final destination.

If she could reach that, then she could, just as if she had banged a door closed, seal the Breach.

 

But then, the most strange and amusing thing occurred.

 

She almost laughed when she noticed that the small line shrinked and formed up again, taking shape of something awfully familiar.

A gate.

Tall and broad, with two doors wide open.

It reached far up, and inside there was a long staircase trailing up to the sky and the Breach.

_I'm losing my mind.._

The whispers became stronger, fixing in her ears as she walked closer and closer. But then a pulse took over and she fell to her knees. They were coming more and more suddenly.

The arm tensed up and glowed fiercely under her shoulder patch. To her own amazement, and shock, the leather and metal began to melt and travelled alongside her arm. The bandage around the hand was no more but linen that slowly glowed from green embers, then vanished as ash in the air.

She could even hear her own cry call out as the mark pulsated in her veins.

But the sound from her throat was different from her own voice.

It was lower, deeper and a whole lot more hollow, as if two voices was speaking at once.

And strangely enough, closer to the sound of an animal's song.

 

" **Pathetic.** "

 

It hadn't been her own word or thought, but she couldn't help but to agree to the phantoms statement.

She closed her eyes, feeling terrible inadequate and weak, when she felt the warmth of someone else's energy flow with her.

She needn't look back to know that it was the mages on the ramparts. Their chant could be heard echoing in between the formations of red crystal around them, and every sound drummed lauder with the help of the Breach.

He was with her, after all.

Determined to prove this imaginary entity wrong she went back up on her feet and took another step. Again, the common pulses of pain almost shook her down, but the warmth from Solas energy flowed with her. It was if he could feel her pain as well.

She looked up at the wound where the staircase ended, and mixed feelings filled her. Beyond the edges you could spot another sky, with different clouds and stars. It all looked as if it had been a painting, though it was floating and very much alive. In that scene she could see a dark mountain.

No,

A city.

Ancient and dark.

Was the creator and his bride staring down on her, or perhaps her ancestral pantheons?

Did the Dread Wolf follow her every move with it's many eyes?

 

She had as a child thought them all as stories. Probably the only thing her father had taught her right. But with the creation with the Breach she had begun to doubt.

That the 'creators' were actual creators? No. She found it hard to believe that the sun and moon would have given birth to the mother and father. But the Maker, that he had builded the world? That, strangely enough, made more sense.

For she like many had only heard about demons before. She had never seen actually one before the race to the temple. And she was a mage, that could manipulate the different energies around them.

But when she lifted her what no longer has the shape of a hand her doubt instantly vanished.

What kind of god would curse her like this and claim it to be a blessing?

Grunting as she reached the staircase she walked inside the gate.

  
"The moment of truth.."

 

And when she finally reached the oozing wound below the Breach, she stared up, took a deep breath..  
  
  


And slowly rose up her hand that now more looked like a claw.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE END.
> 
> ..  
>    
> Just a little joke. There will be more. Though if I did have any plans of stopping this would probably be the ideal moment.
> 
> Translations :  
> Ir harel'ma melava. Ne nuvenin suedin, ma falon - I'm the traitor (this) time. You (will) need to Endure, my friend.
> 
> Ir abelas - Elvhen apology, ir meaning me/I and abelas sorrow but in this case sorry/apologize.
> 
> Ma falon - My friend.


	28. You reap what you sow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Breach is about to be closed, but certain things about the mark has come to light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm alive! It's okay! *rubs head nervously* 
> 
> Oh, and I just want to ask anyone reading this series to refrain themselves from spoiling any dlc content, since I have yet to actually play any of them. I might indulge them in the story, but so far I have no such plans.
> 
> In any case, don't spoil please, for both my and other readers sake. Thank you in advance 
> 
> /B

" Commander. "

 

Cullen turned and spotted Lysette, the Templar from Orlais. She held a blue mixture in hand that she looked rather happy to be guarding instead of delivering.

" Commander, I think this is an unnecessary risk that you are taking. "

" I did not ask for your opinion. " Cullen said as he moved forward with sword high in his grip. " Give me the Lyrium. "

The templar sighed and looked up, resuming her walk towards him, but just before she was about to hand it over to him the Seeker had stepped in between, grabbing the bottle.

" Don't--"

The bottle had already been crushed to the ground and its contents was pouring in between the rubble and thick sand on which they stood upon. Speechless Cullen trembled in anger in front the puddle of wet sand but was then taken aback as a strike flew across his cheek.

" You've come too far to let something as petty as this to mislead you. "

He looked up at the Seeker who with an incredibly icy stare eyed him back. He then shook his head and rubbed his neck, dumbfounded by the clearity the lavette had brought his mind. It had been long since he had become this desperate, and he could not help but ponder in astonishment over the reason for his loss of patience.

 

But then he felt himself stumble a few steps to the side as the whole ground began to shake. Everyone turned towards its source, and many of the bystanders that had followed would scream in terror as they saw the green pillar that all of a sudden emerged underneath the huge gap in the sky. The uneven pillar stretched out towards it.

And once it made contact it seemed to expand.

" Dear Maker.. " Cassandra whispered as she felt herself walk back a few steps. The sight was truly terrifying, to make even _her_ , one who had seen the most horrific and heinous things magic could accomplish, walk away from it.

Second by second the Breach grew larger and larger, as if was an eye that bloodshot gazed down on them, and as if the green pillar grasped at its sharp black pupil.

And they heard a shreik.

But not that of a woman, or even a man.

It was deep, and hollow, causing her blood to turn cold in her veins. Her eardrums pulsated hard as she backed away again, feeling the hair on her arms stand on it's edge.

It was beautiful, and fearsome at the same time.

Cullen turned towards the green shimmering wall and once again found himself pushing against its surface, desperate for a change that never was given. Cassandra stood next to him, speechless and empty.

He truly did care for the girl, even after all she had done to him.

" Do not quiver! "

Cassandra turned around, spotting Solas before the unit with mages that seemed like they wanted to run as well. But as they spotted the Tevinter and Vivienne chant their incredibly difficult and complex constellations they looked at one another.

And again the staffs thumped down to the broken floor, and their chant became lauder.

Even though the assault seemed to have been a failure, they would continue on, even if it could take their lives.

Because they had to. There was none other than them standing in between the monstrous abomination and their world that they beyond anything wished to protect.

 

But then, out of the blue, Cullen fell.

 

Cassandra's brows almost hit her hairline, but before she had the time to react she felt the wave of energy as well, unable to stand against it's might she fell on her back. The pulse of wind had been so strong that everyone, including Leliana and her archers several meters away fell to the ground.

 With a few pained breaths Cullen grasped the ground, only to receive more black sand that slowly slipped through his closed fist. After failing to get a solid grip he grunted disapprovingly and stretched out his hand, groggy from the impact.

 

This time he met no ressistence.

 

His eyes flung up and he found his feet in but a moment, stumbling forward on shaky legs like a newborn and eager calf with outstretched arms.

For the shimmering green wall was gone.

He instantly walked forward, inside a green electrifying field of smoke that waverd around. A sandstorm, formed by her own energy.

Well. Not hers.

The marks.

Even he knew that now.

Suddenly, he thought himself see something move further in and with an incredibly dry mouth he called out, but received no answer. He squinted his eyes that finally found focus on what he was aiming for. The limbs, as well as head and chest were twitching uncontrollably widely around in the sand that subjected to the body's movements, and the whole form glowed green just like the magic around did.

Dorian and Solas shouted after him, but he only ran, crying for her again.

 

" Lavellan! "

 

Before he had managed to reach for the shoulders Solas had grasped his wrist. He stared back at the elf, but was only greeted by his grim and shaking head.  " Think carefully, Commander. Even you should be able to trace the magic that surrounds her. "

" This isn't the first time. " Dorian whispered as he knelt at the trembling bodies side. " This happened in the future, once. "

" Ah.. " Solas went and pinched the bridge of his nose. " Then.. "

" She did it. "

They all turned back, to the Seeker who stood speechless a few feet away. " The Breach.. It's.. "

The three men looked up, and indeed.

What once had been split in two, what once had been troubling the living for months had now slipped back together. The only thing left was a thin scar that danced with the morning. The sun no longer had an rival when it came to giving the world light.

 

Because the sky was whole.

It was _one_. 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

" Well, if it isn't the magical _expert_. " 

  
Aaron rolled his eyes as he heard the sour and rather dry voice behind him.

" Yes, _Flora_. Nice to see you too. "

The other grunted and hit him in the head with a heavy tomb. Amell whined, mostly because of annoyance and not from pain. His old comrade hardly had any muscle mass.

No, he wasn't the type to move around alot. He hated running. Lucky he burned off calories like he did. Otherwise he would roll around. Though he had spent alot of time doing such around the library, filling it out with whatever was lost during the fifth Blight.

The templars liked to keep them like that ; fat and slow. Giving them greasy food and long sleeping hours along with little means to exercise was an excellent way of keeping them in check.

It was through Amell that he had come to the castle, just like many of Kinloch Hold, and therefore many had been staying there during the Conclave. With the uncertainty during the mage uprising he wished to keep his friends close. Ariane had followed, for a time, but soon settled out to meet up with her own clan and blood. Amell knew she would write him from time to time, and he had no doubt in mind that certain.. _Emotions_ had been building up between the two ever since Lumen had taken them on the little adventure, trying to find the witch.

Why she would want to find her confused him. Because she was, as the king once had said behind closed doors, _an evil and utter bitch with no love but for herself_. Alas, the search has proved unsuccessful : They had never managed to find her. 

..According to Lumen.

Things were missing. Such as locations, dates and even people in both the elfs and mages head. And before he even could question Lumen about it she had already went on yet another crazy chase in the blighted Deep Roads. A _convenient_ and crazy chase.

The memory she had removed had not been salvageable. Even Amell, with his skills for healing, had been unable to restore it.

What really troubled him was the reason _why_  she would want it gone.

 

'Flora' had placed himself in the other chair next to the table. " Well, while you have been out having fun I've been forced to babysit the drooling mabari you call a 'son'. "

His friends tune had been reeking in sarcasm, not entirely unusual. Aaron looked at his friend in the chair, and then through the window where the desk and the two armchairs had been placed, overseeing the courtyard and the castle's garden beneath where the princess and the younger Aaron were playing together.

His son.

It would not take a genius to know that wasn't the case.

In the beginning he had only taken the boy because he had magic and because there was no one else the king trusted. Luckily for Amell he was still young and naive enough to believe that sweet lie.

But he held no illusion that in a few years he wouldn't refrain himself to ask why they, as father and son, looked so different from one another.

Why he had almost white hair, and the father dark. Why he had ivory skin immune to the suns kisses while Amell was as dark as those living in the dessert. Why the shape of his nose would tilt a bit upwards, while Amell's pointed down. Why his eyes were as blue as the sky, and his as golden as honey.

He loved him, his little student.

The small things, the big, bad, _good_. His edges and his curves. He loved his grumpy side, his anger, tears, smiles. His effective mind, his corny jokes, his infinite love for cheese, the way he sneezed. The rhythm of speech and laughter. 

It pained him the day he would discover his deception.

The day when he would come to despise him in turn, when he figured that he was the second born of the Calenhad bloodline.

That he forever was stripped of its privileges because of his talents.

Because he was a mage.

 

He would come to loathe _magic_. 

 

" --But I suppose we all need to have our hobbies. " His friend finished as he turned a page in the tome in his hands. He had obviously been talking while Amell had been lost in his thoughts.

" Look, " Aaron finally signed and placed down his book. " Haven't-- "

" Oh, you mean the part about you meeting her? "

 

Amell silently cursed to himself for getting lost in his ramblings. He hadn't been mentally prepared for the assault the other mage would throw at him. Instead he raised a brow as he heard the cold reply.

" What are you--"

" Lumen! " The other man suddenly yelled and threw his book in Amell's face. It took a great deal of effort not to scream from the pain as he felt the end of he cover nudge his nose. It had been broken after all, and was still sore. " Why did you wait to tell me--"

" For Makers sake, Finn! That wasn't her! " Amell cut off as he rubbed his nose with a deep snarl.

The other mage stopped his rant and stared up with troubled eyes. " ..It wasn't? "

" No! " Amell yelled then sighed as he picked up the book he held in his hand. His eyes became thin in spite as he saw what was written on the cover,

 _The History of Grey Wardens in Ferelden,_ by Brother Genitivi.

Yet _another_ reminder from his close friend that it was pointless trying to shed him from the truth.

" Then who.. "

" Some dalish look-alike. " Amell grunted and rose up with the book in hand. " Believe me I was as surprised as you. " He walked passed the other man with slow steps and placed the book in it's right place in the library. " Another false lead. "

" Damn. " Finn gasped as his hand found his temples. " Where, just WHERE is she? "

Amell observed the other mage with a bit of regret as he saw him fall back in the chair damperd down and denoted of his previous hope.

 

He had selfishly told him that he needed to find Lumen because she was their friend. For years he had denied him contact with her. And now Amell had used him.

Not for his own good, but for the sake of the kingdom.

He had been appointed as Alistair's medikus because he knew almost everything when it came to healing in practice and magic alike.

 

Because he _knew_ of the wardens folly. 

 

Their curse, or chain, if you will. It had taken some persuasion from Lumen's side to the First Warden. He had not been pleased, to put it mildly. Even the personal letter that she later had delivered smelled of the raw threat that was hidden between the lines.

_" You'd do well to follow his every instruction. Even I dare not say no. "_

Her warning had been well placed. The first warden was, after all, the ruler of Weisshaupt. It was therefore vital that they find her, for she was most likely in trouble and on her way to find a cure as well. His knowledge about them was something strictly forbidden by the order, but had been overseen because of its necessity when they had one of their own on the Fereldan throne. The king would not be able to follow his oath in the same manner, but he would offer opportunity for their order unlike any other regent. He would take their warnings seriously.

 

Long ago Amell, Anders and Finn studied under the same mage. Lumen and Jowan was their roommates, but studied their specialisations under other teachers.

While Lumen had the pleasure to have Irving as her councillor, Jowan was unfortunate to have Uldred.

Years later it had been discovered that Uldred had influenced him, little by little. For years. And that it was his own mentor that had told him to get in contact with the young initiate, Lily. Jowan, even if he went through with it, was really just another victim of the influence he held over others.

And Finn, that held a much similar historical interest had cherished Lumen.

Amell held back an inappropriate snicker as he remembered the young face on his comrade in the chair would get whenever she had walked inside the classroom. Many were smitten by that so very different and quiet girl. Oblivious to it all she worked her magic around them, and finally got trapped for one silly man.

A bastard prince that hardly could tell which shoe should be put on each foot.

And Amell?

He had, without question been interested in girls. Oh yes, without a doubt. But living as they did there hardly were any sort of chances for romance. Neither was it encouraged. Why, his mentor Wynne had at many occasions wiggled her finger warningly as soon as she saw him spot a girl, even before he made a move.

 

And yes, as pathetic as it sounds his little bird _did_ take it. His 'innocence'.

 

While his mentor had laughed and made corny grandmother jokes on how she would knit them socks, make them pies and tell their future children stories of how they defeated the Blight he did not think bad of it. She was, after all, the closest thing he had in a mother.

And it did, in some ways, come true.

She did tell little Aaron of how he aided the hero of Ferelden by the evening fires.

It is the older mages, the ones that remembers how it had been that were careful in the circle. While his son had, despite it sounding strange, loved the tower. Newly built, and filled with children his own age they made quite a mess for the templars as they played them pranks.

 _"_   _All hail the Queen of Antiva! "_

He could not help but wonder what his nightingale would have thought of him becoming a father.

He leaned back in his chair, suddenly memorising their years after the Blight. She had been on her way to Orlais, while he had returned to his previous duties in the new Tower of Magi.

He let up his head in a sigh, pondering over her reaction for his letter.

Did she blame him, or did she rejoice?

He knew it was selfish of him, and that she probably already had moved on. But after his experiences with Alexius he had been rethinking his life. He had been reminded of what he wanted. 

He had been afraid.

When he was in that old cellar beneath the castle, the same cell as Jowan had been in ten years prior he had felt more scared than ever. And he truly did not know if he would see another day.

With Lumen, he would have been certain, but this..Ithilwen character was way to mysterious for him to know. He could honestly say that he did not trust her at the time. She seemed way to impulsive, way to rash and way to young to make decent decisions.

And as he alone and bloody observed the marks and constellations written by his old comrade that now we're only a few scrapes in the old wall he had kept the image of her red hair and deep blue eyes vivid in his mind.

By every moment of peace he would think of her warm embrace and the comfort her voice would have brought.

And as soon as he was alone, he would have brought out that withered old flower that with it fragrant scent would remind him of what life truly was about.

 

" Father! "

 

The two turned, a bit surprised by the new light and clear sound of a younger voice. Before Amell had the chance to stop him the boy had flung up and landed on his lap with great speed.

" Father! You cannot begin to imagine what I just saw! "

" Well _do_ go on. " Amell laughed as he let out a heavy breath. The boy might have been small for his age, but he was still big enough to cause harm as he jumped up and down.

" Look outside! It's gone! "

He stared at the boy, then at Finn who instantly squinted his gaze through the windowglass.

" By the Maker.. It's.. "

Amell laughed astonished by the revelation and caught his forehead.

 

" She did it. "

                                                                                                     ~*...*~

" How is she faring? "

Solas looked to the side, and at Dorian who walked inside the small room with a fresh pitcher of water. He gently placed it on the small counter next to the bed where Ithilwen was sleeping and dragged fourth a chair and placed himself as quiet as he could do it.

Madame Vivienne who was leaning against the wall with a tome slammed it together as she ventured forth. " She has been sleeping the whole time. Considering the information given by Blackwall we both imagine it is for the best. "

It certainly was, Solas agreed silently. Stabling the mark in the beginning had been no small feat. Even in her sleeping state she had been hard to control. Dorian had flown several meters from a simple and unintentional punch by her uncontrollable arm. Even Cassandra, with her prowess could not force her down, since she did not use lyrium. In the end, Cullen had been forced to drain her from mana, which put her in an even more uncertain and frightening circumstance.

Absolute and utter silence.

It was as if she had shelterd herself from him, and other people.

She had been in her sleeping state for a whole day already, and none of them seemed able to wake her. Neither had he been able to find her in the Fade. Unlike last time, she was completely still, no thrashing, no dilated pupils.

No muttering about the many, green eyes.

The only thing out of the ordinary was the body temperature and extreme heavy weight. It had taken Cullen's and the Iron Bull's combined strenght to lift her home.

Dorian nodded and looked down at her sweaty face, leaning a little forward with a piece of wet cloth so he could wipe her forehead. A flash escaped her body and he hissed in pain as his hand quickly fell back.

" The mark seems to govern most of her by now. " Solas said with an unexpectedly cold voice. " I am at a loss on how to proceed. "

 That was not entirely true.

 

He knew _exactly_ what needed to be done, but lacked the courage to do so.

 

Sinking the dagger would have to be the absolute last step. For if she died, the power to seal the rifts might disappear with her. He needed more time to figure out how to draw that essence from her hand, before she ventured to the other side. If she already wasn't there.  He knew that after so much stress to her mind she might not recover.

She might even not be the same person waking. Not many could take that amount of pressure and walk out sane.

 

" So, apostate. If the Circle is such a failure, what would be your solution? Would you have your fellow mages live among the people, unguarded, unwatched? "

Solas looked up at Vivienne who had stepped closer. Irritated by the new subject at hand. " Yes. " He answered as he once again turned his focus to the girl on the bed.

" And when they became possessed, or use their power to harm? "

His head turned a little to the side, perking his ear. _That_ remark was certainly a reminder of what was in front of him, but did she seriously wish to kill the only living link of sealing the breach before finding a way to preserve that power? Even she was not that foolish.

" I would kill them. " He finally said after a moment of careful consideration. " Magic is more elegant than a blade or a bow, but a murderer remains a murderer. "

" So you alone would pass judgment, repay murder with murder, or do we open this up to mobs and vigilantes? " The Enchantress scoffed and leaned on her hip with her other hand catching her chin far up in the air. " If you're going to dispense judgment upon violent mages yourself, you'll need eternal life and omniscience. If only there were individuals dedicated to finding and eliminating such criminals. Perhaps they might help? "

He calmly stared forward. " I am certain they would. Until black and white distinctions perverted their simple minds. "

" Kaffas! " Dorian swore as he looked up at the others. " She is still breathing! Do not even presume I would let you come within a five foot radius with a knife. "

Solas eyes widened, only for a moment before they took normal shape once more. Dorian was not an idiot, and he too would shroud his words. To think him come out of his shell like this was most uncharacteristic, and he marveled at what desperation he must have felt at this moment.

" None claimed to wish her dead. " The enchantress smugly said as she looked down at him on the stool. " I'm just getting perspective over our dear little apostate and his hypocritical theories. "

" This is hardly the time for such idle banter! " Dorian said as he flung up from his lower position.

For Him losing temper was extraordinary, and Solas couldn't help but to feel amusement over it. But as the Tevinter had said just a second ago, this was not the time.

" Dorian. " Solas utterd quietly with a sharp tone. " This is hardly the time acting as a peacock. Sit down, or leave the room. She needs calm, not more heated voices. "

 

He looked at Solas, then Vivenne and sighed as he fell down on the chair again, bringing his forehead to his hands. The only choise at the time was to stand there, speechless as he saw the gigantic green wall growed. He had felt incredible inferior to whatever magic that had been standing in the commanders way. Collecting his thoughts and concentrating his own energy to her had not been easy. Like looking for a needle in an haystack.

Litterly.

It was as if comparing her to a stump of a candle that minuit by minuit shrinked into a puddle of hot vax, desperately clinging to it's flame. Whatever magic that surrounded her now was not hers, but seemingly simular to the one that had been seeping out of the Breach.

She was becoming a new Breach.

_" The magic she has received enhances whatever emotions that may lay dormant. "_

Just as in Redcliffe. Just as in when she was transforming. 

That horrible and terryfiyng aura was claiming her. Again. And he could do nothing. All he could, was to stare and offer her help throgh his mana.

He turned his gaze to Solas who was holding her marked hand in his. The way he was holding it puzzled him. It was rather obvious that it was the touch of someone who held her dear, and not the the observer he had been in the past.

It was even gentler than that of a friend.

And more _needing_ than that of a father.

 

 

                                                                                                    ~*...*~ 

 

" Banal, tel'era. Cullen na mara san-- "

 

" What are you referring to? " 

Broken from his chant the boy turned around, looking at the man panting relentlessly far behind.

" She sings. They sing. "

A step, and he was on the other side of a huge cliff, parted in two. He then turned, towards the older man in the muddy robe that undoubtedly had been as white as snow when he put it on. He knew of his hesitation even before he saw the great distance which the younger had managed himself over. But unlike the younger, the elder could not further himself in the same way.

And even if he had been younger, he would not have been able to jump like him anyhow. Few could.

" Don't worry. I will help. "

The robed man looked up and tried to focus his eyes in the others eyes. It was hard because there almost was nothing to focus his gaze on. There was something off about him, and he seemed to see his thoughts, as if they were small clouds over his head. A wisp, or an image, who could say? He  did not trust him entirely, did not trust himself that there actually was someone standing there. 

" I will catch you. Jump. "

He looked over the hill, then at the boy. took a few steps back and ran.

Just as he had promised the pale boy managed to grab his arm as he slipped on the muddy ground right at the cliffs edge. He couldn't help but to scream as he felt gravity pull him back, but then the force of the boys hand bring him to the right track. The older swallowed his breath as he felt his feet take ground and gasped as he looked over the deep and black fall.

" We need to hurry. The Templars are comming. "

The older gasped as he followed. " How do you know of this? I did not see you at Therinfal. " 

He had run after. Idioticly trusting the other to know the way. It was strange that he would trust this mysterious thing over the self proclaimed Herald, but he had no choise. Not when the templars had starting to kill one another.

For when she sought help from the mages, he had taken it upon himself to seek out the Templars.

 

It had been a good idea,

at first.  

 

But as he spotted the high Seeker and the templar next to 'it', and when he had seen their eyes, he has turned, sneaked out the same way from once he had come. It had not been long before he had seen the monster upon it's winged beast roar as it flew off, glowing red in the distance, and hearing them scream illwilling far behind.

But he had one advantage. He knew the way to Haven, and he was alone.

The beast might be winged, but it's master would not leave his army, and you just don't secure and hand out weapons to a force of that number in a jiffy. He would have time to warn them.

If he could run. He had never been an athlete, not a warrior.

He had been a man of peace, he had told himself all those years. One who would battle with words and not his fists. Totally useless from what he had seen now.

 

" I was there. " The boy whispered and continued forward, " I just didn't let you see me. "

The older stared after him. The boy with the large hat might have looked innocent, but the blood on his daggers hanging on his back said otherwise.

He was dangerous.

" Just as you are. "

He looked up again, and at the boy who now stood right in front of him with a glare that could have sent him through the ground. It was not threatening or anything, but it was just..

All Knowing.

" You wanted them for yourself. "

He dropped his gaze from the boy. Again, his tone had not been demanding, nor patronising. Just blunt and straightforward. Truthful.

And he, like a child had been caught, in his own game.

It would not take a genius to see why he had gone to Therinfal Redoubt. Trying to recruit the Templars back into chantry power.

Foolish.

But it also gave him an insightful chance to offer a chance. Small, but still, a chance.

Just because of his age and inexperience in battle he had allowed him to lead and without a mount he only had the boy to trust. He was, despite his worry, thankful for the shelter he gave. He had a few days on him to make it to Haven. He needed to get there.

He now knew that she had been right all along. That, those around her had been right. That she had been sent. That there was a bigger plan behind the Divine's death.

And he would need to warn them.

 

He needed to warn  _her._

                                                                                                    ~*...*~

 

 " You may go. "

 

The private bowed, turned and moved outside the war room, leaving the commander alone to his own thoughts. He stretched out his tired limbs as he walked up from his chair and made way to the window, overseeing the mountains where the temple once had been part of it. And then, he let out some air as he looked further up on what no longer was there. It seemed so weird, surreal. For months that oozing and ever watchful eye had been staring down on them all, waiting for her. And now, it was gone. 

The matters were solved. But for how long?

His mind journeyed to darker plains as he thought of had happened earlier, the day before. He still could not bring his mind together. It felt out of place, that she had waded to such lengths. Then again, he barely knew her. That much was certain. Careless, and irresponsible. Yet, in the same time, selfless.

He rubbed his temples and groaned in annoyance as he battled with his inner emotions. He didn't know if he should feel impressed or angered over her resolve. Whatever awe and respect he had held earlier was incredibly difficult to maintain. She had made this decision, all of her own, without letting anyone in. It could have cost them greatly.

As Blackwall has explained it he only encountered a crumb of the truth, and Cullen could not even begin to fathom on what else she had kept under their noses. He looked at the setting sun and made a new decision of his own.

He would uncover it for himself.

Filled with new determination he walked away from the window and out through the door.

 

With the threat gone, they needed new goal. Sealing the remaining rifts, and find the perpetrator behind the Divine's death seemed sufficient. This so called Elder One.

Some had already begun to celebrate, kegs with ale and wine were already floating. But equally as many were not celebrating. He had seen Solas walk into the Chantry earlier, exhausted from watching the girl. The dark clouds filling his head could no doubt be a heavy weight. Under the surface, they were all, despite their powerful exterior, small children.

Varric was sitting by his usual spot, writing in his leather book by the firepit just outside the chantry, and Blackwall was sitting next to him. They both looked weary. Cullen nodded in greeting, and Varric looked down.

" How is she? "

" I have yet to see her. Last I heard the mages were bickering among themselves. " 

Varric chukled in agreement, shaking his head. " That's how they are, the smarts. Sometimes they're to smart to see the easy way out. "

" And you can see it? " Cullen said with a quirked brow.

Again, the dwarf laughed. " I said no such thing. I'm just pointing out that she might need some time to breathe, not another miracle cure. "

Blackwall grunted next to Varric. " You don't think he's given her plenty of opportunities to come clean? "

The two humans shook as Varric slammed together his book. 

Again, the damn elf had reminded him of his best friends. He felt homesick, but seeing how it's completely in the middle of a warzone it seemed safer where he was right now. And the book he was busy writing could take all kinds of turns. He was exited, and heavy at heart. He didn't deal with things, never cleaned up his mess.

She had taken it upon herself to take care of others, and all she got was angry comments when she wasn't there to defend herself. For months she had hid the pain, the agony and kept by herself, and not because she wished to be left alone, but to keep morale up. 

_Another Hawke._

He opened his eyes as the nostalgia hit him. He really liked her. It was not her wit or even leader like characteristics.

He liked her _fire_.

She would give anything to save others, even herself. And here the Commander would glare and wine. The warden had as well. But what they all failed to realise that it had been all for them. The scheme she had hid was for the people they tried to defend.

" She is the kind of person that wants to save everyone, and is ready to sacrifice herself for it. Don't for a minute dismiss what she's done. "

He brought himself up from the bench and looked at the two other men who had dropped their jaws. " She fights so others don't have too. And she never even wanted to be your Herald. "  He took his coat and made it to the inn. He needed a pint.

Or five.

 

Blackwall looked after Varric who vanished through the tavern door with a bang. 

" Would you mind letting me tag along? I've been a little worried over her. "

Cullen looked over him and nodded, then turned to walk. Blackwall followed after. He would have wished to see her alone, but did not want to deny him either. It somehow troubled Cullen and for a second time that hour he again felt irritation over the whole situation. He had never thought bad of the man before, but for him to know more than him.. It was unpleasant.

Why was the warden good enough, and not himself? Why did she not trust him? Because of what he said in Redcliffe? Or because of what he was? It hurt. Incredibly. That she would think so low of him. But then again. He clearly did not know her. That she even would.. He clenched his jaw tighter as he felt the irritation only bubble over. He had nothing to feel jealous about.

She was not _his_.

 

He opened with more might than he had intended and the door slammed as it was brought aside. He ignored the look given by Blackwall and huffed as he slowly took one giant step inside.

The tevinter mage, Dorian, was sitting next to the bed, with a blanket over him. But the rest of the room was quiet.

Too quiet.

" What's.. "

Cullen looked at the mage who rubbed his eyes next to the bed. He quirked his brows with groggy eyes as he spotted the two other men inside. " What's going on? What are you-- "

Before he knew of what had taken hold over him Cullen made it to her bed and harshly brought the sheets away from the bed. Dorian gasped angrily, but stopped as he saw the bed.

Empty. Not even a sign of warmth.

Dorian, as well as Blackwall stared while Cullen turned slightly and asked out with a growl in his throat.

" Lavellan. " 

No answer.

He looked around, squinting for any sign but then went to the closet, throwing the doors to the sides.

" When did she..? Kaffas! " Dorian cursed as he found his feet to the window. It was locked, same as before. 

Cullen walked towards the exit and stepped outside with a clenched jaw. Blackwall and Dorian joined him outside, but was a far more desperate than himself.

" Go to the Chantry. " Cullen icely growled as he stepped towards the gate. " Find Solas. " They both nodded and ran. He already knew where to head, and did not want an audience when he would bring down his scolding.

 

The lake.

 

He had already made it outside the village gates and stepped towards it when he heard something that sparked his interest.

" Lady Herald. "

He did not even freeze still, simply just turned as soon as he heard the voice who had uttered the title.

He would not let that idiot sass her, not now.

Not before him.

 

                                                                                                    ~*~

 

She looked up over the cribs walls as she heard the rather.. _Thick_ voice from the enchanter. A quick sigh left her mouth and she forced the brightest smile she could muster and stepped up, using Duke's leg as support. She was weak and did not relish in showing it, but neither could she sit down in the other's presence.

As soon as she had awoken she had felt wrong, hot, and weary. It was hard to keep her eyes up. The pain was still there, but almost forgotten, if that even made any sense. She felt like she was drowning out, and even the simplest things like hearing, seeing, breathing had become more strained. Dorian had been sleeping next to her, roughly resting against the wall with his back and head. She would undoubtedly miss him the most.

Because as soon as light vanished, she would be like a just as a thief in the dark.

Gone. 

But first, there was a few things that needed to be done.

It was in the crib wrapped in a worn old blanket, waiting next to Duke, who had been irritated by her presence. But if this would be their last night she wanted to offer her farewell. A bag was waiting under her bed, filled with her clothes, a book too keep her mind occupied and two sovereigns, the same amount that she had received, but never spent by Deshanna when she first left for the Conclave.

By whatever god there was, it seemed as if it were ages ago, when in truth it might have been, what, six months ago? Times go faster when you have fun, and despite the hardships that had been thrown in their way she would remember her last days with warmth.

She looked at the mage in front of her, taking in his shape. Like most 'city' elves he was thin, short, and has abnormally big eyes and ears. She didn't claim that the dalish life was any better, but they looked a whole lot healthier. Although this particular character in front of her had a whole different stance than his cousins living on the streets. He had attitude, a backbone.

" Yes? "

" We haven't met. I am Enchanter Norman Edwards, of the White Spire. "

Ithilwen smiled and slightly bowed her head in greeting. _His name is an odd one, especially for an elf,_  she thought as she moved outside the pen and walked forward to him. " A pleasure, Enchanter. I am, as you may know Ithilwen, of clan Lavellan. "

" Yes, I have heard of you origin. " He waved dismissively and cupped his cheek as he observed her from top till to with a calculating gaze. " Most.. _Curious_ that an Dalish elf would endeavour herself within the Inquisition. "

She felt the smile getting strained and relaxed it a bit. " The Breach affect not only the cities. "

The mage however had not taken that as a positive affront. He openly misunderstood her sentence. " Doesn't the Dalish openly reject the way of society in Thedas? Or have the 'people' finally understood the part about the rest of us? " He knew that it hurt. He saw it well on her cracking face. " Or do the Dalish hope to bring prosperity when the walls crumble and the citizens flee? "

 

" That's enough out of you! "

 

She shook once more as she heard the sultry tone of Cullen. He looked terribly angry, though not at the mage that had been trying to pick a fight she imagined.

He was angry at _her_.

In but a heartbeat he had stepped forward and reached up his finger at the mage. " I know not how many times I need to tell you to stop pestering the Inquisition people. "

" And here I thought we all were friends, _Commander_. " Norman said with a triumphant smile and raised hands. " Or is it perhaps my imagination playing me tricks? "

" Norman, would you really risk the alliance we so carefully built only to get a few shots at the Herald? "

Norman turned back to Ithilwen who had stepped closer. " Would you risk the safety of the mages, only because you don't get to sleep on a mattress? "

He gawked with round and surprised eyes for a moment, and then anger caught him off guard. " That is not the issue! "

" I would most certainly think it is. " Ithilwen replied as she leaned a bit forward and stepped in between Cullen and the other. " You grow respect from deeds, enchanter, and so far I have seen little to change my opinion of you. "

Here he smugly grinned as he looked down on her. " Easy for you to say, hadn't it been thanks to us mages the Breach would still have been a threat. "

" And what, like that makes a difference? "

Red as a tomato the mage gawked and rose one of his fingers. " I'll have you know I was appointed as the arl of West Hill's-- "

" And I'll have you know, Enchanter, " She said as she with a low tone walked closer to him. " The Inquisition secured your safety. The Inquisition prevented you from becoming tevinter slaves. "

Cullen stood quietly behind her, but from the tense shoulders he knew how scared she was, despite it all being hid under the low tone she growled from clenched teeth. She raised her hand, holding her palm close against the mage's face barely making any contact.

" The _Inquisition_ is the holder of this mark. " 

Her hand fell to her side with a harsh movement as she took one close and threatening step towards the enchanter, who seemed speechless. " We all have our uses, but I shan't take another insult. You are here thanks to the hospillity from the Inquisition, and they alone hold the power to change your fate. Let the mages work, earn your place, just as children do! Then you might have the 'respect' you yearn for. " She stretched out her back and sighed.

" Now, be on your way. "

Cullen observed with low brows as the mage walked off, awfully quiet unlike so many other times

It seems strange to think him silenced. He always had a comeback, had at every turn argued back. But now he looked like an old dog with a his tail between his legs. And like that old dog he would go back and lick his wounds. He then looked down at her. Even she was quiet, and then..

Falling.

He couldn't help twitch when he felt the heat around her shoulders, even through his gloves.

" I'm sorry.. " Her voice trembled as she looked up in his eyes a bit from the side. " I feel a little weak. "

" I can imagine.. " He responded, when the notion of being able to recognize it. He himself has a similar pain haunting him. The heat he had felt only from touching her arm would cripple most, and she had been carrying it for months.

Yet.. She would not tell him off it. 

Astonished on how well she had hid it he squeezed her shoulder and helped her stand. She lowered her gaze and slowly pulled herself up from his hands, but did not turn. She simply let out a heavy sigh and caught her head with her hand. He stood quiet at the side, as he didn't know how to proceed their conversation. For weeks he had been aching to speak with her, yet now he couldn't summon a single word.

 

" I know. " He looked up from the ground. " I know this is an awekward situation. "

He gave away a small grunt in agreement. what she just had stated did not need confirmation. A long silence followed once more, before he looked away with gritted teeth.

" What were you even thinking? "

She looked up, then down on her hands. " I.. "

" You didn't. "

Again, he breathed in deeply and caught his chin, drawing his lips up in frustration. He didn't wish to let it all out, but leaving her room like that had provoked more worry and anger. " Do you even realize how worried you all had us? What the damage might have been? " She didn't answer, and he lifted his hand. " That you didn't either. "

Why had he even been worried? Clearly none of them were even important enough to speak with. He was about to walk away when she spoke.

" I need to apologize. "

He let his hands fall to his hips as he quirked his head towards her, angeling it up to see her better. She on the other hand held a very confronted and ashamed stance, making him almost petty her. Almost.

" I really thought I would die. This..Thing on my hand, this mark.. " He did not turn, and she realized that he probably did not care to either.

" I held my mouth shut because I didn't wish to cause more harm. "

 

" _Didn't wish to cause harm?_ "

 

A knife entered her heart as she heard him speak. His voice was low and held a dismissive tone. Anger seemed to erupt all around him and she couldn't help but to swallow in fear and when she saw him turn she only felt the knife turn wider. His eyes, his normally, beautiful amber eyes were as yellow as piss, angrily staring through her.

" By shutting your trap you could have cost us all our lives! "

She moved forward this time, falling one step but quickly rose up again. " Comman.. "

 

" You almost cost the Inquisition everything! "

 

Her eyes stared with round shapes as his fingers was just in front of her throat. He snarled like an animal and she could not help herself from back away from him in fear. He would not harm her, she knew this. But seeing him like this was too frightening.

Worse was the knowledge that she was the cause for his frustration.

" Then what should I have done? "

 He bit back and straightened his back as he stared down on her " There could have been another way! "

" What? " 

Cullen stopped his rant and glared into her eyes, in which she took opportunity to speak again. " What _exaktly_ could I have done differently? "

" For starters, tell us what in the Maker's name is going on! "

 

" If I had, would you have let me walk close to the Breach? "

 

For a moment silence hit them. She had been right in her predicament. He would never have allowed her to step close to it. And through that the Breach would have grown.

" I did it because I saw no other alternative. " She then gestured up at the sky behind him. " Just see for yourself! "

 

He sucked up his breath and turned away from her, walking back towards the village.

He had enough.

Exuses.

 _Always_ exuses from her.

 

" Cullen.. "

 

He stopped, but did not turn. Only breathed in and out, trying to swallow the anger. Her voice had been quiet. Pleading. Probably not intending for him to hear her.

" I.. acted wrongly against you. Back in Redcliffe.. Those things I said.. They were. Aah.. "

He tilted his head a little, but still kept his eyes away from her. He did not dare to. The image of her broken face would only make him hate himself and try to pick up the pieces. A huff of air escaped his mouth in amusement.

She reminded him of himself when he was younger, when he first took his wows. Idealistic, rash.

And suddenly he was taken aback how different he was from others of his generation. Something he hadn't considered before. How old he did feel, how worn. Like a withered and gray door that had been slammed together too harsh and too many times in order to work properly. 

And through that he was reminded by how fruitless it could be to change a young woman's heart. How naive they were.

" I don't think you simple or thuggish. "

Here he finally looked back and was met by her glowing green eyes. For a moment they looked tender, and genuine, and despite of their horrific and unnatural origin he could even objectify them as..

Beautiful.

 

" I don't regret closing the Breach. It was worth throwing my life away for, but I regret never talking with you.  "

He looked over her for another silent moment, then his own two feet. " You must really take me for a fool. "

" Never. "

He looked up, and her eyes looked as if they glowed blue again.

" I could never see you as a fool. You are one of my.. " He could not help his eyes from widening and he turned completely. She began to rush her words, as if she thought he would interrupt her. " You are so nice, and kind, and sweet--"

 

_What did she just say?_

 

She stopped when she realized what just had slipped out of her mouth, swallowing hard. He saw her stare on him, He, of course, did the same. Her otherwise white complexion turned intensely red as their eyes met, and she then dashed them down, while he stood dumbfounded of what just had occurred. On how slow and quick it both had been.

She was just there, right in front of him. One step, and he could--

 

" There you are! "

 

Cullen's hand instantly went back as he heard the Tevinter, and her frame that had turned was instantly embraced by his arms.

" Oh, you sweet, foolish, adorable idiot! "

" I cannot help but agreeing with young Pavus. " 

Cullen titled hid head to the side and saw Solas approch far behind. He looked equally as disturbed as the other mage, and there even seemed to be a hint of flush on his cheeks.

Solas only frowned and observed her sharp pupils. " Bed. "

" Im fi--"

A clash on her cheek. Not hard enough to make her cry, but harsh to make her know that she had been out of line.

Cullen frowned and gritted his teeth as he moved forward, but was stopped by Dorian who shook his head with a sad frown. Ithilwen looked down at her feet, instead of Solas who had striked her. It was well deserved and just because of that she complied.

" Now. " 

She looked up at Cullen, wanted to say anything, but then let her eyes turn from his as she was brought by Dorian to her home. She could hear Solas far behind her, and hoped that he didn't yell too harshly on the commander.

She was the one that had been out of line, not him.

 

" You will cause my hair to turn gray! "

She turned too look at Dorian, who's eyes was puffy. She insantly dashed down her head. Something had happend. She sighed, knowing her question would hurt, but she wanted to think on something else, dismissing what had been done would probably not work, but at least giving it a try.

" Have you seen Alexius? "

He stopped, and turned his head to her. His eyes were round, no doubt from the anger she sensed brewing.

 

" Don't you even _dare_. "

 

She had, despite everyones objections, left Alexius to the Arl's judgement. Because he had the means to actually punish him and had been the ones at his mercy. With no leader and still considered as upstarters she thought it unwise for any working under the Inquisition to presume judgement over others.

But, It was now that she knew that might have been a bad decision, judging from the reaction she had been given.

" You can be honest with me, Dorian. "

" Can I? " He had said that cold, and hard as he threw open the door. " So far you have done little to be honest with me. " He was angry, beyond compare. She sighed and went forward, placing herself in front of the fireplace. Dorian still stood by the door, seemingly irritated.

" I know I acted brash. "

He rolled his eyes with an wrinkled lip " Did what I said back in Redcliffe fall to deaf ears? Apparently so. Why else would Blackwall end up getting drugged? "

Ithilwen stood quiet as he walked back and forth around the room, raising his hands only to let them fall back down. " You drive me insane! At one moment you seem to get what happens around you, in the next you pull something like this on us. "

The room became quiet as she stood close by the empty fire pit that suddenly lit up. She looked to the side and at Dorian who suddenly looked regretful.

" Am I really that unimportant to you? "

Her eyes lit up.

" Of course not, Dorian! "

" Then why keep quiet about it? "

She caught the bridge of her nose, then the small pink stone around her neck. " I did not wish to bring more worry, truly. What I wanted was to keep the illusion of being able to close the Breach. "

" Well, you have managed to succeed with one of those things. "

He stepped forward, took place next to her. After a moment he caught her arm and brought her close to his chest. " You're so cold. " He muttered as he let his arm slide over her shoulder. " Are you sure you are alright? "

She eyed him from the side, and let her head fall to his shoulder. " No. But at least the Breach is gone. " Her eyes became thinner. " Who was Alexius, really? "

He sighed, annoyed. " He was my patron, sponsoring me to higher levels of the circle of magi. "

" You have circles? " 

He laughed seemingly surprised by her question. " Yes, of course. " His brows then twitched as he looked to the side. " Tevinter does not divide too far from the original branch, but it is different in retrospect. " He then looked into the fire with intense eyes. " But that truth might come to pass now. "

" What do you mean? "

" You really haven't considered what this alliance with the mages might do. For mages in general I mean. " When she didn't answer he took it upon himself to do so. " The Inquisition is seen as an authority. You've given the southern mages to.. Well. To be like mages back home. "

She smiled smugly as she looked at him and poked his nose with her finger. " If they're anything like you, I approve. "

" Ha! " He laughed and caught her hand, squeezing it gently. " There aren't many mages back home like me! "

" I'd belive that. "

" I never fit in. " He said with a devious smile as he nudged her nose with his finger back. " The bloodstains are so difficult to wash, you see. "

" So we're doomed to be a future of bloodmagic then? "

" Not at first. " He said with a tired voice and expression after a moment of silence while releasing her. " But you would be a fool not seeing where this could lead. "

 

 _Your wish to dodge the question has been utterly denied,_ His hidden message said.

 

He looked into the fire with his hands folded, observing as the flames danced low and high. " Thing is, the imperium used to be just like the south. Templars, proper circles, all that rot. Then it changed, by inches. " His head turned to the side in order to observe her reaction. " Not that this is a reason to oppress us. Still, my homeland should be a cautionary tale, not a source of inspiration. "

" Could Tevinter be an ally? "

He only snorted. " I'd think you'd be more concerned whether or not they'd support the Venatori. " Here he quickly corrected his sentence. " They won't, of course. At least not officially. They'll disavow all knowledge of 'dangerous cultists'. " His tone got lower, and his eyes, saddened by what he then said. " Secretly many magisters will rejoice at the idea. And if the south falls to chaos in the meantime? All the better. "

" Do they really think that low of rest of the world? It would seem to be in everyone's best interest to help one another. "

He laughed, for a long time before answering. " Oh, you really are one special little gem, aren't you. In one moment I think you a devious player of the game, and in the next this little idealist prattle escapes your lips. Tevinter is all about themselves, damn the consequences. "

" Surely the Imperium could use allies. "

He looked sad as she said that. " I think the Imperium gave up on the idea of allies a long time ago. " He walked away from the fire where they had been standing and around the room instead, dancing his hands dramatically high in the air. " We've been fighting the Qunari for, what? Two hundred years, off and on? It's a point of pride that we go it alone. "

He stopped and shited his stance, pointed wavely down at an imaginary foe as he contined. " They'll sneer at the south behind their silk handkerchiefs and say _'you've had it easy for far too long'_. Let's not forget that the Inquisition seems to be an arm of the Orlesian Chantry. _Anathema_ , so far they're concerned. "

" And they wouldn't listen to our claims that we're not part of the chantry? They even opposed the Inquisition's formation! "

" You think that matters? " He laughed and shook his head. " Don't be silly. " He then gesture right at her. " _'The Herald of Andraste'?_ Your very title smacks of the southern chantry. You may as well be a heathen. No, I believe they're far more frightened what you'll do if you succeed. "

She looked up at him, confused. " Succseed with what? "

He looked at her for a long time before he made his way towards the window.

 

" What do you think? "

His face held a curious and dark expression as he looked her over. " It might surprise you that I do consider myself as Andrastian? " He reached the window and took a look outside, upwards as he leaned against the windowframe.  " I simply don't believe in the chantry. It's a relic, weather back home or in the south. Something from a bygone age desperately clinging to relevance. " He snorts when he saw her smile. " It's not an opinion that makes me popular. "

She stood quiet for a while, then even her went over in order to have a look on what he had been gluing his eyes on. The highest located building with a sun imprinted on its doors.

The chantry. 

" As a non faithfull I carry little weight in others presence when it comes to religious matters. "

" Rather strange, considering what you have come to represent. " Dorian said as he looked on her. " I'll say this : I may not believe in the chantry. "

Dorian looked her over, then leaned up from the windowsill. He came closer and closer and as his hand stretched out she closed her eyes, only yo reopen them when she felt something pick on her forehead.

She was met by Dorian's glowing eyes and serious expression that she had a hard time to read.  

" I believe in _you_. "

" In me? "

" That a Maker sent you. Whether through Andraste or faith. Cassandra isn't wrong. " His voice was soft, and strangely quiet. He saw of her disapproval, and gave a little chuckle, but then grew a confident and intense look. " You were there when we exactly needed you. You saw that future, and the Venatori knowing the truth or not would hope to accomplish that if they could. "

 

And all of a sudden her eyes widened.

So that was his aim along.

" You think I will defeat him, or it? "

" I have _no_ doubt about that. " He said as he leaned back to the window frame. " You have interfered with this aspiring god's plans moments of times. "

 

_" You should make yourself ready. A being appearing to godhood is unlikely to ignore such an affront. "_

 

Solas words echoed inside her head as she sneakily took a peak of her pack under the bed. Even if she ran she would be sought out. Either by the Inquisition.. Or the Elder One. There was no way out, and she had been a fool to even think so in the first place. She was, as Blackwall had told her by the fire, bound. A slave under the Inquisition Banner.

Shuddering at the revelation of her own idiocy she took a step back from the window.

" I.. I don't think.."

" Doubt.. Doubt is good. " Dorian said calmly as he saw her dash away her eyes. " Doubt makes you human, and you realize your obligations. " He had walked up to her and caught her cheek. " So please, don't die. Don't leave, and please.." Here he took hold of her right hand, clinging it neatly to his cheek. "  _Talk_  with me, amatus. "

His eyes were pleading, and she felt her quickly beating heart still as his forehead found hers. " You don't have to walk through this alone! Don't keep everything bottled up. You are my only friend, and cannot stand being left in the dark. "

"..I'm your.. I'm your friend? "

His eyes widend as he saw hers become round, he then smiled widely and brought her in for an embrace giving her hair several kisses. 

" Yes, I'd like to call you friend. "

She stared a moment, but then felt a smile and nestled into his warm arms, feeling the world spin, giddy from the revelation.

She might die. She might have been bound, most certainly now. But even if she felt at odds with her title as a prophet, even if she was doomed to perish and even though she was forced she liked some things that had been given during her time with the Inquisition.

Through the Inquisition, she had come to know true friendship.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Listening to Jason Mraz when writing romance is.. Inspirational.
> 
> And mr Roderic is running with Cole? Yay or nay?
> 
> Yes, Dorian calls her Amatus, but just as Sten calls the warden "Kadan", "Amatus" can be said about close friends as well.
> 
> Translations :
> 
> Kaffas - Shit.
> 
> Banal, tel'era - No, this is no dream.
> 
> Cullen na mara san - I cannot find you, Cullen.
> 
> Anathema - something dedicated in ancient greek In general usage, the word "anathema" means vehement disagreement with or dislike of something. (I did not understand the meaning and had to look it up, and thought I might translate it for you as well.)


	29. In their hearts they shall burn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are on the tide for revelations. The Epiphany on what the true enemy forces entail and that they threaten the peace they wish to bring back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for makin' ya'll waiting, but unfortunately we had to put down my horse last week, when I had intended to release this chapter. Then there was this work and bla bla bla. I shan't keep you up with the details. 
> 
> This has not been an easy decision, but concindering how few chapters I've released at a time I am now searching for a co-writer to help me with editing and new ideas. The editing takes time for me, which I sometimes just don't have as I work almost 24/7.
> 
> If anyone is interessted or just want an insight, be free to contact me via mail : Matilda.Reftel@gmail.com. Thank you in advance, and thank you for reading! :) /B
> 
> Now, let's get to it.

" There, sire. We are just about to spot it. "

 

With a simple nod he gestured towards their destination. Long away over the mountain tops he could finally see it, after days marching through blistering cold and on roads unsafe.

The place where his master would ascend.

A tall shadow lured close and seemed to purr in delight as it saw the appointed goal. The other gave his new, dark master one long look, but then too returned his gaze on the buzzeling village that seemed all unaware of their approach. 

In his youth he would have been overjoyed to see this place of sanctum and healing. To walk the path of a pilgrim to the most holy place on their earth.

The restingplace of their Father's arisen bride.

And now, he was there to threaten it.

 

In his past he would have been afraid to offer his blade to any such creature as that of the one standing next to him. But reassured and brought to light, with certainty in hand and prowess around his waist he could do everything--Anything. And he would do _anything_ for his master.

No matter the request.

Because unlike so many others, he had showed hope for him. In his abilities.

Even if the honorable Hawk had spoken for his behalf, and even if the young Lion had offered him the sword the rugged Vulture denied him a place among them and their order again. Despite the words uttered from the heroes lips, they only paid that generosity with yet another betrayal. It was one of the many evidences on what they were.

Wolves, in sheep's clothing.

If anything, the Chantry  _made_ them weak in an evil plot to be used against them. To have them leashed. In their eyes, he was but a tool, worn out and broken on the ground. And just as all old tools he was thrown away, in the nearest bashbin.

Which happend to be the lowtown market.

Rapists, murderers, smugglers, all different shades of their sudden gray world he never had seen now came to shower him in the broad daylight. The blissfull light that once had been kind and alluring--Proof that there was someone looking out for them.

Now that light was one of the mant bitter reminders that there never was.

It had never been as white and black as he had been led to believe. What they all had believed and what the majority still deluded themselves to believe. Even if the evidence was enough to be stuffing their throats full and even overflow their disgusting mouths which kept reciting the poisonous words and lies.

Behind his crest he would have been immune to see it. It was as if a shield or invisible wall hid it all away from his eyes. Maybe it was the faith that kept him looking forward, the hope that there indeed was a true way. That unyielding and sweet belief that everything was as it was supposed to be and that certain and almighty  _someone_ in his vast realm truly, deeply cared.

But as time went on, thing became more realistic.

The white cloth he proudly had put on as a child and worn to his adulthood became grayer and more wrinkled with each passing year. With every draught. And even an occasional non removable spot happened to fester.

And at one turning moment, it soaked in red.

A decade in agony, for allowing love to flow in paper form?

A decade in hunger, scraping the dusty ground for crumbles. A decade in the cold, left to wither away in some back alley with the worst humanity had to offer.

A decade, _alone_.

They were only a few words, nothing perverted or even filthy, lewd. They were simple, pure.

They were  _real_.

And she, the vulture took it away. She swallowed the rest of what made them human and kicked him to the ground in the process. She took what they preached about away. Because his friend was different.  

 

With his hands, he would bring certainty to the others. With his heart he would fight. They would know of their so-called-gods betrayal. Of his prophets betrayal. Their Heralds.

He gave his men hope, a better ending than that the Chantry ever could give.

And not just for the dust. But for the change he would bring. He looked back at his troops, mighty, red. They were happy too. Abandoned by the very bosom that had promised them peace with the Maker.

 

Because the Maker never was. 

 

He did not truly know if the red whispering shadow next to him was a living one. And even if he wasn't he would bring them all satisfaction in this life and in the next. One that would, even through sacrilege, sacrifice, offer a chance.

And look, here they were. At the borders of the strongest pillar of their false religion. All too absorbed and oblivious to realize their eminent doom. Now in just a few hours, they would all crumble in his Masters wake.

He might once again have been a tool but for what it was worth ; A tool of change. A tool to engender. For what is a tool? It creates, it molds, it sculptures.

It destroyes.

For while his old god had been that of Creation, his new one was the avatar of Annihilation. Together, servant and God, they would reshape the world as it was today. By crushing it down, and from the ashes step up as the true and pure.

He would be his true gods hammering might that would shove the world back from chaos and crush their opponents to dust. He would be the key to free them from their shackles.

He would be the nail to hold the Heralds head against the wooden beam.

They would bring down the false prophet to her knees, making her watch what her Maker never could intercept. They would shake the very foundation of the Andrastian faith to the next world. They would colour the earth red with her and thos who follows traitorous blood. They would give their world a god which they deserved.

It was their time to shine now.

And he would make them _see._ He would make them all, see.

A razor-like shiver slowly went through his spine as his master bowed and through his booming, dual toned voice whispered into his pale ear hidden behind his coal black hair.

" Good, General. "

 

 _" Good_. "

 

`~)*(~´

 

The door closed with a bang. And inside a relativly flustered ex-templar stormed, bringing several books and flasks from the over-stuffed shelves to fall in his passing.

His red pauldron collapsed to the floor and the rooms soul chair was brought aside, screaming in protest before falling back with a surrendering smash. And besides it the one who had caused it's downfall stared with his fist tightly squeezed shut. Unfortunately for the victem the beating was not done, as the opressor in that moment saw a particular bald elf with a cleft chin grin back at him. With a sneer he shot down the arm of the chair will one well-aimed kick, imagining it to be his face that had taken it.

That self-proclaimed Fade expert. Know-it-all, smartass. A fucking wiseguy. One of her best friends. He had struck her, right in front of him. Solas, out of every possible person. He who always had all the answers on everything. He who always heeded to caution before violence.

He who told him to give her a chance.

She always spoke of him with such reverence She always spoke for his behalf, and what did she have to show for it?

Bruises.

As he he had seen the broken and sad face go away another of those mind wrecking and wrathful waves crashed into him. And this time, he did tip over from the rush. And the elf had done nothing but to stare at him with an indifferent expression. As if he had all the right. He had nearly bubbled over in rage as the palm of his hand left her cheek red.

_"  I needn't answer to the likes of you. "_

In an exploding roar he bashed down his hands on the desk's surface causing whole piles of paper rustle up, that sailed around him before settling on the floor.

The door flew up, and without turning he barked from the depth of his gut as he sank deeper to the table.

 

" **OUT!** "

 

And just as quickly it had swayed back, and the footsteps became more vacant the longer he stared.

 

Once more he found himself in complete silence. The only sound was that made out from the drumming of his blood in his chest and ears. His hand went up to his temples as he saw the newly inflicted state of his office, and tired went to the chair on the floor. Trying to cool his irritation he brought it up and seated himself with his legs on the now empty desks surface.

His hand fell on his eyes that closed as he drew in a deep breath.

The last time he had an outbreak such as this had been ten years prior. When stuck inside the glowing barrier created by Uldred.

Once again, he felt like the young boy who naive enough believed that there was hope for everything and for everyone. And once again he felt that fleeting feeling ripped from his chest. That hope.

He wondered if she had changed through the Inquisition. If the anger that occupied her now was caused through their acts.

Green eyes, glaring with her marked hand around his throat. Was that anger brought through  _his_ acts?

 

 _"_ **_Don't touch me!_ ** _"_

 

Her arm, incredibly warm.

It had been growing, the warden said. And if let kept, it would take her completely now?

He sighed and rubbed his neck as he found himself back on the floor again, wandering the quiet room to pick up the many papers and reports on the floor. There were only more questions, and they were back to square one. He stopped in front of hs rooms single, liner window, and where his eyes once would have stopped they stared at a complete, empty and grey sky.

It was gone.

But to what price?

Incredibly little, most would undoubtedly say. He would have been one of such thoughts in the past. Because what was one life worth compared to the many? And in the same time, many rifts were still plaguing Orlais and Ferelden-- Maker knows how many outside of the Inquisition's eye's reach-- and she was the only one able to close them. And as far as they were concerned she was the only one with the power to seal them.

They would need a cure, or make it stop. Something-Anything.

He fell deeper into his chair as different conclusions began to fester in his mind. Would they need to resort to the worst offer available? Would she become a tool : By making her husk that they brought out on a leash to seal any rifts crossing their paths? Like one those Qunari mages, with their mouths sown shut and shackled. Or like the Tranquil, mindlessly continue through her work without the ability to say no or disagree?

Even he did not wish to see that.

Whatever fear he had for magic he did not see that in her. He had changed, a whole lot over the years. Those horrible days behind the wall had become so distant. And he suddenly remembered how frightened he had been as she had closed the Breach. How every moment mentioning it had caused him to shiver.

Her mind was still intact. But would int grow into something else? And if, would she become unstoppable? Would she fail to hold that beast inside her chained? And when push comes to shove, would he need to sink his sword into her neck?

And the most important question of them all ; Would he be able to?

What would be the reason for holding his hand back? Their moment from the past? Out of guilt? Or out of a wish to return the gratitude for saving his life?

But then again, if she died, who would close the rifts? Her death was a permanent solution on a temporary problem that through her passing would become permanent.

And again he saw Solas close to her. Next to the bed with her marked hand in his as she in her sleeping state drifted between their and the world of the dead. Always Solas.

_" I need to apologize. "_

At that moment her eyes had been pinned on none other than him. Sparkeling in the dim, wamrm lights given by the torches just outside the stables, and it seemed as if they danced as his feet took him closer to her. The strikingly vivid blue, glowing over as if beams of lightening lived in them.

One stitch.

_" Cullen.. "_

She had been focused on _Him_. Not the Tevinter, not not the Warden. Not the apostate. Him.

 _"_ _I could never see you as a fool._ "

Two stitches.

_" You're one of my.. "_

Three. She didn't loathe him. She asked for his forgiveness.

_" You are so nice, and kind, and sweet.. "_

And just like that, the wound that had been bleeding him out for weeks had been mended.

And with it, he forgave her. For everything.

The warmth of her words climbed up on his cheeks as he placed himself in the chair falling back so far that he could stare up in the old ceiling. And as he did the corner of his lips slowly curled up as he heard her voice echo from ear to ear in his head.

And as he shut his eyes he saw that young, barefaced girl in the tops of the branches, gliding down the base of the mighty tree with her silver hair flowing over her naked back behind her. The light armor she had been wearing moved slick to her feminine curves as she stepped over to him on the ground, ever so light and silent. Her nervous, shiviring hands, reaching out. The frown between her brows, and then, the smile, small, light. Relief.

She was the being out of a storybook. A fairy.

An awkward fairy, perhaps, as he remembered that awfully weird and yet so very captivating question if she could touch the stubble on his chin. 'Hair' she had called it, as if she'd never seen a beard before.

" You're sweet.. " Escaped his lips in a smiling whispered as he followed the thin linear scar across his mouth with his thumb when her face came to mind. And unable to stop himself he imagined it her to be fingers, along with her velvet voice repeating that whisper again, and again.

And again.

For the first time in years he felt something other and very different than anger sprout in him. Something else than that cold wrath and fear haunting, burning his every step. It was so very alien from the battlefield. There he could think clearly. Here, he was swept away by a tornado, a sweet cool breeze.

Her voice, that would rise and fall with that light velvet smoothness. Her long, tousled silverhair in his hands, gliding between the the worn and crude roughness of his fingers.

Her hot breath mixed with his.

 

His eyes sprung open in an instant as he flew forward, gasping in disarray for his own torment.

And as he looked down, he saw it.

His need.

His heart skipped a beat as he with round eyes loomed over it in a horrified stare far to long for it to be healthy before he caught his head in an embarrassed scoff, not wanting to believe the urge to be real.

She was their Herald. Their holy icon.

And she was poorly. In a time of war. Not to mention that she had to be at least ten years younger. The hot urges sweeping through him were instantly replaced with resentment against himself. He felt perverted, dirty. Like a slobbering mutt wanting to pull his paws all over her as if she'd been a piece of meat.

He instantly flared up only to fall back in his chair as if he'd insantly been kicked by a horse.

Want.

 

He _desired_ her.

 

His hands travelled up to his face, covering his eyes as he felt his chest rise higher.

Was this the reason why he had been this angry? Was this why he had been so irritated at the others close connection to her? To Blackwall, Dorian? Solas? As that revelation began to fester in his head he caught his head, trying to come up with why he would think of it.

Or was it just as simple as he feared? Just pure lust?

And stupidly enough he looked down to make sure he had been seeing right the first time, and as it pressed hard in greeting against his breeches he felt his guilt panic up thickly in his throat. Desperate to find anything else than to settle the fire he felt burning in hs chest he leaned forth and banged his hands against the table. Again he felt weak and possessed by someone else. The anger he had felt. The raving claws against his back and inside his flesh had all been grown from a possessive nature.

It couldn't be. He couldn't. It would be wrong.

As soon as his hands landed hard against the naked desks surface he saw something fly up to his foot, an envelope carrying the emblem of a golden owl. Curious he bent down and took hold of the note, turning it sideways while scratching his head.

He noticed a certain edge to the seal.

Someone had opened it.

Fear instantly struck him like an arrow in the back and he cursed is he in the next moment ripped it open.

A loose and yellow note with a quick scribble fell out first. It had been added later on, judging by the freshness of the ink, although with a different handwriting. Cullen frowned as he felt the odor from the envelope fill the room and had to pinch his nose. It smelled as old mold, moist herbs. like a cellar.

 

_I apologize for opening the letter, but curiosity got to the better off me, for I have not heard from this particular friend of mine for years. But as I write you, know that whatever is in it is of most importance and have to be taken into careful consideration. If it should prove to be as she thinks, (And believe me, it goes against my every inch of pride I got left to say this), the world is in an immediate danger only a few resourceful souls like you, the Nightingale, and this so-called-Herald would be able to prevent._

_I received the letter right after the birth of your new organization and was supposed to hand it to you. Alas, to my own peculiar predicament I have not been able to fulfill this request for fear on my own life. I hope, and as strange as it might sound to you, pray that it wont affect you in any way._

_Tell Varric I said hi,_

_-A_

 

 ~*~

 

" So she has awoken? " 

Solas gave away a silent nod and walked inside the war room, troubled and deep in thought. The others noticed, and allowed him the peace and quiet. _Because they feel grateful,_  He thought as he walked further in. They felt relieved to have him in their company and for have him saving their link on closing the rifts. 

But Solas felt anything but calm march inside his chest. As he had heard the templar yell he had feared for the worst, especially as both he and Dorian had felt the energy around her.

It was just as in the beginning, during the shaping days of the Inquisition ; He could hardly tell her apart from the mark now. And in his fear he had struck her with his own hand.

He cursed himself, as he desired to feel the burn he had inflicted with his palm on himself.

It had not been his intention--Far from it. 

Memories instantly flooded his skull as he had hit her. As he had seen the red against her skin. He remembered the child in the temple. The broken face, sunken in eyes and that swollen lip. He remembered how he cursed the man or woman that had laid hands on her. He remembered how he desired to wring that bastards neck free from his torso with his own two hands.

He remembered how he had cursed the fact that this new world he walked in allowed a child to be broken to pieces.

Now, he had committed the same crime.

She did not say it, but fear for him had been planted at that moment. 

That was not a way he wanted to be remembered by her. 

And now, he felt even more surprised over the notion that he wanted to know what she thought of him. A thing that had not occurred for ages past. He had taught himself not to care.

'Care' only brought problems and aches.

As much as he liked to pretend it was not so she was different. And as much as he hated to admit he wanted to know more of her, about her. He wanted to know her thoughts. About magic, about their people. The Fade, spirits. History. What brought her smiles and grief. What she enjoyed and disliked.

He wanted to make her see the truth, his truth. The real one and not the stories constructed by the faltering race she belonged to. The race that judged whatever they did not know. He wanted to bring certainty to her, and her only.

The mark, despite his most inner wishes, meant surprisingly little now. It was foolish. She was driving him away from his original purpose. Like a wind blowing a tree down. Like a storm crushing peoples homes.

She made waves in his path, and they already reached his knees. But she had to stay as small wrinkles in the pond. He could not allow her to cause the flushflood that had him at breakpoint.

Maybe it would be better to put down the sails on his boat, and remain free of her influence. To let her die out, and forever be stilled on the ocean he promised to venture.

 

And at the same time he feared the great hollow feeling of being left for a second time. That hole that never could be filled. Paralyzed by the side on her bed he had avoided leaving, to the point where he no longer could keep his eyes open.

He feared that hers never again would open.

She had come to become light in his life, one he did not want to see get blown away. But he did not know if the rest felt the same. The young Commander's gaze had been incredibly dark as he let her fall down in the bed. An from that look Solas felt his own heart darken in turn. What sort of thoughts swept through his mind at that moment he wondered. He therefore asked only for the mages to remain. He did not dare to let him stay. Even the guards he wanted to rest outside had been asked away. If she would turn, he would take her to never return back to Haven. And not only for the mark.

For she was one of the few, in this world, that actually cared what he thought. The others might speak with him out of curiosity, but few genuinely cared about others nowadays. Few did, when he was young. Not her. And she had protected him from her own.

Modest, wise.

He frowned.

Brash.

And then a silent chuckle escaped him.

Amusingly brash. And that voice. Her song. He had been standing transed by it, far away, overseeing the lake as he saw her with a bucket of soil.

 

He had died in front of her eyes.

 

She never told him that. That he had sacrificed himself for her. He now understood why she had stared as she stood in the hall in Redcliffe.

 

 _"_ _Ar tu na'din! "_

 

'I will kill you'. 

Now he understood why she looked so incredibly broken. Why she avoided them.

Every time she saw his face it would remind her of how he threw himself against his own end. It had hurt her. He shouldn't take comfort in that, but he did.

She cared. About his wishes. His wellbeing. His advice. Others had branded him a madman, an old fool. His thoughts were too provocative and unrealistic. He was wrong.

But she asked, she discussed.

She listens. Like a sponge that sucked up every word he had to offer. And her well would never flow over.

 

A rather peculiar feeling entered him as he felt the thirst. A thirst to know what might have sept through his future self. Had he not not known of the possible outcome, would he have come clean as they fought with their last breaths? Or would he have done what he secretly desire to do since he first felt her hand in his?

A thing he not easily could acknowledge, but now was as plain as the eye could see. He knew of it. He had tasted it before.

Lust.

An need he had not felt for such a long time. If he'd ever have. His and her people were different. And the feelings sprouting in his chest, different.

And wrong for him to feel.

 

Leliana sighed as she turned back to the table with the map, continuing in the usual matter-of-factly tone she always used. " Then maybe there is some time to question her about the mark. "

" For now it seem stable again. But it would be wise to get deeper insight about that subject, I agree. " Solas added and placed himself with his back against the wall. Truth was he wanted them to know as little as possible. But it was something he couldn't say out loud, naturally.

Leliana and Solas both changed their expressions as the Commander walked inside. The two men exchanged looks, but then turned their eyes away from each other.

 

_" You're sweet. "_

 

He was not alone in his search of her attention.

As he heard it be said to the Commander he had felt an arrow strike his chest, carving deeply into his very own heart. Squeezing, tainting.

And cold.

Not just because of the words. Spoken with reverence, awe. Gleam. But because of the way she had said it. It had been brittle, as if she was about to break at any moment. And the sudden breath he had heard escape from the Commander had been confermative of his inner emotions.

Solas chewed the inner walls of his mouth with frustration as he followed the Commander in the room with his gaze. He should be happy--Glad that she had found fulfillment of his attention, but in the same time he felt the dangerous taste of bitterness in his mouth, and the poisonous cold surround his chest. He kept struggling with the concept of keeping his heart sealed as he had for so long. But she had already broken the locks of the gate. She had melted his frozen walls. But it could not be allowed for much longer.

Because, even if he desired to protect her at the moment, there would come a time when he had to do the opposite.

There would come a time when he had to take back what she had had stolen.

 

" What is it, commander? You look like you've seen a ghost. "

 

Solas looked up for an observation off his own, and the Spymaster had been right. He looked out of sorts. But it was not the kind he had seen before.

He feared something.

And he felt incredibly different from the state he had been in just a few moments ago. When Cullen had left him by the stables he had been so red from anger that metal could melt.

And now, he looked flustered, frightened even.

" I don't know.. " Cullen signed with a certain edge to his tone as he tried to avoid Solas narrowing eyes and handed the letter to Leliana. Her face turned equally as white as his when she saw the writing.

And Solas understood that whatever was in that letter had more important than the affair they had discussed by the horse crib.

Cullen stood silent as she began to read the yellowed note. Her mouth thinned as she handed the piece of paper back and placed her hands against the table surface with a low head. " When did you receive this? "

" A while back. " Cullen groaned and rubbed his neck. " I completely forgot to open it. What I can't get out of my head is why the next note is written in this manner. "

Leliana's brows knitted deeply together as she looked back up. " What are you.. " She was stopped as another note landed next to her hand.

" Read this. " 

_Knight-Commander Cullen,_

_The situation we spoke of in Ostwick has been resolved, though the mage Rylen was more of a problem that I first had apprehended. No matter. Yavana, as you mentioned, have proven to be an excellent companion in the days to come, and I will recommend her for the Templar training as you wished from the very beginning. I do promise not to be so ignorant the next time. Paxley, together with Hugh, have been delivered by your order to their circles. Eadric will hold documentation on the current status, together with Uldred and report later to you. Surana have been briefed by me, so you needn't worry about her, careless as she may be in her unyielding service to our order. This will be my last letter, for with the uncertainties of late I do not trust it to arrive safely with the courier._

_Always walk in the light, and may the Maker watch over you,_

_-L_

Neither the spymaster nor the Commander seemed to notice the dark shadows looming over the solitary elf as he stood in the corner. And neither seemed to notice how his eyes, only for one, brief moment blinked, with sharp pupils as he looked through the old window. Someone knew to much for him to be safe.

If pushed, he would need to run.

 _With_ the mark.

`~)*(~´

  

" Are you cold? "

" No. Thank you. "

Not entirely reassured he brought her in a little closer anyhow, and she obliged. Not because she desired to, but because she had no energy to actually shrug him off as he leaned back against the wooden door with her close.

He sneakily glanced on her eyes as they traveled around, timidly gazing at the cheering and dancing crowds. Dorian imagined it had to be a satisfying sight to see them pleased and lost in the moment for once. A whole lot more pleasing rather than seeing them rush against her with pitchforks and torches.

Nowdays they thought she was a saviour of a sort. And to him, a dear, dear friend. Even if they'd only met just a month ago.

While most would have blamed him for Alexius and his magic, she protected him through their venture in the Future.

Of course, how much of a choice did she have? He was the only one able to send them back.

 

_" There's no one else I'd rather get stranded in time with. Future, or present. "_

 

" What's so funny? " He heard and looked down. She arched her brows as she looked back up on him and he realised that he must have laughed. She looked back none the less with a gleaming demeanor. He smiled wider and gave her forehead a large, wet peck.

" Just feeling a little nostalgic. "

She made a small grimace as she felt the moist lips, waving him away with a surrendering smirk. " On? "

His smile became a little someber as he looked forward again. " This time, I'm the one carrying you. "

And he would pledge his life to do so. Until the Elder One had been defeated. Until that mark has been settled.

Varric had during their ride back to Haven told him of the grim details of the time when they stabled the Breach, and the scorn she had met by those around.

_" People were desperate when the temple blew up. We were lucky it was her and not some other random Johnny walking by. Considering how quick they were ready to throw the Herald brand on the first thing that turned out green, it might as well have been a sack of potatoes. "_

Only for the tables to turn. Now they all sickly worshipped her. She could hardly walk through the village when they stopped, pointed and stared.

 

He heard her sigh in annoyance as she looked up on the small line dancing on the dark night sky and he could do nothing but to agree in it. They now still did not now why this Elder One had killed the Devine, beyond the fact that he wanted to rule their world.

But not why the Divine had to be killed. Why she had been the sacrifice.

Two new deep breaths left them as they looked down on her hand. What kind of threat had they drawn themselves to? And her arm felt just when he summoned fire in his palm that has escalated and was about to swallow him whole. She clearly did not wish to speak about her condition, but as soon as the day was over, he would press the issue. Once they had found the solution, they still had to find the culprit planning to kill empress Celene, and stop a demon army from invading Orlais.

Today they would celebrate. Today they would breathe.

She deserved one evening without the neverending haunt and talk for Elder Ones, demons, Red Lyrium, assassination attempts.

Both turned their heads as they heard a large belch, and looked towards one of the bigger fire pits. People were drunk, and laughed hysterically around them, dancing as if there was no tomorrow around the rising light.

Dorian made a little snort and shook his head. They really were simple. But sometimes seeing that blissfulness was what kept them all going.

And at one corner he saw The Iron Bull look up. He instantly grinned and gave him a thumbs up, in wich the tevinter groaned. That damn Qunari had been stalking him with his ludicrous stare ever since Redcliffe. And made the most offensive jokes.

And even if their talk from earlier had relieved him a little of the stress he still felt at odds traveling with a ben Hassrath-- A Qunari spy. His sworn enemy. And he claimed that there never was a war.

_" Wait, you think we've been at war all this time? "_

 

" Oh. "

 

Reawakened he looked up at Cassandra who had stopped abruptly in her walk. She even took one step back.

" Maybe I should return later.."

It suddenly clicked for the Vint, and smiling he winked as he squeezed Ithilwen's shoulder.

" Do not worry miss Pentaghast! I am not here to sweep your dear Herald of her feet! "

" Oh? " They heard again, and the woman made it closer. " Then clearly I was mistaken. "

" Very. " The tevinter chuckled and released his friend, letting his hand remain on her right shoulder instead.

Cassandra's unamused eyes went from that of the tevinter and down at Ithilwen, who felt them scourge her like fire. " You had us very worried. " Cassandra glared, but then sighed and went closer. And to her own suprise, she felt herself entrapped in yet another embrace. " Never again, you hear? " The woman whispered with a thick throat.

Ithilwen sneaked glances from Dorian. He gave her an arched brow, and Ithilwen sighed.  " I'm sorry. "

" I know. " Cassandra whispered back. After a short while she released and instead let her hands travel along her shoulders. And when she felt the sudden heat from that of her left arm, she trembled and stepped back with widened eyes.

" It-- "

" Yes. " Ithilwen interrupted and nodded as she took one slow step back. " But at least there's no hurry with the Breach any longer. "

It looked as if Cassandra was ready to trip over as soon as she said it. " This is why you kept it away? Because you thought you had to.. Oh Maker. " Cassandra caught her head and shook it before looking up again with pursed lips. " Whatever we might have said did not mean--This was not entirely your responsibility. "

Ithilwen kept her eyes steady in the seekers. " I didn't wish to waste time fuzzing over me when the real problem hovered over us. "

 

" You really think none of us would have understood? Had you told us? "

 

Ithilwen's face fell as she saw the deep wound that her words and choice had inflicted on the other. And she felt the effect from the overflowing cup getting more dissatisfaction and remorse poured into it.

Cassandra was a noble soul who never would deny one aid, should they need it. And she had refused to tell her, time and time again. No matter the excuse the Breach was not hers alone to fix. Her inexperience around the thing called 'friendship' or pride could never change that.

Cassandra looked to the side, as if about to walk away when she felt Ithilwen hand on her arm. She turned with knitted brows and the elf instantly let her hand release it, in fear of angering her further.

" I thought.. I don't know what I thought. I'm not entirely sure how to be open about this. "

" On that, we're in agreement. " Cassandra snorted with a resentful tone, but as she saw the others expression she sighed and rolled her eyes along with her head into a remorseful stare. " I apologize. That was uncalled for. "

" But I derserved it, did I not? " Ithilwen sucked up with a breath and distant gaze to the side.

 

They stood so for quite some time, letting the statement sink in. Cassandra had been worried. She did not deny this.

But then again, she hardly knew anything about the girl. She had done well in secluding herself from the others. And even if she had build trust in her actions, it had all been torn down by her decisiveness. The girl in front of her thought that asking for help was a weakness. She herself had been like that, so very long ago. At some parts she still acted like that. But Cassandra also knew when to bury that pride.

" What happens now? "

Cassandra looked back, not pleased by the disregard for the subject. " Solas confirmed that the skies are scarred, but calm. We've reports of lingering rifts. And many questions remains. For now, however, I think many would agree that you become our next priority. "

" And afterwards? "

" As much as I'd like to complain, this is a victory. You deserve a moment to breathe. " She gave the younger woman an encouraging pat on her shoulder. " Let us handle it for now. In the meanwhile, you should be proud. Words of your heroism has spread. "

Cassandra and Dorian alike frowned as they saw Ithilwen's face turn dark. " Heroism? We still don't know what caused the Breach to begin with! What if-- " Ithilwen stopped mid sentence.

Saying that she might be behind it all might end her right there. And could she afford it? Could she afford to paint the dalish as unreliable if she did? Instead she bit her tongue and looked up with anger in her eyes.

" This is not over. All we have are theories. We cannot rest easy. "

" I agree with you. One success does not guarantee peace. But the immediate danger is gone. " She looked to the side. " I will not lie to you. For some, the necessity of this alliance might end as well. " She looked over at Ithilwen who grew a knowing look.

" We stand before a crossroad then. The Inquisition need a new focus. "

Cassandra was about to speak again when Dorian went closer and caught Ithilwen's shoulders. " Yes, yes! My dear ladies. But for now, a certain little miss is going to sleep for once. And tomorrow, we will think about Elder ones, demons armies and assassination attempts. So calm down a notch and-- "

 

" Wait. " 

 

Cassandra and Dorian both shook and stared at Ithilwen's raised hand. For one quick moment it looked as if her ears made small twitches forward as she rose her chin with her nose high in the air.

And then her eyes became wider. 

" Lyrium..? " 

Dorian felt a kick to his head, but then turned as he heard the bells by one of the outposts ring.

Men instantly flooded through the gates, and a scout in the distance screamed off forces approaching far beyond the valley.

 

" To arms! "  

 

The three turned as they heard Cullen's voice come closer, along with Josephine, Solas and Leliana. And as he saw Ithilwen he nearly stopped. And he avoided her gaze. She looked after, suprised and confused over the sudden change. Dorian noticed it too. A flush, and fear suddenly glowed in his eyes.

He downright avoided her as she made a small wave with her hand.

" The rearguard will go north! " He barked as one of his captains  jumped down the ramparts. " Take formation around the Chantry, should there be assaults from our weakest defences! "

'What's all this commotion?' They heard from afar, and Dorian could spot Blackwall along with Varric making their way down.

" Aye, sir. "

" What is happening? " Cassandra asked, and Cullen turned half a spin. Ithilwen tried to reach his gaze, but he turned with his back towards her. Stunned she stared back, and Dorian grasped her shoulder. As she looked up she saw him frown deep as his eyes remained on the commander.

" One watchguard reporting. A massive force, bulk over the mountain. "

" Under what banner? "

" None. "

Dorian looked down as he felt his hand sqeezed tightly by the one who's shoulder he rested it on. 

" It's here! Redcliffe is.. " 

The recognision in her stare, Lyrium and lastely, Redcliffe. Three things all too reacent. " Where--"

They all felt the impact of surprise as as they heard a chain of explosions outside the wooden gate. Two guards stood with their backs glued, preventing it from opening, but then fell as a last blast threw him forward.

" I can't come in unless you open! " A muffled plea cried from the other side. Ithilwen shook, but then looked around.

How could she not have noticed him before?

As she heard the cling of blades she growled and turned. Her eyes darted between the others, and at the closed gate. And as she looked back to Cullen, who finally looked at her he gave her a confirmative nod and placed himself on the other side of the gate as she threw them open.

Only to be greeted by the view of a swords flying towards her.

Cullen managed to intercept them, barely, but through his resilient will succeeded to get a foothold over the situation as he pushed him back.

Dorian was at her side in an instant as soon as he saw the armor and rose a wall around them, fearing mages would throw fire in the back.

" The Venatori! " 

A growl escaped Cullen's throat as he forced the large man with the steel helmet back with one mighty shove. The attacker groaned in defiance, but was silenced by a dagger in his throat. The plated man fell, slowly, and they noticed more bodies around them.

Cullen, Dorian and Ithilwen, with Solas and Leliana in the back walked outside, staring as they saw large forces manage themselves down the hills.

And on the ground,  Red, and dead. But unlike most they had not melted into puddles, and neither had they been trapped to the ground. They had become the living embodiment of the crystals.

And all wore templar crests.

" What is.. This is templar accoutrements. " Cullen said as he moved forward, aiming to touch one of the fresh corpses, when Ithilwen closed her hand around his wrist.

" Don't! It pollutes you! "

Cullen stared at the horrified expression glued onto her face, and then remembered a certain part from the report.

_" In the future we encountered more Red lyrium. It was growing out from the walls, and even people. The future version of Fiona claimed that the longer you are exposed, the more you become, all for the purpose to be mined from them. "_

 

" Claws sharp, eyes harsh, heart dark. Me, gone. "

 

She stared with widened eyes as he spoke with his hands trapping her head. He looked real, but did not _feel_ real.

The boy didn't smell anything. He did not even seem to take breaths with air. His hair would not dash in the wind, his nostrils wouldn't move. All she saw was the image of a boy, not much older than herself. And its eyes were as piercing and as cold as ice as they stared right at her. Through her.

For he did seem more like an 'it'.

It was that small fact that brought her back to her senses and behind the protective arms Cullen held out. She stared up at him as she felt his plated arm quickly sneak in under hers and bring her close to his chest, with his hand firmly holding against her waist. It wasn't the most comfortable feeling, being pressed against metal, but as he did it she felt a sense of safety fill her up. She let her hand clasp around his on her waist, squeezing it reassuringly of her wellbeing.

And astonishingly enough his fingers formed around hers, squeezing back.

" I came to warn you, to help. " The boy said and moved closer but was stopped by Cullen's risen sword. " People are coming here to hurt you. " He looked around as he saw the red, moving dots coloring the mountaintops. " You probably already know. "

" What are you? "

The group behind her and even Cullen twitched as focused their eyes on the young man with the all to large hat. He just stared forward as he answered. " The templars come to kill you. "

" Templars!? Is this the orders response to our talks with the mages, attacking blindley? " Cullen instantly barked as he loosen the grip around her and made it forward. He had intended to grab on to him, but instead, he managed to worm himself away from the commander and hid behind Ithilwen instead.

She tensed up when she felt the pulseless hands land on her naked arms and Cullen's face fell. The phantom was like a breeze that just swept behind her. And even then she felt no effect of him.

" Listen to him! " They heard far away, and spotted Roderic come running. His robes were dirty from running and he reeked of sweat. " He's telling the truth! "

Ignoring the fact that the chancellor would come running with something paranormal, Cullen turned towards the boy who still hid behind Ithilwen, trying to make him move away from her. He didn't take the hint and clutched closer to her side. Her eyes widened on their own accord.

Fear.

The wrath Cullen felt bubble as he saw the boy clung to her shoulders with his lips nudge her ears almost sent him over the top. It was that horrified expression as her pupils became thinner that hurt him the most. With one large step he dashed his blade to the side, barking so laud that even the soldiers in the lines behind shook in fear.

" Get away from her! "

The boy simply stared forward as his lips went closer. " The Red Templars went to The Elder One. " The boy whispered. " You know him? He knows you. You took his mages. " 

His cold hands left her shoulders, and free from her prison she dashed forward, throwing herself away. Cullen saw it, and in just a heartbeat he hurled his arms around hers.

 

Dorian observed eagerly as he saw Solas lip curl up into a sneer, and how the lightening began to storm in his eyes in the back. _" Indulge, me Dorian. Is it my imagination, or have certain.. Lingering looks passed between the Herald and our Solas? "_

 

The boy's whisper awoke them again as he stood just in front of them. Cullen brought her closer to his chest, shielding her with his arm from the ghost who suddenly turned and pointed up, redirecting everyone's gaze towards the hill North East, right behind the large lake, where he was focusing his thin finger right at a man who walked on the tip of a hill.

 

" There! "

 

He was pale, thin, and the long strands of dark hair hanged loosely against his bony, egg shaped white scalp. It was strange how well visible he was, despite the far distance, and even with her current state she could make out how the eyes were bloodshot. But what really was standing out was the the aura that surrounded him, as if he was part of it.

" I.. _Know_ that man! " Cullen said with recognition in his voice and eyes. And as he saw him raise his sword he recognised something even more terrifying than that of his betrayal.

" That blade.. "

He dove down his gaze on Ithilwen who stared at the sword the pale man held, and the ghost boy moved closer again.

" Envy grows it, forbidden ones using forbidden, sick songs to nurture! " 

And then, right next to him a red smoke conjured up itself from thin air. And out of it, a creature on two legs stepped out.

 

It felt as she looked right into the sun But instead of getting blinded on the bright, nullefing light his beams felt like razor sharp hot needles attacking her sockets. You could even  _taste_ his magic in the air. Numbing the very senses. The chills in her spine would not be enough to describe the pure, raw fear she felt from only seeing the creature walk up on the hill. 

No float, like a wisp from a dream as something even more horrifying rose behind him

Rotting, tainted. 

Invisible for any but a mage. A thought, an image of a pair bloodsoaked skelleton wings rising, dashing the ground aflame.

Just as she would glow green, he would glow red, as red as the crystal formations embedded in his frame and face. But that was only on the outside. The aura sipping out from him, the _true_ him was as black as night. Darkness itself. Terror, silence.

 

Cullen squinted his eyes as he spotted the monster and the man before his face fell. And then, realization, along with recognition finally tripped him as he heard Varric whispered in the background. 

_" Using each first letter in the names and locations creates a name. "_

 

" Corypheus. "

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't belive in god, which made writing the first bit sort of..Peculiar for me. I thinks that it all ends, and that nothing happends. And I imagined what a horrific click it has to be for a religious sort to have his back stabbed and left to die on his own. To have his faith questioned as it is.
> 
> Describing Corypheus must have been the hardest thing I've ever done. The pure image of evil and sin, embodied, yet Ithi and The Inquisition would not know this at the time. Creating a vision of a man with such depths is never easy. But, seeing as he is the priest of Dumat I would like to describe him as frightening as darkness, silence.
> 
> Tzere was a reason for das lettah. Mwaha. If you don't remember mr. Cullen received it chapter 14. "A hooded figure" left it for him. But who could it beaaa?


	30. The Elder One

 "INQUISITION!"

 

 

Cullen stood in awe next to Leliana as he saw Ithilwen escape his grasp and spurt forward with her swordarm high in the air.

"These creatures will stop at nothing to see us dead! They are monsters --no longer men with a grasp for the concept of mercy!" Here she turned with a deep growl as she confidently pointed at the many red lights rolling down the hills. "Show **none** in return!"

Risen swords joined her as she screamed up in the sky and announced her call for their oppressors blood. And as he stared she turned back her gaze at him while breathing hard.

Astonished Cullen stared for yet another short moment before he too let his sword rise. _"She is the kind of person that wants to save everyone._ " The dwarf had told him just an hour prior. Even if she died doing it. Now, he remembered why he enjoyed her company so much. Because what she inspired in them.

In him.

Not through speeches, but through the way she delivered. Her choices. Through her actions she secured the alliance with the mages. Through her resilience and quick thinking they stopped the mage and templar war.

Here he looked up and gazed at the naked sky.

Through her silence the Breach had been closed. Alone, she had carried the pain of her mark so that the, Commander, abassador and spymaster could concentrate on their task--Bringing their Inquisition forward. Together they brought success.

Her arm still awaited him. And her sharp pupils seemed to become round as he confidently roared. "You heard her! You have sanction to engage!"

he halted mid-sentnce as his gaze for one quick moment seemed to catch anothers. And his hair stood on edge as his lips formed Cullen's name. 

"That is Samson, he will not make this easy! With your Herald! For your lives!" As he looked to the side he saw her smile to him.

He remembered.

She was a dalish mage, and he a human templar. Her worst enemy. And yet she had decided to aid him in that forest so long ago. Because it was just. She is their Herald, one they all will defend to their last dying breath. He will aspire to make the world safe.

This time, he will keep her safe.

Trying to keep her back would be impossible. She really was like a force of thunder, a tromb awaiting to sway the whole world with it. But he would allow it. Even if fear would shake him deep.

Confident he nodded towards her as they, Commander and agent in union rose their arms up in the red-bloated sky.

 

"For  _all_  of us!"

 

 ~*~

 

It was a massacre.

A slaughter filled with sounds, smells and sights Ithilwen and Dorian  had hoped never to see again. Ever.

Everyone had been victims of the evil material once. They had stopped it. But all their effort to prevent that universe has been for naught. It had already become an epidemic. It had already spread. For it was not the normal Lyrium that made their eyes glow red and made their voices transparent and hollow. That made them senseless and unstoppable.They did not heed to the plead of surrender.

They were nothing like Fiona.

 

They had actually chosen this.

 

They had been lost. And just like mad dogs they needed to be put down.

The further they moved bodies had already piled up from the fire that had spread, or the swords that had come flying.

 

_"Battle performed during the winter is a fool's errand."_

 

Ithilwen could hear her father's voice echo in between her skulls walls. As much as she hated to admit it--He was absolutely right. The cold made their fingers loose the grip around the hilts and they would slip on the snow. And the Inquisition soldier were a minority. Not to mention that they were totally unprepared.

And _drunk_.

 

The run alongside the walls towards their next keypoint went relatively quickly. They had yet to advance within the walls, but a few stragglers had managed through the gate that was constantly pushed closed. With incredible ease Dorian could finish those who did come in with his fire. They were indeed more powerful and resistant, but more predictable.

And those that still had limbs would rise up again, entirely new to aid them hold the rest off.

The Tevinter had been withholding it from her on purpose she gathered. It was not the sort of magic that was pleasant for the eyes but during this fight he would not shy from breaking his enemies morale by attacking them with their own dead.

It was just as Solas had told her just a few months back. Fire consumes.

And from the calm expression on her Dorian knew the magic presented before them not was alien to her. The rumors of the Dalish dabbling in many arts considered forbidden was not entirely unheard off. After all, everything from changing shapes, infiltrating minds, raising their dead-- They were all tools to be used. And from the deep frown Dorian could see that it wasn't new to Cassandra either.

"Necromancy." The seeker remarked with a certain distaste in her tone. "Never thought you would practice such a gruesome school."

"Ah, right. A Pentaghast. I should remember that you, if anyone are rather familiar with the subject." The Vint chuckled as they ran through one of the gates towards the lower ramparts.

"Very." She groaned. "My uncle is part of the Mortalitasi."

"Truly?"

"Sparkles! Duck!"

Dorian obliged as he heard Varric's advice and rose another of his walls with his mana, causing the incoming red spear to shatter against the surface. With one swift jump Varric flew down from higher ground. The thrower screamed as he was taken aback by the bolt and fell. Dorian snapped with his finger and busted it aflame, which only made it screaming lauder and run in circles before falling silent and smoking to the snow.

"Not sure if normal stuff will work against that, but at least it's something!" The dwarf huffed with a grin as he emptied the tips of his bolts with a liquid from a flask he tossed aside. He then looked around and waved for them to follow. "Come on! Let's get to that Trebuchet!"

Things like 'Hi, glad to see you're okay' was all forgotten right now. Instead they continued on towards their next advancement. Blackwall and the Iron Bull was waiting for them while busily keeping the rocks crashing their oppressors. Vivienne, Solas and Leliana helped escort the mages together with Fiona, brushing off enemy fire from the chantry.

Had it not been for their age Ithilwen would rather have advanced them, but most were older or children. The young and foolish had joined the war. They would not be able to assist in the same way as the soldiers could, and had therefore been brought back to heal and keep up barriers. Simpler things.

 

"How do you do, boss?" Bull grinned as he swinged his mighty sword at a templar that fell.

He was the kind of warrior that could keep a completely normal conversation while battling. It wasn't that effective, he did lose control sometime, but it also offered the opponents doubt about their own abilities. If they were many, Bull could easily sing a tune as he slashed through hordes of bandits without ever needing to worry. He would not squander the moment. At this time, the morale of the soldier needed every boost that could be pushed.

As much as she hates to admit it she felt exhausted and would do little to assist. Instead she attacked the wheel of the trebuchet where the tired Inquisition soldier fled to the side. It spinned quickly, and soon the mountains screamed as the snow ran down. It roared in delight as the many lights that never seemed to stop all drowned in the harsh flood. It reminded her of a hungry wolf, swallowing them all in one fateful morsel. But they were all but crumbs. The real goal, the Elder One, was safe atop one of the other mountains and did not have to worry for one second.

While the rest laughed and cheered she shook as she heard the terrified screams. When she heard their true fright. Her hands fell to her ears, but quickly went away again. She had to be better. She had to realize the loss of life, even if they had become monsters. She had to remind herself that those who died were men once, who had dreams and goals.

Families. Loved ones.

It wasn't easy to ignore the the dwarf next to her as he filled with eager and pride gave her a friendly and firm pat on her back. They didn't hear them and the pain they went through. No matter how hard she tried to to remind her that it was for her people she killed them all she felt the guilt flow up.

"Eat that! Red templar bastards!" Varric yelled as he threw his fist high in the air.

All of a sudden they shook as felt a rumble. And the noise of a shriek. 

A very  _familiar_  scream that she had heard somewhere else. In a a nightmare. In a rotten away prison.

Dorian recognised too, as they both exchanged looks and then gazed back up, trying to find it. But unlike last time they had no roof in between to protect them from the fire. Blackwall nearly lost his footing as he saw the shadow high above, dancing against the night sky.

"It can't be.. Can it?"

"This is no time for admiration! Let's--Look out!"

Varric shoved Ithilwen, along with Dorian and Cassandra away as the contraption that had thrown the rocks blasted apart. Under one of the beams Blackwall fell, along with Bull. Raging Ithilwen fell to their side, Lofting the beam above her head with her left hand and threw it towards a group of incoming templars.

While the rest of them stared, she threw her arm high up. urging for them to move.

"Everyone! Back to the gates!"

 

"Herald!"

They had just reached the smithy when she heard the Blacksmith. At a moment she was at his side, giving the door one mighty push with her arm. It instantly broke and the smith vanished inside, reapered and thanked her. But then, just as they moved on she heard another terrorised agony cry out. One of the worst sounds in the world.

A horse's shreik.

Her eyes widened in size.

The stables was directly connected with the smithy.

She could already make out the smell of sweat, coal, and blood.

"Duke!"

Cassandra gasped as she saw the black smoke reach above the roof and too heard those inside scream relentlessly. Ithilwen stared at the red flames, and the antagonised shadows dancing in them. The gate was thrown open, but the air only gave more fodder for the flames that climbed higher. In but a moment Varric was at her side, pulling her away.

"Don't be an idiot!"

She threw him off and headed inside with the rest protesting behind her. Varric was just about to throw himself after her, when one of the supporting beams fell. Terrified and cold he heard the engulfing scorches explode, and the glassless windows finally broke with the thick, black clouds exiting.

"Silver!"

 

And then, it all died.

 

The fire that had it all consumed just vanished, as if it had been a giant candle, and the wind the blow of a giant.

Varric saw her by one of the hemmings, further inside. Some of the bodies on the ground whined, exhausted and were as black as night.

"Duke.."

Limbs broken from trying to escape his crib, mane consumed from the fire and flesh red from the burned off skin. There was hardly anything holding him together, there on the floor. Her dagger was instantly in her hand hand and her knees on the coal soaked earth.

"Hamin, falon'mir.." 

The rest stood nailed to the ground just outside the pen, as he saw the dagger rise.

 

_They were just a pair of animals, unaware of the war. Why would they do this?_

**_Because they are monsters. Just the same as us._** **_  
_**

**_Let me out._ **

 

She put her eyes on what rested in Dukes crib, at the weapon lingering close to the horse's corpse. The one she had intended to leave. It had not even been affected by the fire. The only thing missing was the cloth she had surrounded it with.

"What.. is that..?" The Seeker asked a bit hesitant as Ithilwen moved up to her legs and passed the corpse before falling down to grab around the hilt.

Dorian gave away a shudder as he saw her arm make a violent twitch to the side. Like a branch ready to snap. Ithilwen huffed as she steadied her weapon and gave it a rotation in her hand. The heavy weight spun quickly a few times, whistling in the air as she walked outside and towards the gate, pointing forward.

She didn't answer as she then looked to the side, and at the opened gate.

"Lavellan!"

She saw Cullen stand by the gate, and let the sword fall into her belt. As soon as they had moved inside she heard the locks of the gate click, and a hand around her arm, bringing her forth.

"We need everyone back to the chantry! It's the only building that might hold against.. That beast!"

**_Let me out._ **

Her heart sank as she felt the deep thump in her chest and an odd sensation, tingling between her ribs. It felt like something was holding her heart in a tight squeeze." I can't leave yet. " She swallowed and straightened her back. " There are still people that needs to evacuate. "

Cullen made a small nod. " I'll run ahead and talk with Josephine. I'll be ba--"

"No. Make sure that Blackwall and Bull gets in safe, protect the chantry. The rest of us will secure a path." She did not dare to be around him. Around anyone. At least, outside, she could throw her anger on someone else.

Cullen stared back on Blackwall and Bull. Both looked as they were ready to pass out any moment. As much as he hated to admit, he had to follow her request. " Alright.. At this point, just make them work for it. "

 

With pain in his chest he observed her strut along the walls, towards the Tavern instead of the Chantry. She looked completely worn, but he did not dare to say it. She already knew, and whatever stamina she had left she needed to remind herself that she could make it.

"Commander, it is in most important that I speak with you!"

Cullen looked around and at the Chancellor that still hanged about the gates. "This is not the time, Chancellor. I need you to escape to the chantry, help the rest to come up with a plan. I cannot keep you safe here!"

"They come from Therin Hall redoubt!"

"What?"

"The Lord Seeker brought everyone there! He is the culprit behind it all!"

Cullen blinked as he looked out on the many templar corpses. He had a hard time to believe a Seeker to behind their assault. After all, they were immune to corruption, neither did they take any lyrium. Instead he turned towards the man as he threw the gate shut. "It's been vacant for ages. Why go there?"

"The Lord Seeker wanted to change everyone's opinions, by bringing as many to the fort as possible.

Cullen slowed down his steps. "How many?"

Roderic fidgeted with an anxious expression. "Whole legions are behind this valley. Infantry, cavalry."

White as a ghost Cullen only felt his eyes turn wider. "And absolutely no one questioned it?"

"He imprisoned those who might go against him. There are far more armies waiting behind, you will not be able to stop them!" The chancellor squeaked between breaths next to Cullen as they ran up towards the chantry. "Lord Esmeral Abernache wanted to petition an audience for you."

"I heard of him. Where is he now?"

"Killed, right before our very eyes."

This time Cullen stopped and turned, afraid that he already knew the answer. "By whom?"

"By Knight-Captain Denam himself."

And just like that, Cullen squeezed his eyes shut as he sighed high up in the air.

Cassandra's own mentor, murdering innocents in the very name of their god, together with one of his own former comrades. Denam had always hated mages with a great passion, after their tremendous time in the Tower. Earlier he wouldn't have blamed him. They both had encouraged one another to do despicable actions. But in time Cullen outgrew this childish paranoia, while the other became more desolate and tormented.

And Meredith really didn't help things.

Denam never really could forgive what had happened in the tower, just as Cullen hadn't been able to forgive.

So he had been the newly appointed knight-captain as he had left for the Inquisition? Many had cheered as he left for Haven, thinking that his leadership had been wrong from the first place. Denam especially.

"It was a pure slaughter! " Roderic continued as he gasped with his hands on his knees. "He kept them all up, like cattle waiting to be butchered, templars and nobles alike. Had it not been for that boy and young Barris I would not have been able to run away!"

Cullen felt his heart shrink even further. " And you're the only one who managed to flee? " He asked worriedly as he looked towards the chantry. "You're sure no one anyone else made it out? "

"None so far I know. Those who opposed him has been locked under observation. It's a wonder I was able to escape. Oh sweet Maker, all those lives. They believed in the wrong thing and for that they were killed." Roderic now looked up, while Cullen threw the gate to the chantry open.

"Delrin Barris told me he tried to send word for you, but that it never arrived, he said--"

 "-- Look out!"

 

Too late, Cullen turned when he heard the sound of flesh getting torn apart.  

~*~

 

The sensation of finally letting it all out was completely indescribable.

 

But in best of terms.. It felt like opening the lid of a bottle--It all came pouring down without any mercy.

The voice, her voice that kept pleading for her to get a grip of herself was pushed aside. She had to quiver that. There could be no room for mercy, conscience. Instead her demand became a sob, silently cursing in the end of the hall. The chains, holding her locked had been broken. Now, she was..

No.

She had unlocked that seal.

She had _chosen_.

And just look at the results--They all broke so easily.

Claws sharp, eyes harsh, heart dark. Yes, _dark._ Wonderfully dark. Ignorant of the pleading, not aware of the pain. Aware of their previous lifes, hopes and dreams. Let her ignore it. What would be the harm anyway? They were likely to die here.

An arm here, a leg there.. Here she stoped in her tracks, laughed and licked her mouth, tracing the sharpness of her teeth with her tongue.

 

_And at occation, a head!_

 

They all tore apart like dolls made from hay. But instead of straws getting stuck in her hair she felt the flood of the red, glorious crimson colour her already soaked tunic.

When a swarm with people approached she felt a particularly hard twitch in her arm and fell to her knees. As she looked down she saw the gap widen. Like an eye, opening. Like an eye, opening. And filled with ideas she let it greet the ground first. A flood of the green energy swept up, drowning the bypass by, all in a single sweep. They all began to twitch fiercely, and she felt herself laugh again.

It instantly died out as she heard the cracking of potts, and the antagonised screams nearby.

One jump, and she was with them both, pulling them out from underneath the rubble with one wife tug. They sprang up, terrified of the creature before them. Ithilwen reached out her hand, but when she saw them quiver she intantly pulled it back.

"Go!"

The elf girl then nodded, took the older man's hand and pulled them back the Chantry, helping others that had fallen on the way.

Ithilwen went up on her feet and walked after. Just as she had passed one of the unbroken potts she stopped and stepped back, staring on the oily reflection greeting her back.

She fell to her knees, feeling her heart cringe.

That image.

That was her?

_**Claws sharp, eyes harsh, heart dark.** _

 

Breathing hard she took hold of her head, wanting to squash it. They then fell back as she felt something wet on her sides.

Blood.

Running from her ears?

Just as she was about to get up on her knees she saw felt something incredibly fearfull behind her. Dark, and threatening. As she turned, she felt surprise instead, and only smiled as she stretched out her hand.

Her refuge.

It was the look she had seen so many times. But not from him. One she never wanted to see on him. His shadowed face seemed to look over her for a moment, as if he was busy deciding on something.

"Ma'falon!"

The shadow awoke, and in an instant he pulled her hand, bringing her close to his chest. She felt the heart drum hard against hers. Him. Her sanctuary. The fear from just a moment ago all flushed away as she could smell the safety that his companionship always brought.

"Dal'en!"

Before she had realized what had happened she had fallen to the ground, and saw Solas stand in her front, with a creature at least the double size with his arm blocked by her saviours staff. A grunt left the Solas as it broke and he fell in front of her.

He screamed.

 

She who constantly preached how she could handle herself. And now Solas had payed for her hybris.

In but a moment she was at the monster's chest, and to Solas surprise her hand went inside it. The flesh rained as she turned, hoisting Solas up. His left leg had twisted and went out of its correct position as the creature attacked. She roamed the area, looking for the others.

What had she done?

"The other's are by the Chantry." Solas gasped at her side. "They're worried. Let's go."

She felt like slapping herself.

This was her fault. He had protected her, and for that he might die.

_"Never regret, daughter. Always act out on instinct."_

_"Choose."_

 

Her eyes closed.

Decide.

The chantry.

 

"Move! Keep going! The chantry is your shelter!"

Ithilwen stilled only for a moment when she smelled the iron and blood. The chancellor nearly fell, but was caught by the ghostly boy as she closed in. Grateful she gave him a nod and moved inside, helping Solas to sit by the wall. All of a sudden Dorian instantly her around and brought her close to his chest. She then saw Varric and Cassandra next to him, patting his back.

"You idiot! How could you run off like that?"

He saw her hands tremble as it let go of the blade. 

_That thing._

"Lady Lavellan!"

Cullen was at her other side, taking hold of her shoulder. "Our position is not good. That dragon stole back any time you might have earned us."

"An Archdemon." Blackwall grunted far behind them as he stumbled forward. "It certainly looks like one."

Ithilwen frowned. I did not  _smell_  like the Blight. But then again, the Archdemon was another kind of misery turned on the world. She had nothing reassuring her that this creature wasn't what he had claimed to be. " They look like that. " The boy agreed next to the wounded chancellor on the floor. 

"I don't care what it looks like!" Cullen shouted. "It cut a path for that army! It only advances and advances. They will kill everyone in Haven."

"The Elder One doesn't care about Haven." The boy said and looked to his side.

Ithilwen swallowed her breath.

"He wants  _you."_

"I know." Ithilwen said with a low voice as she felt the fear settle inside her. "And he could have me, should it save the rest."

Solas made an attempt to step up, but was stopped by Cassandra's hands, forcing him down against the wall again.  "It wont. He wants to kill you." The ghost continued. "No one else matters and he will crush them anyway. I don't like him."

Ithilwen huffed a little for the innocence this being showed, but it only made Cullen even more displeased. "You don't like.." He then shook his head and spun half a circle as he walked closer to Ithilwen instead. "The only thing that slowed them was that avalance."

Dorian walked forth, chuckling. "It was such a promising start with the landslide. If only the trebuchet remained an option."

Cullen's eyes flared up as the vints words took root. "They are! If we turn the last of them to the mountains above us."

"You want to cause another?" Ithilwen whispered. "It would kill not only the templars, but us. Whole Haven."

"This is not survivable  _now._ " He ranted. " The only choice left is how spitfully we end this! " He stopped himself from furthering his voice in the growl, and took both her shoulders, seeking her gaze. " We're dying. But we can choose how. Not many are given that option."

Dorian let go of Ithilwen and let his finger poke the hard metal of his harness. "That's not acceptable! We didn't travel through time and space only to have you drop rocks on our heads! "

"Should we submit? Let him kill us?"

Dorian gave him a long, cold look. "Dying is typically a last resort, not first : For a templar, you think like a blood mage!"

"If there was another choice we--" 

 

"Please, listen! Roderic has something to say."

 

Both men shut their mouths as they heard the ghost and looked at the wounded chancellor on the floor.

"You wouldn't know it was there unless you'd made the summer pilgrimage, as I have. The people can escape." He huffed with a sudden and suprised smile. "She must have shown me.. Andraste must have shown me so I could.. Tell you."

Ithilwen walked over and bent to her knees as she first observed his broken body. He wouldn't make it and they had never gotten along well. Yet he had swallowed his pride to help them here."Take your time, Roderic." She whispered as she saw him struggle to breathe. The man smiled a little as he gazed upon the rest above, as if a bit lost in a haze.

"It was whim that I walked the path. I did not mean to start, it was overgrown. Now, with so many in the Conclave dead, to be the only one who remembers.. I don't know.. If this simple memory can save us, this could be more than mere accident.  _You_ could be more."

She looked at him and waved for the ghostly boy to come over. " Alright. " She then went up and looked at Blackwall. " You and Roderic will lead the others to safety on the other side, while I go and manage the the trebuchets. "

The warden nodded with a long blink and took a hard grip around her shoulder. " Come back, Lass. Don't you go and die on us now. "

She huffed, but then forced a smile. "I will be fine, Warden."

Blackwall grunted, but stopped as Roderic hurled for air. "If you truly are meant for this, if the Inquisition is meant for this.. Then I pray for you."

Ithilwen looked back at the man she had used to despise. She regretted ever being harsh against him, and for thinking him an imbecile. She was a stranger, one who didn't believe in their lady. Racism had nothing to do with it. After a moment of hesitation she took hold of his hand and gave it a firm squeeze. He stared up at her with widened eyes as she gave him a confident nod.

"Be safe, Roderic. I regret never have been kinder to you."

The man gawked, opened his mouth but then closed it as he followed the others.

 

"This might work.. " Cullen said as he looked after the duo and then at Ithilwen who still stood besides him. "But what of your escape?"

She snorted, but then turned and gave him a long look.

 

_You know as well as I how big the chances are._

 

"You can't be serious.. " He whispered. " You'll die!"

"Thank you. You make me feel sooo much more confident." 

 

Considering recent events, it might be better if she did. Better be that her light vanished along with those bastards outside, than her blowing out those she cared for.

 

Then her face was brought back by his hand. "Don't ask this from me."

She stared, surprised by his gaze. He looked so hurt, and she had caused it? She felt selfish, but what other choice was there? Solas was hurt. Blackwall, The Iron Bull. She had to go. She grew a confident and hard stare as she placed her right hand on his chest.

"The currency of war is life, commander. If I can do something-Anything to stop this massacre I will pay the price."

"Not alone." She heard from the side. Solas stumbled forward and stopped in front of them both.

"Don't be an idiot, Chukles." Varric said as he let Bianca land on his shoulder. "Leave this to us professionals."

Ithilwen turned to the dwarf. "I cannot ask you to--"

"I let that thing loose. No way in the deepest shit hole I'm leaving you to have all the fun!" The dwarf winked and placed himself by the door. Ithilwen sighed as she saw Cassandra fold her arms and walk to him.

And lastly, Dorian. " No way you're going without me. "

"Are you sure? It will be dangerous."

"I don't have your specific talent for survival, true. But I'd rather not leave you either. I'm going. End of discussion."

Ithilwen flung her arms around the mage. "Ma serannas, falon'mir."

"Don't mention it." He said and gave her a small kiss on her forehead. "Now, hurry up already. The Elder One won't wait forever."

Cullen rubbed his neck at her front, before she turned back and gave him her full attention. The display of affection with the Tevinter brought some difficulties for him. She sighed as she released her friend and turned back to Cullen." Any last minute advice? "

He looked up, feeling a bit awkward but then mustered up a deep and confident tone. She didn't need more anxiousness. "Keep your head low and straight. Don't take any unnecessary risk and head straight to your next keypoint. The last Trebuchet lies southwest, close to the bridge."

"I remember." 

 

"Keep his attention until our people are above the treeline."

"Noted." She said as she tightened the strap on her glove and then relaxed.

She stood silent for a moment. This might be it. This might be their final chance. She might die, here and now, and he would never know. _  
_

 

His eyes widened when he suddenly felt her finger glide alongside the thin and linear scar across his mouth.

 

"Can I touch your hair?"

 

Again he stared, and for a moment she thought he would do nothing else.

But then, a smile broke out. One of the strongest ones she'd ever seen. That blissful, tremulous,  _beautiful_ kind of smiles, where his eyes seemed to dance with the light given from the torches. Wrinkles formed around them as she felt her hand taken in his, and placed on his cheek.

 

"I see why not."

 

He _remembered._

He remembered _her_.

At that moment she wanted nothing more than to cry. She could even feel her sockets become watery. But with a thick breath she swallowed the persistent lump that wanted to crawl up and blinked, trying to refocus her gaze.

"Let's go already!"

She woke up, looked at Dorian who nodded towards the door, and then returned her gaze to Cullen.

His smile still remained, and filled with exhilaration she gave him a nod.

And just like that, before he had managed to say anything she had let go of his cheek and run outside.

 

Solas stepped to his side by the door opening, observing as their shapes became smaller and smaller.

And her with it.

He was not taken aback by how strong she had gotten. That strength was not govern through her own self. And unfortunately, she was on a sinking ship.

She was losing.

A battle she had been fighting for months was about to finish. And inside, her gire glowed. Like a beacon, faltering with every breath she had taken. It had been a painful process to see that white light turn dark, but he knew there was no other way. And now, the Breach was closed. But the monster, that man, was still walking, still talking.

_And now.._ He thought as he stared at the many red dots continuing down the hills. 

_He leads._

 

~*~

 

It felt nostalgic, in a way. Just as when they tried to stabilize the Breach. Them, alone against floods of monsters.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"These monsters will give no quarter! Slay them all!" She barked with a confident voice as she took the lead and rose her green blade that sung with every heave.

 

But this time, they were not alone against the chantry, the world.

The mages that had helped sealing the Breach were with them, Bull and his chargers, Sera, Blackwall, Vivienne, Dorian. All her friends and her. But unfortunately, these monsters would not go away with the rifts. But even then she would not just give them all up. She would fight, fight for them all, and not for herself.

"Silver!"

She threw herself to the side as soon as she heard the dwarf , and the monster throwing the spear of red instantly crashed into a million pieces on the wall behind her.

"Whatever you do, don't get hit. " Cassandra yelled over the screams. "Who knows what injuries you might receive from it."

A deep chuckle escaped Ithilwen's throat as an image conjured itself up in her mind. The rest turned, as if horrified by her glare as she smiled viciously against the hordes.

How sweet his scream had been. The song of the man she had fought in the wretched future in Redcliffe. Who had gotten crushed against the wall and melted until he was nothing more than a skeleton flying as ash in the wind.

How gloriously he had _burned._

 

Dorian covered his mouth as he felt the sweet smell of burned corpses. Wherever they looked bodies already piled up and it all made them worse for wear. It had been a holy place for many in the past, and now it would be remembered as a place of deceit as people would think of the blood-baptised soil.

They reached the Terbushe, and had to fight for quite a while before they even could manage to aim it. Waves of enemies flooded, and in an angry snarl she grabbed the spinning wheel. 

But her head soon turned up in an roar as she felt the burning pierce her back.

"Ithilwen!"

Dorian was instantly at her side, pulling the arrow out. It had crippled her shoulder. And when he saw the gap close itself he felt his throat thicken up.

She only huffed out a laugh, turned and threw herself at the shooter who screamed in terror as her claws found his throat. Her ears perked as she heard the second round and dueltoned alerted the others.

"Enemy fire!"

They all hid underneath the barrier Dorian would throw up as the storm of arrows sought, but never hit them from the bubbling wall. Like as if hit by acid they all melted down as soon as they made contact. The shooters did not even bother to camouflage and ran forward, going for a next assault.

But was intercepted as she ran forth, presenting their lemlested bodies one after one to the earth.

She did not shy from showing it this time. Didn't bother to keep herself sane.

All she saw, was the monstrous fate she and Dorian had wished to prevent. But here it was.

Redcliffe, in a whole different aspect.

A blow crushed the wooden pole fence to bits, and out a monsterous formation worked itself forth. North, South, West, east. From the very sky with the Dragon looking over them. Everywhere more and more enemies came, and she saw no alternative but to spin the wheel instead of fighting. The others didn't argue as she roaring grabbed it turning it around.

Dorian especially stared at her as she with her left hand seized the wheel.

It oozed around her, bubbling green from the mark that was it's core, up and up the many veins that throbbed on her arm and around her eyes.

Like a festering wound, swollen and irritated. And the green shadow of her ears and tail was even more visible now than it had been in Redcliffe.

 

"The dragon!"

 

Cassandra's shout made him look up and spot it as it made a turn in the air, singing out it's wrath the the fire polluted sky that illuminated red and yellow. The effect of its tainted breath was an astounding and frightful sight as it seemed to be spitting raw and Red Lyrium from it's very throat. With just one dive it could with it's claws pull down hundreds of pawns down from the ramparts with its scythelike nails.

The red queen on their chessboard.

And suddenly, with one quick flip, it rearranged it's direction, going against them with lightning speed.

 

_"Go!"_

 

It had been but a whisper in his head, but it had been as clear as day.

As he spun around he felt his whole body fly away, and then saw a green wall shimmer up, just like the one at the Breach. Out from it the green blade flew, spinning and sinking into the snow next to him. When the dragon puked out even more intensely red fire that exploded within the wall, and the dragon landed on the other side he was up again, running towards it.

"We must retreat!" 

Cassandra's hand caught one of his arms, bringing him unwillingly away from the scene. Despite his best efforts, neither she or Varric listened.

 

She felt fear venture through her at that moment. Now when she saw her fire-kissed arm just grow completely back and smooth.

Another effect of the mark, she gathered. Why had Solas been silent about this?

But then, she felt it.

Him. The creature from before.

As she looked up, she spotted it walk out from the flames far away. In its talon it held an object close to it's chest, as if it had been a newborn babe. Round.

And it  _sang._

As if the item in his hand had a tune, a whistle. It was soothing and drowsing in a way, and in its simplicity it conquered her, making her already pained vision more blured. Her senses was hastily awoken as the creature walks closer, for he had a song of his own.

A march, like drums beating in the lone deep. One beat for each step it now took. Wave after wave, deep, echoing.

She did not have enough time to think about it when she heard the large creature land behind her, and despite her best efforts she couldn't stay still. She nearly fell to her knees. Dragons were creatures out of stories and she had never thought she would see one up this close. It was even more frightening and heart wrecking than she ever thought a thing could be. The reeking dragon screamed loudly up in the night sky, and hadn't it been for the other's order it would most likely have swallowed her whole right there.

 

"Pretender."

 

It lifted it's demonical chin as it with what she thought as amusement observed her cling to the ground. " You toy with forces beyond your ken. No more. " But all of a sudden the monster stopped in its walk, squinting its eyes as it observed her form from head to toe. It felt wrong, and frightening as it then, as if it lifted it's chin with an amused smirk.

 

"Yet again you and your kin try to stand in my way. It did not work last time, and it will not now."

 She stared back at the monster and too quickly she let her thong slip, screaming in a faltering voice. "Whatever you are I'm not afraid!"

It clucked with slow sips of air as it rose it's hairless brows. "Words mortals _often_ hurl at the darkness. Once they were mine. They are _always_ lies." Here it took a step closer, and she couldn't help herself from backing."Know me, know what you have pretended to be."

He lifted his chin with a smile so dark that even the night seems lighter.

 

"Exalt the Elder one!"

"The _will_ that is Corypheus!"

 

The amused smile vanished and became a dark, threatening glare as it now rose it's abnormally long fingers and pointed right at her, through the green flames that parted for his red arm.

 

"You - Will -  _Kneel!_ " _  
_

 

She stared angrily forward, closing her hands that glowed fiercely green the closer he got.

It was that sphere, in his hand, that eye that was behind the mark. She could feel it. As a pointer in a compass she felt her hand drawn towards it, always tugging, always pulling. She lowered her head, but stared up with her eyes as they blossomed up in rage.

She let out a roar as she threw a wave of her energy towards him, but it was easily deflected as he moved closer.

"Never!"

Even then as she growled with a dual toned voice it stared at her indifferently, as if her words had no power over his emotions. He blatefully ignored her as he walked back and forth behind the wall of green fire. "You will resist. You will always resist. It matters not."

But then, it stopped, staring hard into her as she focused her stance, turned and lifted the sphere higher, and she felt her hand twitch again.

 

"I am here for the  _Anchor._  The process of removing it begins now."

 

~*~

 

Blackwall jumped high as he heard the young boy scream in agony, turning around with his hands stuck to his head. The Warden's eyes widened as he heard the hissing breaths escalate from the boy. Bull instantly walked over with a deep frown.

"Whats wrong?"

The boy in the wide hat only continues to shake side to side muttering for himself.

_"It hurts! It hurts! It hurts! It hurts!"_   His head went lower as he began to whisper.  _"He's taking it! Takes it, takes it! **Takes it!** "_

Bull's eyes narrowed as he looked to the side and at Krem who walked up next to him.

"When he takes it they are going to get hurt! I can't! I wont! I wont let him harm them! I will not let him take them! Take me instead!"

"What is that thing going on about?" Bull said to Blackwall who stood besides him. The man remained his eyes on the boy, remaining quiet as the boy only riddled on. 

And then, he went up, as before. Calmly looked out, then around. Bull stared "What happened?"

The boy looked back at the giant, then forward. "It stopped."

 

Solas felt like his head had been kicked as he heard the whisper from the end of the tunnel.

Cullen shook as he saw the elf fall to his knees, wide eyed.

Stopped.

He hadn't felt it.

He hadn't received it.

 

She was gone.

And with her, the mark.

With her, the  _key_.

 

~*~ 

 

"It is your own fault, 'Herald'."

 

With one swift slung of her arm she tried to cut him with her hand, and humiliating enough he caught it, lifting her up. The grip around her arm tightened and even her scream became more strained. No matter how endlessly she tried to hit him with her other hand he _let_ it hammer against his chest. And that only made her skin crawl in return.

She could not touch him.

The red shadow smiled above her as he held her high in her marked hand. "You interrupted a ritual years in the planning, and instead of dying you stole it's purpose. I do not know how you survived, but what marks you as 'touched', what you flail to rifts, I crafted to assault the very heavens." The hold of her wrist tight end and she had to bite back her tongue from preventing herself to scream as he brought her closer.

"And you used my Anchor to undo my work! The gall!"

"What is this thing meant to do?" 

_He's taking it! He's taking it!_

It let out a little huff, as if she was the most stupid thing around. "It is ment to bring certainty where there is none." Its red eyes squinted as it brought her closer to it's face, studying her very shape. "For you, the certainty that I would always come for it."

"Who are you?" 

It snorted and looked down at the mark on her hand that slowly began to fade. "I once breached the fade in the name of another, to serve the old gods of the empire _in person._ "

Her eyes widened as she stared up at the monster. "The Golden city.."

It twitched and for the first time it looked truly angered as it gripped tight around her throat, breaking the flood of air in her lungs. 

 

"THEY LIED!"

 

It brought her so close that she could feel it's breath, and not only did it reek of dead flesh. " I only found chaos and corruption! Dead whispers! For a thousand years I was confused! No more! " It then looked to the side and pointed out at the sea of the red templars that still came flooding down the bones of the world.

 

Now, as she smelled his sweat and flesh, she knew of what he was. Of what he had done, and what all thought the greatest sin of them all.

It was as if he, the monster, led an orchestra on which symphony was created through the agonised shrieks and clings of steel met.

An orchestra of slaughter.

It was not pampered, it was not slow. It was not even daresay beautiful. It kept going, pulsates, like a vein throbbing to burst, and the applauds was the blood sprayed on the wery innocent white snow on which people has walked to find hope.

And just as the small fractures of frozen water, the innocence melted away from the heat of his fires.

 

Mean the while the monster spoke as it with great triumph looked across of what he had created.

"I have gathered the _will_ to return to return under no name but my own, to champion withered Tevinter and correct this blighted world." He then returned his gaze back to her, with eyes glowing of the most dark fire that could melt the ice on the very tips of the mountains. "Beg that I succeed, for I have seen the throne of the gods, and _it was empty!_ "

Incredibly tired she tried to focus her eyes on the creature that became transparent.

A burned believer that wanted repayment for the mess he did not even realise that he had caused. And as the poet of death he would sing out his doom, starting with hers.

And the rest.. What would they do, should he come after them? They had no means to seal the rifts. She did, and she would perish right there in the arms of that madman. Would they relive that hellish future she had sworn to protect them from?

What would they do?

_Cullen._

If he took it, he would use it to destroy what they had built. Everyone would be lost to that wretched future.

She bit her lip as she frowned.

He and Alexius both called her a theif of the night. The 'Anchor' was his.

But it resided with her.

 

" _It_ _is part of you now, and so you must accept it as if it was your own foot. But you cannot give in to its power either."_

_"You are the only one with the power to change yourself."_

 

The mark. It might have belonged to that sphere. To that monster. But now?

She was the one wielding it, she controlled it.

Now it was  _hers._

 

Even she could not deny the surprise she felt as she fell to the ground, thrown against the wood of the trebuchet. As she tasted the smell and the feeling of earth in her mouth. Sore, and astonished with new energy she rose, a bit unsteadily and looked up. And this thrilling suspense or surprise could only increase further as she saw everything with more clarity. Because the lost grip around her throat was not through any choice of the monster. It had been through her own electrifying tempest.

And the dripping red talon felt a whole lot different. Looked different.

Blue, and transparent.

The monster stared at her, astonished by the looks of it as he rose his fist high above his head in what sounded like pain. If he even could feel any.

 

 "You made it permanent!"

 

He screamed. 

In agony or anger she couldn't figure as it walked back and fourth, shaking his razer sharp talon back and forth as if wishing the effect her magic had on him gone. And as the realization came to her she smiled with a nod in relief. She _could_ hurt him.

But as she moved up she felt the sting in her arm. And as she looked to the side she saw it dangle back and forth from her shoulder. There was no way for her to assault him now.

"You have spoiled it with your stumbling!" She turned as It did, while he placing himself next to the dragon that had walked up to him. "Don't think this is over. I will begin again, find another way to give this nation--And god--It requires!"

She turned she spotted the monster walk against her, and she rose up. She saw the white mountain tops behind their shapes. She remembered how it has been so icy calm in the beginning, and how her action had brought it from itself. He was losing it, and there was advantage when the mind failed to connect all traces. Further away she could hide.

As she had made way to the end, she noticed the walls of fire rise up, and frightened she fell back.

There was no escape.

Never act. Choose.

And as she stared back she saw the dragon. The monster.

The Trebuchet. The wheel.

 

"And you! I will not suffer even an unknowing rival! You  _must_ die!"

 

_Ir abelas, Cullen._

Filled with confidence she gave the monster a hard glare as she found her feet. She would not let him have them.

"You expect us to surrender and kneel. We will not. You will face us all." With one swift jump she made it to the wheel.

 

 

"When we choose!"

 

 

Her free hand instantly dashed the wheel, sending the giant rock to the mountain.

And as she heard them roar in protest she ran, jumping over the field of the fire. The snow came. And as she saw it pouring down, she knew her doom was riding with it. She would never make it to the chantry, and the monster would be at her heel any moment.

But then, she tripped, and confused she fell with her head first.

 

The last thing she saw was the monster, as it stretched out its arm getting stoped by the flood of snow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ugh. Kill me. Corny. Ew. 
> 
> I never thought I'd have this compleatly edited. I'm sure there are PLENTY of mistakes in it.
> 
>  
> 
> Translation :  
> Hamin, falon'mir - Relax, friend of mine
> 
> Ir abelas - I'm sorry


	31. False reflections

 

"You had me summoned, Commander?"

 

The woman in the blue garb looked around while letting the shaving knife fall to her counter. "Yes, Captain. Good of you to be here on such short notice."

The blonde elf walked in, albeit a bit hesitant but then placed herself on the old withered bench close to the desk. The news of their calling all had them shaken and the new appearance on her commanding officer stirred unrest in her mind.

A sigh escaped her chest as she remembered her earlier days with their order.

And this.. This was far from what she originally had signed on for.

Driven away from what she cared for. What she fought for.

And as she looked down on the simple silver ring around her finger she sighed once more. Had she died there, down in the deep for that old foolish promise she had made?

 

_" I will find your sister. "_

"I presume you have heard of our new guest?"

The blonde nodded her head as she again was hurled into the dark and difficult world of theirs, looking at her new commander, then at the shadow in the corner. She had earlier that day instantly been able to tell that she did not care for the stranger crawling in the dark. And as much as it gutted her to say so, she bowed with respect and greeting.

"Good day, sir."

"Good day yourself." The man smiled as he walked out from the dark. His white robes danced in a silly fashion as he made it closer and had she not liked him before she would do even less now. Because his eyes.. His eyes shined with hunger and not the normal sort either. One who could not be sated with the simple affections of man.

"Tell me, how do you fair these lands?"

The blonde elf looked a little uncertain to the side and through the glass-lacking window. "I see little interest in it."

"Ah, of course." He said and moved his chin far in the air. "One of the infamous Dalish would find little interesting about it. It is all, the sea of sand. And death." When he saw her frown he smiled apologetic. "I mean nothing by it, of course." 

He let his hands catch themselves behind his back as he walked over to the window where she had been looking out. "But just.. _Look_. Truly, you live as barbarians. I know it rarely rains, of course and that comforts of the cities are left far behind. But still.." Here he turned back to the other two woman in the room with a sympathetic gaze.

"You truly do sacrifice so much for the rest of us. Sacrifice, so that we may live on in splendor. So that the world can continue it's busy nonsense with our false pretenses."

The blonde turned her head a little uncertain about the man in question. He was a rich fart who obviously knew how to spin his tale. She felt tired and incredibly bored from the hidden insults and flat encouragement of their already known duty.

But the Commander, the Commander only nodded down with her gaze stuck to the floor. "It is all part of our code."

"Naturally!" The man said and waved his hands apologetic high in the air. "But you do it without any sovereignty to aid you. Not even the Ferelden king is there for you. We, in Tevinter, have seen this as a problem for a long time."

 

The blonde grew aggravated as she rose her finger towards him.

"You are the one who unleashed the blight upon us in the first place!"

The man grew an incredibly hurt expression and she felt her face fall as he looked down on his own two hands.

"I know." He almost whimpered. "And this.. Exactly _this_ is why I seek to redeem us." Here he looked up again, sad and with a broken voice. "I seek to help you."

"And you will." The older human woman hummed quietly and turned towards the younger. "We have a plan. You are one of our better mages and one of our most loyal soldiers. Beleive me when I say that this do not come easy."

The blonde elf stared as another man walked inside, limping on his broken leg. "What is going on?"

"It is very simple." The Magister said as he revealed what he had hidden in his hand.

"You take this knife. Draw it quickly. He won't feel a thing."

The young woman stared as she saw the hilt of the dagger in his hand.

"Bloodmagic."

"Yes," He said with a serious expression. "--But a required spell. This could end.. Everything." He said with a smile. "Is this not what you strive to achieve?"

"This cannot be as simple." The woman began and turned. "Commander!"

"It hurts me, it truly does. " The older woman said with her eyes closed. "But it is required." 

"Never." The blonde said and aimed to move. "You cannot force me to this."

The shaved human let her hands land on the younger's shoulders as shook her. "This is for the greater good! Please. You share my infatuation with the stop for the blight, don't you? I will take the responsibility for this."

"You would kill a man just for that? This is not what we're--"

"Remember our oath." The commander growled. "You remember it?"

The younger shuddered, but then stared up at her superior. " I do. "

"Hate for this, if you must, but do not diminish Clarel's choice." The other mage whispered with hurt in his voice. "I would never wish this upon anyone. But, what is one life over the many?"

"In war, victory. In peace, vigilance." The older whispered, and the younger closed her eyes with a slow nod and took the knife. The three of them remained quiet, with the stranger mage in the back, grinning as the young, blonde elf  brought the knife higher above the young man's exposed back.

"In death.."

 

".. Sacrifice." 

 

~*~

 

"Over there! Rise that bloddy tent already!"

 

Cullen took the hold of the cloth and the warden the other side. Together they strung it and Jim knotted it together.

The snowstorm had taken them by surprise. And lost out in the nowhere they had forced up the tents. The chancellor was lying on the bedroll, draining, white and gasping. How he even had managed to stay awake was a wonder that no one really cared about that moment.

 

Because the Inquisition, had just been shoved back so far that he wondered if there was any way of recovering. 

Their home base, gone. And with it, the key to seal the Rifts.

Gone were hope.

 

The last thing he had seen as the trebuchet had launched the mighty rock had been the ancient evil that now threaten their world. And he had been informed of it. He just didn't believe it.

Because Varric claimed to have killed him along with Hawke, years ago.

He heard a sudden sniff and as he looked over his shoulder he spotted Josephine falling into the arms of the Warden. Her dress had been completely ruined and her cosmetics flooded down her cheeks.

 

Feeling incredibly empty the Commander just looked up at the newest tent getting flooded by the old townspeople, while he made himself walk around the camp with no particular direction to strive. For when the relief had settled, worry grew up again. He had tried to play games in his head, help others, but now he couldn't avoid it any longer.

Now, that they were safe, they had the opportunity to think. And that was just as dangerous as getting attacked. Getting stuck in a the moment, remembering and grieve.

A new threat to burden them with his presence, one they were not sure to be able to defeat.

The Enchantress, Madame Vivienne looked especially displeased. As if her every word had been proven true. Because she was not pleased over her proven true theory. Far from it. She wished she had been wrong, even if she had been so very right.

But then, it turned. Because even she _had_ been wrong. 

For was it not the men meaning to serve and protect the innocent that now had proven to be their enemies?

Templar's, Cullen's former comrades.

He did not wish to believe it so. But now, his order had been perverted and drawn against a fate much worse. They willingly sacrificed themselves, because they worked with the mages.

He wondered what she would think about this, had she still been alive.

The reaction as they attacked at Haven had been, horrific, as if she knew what she saw. What they were.

 

_"It's here! Redcliffe is.."_

 

_No. Don't think._

Cullen instantly hit his head with the wrist of his arm.

_Don't think. Don't fall into that pit again._

Varric was sitting by a fire, holding a worn book in hand. He was being busy scribbling over some sentences with a few lines, hard, until he growled and tossed the thing at the side.

The tevinter, Dorian was leaning leaning his hip against a couple of barrels. He looked deep in thought, and his eyes were puffy and red. Bull had closed his hand around his shoulder.

Everyone looked lost.

Solas in particular seemed to take it hard. He was sitting a few feet away on the log on the other side of the fire. His coat was unbuttoned, despite the cold. It looked like he did not care. Like life had lost it's meaning.

Cullen could relate.

 

"Commander."

He turned and spotted Cassandra, just a few feet away. Her breathing was unsteady, ragged. Probably from shock and not tears. Her golden eyes that normally was stern and flat looked incredibly blank.

Her death wasn't the thing that surprised him, but the huge impact that she had held on everyone.

 

Because people truly did believe she was chosen by Andraste. To see that hope, that fluttering light extinguished with just one breath made them lose their way. None of them knew how to move forward, how to take the next step.

"Yes." Cullen finally said with a dry throat. "Can I help you?"

The seeker was taken aback by his calm words. "No.. I was actually wondering if you would like to talk?"

"Me?"

The woman nodded. "You.. You've been awfully quiet. Even for you."

He clenched his jaw. He could undeniably hide the attraction that he felt.. _Had_ felt for her.

They had finally,  _finally_  gotten on better terms, only for her to never walk back through that gate.

_"I'm not an animal."_

_"Why would I think that?"_

Why had he been thinking that?

All that time he could have spoken with her. All that time he could have swallowed his pride. But he didn't.

 

And now he would never see her again.

 

He had waited and waited, told everyone he would evacuate lastly because he wished to see everyone in safety first, when in reality he had been waiting for one and one only. 

But only Dorian, Cassandra, Varric had returned before they saw the trebuchet launch. And at that moment, they had to run, least they get dragged into the wrath of the flood of snow themselves.

It hurt even to think about it. That moment, when they could wait no longer was one of the toughest choices he ever had done.

 

He could still see her eyes dance for him. He could still feel the warmth of her hand against his cheek, as if it still clung on to him.

He could see the woods where she once had saved him. Where there once had been a blur and only a shadow of her face that now lit up and became clear to him. Her unmarked cheeks and jaw with her toothy grin as she as a young girl poked him with that stick.

That time when she saved him.

And when he felt the sting in his eyes he instantly shook his head. He did not want to acknowledge the feelings it had stirred up within him. It was easier to pretend that they never had existed. 

"No." He growled after a pause. "I'd prefer to be alone."

 

Drained he walked to one of the many fires, where Solas and Varric were sitting.

"Shit."

Cullen looked up as he seated himself on one of the many logs. 

"And he's the Magister you saw in the Free Marches." Cassandra asked far behind.

"Not my fondest memory, but yes, I did." The dwarf grunted.

Solas looked at him from afar, nudging his head back and forth. "And you killed him? You were certain of his death?"

Varric rolled his eyes as he looked back on the other elf. "Yes. What's on your mind, Chuckles?"

"He survived the explosion that destroyed the Conclave. If he can live through a blast that levels a mountaintop, we would do well to determine how."

Cullen looked at the other man with a certain sort of reverence. Whatever feelings he had before instantly vanished at this moment. Necause at this moment he still showed hope. A will to fight.

"Even if we knew, would that help us?" Varric interrupted and rose up. "The Wardens couldn't kill him, and they had a thousand years to figure it out." He then gestured for all those around.

 

"I mean--Look at it all! Here! The soul hope to actually stop this mess died on that mountain!"

 

He fell with a thump back on the log and caught his head as he shook it back and forth. "Whatever hope I had for this world sodding died today."

Solas fell in silence as he retreated his eyes away from the dwarfs.

Varric had probably been the one taking it the most hard. He had warned them. Warned! Warned  _everyone_ what the red Lyrium did. And look now, here they were, transformed entities that no longer where men. Just hollow shaddows lost to one thing and one thing only.

Madness and with the never-ending desire for blood.

 

Solas tightened his fists as he chewed the inside of his mouth. He wanted to rise up, tell everyone to continue on. But even he felt weak at this moment. And so he relaxed himself there on the log, next to Cullen who sighed as he dove with his head between his hands.

 

"So cold."

 

The people around the fire turned up their heads when as they heard the boy again. Cullen gave a way a disgusted sneer as his head turned back towards the fire. He really did not like the thing. It had only brought bad luck. The boy kept huttering, pulling his hands up and down as he  stepped on the place.

"Wish I had shoes."

Cassandra frowned from afar. "But, you have shoes."

Solas snapped when he heard the boy and instantly found his feet. Cullen turned and looked up on Solas.

"Is it you he.."

"No!" Solas interrupted with light in his eyes. "Keep talking, Cole. Tell us more."

"She's so.. _Bright._  Like looking into the sun, or a lightening star. It.. doesn't hurt anymore? It feels.. Strange."

 

Cullen did not want to think it was her.

It couldn't be.

If he got his hopes up only to find out later that it had been untrue he couldn't keep going. It would be to painful to even believe it was her.

But when he saw the people gathering around, when he heard the whispers among the rambling of the ghost, when they began to cheer he felt courage growing.

 

He felt _hope!_

 

`~)*(~´

 

"So cold."

 

A few hours off walking had finally made her senses dull and the raw pain that cut deep into her bones was not as reminding as before. It was a rejoice in it, but a dangerous one. Because she had seen he effect of walking too long without a sense in your finger and toes.

"Wish I had shoes.." She muttered with a shaky breath.

  
It had been an never-ending marsh through the white, ever since Haven. She dared not stay in the tunnel she had fallen in and neither did she knew the north direction. The storm took care of that. Not to mention how she hardly even could hear, smell or even see.

Everything around her was a blur. Just as when she had received the mark..

No, Anchor.

It was called the  _Anchor_.

But it didn't glow anymore. All she felt was a tremble, a numbing sort of ache. This was the first time she wished it had. Because it would have warmed her.

She did not trust to summon a fire, even if a small one. Depleted of energy and will alike, along with trembling fingers she could hardly direct her arms. Not to mention that that monster could be looking for her. A fire would remove her cover by the storm. Instead she hid her arms inside her thin and patched tunic.

Why, oh why had she insisted on only wearing that? She knew Ferelden to be cold. She knew the temple of Sacred Ashes would be cold.

But then again, she did not own any warm clothes in the Free Marches. The climate was exotic, they had palm trees and the only time it snowed they went north, towards the coast's of Antiva.

Getting lost in a blizzard wasn't the end she had pictured for herself. Then again, what kind of death had she thought to be suitable? The sort where you just sleep never to wake? A dagger in her throat?

She chuckled a little as she remembered her fear for the Breach.

How long ago it all of a sudden seemed. Like it all had been a dream.

Why she even kept herself going astonished even her. She had seen no signs during the battle through the tempest.

But when she looked up and saw the dancing green and blue scar among the stars she was notified of the truth.

It had happened.

Magic was.. Well.

It was magical.

But not all that good.

Not when it could create monsters like the one haunting her.

All of a sudden when  she felt a stinging sensation  she pinned her eyes down.

Her naked foot had met little resistance this time and instead it had unknowingly stepped into a small pit of ash. And from the judge of it was still warm. Her foot disappeared equally as fast as it had entered. Regrowing the senses would only result in more pain as the foot once more would need to wade through he snow.

_Embers.. Recent?_

For the first time in her life sleep seemed so very desirable all of a sudden. She wanted nothing more then to curl into the small firepit she had walked by and just relax. Every step was a never-ending torture. For the cold night air was as much a pain as putting down your foot in the snow.

She had walked for what seemed like hours. It might just have been one. Or two. It was hard to tell because of the dark, and the hard wind. Snow continued to whip her in the face, but there was no shelter, with the expetion for a few trees. But they would do little, and so she moved on, hoping to find a better place. Her better senses would do litte. Touch felt numb, smell impossible in the wind, eyesight restriced and hearing was overrun by the blowing wind. One small gust made her look down, to avoid it from whipping her already sore skin.

It dashed up again almost immediately as she heard a voice.

Men, calling, worriedly.

 

For a short moment she felt tense.

It was now or never.

If she wanted to run, go back, she had to do it now, while they still thought her dead. 

This was her last chance.

But just as she had turned in order to run out in the open she stopped.

She couldn't. 

Couldn't run away.

There was no one else that had the power to seal the Rifts. If she abandoned them, she would doom the world with them.

And so she turned back. took another few deep steps.

And when she heard him call, when she heard her Templar's voice she fell, embracing the cold with her hot breath.

 

"Feleandris."

She snapped back in an instant, looked up and reached forward the small basket with herbs that the other elf with the dark robes took. He took a quick look inside it and then placed it on the ground.

"You know what day it is tomorrow?"

"I do."

"Go and prepare."

 

She made her way to the small lake where their clan had camped close to. Many of her brethren was bathing in the moonlight, singing and cheering. But as soon as she stepped close to the shore everyone made themselves scarce and she was left alone.

Nether a sigh or a gasp of discontentment left her as she stepped out from her tunic, leaving it at the beach. The water was not cold, for the sun had been glowing the whole day.

"Are you as exited as I?"

She turned, naked, meeting her brother in arms as he waded out in the water. Humans might have seen it as something bizarre, and disgusting. But living as they did nudity was not something you though as embarrassing, even if she had yet to give her body and heart to someone else. Seeing Sadron's length was therefore not something out of the ordinary and he had seen her naked and bare breasts many times.

"Not really." She said as she dived under and studied the inhabitants of the lake. The pond was large, and had a river connected from the sea with it, therefore they floated easier than they would have more inland's.

The creatures in the dark depth was more interesting as well. Fishes and insects a whole lot less mundane than you would see out in the open plains. Sadron was after, pointing at something glowing in the dark. He reached out his hand, which she ignored and dived deeper to what he had pointed out.

A stone, small and pink.

Her eyes instantly widened and she felt the air blow out of her.

For it was that stone, that pink and innocent thing that she had around her neck.

 

But now it glowed red and stung to the touch.

 

Desperate to breathe her hands flew up and she made her way up closer to the surface. Once she emerged water spilled everywhere. Exhausted and eager for rest her hands clung to something floating by. Cold, and slippery to the touch.

Once her breathing settled she realized where her naked form rested on.

A block of ice.

And as she stared up she noticed the green wound above her head with red dots of fire running down the hills around her.

 

"Where were you?" 

A voice had called, to whom she recognized as the young Templar she had met back in Val Royeaux.

But unlike last time he was not wearing his normal attire. Even his darker skin was glowing red as blood and his flat nose had been dramatically crystallized just as half of his left side of his jaw.

 

**YOU SAID YOU WOULD COME FOR US!**

 

Other hands grasped behind her, in which she saw the man who had been besides the monster on top of the hill.

**Andraste bless me**

**Andraste blessed me**

 

Her begging did little. Alone, floating on the ominous lake with the red crowd she could do nothing but to wait for her death.

 

**My tears are my sins**

**My sins**

**My sins**

Everywhere more and more people walked up from the now red lake, glowing red from the Lyrium. The bodies of her victims rested on other blocks, red from getting their limbs and throats ripped out. Next to her, a head, hollowed from his eyes and missing jawbone.

And her hands, green.

And as she turned away to flee, she was stopped by a limb and bloody man in front of her, reaching out his crystallized arm. Under the rugged hair and beard she could see an ill willed smile as his red hand rose, tenderly scratched off skin from her cheek.

 

"At least.. I got to see you, one last time."

 

And when he fell, with her dagger in his chest she followed after, clinging to the limp and hollowed corpse that started to melt through her her dark, claw-like fingers. 

                                                                                           

_Mirrors on mirrors on memories._

 

His eyes were so out of focus, as if he didn't look at her, but inside her, trying to figure something out.

As if she was a lock and he, the key.

"Who are you?"

 

_I've been watching. Observing grants a different view. I see more. See you._

_You need to wake up._

 

"I can't.. I cannot leave them. Not again." She looked away on the crowd getting closer and closer. On the monsters filled by red Lyrium. "I failed them." She said as she stared at the boy. "If I had been swifter, if I had been there they wouldn't be red. They would be themselves, unharmed."

 

_This is not real. None of this is real unless you let it be._

_I am real. I can help._

 

He stood now, in front of her. Surprised her face fell as he moved closer. A boy with an abnormally big hat took hold of her green wrist and the whispers that had been all around had become a source. 

"You are you, you are the walls, the water, the ground. They are you. You need to accept their fate. It's not your fault. You're afraid, but you don't have to be."

"What are you on about?"

"There is no other you. You becomes her when you need to fight. But now you're safe and you can become  _you._ Everyone is waiting." Here he released her wrist. "Waiting for _you_."

She looked, confused and aggravated by the boy. He looked.. Nice. But she did not trust him. 

"I don't ask you to trust me. I ask you to trust what I say."

 

Shocked her eyes widened.

He.. Heard her thoughts?

 

"What **are** you?!"

 

For the first time, ever, the boy smiled. "I'm Cole." He stretched out his hand towards her, awaiting for her to take it. "I want to help. I don't want to posses you. I'm not like that. I'm not asking you for anything. All you need to do is.."

 

"Wake up."

  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've begun to edit and rewrite the oldest chapters. So if you see any updates, it's most likely them.
> 
>  
> 
> Translations : Felandris - Demon weed


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